Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing at all.

Warning: This chapter contains graphic scenes of an explicit nature, if you are not comfortable with this, then I suggest that you do not read this story because sex is a large role in the plot, though not in a smutty way. Sex, in this story is Ruthie's self destruction. It's used as a weapon rather than some fabulous, mind-blowing experience. Eventually, that will change. But a large part of this story is Ruthie's self destruction and the affect that this all has on her and her relationships.

Ok. ... that was a bit of a longish rant so without further ado, I give you the first official chapter ).

Chapter 1: A Life Altering Decision

"Are you sure, honey?" the nurse at the abortion clinic asked as Ruthie turned in her medical forms.

This question seemed out of place in a clinic such as this, however, Ruthie thought 'She sees this everyday, how can she care? Maybe she was me once? Maybe she made a mistake that she couldn't take back.'

Ruthie was beginning to have second thoughts about her decision and quickly rid herself of her qualms.

"I've never been more sure in my life," she said.

'I've also never been more scared in my life,' Ruthie thought, but decided to keep that to herself. She needed this abortion. There was no other way.

As she sat in the dingy waiting room, Ruthie considered the events that led her to this dark place in her life.

Six Months Ago. . .

"I love you . . . as . . . as a friend," Martin stammered as he looked deeply into Ruthie's tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry. . ."

"How . . . how could you be so stupid? How could I be so stupid?" Ruthie desperately cried.

"You don't even know her, yet you're having a baby with Sandy." Ruthie spat, placing an edge on the name "Sandy".

"My whole family knows! Everyone! Matt, and Mary and Simon and Lucy, Kevin, Mom, Dad, Sam and David! They all know. Everyone. Everyone, but me."

"Ruthie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Yeah, me too."

And with that last statement, Ruthie swiftly strode out the back door, slamming it behind her.

She ran and ran until her legs gave way and she collapsed on a near park bench.

There Ruthie sat until a dark figure loomed over her. He was tall, handsome, and new (at least in Ruthie's opinion, because she sure as hell hadn't seen him before.) His eyes were slightly red, but she thought it worked.

'His eyes match mine,' she thought, 'though I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one doing all the crying.'

"Hey baby," drawled the man, "You look like you could use a little fun."

As clichéd as that line sounded to Ruthie, she couldn't find any objection. She was hurt, angry and not thinking straight.

'If Martin can sleep with a complete stranger, then so can I,' she irrationally thought.

Ruthie turned to the handsome stranger.

"Yeah, I could use some fun," she drawled, "So, are you gonna help me out or am I gonna have to find another way to… entertain myself?"

Before the stranger could reply, Ruthie crashed her lips upon his. She slipped her tongue in his mouth and kissed him with such an intensity that it appeared she was throwing all of her feelings of hurt and resentment into his body.

He grabbed her ass and pushed his pelvis into hers. Ruthie's mind and body were in states of overdrive. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. Ruthie had always been perfect, but it was time for her to be torn off of her pedestal.

She ground her hips into his as his hand slowly slipped under her sweater and deliberately trailed up her stomach until he reached the under wire of her bra. Without asking permission, the handsome stranger slipped his hand under her bra and placed his hand on her right breast. He began to knead the soft, supple flesh until he found her nipple and encircled it slowly before beginning to pinch and twist the hardened nub.

She could not capture the moan that escaped her lips as she allowed her head to rest in the crook of his neck.

As his left hand meticulously teased Ruthie's nipples, his right hand slid up her skirt and began to pull down her silk panties. He slowly rubbed her nether lips, gently teasing her. She bucked her hips against his experienced fingers as his thumb began to circle her most sensitive spot. He slowly slid a finger into her.

Ruthie groaned and arched herself into him, desperate for more. All rational thought had left her as she allowed her body to give into her most primal desires. He easily slid a second and third finger into her at a deliberately slow pace.

"Please," she panted.

"Please, what?" he goaded her.

"I need to, I need, I. . . Uh. . . mmm . . . I need to" she trailed off as her words became muffled and overpowered by her moans.

"Say it," he ordered.

"I need to . . . to . . . come," she whimpered, and with that he began to slam his fingers in and out of her while teasing her most sensitive areas. Ruthie's legs began to shake as she felt a surge of pleasure erupt within her.

She steadied herself against him as she rode upon waves of pleasure. Slowly, Ruthie detached herself from the mysterious stranger.

"Same time tomorrow," she whispered as she slowly backed away from him, a hint of a smile playing upon her lips. As she walked home that night she realized that she had never felt so alive.

Ruthie entered her house without a word to her gathered family members or Martin. She reached the bathroom and began to analyze the night's events. She looked into the mirror, taking in her red eyes and the glow upon her cheeks. Then she turned to the toilet and vomited.

Ruthie felt used and dirty, yet she knew that the next night she would go back to the nameless stranger. She needed to feel alive.

"Ms. Camden . . . Ms. Camden," the nurse called bringing Ruthie out of her reverie.

"I'm going to need you to fill out a few more consent forms."

Wordlessly Ruthie nodded her head and walked to the desk. She spared one last thought to the night that had sent her spiraling into the dark abyss. Before she reached the desk, she turned to the barrel, which was placed against the wall, and vomited. That night still made her sick to her stomach. This clinic made her feel just as dirty and used as every late night interlude with perfect strangers did. And she had begun to need the self deprecation. She craved it. And that was another thing that all stemmed back to Martin.

A/N: Ok, so here's the first chapter. The next chapter will focus on the surgery and reflect upon Ruthie's second night with the stranger. Martin, as well as the Camdens will also make an appearance. The speed of the next update will depend upon the reviews that I get. Please Read & Review.

xO. Beautiful Deceit