Author's Notes: I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to write this part. Finally, I've decided to just write it and get it over with. I'll never get to Kurama if I don't get past this part.
Category: Anime, Yu Yu Hakusho, vague X-men fusion, AU

Warnings: angst, child abuse, violence, vague ncs
Pairings: Hiei+Yukina/Y+H (not sexual), will be KuramaxHiei
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina (a) hotmail . com
Archive: www . geocities . com / arigatomina

Unwanted

Part 2

Hiei woke with a gasp, his heart pounding in his ears. He thought he'd heard something, Yukina scratching at his door or maybe crying out from downstairs. Now his heart was pointing too loudly for him to hear anything else.

He twisted out of bed with the intention of checking the hall, but he'd no sooner made it to his feet than he lurched back against the covers once more. He'd forgotten again. This was the second night he'd woken in pain and panicked, thinking it was Yukina's rather than his own. He'd also forgotten his door had a new lock on the outside.

His shoulders and behind his knees hurt the worst, so when he curled or rolled over in his sleep the pain woke him like a scream in the dark. The welts had only bled a little, and they didn't do more than sting during the day. He thought he should have been used to them. None of the punishments he'd gotten in the last few weeks had hurt nearly as bad as the first one. Compared to that one, this was nothing.

The man hadn't hit him very hard the first time, but he'd deserved that one.

As much as he'd been torn by his own treatment of Yukina, he'd had no idea Pearl was as angry about it as he was. And the man was even angrier. He had been awake, waiting for things to quiet down before he crept downstairs. So he didn't bother to feign sleep when his door was opened. And though he didn't know the source of it, he recognized the man's anger the moment he flicked on his bedroom light and closed the door behind him. Once he knew why he was being punished, he hadn't resisted or cried during it because he agreed with him.

He'd cried later, after it was over, with his burning back pressed tight against the wall. That had been the most painful because even being hit and screamed at for having hurt Yukina didn't make him feel any less guilty. He'd thought it would. Yukina hadn't blamed him. Even if she had, she'd never repay him for any hurt he caused her. So he'd thought maybe if the man did it for her, he'd feel better. Instead, he'd felt worse, like there was something wrong about wanting to be hurt so he wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore, like the guilt was the real punishment and he'd tried to get out of it.

Things had been different since then. Pearl stopped bringing people to the house and spent her time watching him, sending him out of the room if he so much as looked at Yukina. The man was there all the time now, and they yelled at each other when she made Hiei sit in the corner. He didn't think that was a real punishment, and she didn't think it was any of his business how she disciplined the children. Then they'd argue about other things, and Hiei knew without looking that Yukina was cringing in her chair, trying to be as small and quiet as possible until one of them stomped out of the room. If the man left the room first, he'd come upstairs and hit him later.

He hit him harder than he had that first time because Hiei struggled and bit and scratched, making sure the man had at least one cut or bruise by the time it was over. It wasn't like the first time because he hadn't done anything wrong, and even if he had, he knew getting hurt wouldn't make it better.

He'd thought things would continue that way until Pearl did what she kept threatening to do and left, taking Yukina with her. Then, three days ago, he'd come downstairs to find the man making breakfast for them.

The man had smiled and touched him, patting his head the same way he did Yukina's. And he'd smiled and talked nice to them all day as if they liked him. He let them sit together on the couch and smiled when Yukina fell asleep, curled up against Hiei's side with one hand holding tight to his baggy shirt. After dinner he'd turned the radio up loud and encouraged them to play, saying they didn't laugh often enough. Then he'd sent Yukina to bed and brought a long green stick up to Hiei's room and pinned him down while he hit him until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Hiei had woken in the dark to find his door locked from the outside.

He'd been terrified then, with Yukina alone downstairs, unable to get to her even if she cried for him. But she smiled at him the next day.

When the man let him out the next morning, Yukina looked happy. She smiled and laughed and was so pretty it hurt to look at her. He knew nothing had happened because she was so happy just to be allowed near him again. Even when the man clapped them on the backs and the resulting pain made Hiei sick, Yukina didn't quite loose that radiant glow. She just fussed over his unusually weak stomach and took pleasure in being allowed to express her concern for him. She almost looked grateful to the man for giving her what Pearl had denied for so long, access to her brother. That scared Hiei more than having a lock on his door did.

The man had walked him to his room both nights since then. He cornered him and rubbed the welts like he wanted to make sure they still hurt. Hiei had an idea the moment they didn't hurt anymore, the man planned to do it again, so he didn't try to hide his pain.

It might have been the rubbing that made him wake up a few hours after falling asleep. He kept waking up in pain from having rolled or shifted the wrong way. He was sure he should have been used to it after the first night, but those stinging welts were different from the bruises he'd had after being hit with a belt. He didn't have to put pressure on them for the welts to hurt, he just had to touch them.

Hiei crept back onto his bed and held still while he waited for the stinging burn to go away. His heart had quieted enough for him to hear wind blowing against the house. Everything inside was silent.

After a while, he abandoned the bed. He stretched out on the floor where he'd be able to hear the man come up in the morning. The last time he'd slept with the man nearby, he'd found a lock on his door. Hiei didn't want to know what he might find if he was caught asleep again.

He'd just started to doze off when he heard it. There was a creak in the hall downstairs and the sound of a door being slowly opened. Hiei scrambled up and back to his bed, taking care to avoid the board near the closet that creaked when it was stepped on.

When he first woke, his panicked thought was to rush out the door. But he was wide awake now, too awake to forget the lock. He went to the window instead.

When he'd thought about the window, he'd worried that he wouldn't be able to open it, or that the man would hear him open it and come rushing upstairs to hit him until he fell asleep and couldn't do a thing to protect Yukina. Now he didn't care. If the man came upstairs, he'd scream for Yukina to run outside. Hiei was sure she'd do it and the man would be in too much of a hurry trying to catch her to hit Hiei like he had before. It had taken forever for him to fall asleep the last time, and Yukina could run really fast. Even if the man did hit him instead of chasing her, Yukina would be safely hidden by the time he was done, and Hiei could sneak out and find her when he woke up again.

Even though he'd thought about what he'd do, his throat tightened as he pushed the window up. And his arms trembled a little in relief when the window slid with a very quiet hiss of paint shavings on plastic. He hadn't thought as much about what he'd do if he got the window open without the man noticing.

There was plenty of room for him to crouch in the window, the heavy glass braced on his stinging shoulders. But the tree looked farther away than he remembered and the heavy wind was blowing the closest limbs so they swayed and whipped in and out of his reach. The grass below was a hazy black shadow and his legs felt tight and damp, burning raw where his tensed muscles had split some of the welts open. He hadn't counted on having to jump with his legs hurting like that. He'd never thought he'd have a chance to jump at all.

He waited until one of those limbs lashed close enough to touch and leapt for it. Stems and prickly nobs scraped at his arms, his weight tearing at the base of the branch. There was a crack that might have been lightning or even a gunshot. Then he was running barefoot around the house. He didn't remember falling. Something damp was trickling into his ear, but it didn't hurt. Nothing hurt and he was too glad to wonder about it. He wasn't worried about being quiet, either.

The man must have heard him coming because he was looking at the doorway when Hiei reached Yukina's room.

His sister whispered something he couldn't hear. The man was yelling, but Hiei didn't look at him. Yukina was crying, curled back against the wall and almost hidden behind her knees. She reached a shaking hand toward him, whispering again, and the man whipped around and hit her across the face.

Hiei flinched, his mind in a daze. He couldn't understand why anyone would hit Yukina. He'd never known why the man wanted to frighten her, but somehow he hadn't thought he'd actually planned to hurt her.

The man grabbed his arm, jerking him toward the door. Hiei gasped and struggled suddenly.

He felt as if he'd fallen asleep and woken up in a nightmare. The man had actually hit Yukina. And now he wanted Hiei out of the room so he could hurt her more.

Hiei tore his arm away, unaware of the bits of skin he left in the man's empty hand. Yukina was sobbing with one hand clutched over her bleeding mouth. Hiei's eyes widened and the room seemed to brighten until he could see the horrible contrast of the blood on her pale wrist.

Something reached for him. He felt it like a hot breeze on the back of his neck. He turned and ducked and pushed himself forward, as hard as he could.

His fist seemed to sink into the man's skin so slowly he could feel the tiny hairs pressing into his knuckles. Then he hit bone and pain shot from his hand all the way to his neck. He was almost shocked that his arm hadn't shattered like glass and erupted out of his skin, it hurt so much.

The man lurched back with an expression Hiei had never seen him wear, shock and pain, and, for a split second, fear. They both knew if Hiei had struck him in the neck instead of the shoulder, he wouldn't be standing. Hiei glared at the mistake, but the man retaliated before he had a chance to try again.

He hit the floor with a choked cry that sounded more like an animal than him. He tried to push himself onto his back, but his elbow wouldn't work. And then the man was hitting him with his fists, each blow crushing him, burning behind his eyes and it hurt. But...it was him.

As long as it was him, the man wasn't paying attention to Yukina. She'd have a chance to get out.

He forced his eyes open, but the room was dark again, even darker than it should have been. Yukina was just a pale shadow near the window. He yelled for her to run...except...his voice wouldn't rise past a whisper. He said it again and the man jerked him over to scream in his face.

A fist sank into his stomach and he could almost feel it going right through him to crack against the floor. And he wondered, with everything swimming hurt and airless in his eyes, if the man's arm would shatter like his had.

He imagined his own voice, older, but his own, murmuring to him, telling him the man hadn't hit nearly as hard as he had, and that the man's bones could take the impact better. He heard himself give a faint grumble of annoyance at the condescending tone, but it faded off until he could hardly hear anything at all.

The man looked away from him, and Hiei realized Yukina was crying his name. He tried to focus on that, to open his eyes and see if she really was still there.

She should have run. He'd told her to run. Even if it had been a mere whisper, she must have heard him.

He couldn't move anymore. He was still awake, but he wouldn't be able to keep the man's attention on him. She had to have heard him and run, because if she hadn't...

His eyes eased open and light flooded into them. It was so sharp he thought his head would cleave in two. But he could hear her. Yukina was still in the room, only a few feet from him. He could see her tears glittering like gems, her hand shaking as she reached out for him.

She was calling his name...not brother, but Hiei. And it felt wrong, because Yukina never called him by his name...

The man was talking to her. One of his hands was still clenched on Hiei's shoulder, but the other was petting the edge of the bed as he looked over at her. He was smiling and murmuring, and his eyes were too wide, wild and crazed.

Hiei tried to push at him, anything to get his attention off Yukina, but his left arm wouldn't move and his right was pinned beneath the man's knee. His lips moved silently as he found his mind blank of any English words he could use.

All he could do was stare up at the man's profile and will him to look away. The man had to look at him, to see him and not Yukina. She couldn't get away so long as he could see her, with him so focused on her.

His head hurt so bad it was on fire. And it was bleeding... He could feel the blood creeping past his temples and into his hair.

The room darkened and he thought his eyes fell closed. But he could still see. The room was smoky and purple with shadows, but he could see the man turning to look at him. He could see Yukina crying on the bed. Then the man was touching him and every little movement hurt like his skin was filled with broken glass.

Yukina shifted down to the edge of the bed, reaching toward them. But the man didn't glance back. The man couldn't see her because Hiei wouldn't let him see. He didn't understand how, but he knew Yukina was invisible, safe. He wouldn't let the man see anything but him.

The man turned him, crushing him against the floor with his weight. And still, Hiei could see everything around him. He didn't know what the man was doing to him, but it hurt inside now. A hand clutched at his face and fingers pushed into his mouth. He gasped and choked but didn't have the strength to bite.

Little whimpering sounds reached his ear minutes before he realized they were coming from himself. He felt as if he were dying and the only reason his heart kept beating was because he couldn't hold the man's attention if he were dead...

A forceful push brought starbursts of pain exploding behind his eyes. He cried and choked on it as his sight went dim. Yukina was screaming now, screaming his name, so loudly he was sure the man would hear her.

He couldn't open his eyes, but he turned his head and saw her anyway. There was blood swimming around her like colored water on a dark window. He didn't understand that, or how he could see her at all. His eyes were closed. He knew they were because he could feel tears burning behind his eyelids.

Yukina cringed, her cries cut off suddenly. Hiei focused on her again and he could swear they were looking right at each other, despite his eyes being closed. Only...Yukina's eyes were wrong and her face wasn't terrified and desperate. Her face was dead, expressionless. And her eyes, usually so expressive and warm, were a cold and glowing white that bordered on yellow.

Hiei felt as if he were looking at her through a long tunnel, watching as she drifted further and further away. It was so cold and...wrong...where she was. And dark...she seemed to be glowing, but it was so dark he could barely see her.

She reached out again, her arm rigid, fingers spread in a deliberate way that Hiei found horrifying. Her hand curled slowly into a claw, gripping the air, and Hiei felt himself break violently away. He didn't understand. All he knew was that he couldn't watch her. He just couldn't. He couldn't look at her face when her hand snapped shut in a tight fist. The vengeance and hate gleaming in her eyes...he couldn't bear the guilt and horror at seeing her like that. And so he closed himself off and let the dark and the cold take him away.

.-.
TBC

Notes: There are flashbacks in Gmen that explain what happen immediately after this. I'll summarize them in the next part, but mostly it'll be about Hiei and Kurama. I think the ncs in this part is vague enough to be hosted on ffnet. If anyone disagrees, let me know and I'll edit out a paragraph or two and put the unedited version on my site.