Title: Spoken From the Heart

Author: PyroChilde

Summary: All things considered, there are very few certainties in this world and one of those undeniable facts of life is Andrew's complete inability to keep his mouth shut. What happens when Buffy finds out that our favorite bleach blonde vamp is undead and kickin' once again?

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, you know the drill.

Spoken From the Heart

By: PyroChilde

Chapter 2: A Blast from the Past

It had been a month since Buffy learned of Spike's undead status, and Buffy had begun to move on with her life once again. That, of course, meant that the Powers That Be had to start messing with her head again. She was sitting at the kitchen table looking through a paper that she couldn't even read. It was her day off and she was bored.

Sighing, Buffy went to look for something to occupy her time. Turning on the television and flicking through a couple channels turned up nothing, and so she decided to hop online for a bit, maybe check her email or check out some of her favorite sites. The computer was located in the spare room and Andrew had long ago tried to claim the small space. Logging in, she discovered that he'd left one of his mixes in the computer. He was always making his own mixed CDs and he couldn't seem to remember to put them away when he was done. When the media player opened, Buffy decided to check out what was on this one. She almost fell out of the chair when the first verse of Bette Middler's "Wind Beneath My Wings" filled the air.

Buffy's breath caught in her throat as the words filled the air, and she was taken back to another, much simpler, time in her life. Everything had been so straight forward then. Her mother was around then, and Buffy could still remember the happiness in Joyce's eyes for the brief moment that she had believed her little girl would get married like all the normal girls. That look hadn't lasted long what with her discovering Willow's role in the whole thing, but Buffy had always longed to see that look in her mother's eyes again. Her spell-induced engagement to William the Bloody was one of the happiest times in her life despite the fact that it had all been cause by the magical blunder of her best friend. For a few hours, she'd been loved and in love and she had been truly happy. In the years that came after, Buffy had found herself looking back on that time and wishing that she could find those feelings again.

Tears ran down the slayer's face as she remembered the only real time her and Spike had been happily in one another's arms without the threat of the world falling down around their ears. No one else knew it, but Buffy still had the ring her vampire gave her that night. At the time, it had just been far too embarrassing to return the dreadful thing, but later she had come to cherish that ring. It wasn't really anything special; a skull ring Spike had pulled off his finger in the spur of the moment. After his death, however, it had come to mean the world to her. That and the silver lighter she'd stolen from him one last time before the final battle were the only things she had to remember him by. Hearing the song that she'd wanted played at their wedding only served to remind her of all that could have been and all that she'd lost.

Buffy sat there at the computer and cried for all she had lost. She sobbed her heart out in grief and cursed her own stubbornness that had kept her from seeing the truth for so long. She'd never once made an effort to make Spike feel loved or important while he'd treated her like a goddess to be worshiped and adored. He'd been willing to give his very life if she so desired it but she wouldn't even give him the three simple words he dreamed of hearing. She'd never tried to make things right with him and now he wanted nothing to do with her. It hurt more than words could ever describe.

As the song went on and Buffy continued to dwell on all that Spike had given her, the irony of it all struck her. The lyrics seemed so fitting, now more than ever. A sardonic chuckle escaped her lips and she shook her head, no longer willing to wallow in self pity. If Spike had been willing to go through all that he had for her, on the off chance that someday she might give him just a crumb of what he longed for, then she could damn well make an effort herself! After all, who said that Spike had to call her? She was perfectly capable of making the first contact, and didn't Spike deserve to be the one being chase for once instead of running after her all the time? With her mind made up, the slayer got up and left the computer room. She had a vampire to get in touch with.

TBC...

AN: Review, c'mon you know you wanna!