Author's note: I wanted Claire's thoughts to be very scattered and all over the place that's why this chapter is written like this. (No it has nothing to do with bad writing on my part- ok maybe. This chapter has information from the Lost Experience in it, but not a whole lot.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Love and Memories:

Chapter three: I love LA

Claire's POV

It all happened so fast. One moment I was on the island, cursing Charlie's stupidity to join in a battle just after we got engaged and the next moment I'm on boat and Charlie is shrinking in the distance. I don't understand, the Other's offered me a chance to leave, but it was Charlie who insisted I go. Two boat rides, a 20-hour flight on a private jet, and a drive through dizzying LA traffic and poof, I'm standing in Charlie's hallway. Its funny, I was on the island for only a few months, but I've forgotten some of the little things, like how heavy doors can be and how loud cities are.

I hold Aaron in one arm as I search for Charlie's hide-a-key somewhere in the hallway. He said it would be near the fire extinguisher. I poke around, feeling my way around the metal case. Aha! I find the plastic hide a key case. Isn't it dangerous to leave these around, even more so in a city?

Oh right, he was a drug addict, he probably had other things on his mind other then where he put his key.

Remember that was Old Charlie, and Old Charlie died the day he meet me. I hold my breath just before I enter his flat. So let's see what kind of person Old Charlie was. His apartment is small, but clean and a lot nicer then I expected. White walls but great paintings and posters proves all the color needed. A big red couch sits across from the telly, wow a nice telly at that. Behind the couch next to the wall is his desk; complete with his laptop he spoke of.

I head into the kitchen, Aaron resting on my hips. His eyes are wide as he takes everything in. I coo to him, "I know everything's all different, but this is where your daddy lived before he met us." I open all the cabinets, bloody hell, Charlie has like no plates. When I open the cabinet with Easy Mac, it hits me exactly how hungry I am. I might need to take a respite from exploring my new surrounds to eat.

After I make my dinner, I set Aaron on the floor. It looks clean enough, I guess. The blinking light on Charlie's answering machine catches my attention. I hit play and listen while I eat.

"Hey Charlie, its Mark, dude where are you? Did you get Liam? I need to know the record company is like breathing down my neck. Dude, call me." Poor, Mark sorry but Charlie's a little busy, I'm sure the label is going to be disappointed.

Beep.

"Charlie Bear, It's Lisa. I'm hot and bothered and need some attention. Come over and bring the good stuff. I've got a wild night planned." I frown, well that's one booty call he missed.

Beep.

"Bloody Hell Charlie, I know you just left my house, but you didn't give me your new cell phone number. I know you're not going to get this until your back in LA, but please, just call me. We need to talk. I'm sure you think I'm a prat and that I'm a crappy brother. Just call me." Well maybe Liam isn't a much as a jerk as I thought he was.

Beep.

"Mr. Pace, this is the law offices Hinerman and Fullwood, we are representing an issue that may be of grave importance to you. We are sending a representative to Sydney to track you down. If for some reason he did not reach you, please call us back as soon as possible. Thank you." Weird.

Beep

"Hey Chazzy, you need a hit, you've been gone out of the loop for a while. Let me know." Lovely, at least his drug dealer has good costumer service.

Beep

"Charlie, please call me back. Look there was a plane crash and I need to know you weren't on it. Call me." Aw hell, Liam. Should I call him? Let him know his brother is safe, just stuck on some horrible island somewhere.

What about me? Should I call my mum, let her know I'm safe and sound. Tell her she's a grandma? Will she be happy? Will it give her a sense of piece of mind?

You know what, I've got too much to do to worry about my own family issues. I need to make a list. Prioritize everything,

1) Aaron—he needs bottles, a crib, a stroller, diapers, food, a doctor visit, and clothes.

2) Me – I need clothes

3) Charlie- I need to get him off the island.

4) Money- I need to get money.

Four hours of working and adjusting to my life, I discover the following things:

1) All of Charlie's passwords were easy enough to find.

2) Charlie has nearly $100,000 of useable credit.

3) has overnight delivery

4) It is every easy to use and had everything a young mother could possibly need.

5) Charlie's bank account is a wee bit heavier then I thought. Somewhere around $50,000 in his checking account and nearly triple that in his savings. He's been getting despots through the bank because of a song he wrote that made its way into a nationally broadcasted commercial for a television show. So for the time being, money will not be a problem.

6) I miss Charlie so much it hurts to breathe.

Damn how did this happen? He was just supposed to be some goofy guy who talked to me on the island and suddenly I feel like I can't live without him.

Exhaustion hits me. I feed Aaron and change his nappy and take him into bed with me. I know you're not supposed to let a baby sleep in the bed, because there is a potential to roll over and kill the baby in your sleep. Well wouldn't that be ironic, Aaron survives a plane crash, two kidnapping attempts, and the Others, only to be crushed by his mother.

It's only one night.

I crawl into bed and the first thing that hits me, is how soft and luxurious it is. Sure I've been sleeping on a lumpy mat or the ground for the past few months so everything feels softer to me. Still these are the nicest sheets I've ever felt. And the bed is huge, plenty of room for both Aaron and I. Wow together we only take up like a quarter of the bed, I guess Charlie needed a lot of room. Great now I'm picturing him with other women. Jealous and rage course though my veins.

Charlie is still on the island but he gave me everything he owned. Including the bed he shared with countless other women. I pull my knees to my chest and start to sob, questioning all that I believed in.

Am I just a fool for loving the worst possible man on the planet?

Should I still be on that island?

Should I just give up and start over fresh? Forget about the past three months, go find Thomas and give it a go?

How could a man like Charlie ever really love a woman like me?

Should I believe a word he said to me?

But the one question that plagues me is, why did he stay behind?

Was I so unworthy of staring a life with?

Was spending the rest if his life with me so unbearable he would rather stay on that horrible island than come back to the mainland with me?

I weep myself to sleep.

When I wake up, with that very strange where-am-I feeling? My brain needs to jumpstart and flash through the memories of the last few days. Suddenly I feel just as bad as I did last night. I check to make sure I didn't squish Aaron in the middle of the night. Good, he's still breathing and sleeping. But now there is a funky rank smell. Oh god! It's me. Yuck.

I feel like the worst mother in the world as I let him sleep on the bed as I take a shower, but I have very few options. I search through Charlie's linen closet and find an alarming lack of towels. What sort of person only has two towels? Even when I was broke I still had tons of them.

My first shower in over three months is a glorious and perfect experience. Hot water, soap, shampoo, I squeal with delight when I see Charlie has conditioner too. (Most of his hygiene products come from hotels—note to self---buy some more). In the tiniest moment of self-indulgence I shave my leg and underarms with Charlie's razor. I'll buy him a new one when he gets home.

The shower washes away my despair.

God I feel so clean, so girly. Three months of grime, dirt, sweat and sea salt is finally off my body. Bugger, I don't have any clothes. So, I'm clean, but dripping wet, naked, in Charlie's flat, lovely. I hurry into his room and start to dig through his clothes, after all he's a small guy, surely I can find something to fit. My god how many pairs of jeans and tee shirts can one man own?

Hmm, he is one stunning blue suit. Why the hell would he have that jammed in the back of his closet? Oh it might have been the suit he wore to his mother funeral. Great now I feel like a jerk.

I pull on some jeans and a tee shirt. Aaron looks up at me, as he slowly wakes up. My child is naked. I clearly can't go out in public with a naked child. So I guess I'm trapped here, until the packages from arrive. I feed Aaron and tend to his needs for a while, until he takes one of twenty naps of his day.

It takes me ten minutes to figure out how to turn on the telly, Charlie has like fifteen remote. Horrible music pumps out of the speakers as the show starts. Why would anyone want to pimp out other car? Are they selling the car out as a limo service? Oh, they are just putting useless crap into their car. Well that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why would you need to put a fish tank in your car? Or five mini tellys? American's are so bloody weird. So the last channel Charlie was watching before he left was MTV. I push the Last Channel button to get a tiny glimpse of the man I love was like before we met. Not terribly surprising, BBC America.

Everywhere I look, I see Charlie. All the CDs are lined up in alphabetical order, music posters and albums cover the walls. Even he shirts have little ironic twists to them. But his collection of books are by far the most interesting, he has everything from the classics of Dickens to Orwell. He even has a rare copy of the Odyssey. I always sort of assumed Charlie was smart, he just made bad choices, but his books really confirmed it.

I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder what time it is on the island? How is he holding up with us gone? Did everyone make it back to the beach alive? Now new horrible thoughts creep into my head, like the image o the leader of the Other's shooting Charlie in the back. God, I wish I knew he was all right.

Now how the bloody hell am I going to get him off the island?

There is a knock at the door. I pick up Aaron and look through the peephole. YAY my stuff is here. I open the door and a very annoyed USP man is standing in the hallway, "Did you order all this stuff?"

I nod, "Yep."

He grumbles, "It's a damn good thing you're hot." I really don't know how to react to that statement. He heads down stairs and starts to haul the boxes into the flat. Each box I count and see my life getting a tad bit easier. Aaron's crib, stroller, clothes, a diaper Genie, (I don't know what it is but apparently I have to have one,) a car seat, (I don't even know if he has a car, but I thought I might need one), a playpen, a ton a of toys, a sweat suit I ordered for myself and a book I thought I might need. Oh I should place an order for more towels too. And underwear.

Suddenly a horrible little man with a fake tan and awful fake hair rushes past the deliveryman, "Lady. Just who the hell do you think you are?'

"What's the trouble?" I ask. I have no idea how to handle the situation. Absent-mindedly I start to play my engagement ring.

"This apartment is supposed to be vacant, unless you have an ID, I am going to call the cops." Yells the horrible little man.

The deliveryman slams the last package down, "Lady, you better freaking live here, because I'm not carrying these boxes back down those stairs."

Why is everyone mad at me? I'm just trying to start a new life. My mouth hangs open. "Um my name is Claire… I'm Charlie's…"

"Sister in law." A voice calls from across the hallway. A Hispanic woman stands in her doorway.

The horrible little man turns to the woman, "You know her?" He points to me.

"Yeah." The woman nods. "I don't see why you freaking out about this Luke, Charlie's apartment is paid up for the next nine months. You couldn't rent it out anyway."

"I don't want squatters."

"I'm not." I totally am.

"Great you live here, your stuff is inside, good luck putting it all together." The UPS man huffs and leaves.

This Luke fellow glares at me, "If you need anything, fix it yourself." He quickly descends down the stairs, leaving me alone with the woman.

I smile, "Thanks."

"Who are you?" Her face becomes hard. "Because I know for damn sure you aren't his sister-in-law." She steps into the hallway. "How the hell did you get Charlie's DriveSHAFT ring?"

"Charlie's my fiancée." I stammer.

She thinks over my statement, she taps her finger to her chin, "You mean Charlie WAS your fiancée? Right?"

I shake my head violently, "No, he is he proposed a few days ago."

"Lady, Charlie was in a plane crash, you must have one hell of a story."

I sigh, glancing over my shoulder at all the boxes and items I have to put together. "Look I appreciate your help, but I've got a lot of work to do. So, you can either come in and listen to my story while I put together my baby's crib together, or you stand in the hallway judging me."

She stares at me for what feels like forever. "My name's Carla."

For three hours I talk and tell her the story as I put together Aaron's crib and stroller. I had to restart to stroller because I put the wheels on backwards but aside from that, everything is going smoothly. I tell her everything, from Thomas to the Others. Carla watches me intently, and providing very little help. We stop only for a few minutes to put a diaper on Aaron, which turns out is a lot more difficult then I thought it would be. I finish my story just as I finish putting together the playpen and sticking Aaron in it.

She sits quietly. She looks down at Aaron at me and back at the DriveSHAFT ring. "I don't believe about 95 of your story." She says flatly.

Of course she doesn't. Until a few minutes ago, I had never said it aloud. I don't even believe the story, and I lived it.

She grins slightly, "But I do believe the imaginary peanut butter part. So if I think that part is true, then other parts of the story must be true." She picks up a teddy bear and puts it in the playpen with Aaron. "I went to the memorial service for Oceanic flight 815. They showed the surveillance footage of each person walking into the plane. I cried when I saw Charlie. He might have been a druggie, but he was a good man, and it killed me to think that no one was there to support him, to help him when he needed it. I few minutes later, a very young pregnant woman walked onto the plane. There was an older woman named Helen sitting next to me, she had been crying when a man who was in a wheelchair was carried onto the plane. Anyway, she commented on the pregnant woman walking to the plane; something about like she was too close to giving birth to be flying. Why would the airline let her fly? I shrugged, because I didn't know. I remember feeling really sorry for this young girl, because it wasn't just her life but her baby's life that was lost. Helen said, 'You need hope and faith, people survive plane crashes all the time.' I didn't have the heart to tell her no." Carla pushes her hair out of her eyes, "You know I really shouldn't believe any of your story. But I believe the part about the imagery peanut butter and I believe you love Charlie. He helped me out a lot, I owe him everything. So if there is anything I can help you with, just let me know, I live across the hall."

Her story touches me, it really does, but I've got more things on my mind then just ancient history. "I need a doctor. Aaron hasn't had any shots. I don't know a lot about parenting, but I pretty sure he needs to see a doctor."

"Well if your story is true, you don't have any identification and you've entered this country illegally." She laughs a little at the irony of the situation the shakes it off. "I know a clinic you can go to. They don't ask any questions. I would refrain from telling people your story. They might think you're insane." She stands up, "Of course, falling in love with Charlie Pace might be the smartest thing you've ever done."

For the first time since I arrived, I have hope.

Of course that doesn't last long. Aaron and I spend nearly ten hours in waiting in the free clinic. For the one of the wealthiest counties on Earth I don't think I've ever seen such poverty. I shutter to think I could be just a few steps away from this.

Aaron pulls at his shirt and fusses with his socks, pulling them off and crying whenever I put them on. He isn't adjusting well to clothes. I dig through the baby bag and pull out a binky, hoping that it might distract him and keep everyone from giving me death glares. He willing accepts it and instantly stops crying. My God this thing is magic.

As the doctor examines Aaron, she asks me questions I have a hard time answering. I ask her some questions about his behaviors, his gooey slobber. The doctor smiles at me, "he's teething, wedmore time he will stop."

"Excuse me, did you just say, 'Wedmore'?" Why do I know that name?

"I said, 'with more'. Well Ms.…" He waits for me to say my name.

"Pace. Claire Pace." I just wanted to try the name out.

"Ms. Pace you have a very healthy boy." The doctor smiles at me and I'm glowing. The Other's didn't hurt Aaron, he's safe. And someone just called me Ms. Pace, wow that's kinda cool.

Nothing could kill my good mood. I smile down at my son. When I hear someone call out, "Dad, look there she is!" I know that voice. I haven't heard it a while but I know it.

Walt! It's Walt! He comes running up me. He smiles brightly at me and then looks down at Aaron. "Wow he's gotten so big. He looks different with clothes on." Walt laughs to himself.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with my jaw agape.

"He knew you were going to be here." Michael comes up behind me. I stomach turns and rage charges my actions.

"Yes, but why are YOU here. What didn't you have any more people to betray?" I snip.

Michael sighs, "Look, I'm not asking you to forgive me but out of everyone, surely you understand, I had to so this for my son."

"I would never betray and abandon my friends in order to do so." Ha-ha! Beat that.

"Sure you did, you got off the island didn't you? What have you done to get the other people off?"

"I needed to take care of Aaron…"

"But all those people are still on the island and you're about to walk into a Starbuck's. Do you think Hurley, Jack, or Charlie has that sort of luxury? Nope."

Ouch, it feels like he's stabbed me in the stomach. "What do you want, Michael?"

"I want to move on. I need to live my life without the ghost of all the people on Oceanic flight 815. I want you to look for a solution now." He pulls his backpack off of his shoulder and holds out files.

"What's that?"

"I've been doing as much research as I could. On Oceanic, Hanso Corporation, DHARMA, even the other passages. I'll give this to you, for a fee."

Figures. He wants money. I roll my eyes.

Walter stands up and stares me directly in my eyes. God he's gotten so old. "Claire, please don't be mad at my dad. There's nothing else he can do. Its up to you now. You need to find the Key, then the Lucky Penny. Only then can you bring Charlie and everyone else home. Its up to you to reunite the family."

Man he's a creepy kid.

"Fine how much do you want for it?"

"Ten thousand." He says flatly.

"Ha! Who do you think I am?" I laugh.

"I think Charlie had a large sum of money, and he left it all to you."

I frown, "Well, I don't have that kind of money with me."

"I'll take what you have. I just need to start over again. I want to try a small Midwest town. You understand don't you?" Michael pleads.

I sigh and gave him the three thousand dollars I am carrying. I was planning on going shopping for clothes, food, plates, and towels but since it took so much longer then I expected in the clinic I give up the money.
Michael smiles at me and disappears out of my life forever.

I spend nearly a month sifting through all the data Michael left me. It would have gone faster but Aaron has starting teething and he cries most of the time. While on one side I know its his gums hurting, apart of me thinks he misses Charlie. I miss him so much, sometimes it out be impossible to get out of bed if it weren't for Aaron. Thankfully Carla visits almost every day to cheer me up. The larger problem is that the information Michael obtained is incredibly depressing.

1) Oceanic Air is own by the Hanso Foundation who happens to be funding the DHARMA Initiative.

2) Some crazy girl named Rachel Blake thinks the Hanso Foundation is going to kill 30 of the population… lovely.

3) It was costing Oceanic Air nearly 5 million dollars a day to search for the Flight 815 and as soon as 90 of the passengers' families signed the death certificates as well as a stipend of $150,000 for compensation, Oceanic stopped the search.

4) My mom sighed the death certificate.

5) Technically I'm dead. Claire Littleton is dead… That was quite a bombshell and it held up the investigation for a while. After Carla pulled me out of fetal position on the ground, she send me to a guy she knew to get an "paper work" So I am an American…sort of, and my new name is Claire Maria Pace. I smile every time I say it.

6) Oh the security system at Sydney airport leaves a lot to be desired. According to the Michael's file many people an "interesting past"

- Mr. Eko was a Warlord

-Jin was a hit man

-Sawyer was a con man (Not surprising) and pulled a hit in Australia

-John was paralyzed

-Hurley's a millionaire

-Rose has cancer

-Kate blew up her dad, has been married and drugged her husband and has been on the run for years.

-Oh and they let Charlie enter the plane with heroin.

7) Penelope Wedmore is now on the board of directors for the Hanso cooperation, after her father passed away. --- I still can't figure out why that name sounds familiar.

8) Liam was the only one who did not sign the death certificate.

9) Charlie had bought a huge amount of stock in Oceanic and sold it just before coming to LA.

10) NBC is making an made for TV movie… I'm going to be played by Janel Moloney she plays Donna on the West Wing; I'm not that old!

All in all the information is depressing and one long dead end. This was the worst three thousand dollars I've ever spent.

I shut the files for the night; I've got a headache trying to find a connection or a pattern. I can see why Michael gave up. Aaron is giggling in his playpen. I smile down at him and thank God for the only shred of joy in my life. Aaron throws one the many plastic balls he tries to chew on out of his playpen. He looks surprised that it went away. His face starts to squish up and turn red. I raise myself from the chair, "Don't worry Mummy will get it for you."

I head into the bedroom and search the ground for it. On my hands and knees I find it under the bed. It would have rolled back farther but something stopped it. I retrieve the ball and the other object. I threw the ball back into the playpen, careful not to hit Aaron with it. I look down at the object in my hand. It's a DVD… its called, Naughty Undergrad: The Bi Years. Oh my god! Its porn! I drop it on the ground. Oh yuck.

Well Charlie's parting words to me was that he had porn. I just didn't go out of my way to find it. He really keeps it under his bed. How cliché. I'm about to kick it back under the bed, when I see it opened up. Well the DVD could be loose. I pick it up to shut it and kick it back to its shameful home. A piece of paper falls out. Strange, it looks like a bank statement. WOW that's a lot of money. Charlie have you been holding out on me? I look at the name on statement Joseph Mittlewerk. Who the hell is that? And why the hell is his bank statement in Charlie's porn stash?

My last days with Charlie start to flood my brain and I find myself under his bed tiring though his porn. All of them have bank statements, stock receipts for sales and buys, and a few of them have his tax statements. When I get to the DVD called "Four Legged Lovers" besides being highly grossed out, I open the case. There's no DVD, no paperwork. But there is a key.

My God Charlie, who are you?