Eddie hated waking up in hospitals. And the fact that he had enough experience doing it to be able to identify it immediately after waking was probably why. But the combination of sounds, smells, feel, and bright lights were a dead giveaway, no matter how bad his injury was. Even when his brain couldn't remember what got him to that point, it knew that he was in a hospital. And hospital equalled bad.

But there was also something else that he could identify, no matter what was going on. And it was something that helped ease the tension in his chest. The warm hand that held his own was one that he'd be able to pick out in a crowd of millions. It belonged to someone he knew he could trust with his life.

"Buck," Eddie murmured, lightly squeezing the warm palm that was connected to his.

"Eddie! Are you awake?" Buck asked quickly, squeezing him back. Eddie hummed in response, appreciating this moment before the reality of what was wrong with him could ruin it. He wasn't feeling any pain right now, probably thanks to drugs, but acknowledging the existence of an injury would lead to the aches making themselves known.

"Dad?" Now he was awake. Eddie's eyes snapped open and he sought out the reason he fought tooth and nail to make it home every night.

"Christopher," Eddie breathed out, taking in the sight of his son sitting in his best friend's lap. He ran a critical eye over the both of them, making sure they weren't hiding anything from him. Eddie wouldn't be able to handle it if they were hurt in any way. Not while he wasn't able to take care of them fully.

"Are you okay?" Christopher asked hesitantly, snuggling closer to Buck for comfort. Once again, Eddie couldn't believe how lucky he was to have someone who cared so deeply about his son and was a safe place for him when Eddie couldn't be there. He needed to remember to tell Buck how much he was appreciated more often. Buck was the type to downplay things when it came to him, but Eddie wouldn't let him get away with it anymore.

"Of course I am," Eddie assured him, flicking his eyes up quickly to Buck's. He got a slight nod in response, so Eddie felt confident enough that he wasn't lying to his son. And the fact that he was in a regular room, not in the ICU, helped him figure that his prognosis wasn't too dire. From what he could remember of what happened, he was lucky that was the case.

"You don't look okay," Christopher said sadly. Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. They'd gone through stuff like this so many times in Christopher's short life. Would Eddie's words even mean anything to him anymore? No matter how many times Eddie said he was okay, he kept ending up back in the hospital, decidedly not okay. This wasn't fair to his son.

"Your dad may be a little banged up at the moment, but he's never met a challenge he couldn't beat. And that's because he has you to come home to," Buck said confidently, squeezing Christopher tighter.

"I wish he'd never get hurt at all. That neither of you would," Christopher sniffled. Eddie felt his own eyes welling up with tears and he bit the inside of his cheek to try to will them away.

"Me too. But we've got each other."

"You've got Taylor now."

"Hey, listen to me," Buck said seriously, tipping Christopher's chin up with his finger so they were looking eye to eye. "There is no one who can take your place in my life. Not Taylor, not anyone."

"Are you sure?"

"Not even your dad could take that place. It is distinctly Chris shaped," Buck promised.

"Alright," Christopher sighed, resting his head on Buck's shoulder again. That was the reason Eddie chose Buck to have Chris if anything happened to him. He believed with his whole being that Buck would do right by his son, no matter the circumstance. Even during the drama of the lawsuit and everything that happened after. Eddie knew that if he reached out because Chris needed him, Buck would've dropped everything.

They sat for a little while after that, with Buck leading most of the conversation. Chris would reply to things here and there and Eddie would hum or grunt occasionally, but that was it. Eddie didn't have the energy to participate beyond keeping his eyes open at the moment. And he was afraid that if he did start speaking, things he didn't want to say in front of Chris would start spilling out.

"Glad to see you're awake." Eddie turned his head toward the door, finding Bobby standing there with a relieved smile on his face.

"Hey Cap."

"Did you sneak back here?" Buck smirked, raising an eyebrow at their captain and friend.

"I had to check on you all. Who knows what kind of trouble you would find?" Bobby joked.

"We've got Chris to keep us in line," Buck grinned, nudging Chris with his elbow. Eddie tried to match his smile, but he could feel it wobbling around the edges. Chris had been in the house while all this happened. Eddie hadn't been able to protect his son. If Chris hadn't been upset and gone off to his room, this all could've ended up a lot different.

"Hey Chris, you want to come with me for a couple minutes? I think Hen and Chimney need your help finishing up that project you were doing earlier," Bobby suggested. Eddie was about to argue, since the thought of Chris being out of his sight felt like another knife to the gut, but he couldn't get a word out. He felt sweaty and like his throat was closing up. It had been a while since he'd had a panic attack, but Eddie was starting to recognize the symptoms. And it seemed like Bobby was as well. Chris definitely didn't need to see this.

"Yeah, get a little something extra from me," Buck said, digging out his wallet and slapping what looked like a bit too much money than was necessary into Christopher's hand. Eddie didn't know what they were talking about, but he couldn't focus on anything besides his impending breakdown. Christopher shot him a questioning look and Eddie barely mustered up what he hoped was a reassuring smile. It must've been good enough, since Christopher got up and went with Bobby without a fight. As soon as Eddie couldn't hear the sound of Christopher's crutches on the hospital floor, he broke.

"Buck," Eddie choked out, gasping on what little breath he could force into his lungs. It wasn't even the fact that he'd almost died again. It was that he'd almost left his son again. That his son had been in so much danger and Eddie was almost in a position to not be able to do anything about it. If there was one thing Eddie hated in this life, it was being powerless. Powerless to protect the people he cared about. Powerless to make the world a safer place. Powerless to shield his son from how ugly people could be.

"Hey, look at me," Buck said, squeezing Eddie's hand even tighter. Eddie wanted to latch onto Buck's voice, but it sounded so muffled and far away. Everything was slipping through his fingers and he couldn't stop it. But then there was a warm hand against the side of his neck and everything around him started getting the tiniest bit clearer.

"Buck."

"I need you to breathe with me, okay? Can you do that?" Buck asked soothingly, taking Eddie's hand and setting it on his chest. Eddie sucked in a shaky breath, trying to match Buck's rise and fall. He'd climbed onto the side of the bed, taking care not to disturb any of the machines. "You're doing so good. Just like that."

"Chris," Eddie moaned, shaking a little as his adrenaline dipped again. Having a child was one of the most fulfilling things in his life, but it also brought the most stress. Running into a burning building was nothing compared to the fear of not knowing if your kid was okay. Working in the skyscraper after the earthquake paled in comparison to what he felt when he couldn't get ahold of Christopher's school. And those few seconds after he'd run into Buck after the tsunami, when he thought Christopher was gone were the worst of his life. He couldn't even imagine how Buck felt searching for him for hours. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You don't want to do that. Throwing up with stitches in your abdomen doesn't sound like the best time. And the hospital would probably want to keep you here longer. Maybe even kick me out, thinking I'm stressing you out. Chim would never let me live that down," Buck babbled, never moving from his spot on the bed. Eddie let the sound and feel of his best friend ground him. "How about we just keep breathing instead? In and out." Eddie nodded in response, quelling down his urge to lose it completely. This really wasn't the right time to do it, if that time actually existed at all. The pull to shove everything away and say he was fine was still strong, no matter how many sessions with Frank he had under his belt. But there was some stock in waiting for an appropriate time to deal with things.

"Thanks," Eddie whispered as soon as he felt like he had a bit of control back. His emotions were still teetering on the edge of a razor, but he was used to that balancing act by now.

"You'd do the same for me," Buck replied, flashing him a reassuring smile. He was right about that. They'd spent long nights together at each other's homes, holding the other up when needed. Eddie after Buck's leg and Buck after Eddie's shoulder. There wasn't even a question that the other would be there anymore.

"Yeah," Eddie murmured, closing his eyes and taking another measured breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eddie's eyes snapped open at Buck's question and he felt his heart rate tick up again. "Not all of it. Just- did you know those guys? I don't understand what happened."

"Oh," Eddie mumbled, nodding his head as he got into his professional mode. Getting into the factual details instead of the emotions helped him separate himself a bit from what happened. "Remember the pile up a while back?"

"Which one?"

"Right," Eddie huffed. They'd dealt with their fair share and encountered a lot of different kinds of people, but it didn't usually follow them home. "It doesn't really matter which one. But there was this group of guys and they were hassling one of the other victims."

"And those were the guys who attacked you?" Buck growled, narrowing his eyes as he thought of what happened.

"I stepped in and I guess they didn't like that. Nothing happened, since Athena came over and they backed down. I guess they were looking for revenge."

"But how did they find where you live?"

"I didn't really get a chance to ask, though I doubt they'd tell me. Maybe they saw my name on my turnouts and tracked me from that?"

"Seems like a lot of work for a bruised ego. I'm sure Athena will figure it out, since I name dropped her to the uniforms on scene and she joined the case. I'm her favorite, so she'll work extra hard for my partner."]

"Is that so?" Eddie smirked, feeling the tightness in his chest ease just a little bit more. He and Christopher had a support system surrounding them that he couldn't have even dreamed of. They were so lucky to have people who would drop everything to help them.

"Chris isn't the only one with a permanent space in my life."

"He's not?"

"Well, there is one for Maddie. And now Jee-Yun. They are family, so of course."

"Of course," Eddie agreed.

"Bobby's got one, since he's been there for me so much."

"That it?"

"There might be another one that I'm forgetting," Buck teased, furrowing his brow in exaggeration.

"Chimney."

"Maybe."

"Hen."

"Perhaps."

"Taylor?"

"Well-"

"Am I interrupting something here?"