"Mwu?"

The room was dark, the bed as neatly made as it had been that morning when they had left. The air was still, everything undisturbed. He clearly hadn't been back here today, and he wasn't in his usual haunts around the ship. Where was he? Had he gone into the city and lost track of time? Sighing, the young woman set her heavy bag down on the bed, running a hand through her hair. She hadn't seen him since earlier that morning, when he had walked her to the hotel where the peace talks were being held. He had been cheerful and happy, which in turn had made her happy. After everything that had happened, with the baby, and their (almost) shotgun wedding...he was still happy. On the outside, anyway.

But sometimes I wonder. Sometimes...he gets a faraway look in his eyes. As if he's seeing something that I can't, or remembering something I don't. It makes me wonder..what kind of life did he have in the last two years? What...did they do to him?

Leaving the still-dark room, she made her way back off the ship, and out into the city of Copernicus. Night had fallen, the moon's orbit taking the lunar city out of the path of direct sunlight. The air had become chilly, and Murrue hugged herself, shivering as the cool breeze washed over her. There were several people walking the streets, some going to restaurants, some window-shopping, couples wandering here and there, happy in each other's company. Despite her worry, the young captain smiled, wondering if one day she and her husband would be able to do that. Just walk together, hand-in-hand, with no concerns or worries in the world, through a peaceful city. We will. One day, back home on Earth, we'll do that. Just the two of us...She chuckled to herself, rubbing a hand over her rounded stomach. Or perhaps...the three of us..

How long she walked for, she didn't know. She didn't know where he was...didn't even know if he was still here. I should have waited back in our room..

Where would he have gone? Where was he likely to be? I...don't know....Murrue realised. All this time...and I really don't know all that much about him. Our relationship..it's never been about words, just feeling, emotion. We knew we loved each other, and that was all we needed. But now - now we're married. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this man...shouldn't I know all there is to know about him? All he's ever told me about are fragments from his childhood... Turning a corner into a park, she sighed, leaning against a tree. But then again, Mwu didn't know everything about her either. He knew a little about her past, that her old boyfriend had been a mobile armour pilot...but that was about all. He and I...we made promises to each other when we married. To share everything, good times and bad, happiness and sadness. But how can we do that...if we don't even know about each other's past?

Moving away from the tree, Murrue started down a small asphalt path, a tiny smile coming to her lips at the sight of the dozens of tightly-budded flowers lining her way. One day..she wanted something like this. Her own garden. She had loved flowers ever since she was a little girl, all kinds, colours and scents. One more thing Mwu didn't know about her...

"But I'll tell him," she said out loud, placing a hand on her stomach again. "I'll tell him, and perhaps when we get home...I can teach you all about flowers too.." She hummed to herself as she walked, rounding a corner...then stopped short.

Up ahead, sitting on a bench, was her missing husband. His azure eyes were fixed on the windows of the city, the starlight from above casting an eerie glow on him. His shoulders were slumped, his entire posture speaking of dejection and sadness. And on his cheeks...were those...tears?

"Mwu?" she asked, moving closer cautiously. The blonde man didn't stir, gave no sign that he'd heard her, that he even knew she was there. Murrue frowned. She had never seen him like this. Not even in those hours after he'd come back from Mendel, when he'd been the bleakest and most despondent she'd ever seen him. Here, now..it seemed much worse. Like something heavy was weighing him down..

Sitting down beside him, she tried again to get his attention. "Mwu..are you all right?" Still no response. Moving a little closer, Murrue placed a hand on his cheek, brushing aside a lock of his hair. That had an effect. He jumped, startled, turning to her. "Wha-" His shock faded as he saw her sitting there before him, and he glanced away, eyes full of pain. The young woman watched him for a moment, then gently ran her hand up through his hair. He let it out. All the pain and the sadness he's been hiding... She had known that her beloved was keeping something hidden, bottled up deep inside, but she hadn't said anything, hoping that whatever it was, he would tell her eventually. The nightmares had haunted him, never waking him, but never leaving, either. All she had done was take him into her arms as he slept, running a hand through his hair, whispering endearments, until the fear left him, and he slept peacefully again for a time.

"You don't have to tell me now," she said softly, making him look up at her again. "But when you're ready, I'll be waiting, okay?" Mwu stared at her, clearly surprised. "But I...I never...how..?"

"You didn't have to," she replied, taking his hand in between both of hers. "But I could tell. Whatever it is you kept hidden...you hid it very well. Either for yourself, or for me, I'm not sure. But at night - in your dreams..." He chuckled, but the sound was hollow, bitter. "I guess I should have known I couldn't have hidden it forever." he murmured, leaning back on the bench. "I didn't want to...I didn't want you to know. It was partly selfish, too." He sighed, running his other hand over his face to rid himself of the partly-dried tears. "I thought that if I buried those memories and feelings deep enough..they wouldn't ever surface again. Guess I was wrong. I didn't want to remember, and I never wanted you to know, either. I thought that if I buried Neo, hid him inside the deepest part of myself...that I could just be Mwu again - the Mwu you loved before. But I never can be.." Murrue listened quietly, then squeezed his hand gently. "Something like that...it shouldn't be hidden," she told him. "I realised earlier...that marriage is about sharing everything with each other. Times of great happiness - as well as sadness. If you ever want to tell someone..if you want to talk, I'll be there to listen."

"I can't," he said softly. "Because if I did, if I told you everything Neo did - I did - you'd hate me, and I couldn't bear that. I can live with other people hating me, I could even expect it...but not you."

"Didn't I tell you before...that I could never hate you?" she replied. Raising his hand to her lips, she kissed it lovingly. "But it's okay." Shuffling a little closer, she rested her head on his shoulder, amber eyes trained on the stars beyond the windows. "Whenever you feel like you're able to tell me, I'll listen. And I'll still be here.."

He closed his eyes, tilting his head to one side to rest it on hers, an arm moving to wrap around her waist. "How do I deserve you?" he asked, voice laced with a hint of wonder. "All I am, all I've done, and you're still here beside me.." Murrue smiled. "It's because of all you are and all you've done that I'm here. You saved my life twice, gave me hope for the future..and gave me a family. That's why I could never hate you, and why I'm still here."

Mwu pulled her a little closer, lifted his head...and began to tell her his story. All the things he had done, said and thought in the last two years. Never making any excuses, never hiding anything from her. Because...she deserved to know.

"That kid, the ZAFT kid I met when he brought Stellar back..I saw him again today, and it brought it all back...I made him a promise," he finished softly. How much time had passed since he'd begun, neither of them knew. Minutes maybe, or hours.. "That I'd keep her safe..give her a happy life. But it was a promise I couldn't keep - one that wasn't mine to keep. As much of a puppet Stellar was...I was just as much of one. I wanted to keep that promise - so badly. But I.." He scrubbed at his face, wiping away the tears. "That's it," he said. "Everything."

Murrue looked up at her husband, tears of her own streaming down her cheeks. "Oh God.." she whispered. He suffered so much...spent all that time in so much pain. However much they changed his memories, they could never change his heart. Inside, he was always my Mwu. The same warm and caring soul I love so much. All this..what they made him do..it crucified him...

Closing her eyes, the last of her tears sliding free, she hugged him as tightly as she could. "I'm sorry.." she murmured. "So sorry.."

"Why are you sorry?" he asked, blue eyes full of confusion. "None of this is your fault.."

"Because you lived with this all bottled up inside for all this time, and I never asked about it. You tried so hard to keep it all in...everything you had to go through. But it's okay now." She nuzzled closer, a hand moving to stroke his hair. "All of it. You're going to be okay.." Mwu finally hugged her back, breathing in the scent of her own dark hair. "You..think so?"

"I know so," she replied. "Because I love you, and nothing could ever change that. And.." She raised her head to gaze right at him, amber eyes focusing into blue ones. "I forgive you." He gasped quietly, and Murrue could see the unmistakeable sign of tears in his eyes. Without a word, he buried his face on her shoulder, the tears soaking through her clothes. She smiled, rubbing her hand up and down his back, soothing him. "It's okay.." she whispered. "It's going to be okay.."

This is what he needed. To be forgiven, and to know that he's loved no matter what. And he is...

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( Woo. Heavy. I didn't mean for it to be so introspective, but it does seem to work. Did I make Mwu OOC there?

Please read and review! )