Chapter 25: From Ripples to Tsunamis

Shelby slowly trudges up the stairs. She'd given her daughter a couple minutes alone to calm down, but they really need to finish this talk. She's surprised to discover that Rachel's door is open. Normally she shuts it when she's upset. The fact that she left it open means she was either so upset that she forgot to shut the door or she's so desperate for comfort that she intentionally left it open to welcome her in. She hopes it's the latter. Rachel is crying softly into her pillow. Shelby sits beside her and rubs her back. Rachel scoots away, out of reach, and keeps her back to her. The mother sighs and drops her hand on the empty space she used to occupy.

"I'm sorry, Rachel." When there's no response, she goes on. "I didn't mean it, I was just upset. I should have waited until I was calmer before discussing this with you."

"You said it was stupid." She sniffles. "I made it to make you feel better, but you said it wouldn't."

Shelby clenches her hand in her lap. "Honey, it was a very sweet gesture. Maybe, if I'd been prepared for it it might have been comforting. But I was not prepared to see that. And watching it and thinking about your current health…it shook me. It scared me."

Rachel rolls over to look at her, but stays out of reach. The vulnerability in her eyes makes her appear closer to seven than seventeen. "Do you think it would have helped? If I really had died and you'd been prepared to see it?"

An innocent question with a complicated answer. Shelby swallows hard. She wants to be honest without hurting her more. "Maybe. If I'd had time to grieve and had known what to expect, then yes, I think so. Probably. It was very sweet of you to think to make that video for me, Rachel. I think…..eventually…I would have been very happy to have a video of you telling me you love me. Eventually. Not right away. No matter how sweet or well meaning it was, the first couple times I watched it would probably always have been painful."

"Why?"

"Honey, do you have any idea how painful it is for a parent to lose their child? It will always hurt. Always. Even when they learn to move on, there's a part of them that still hurts and they will always miss their child. That is a wound that never fully heals."

Rachel shifts on the bed, sitting up a little more. "So wouldn't having a video of their child saying they love them be comforting?"

The innocence of youth. "Eventually. Not right away. Not while it's still too fresh. Later, yes."

Her daughter's eyes search hers for a minute before she nods. "Okay. I think I understand."

"I'm sorry I upset you."

"I'm sorry you saw the video."

"I'm not. I mean, I'm not happy I wasn't prepared for it, but I'm glad I saw it. We need to talk about it." She eyes her kid, taking in her paleness. "Are you up for it? I saw the blood on your shirt earlier."

Rachel nods. "I had a nosebleed but it wasn't bad. I did start to get a headache and I was feeling tired, so I asked Kurt to take me home."

Shelby grabs the ever-present bottle of ibuprofen from the nightstand drawer and hands two pills and a bottle of water to her child. "We need to talk. But if you're not up for it, let me know."

"If I say I'm too tired and just want to nap, can we skip this talk and just pretend we had it?"

Shelby smiles slightly. "You're not getting out of this. We're discussing it. Either now or later."

"Fine." Rachel grumps.

Mother and daughter shift to make themselves more comfortable for the talk. "I want to start with the comment you made in the video about being a defective kid. You are not a defective kid."

Rachel looks at her in disbelief. "Mom, I'm sick. Literally something is defective with my body because it's not producing enough blood cells."

"I know that, but you're not defective. You're a child who happens to be sick at the moment. I'd rather not hear you refer to yourself as defective."

She shrugs. "Fine."

"There is something I've been telling you all along that you brought up in the video. You clearly know it, but I don't think you fully believe it so I'm repeating it." Shelby takes her hands and looks her in the eye. "Our lives have been tough. Things have been very stressful and challenging at times. But you, my darling girl, are absolutely worth all of it. I'd do anything to get to have you in my life."

"I know that."

"You say it, but I don't think you fully believe it."

"I know you love me and say it's worth the stress, but things have been really bad at times. I've brought you a lot of pain and stress." She says awkwardly.

Shelby shakes her head. "See? You don't understand it. You, Rachel, are worth all of that stress. I'm happy to go through it because it means I get to have you in my life. I'm not happy you have to go through the things you've gone through and are going through, but I'm very happy that I get to go through them with you. I want to be here for you. With you. Having you in my life brings me so much more joy and love than any pain or suffering. The bad times could never take away from all the good times. It will always be worth it."

Rachel stares down at her bedspread. Shelby can see her throat tighten as she swallows. She gives her a moment to mull it over. Finally, she looks up with wet eyes.

"You're completely sure?" She asks quietly.

Screw giving her space. Shelby pulls her child into a tight embrace. "Absolutely. No doubts."

Rachel buries her head in Shelby's neck and hugs her tight. Shelby rubs her back and rocks her until they're both calmer.

"I always believed it, Mom. Really. I've just felt really guilty for bringing—"

"Well don't. That's silly." She sits her up so she can look her in the eye. "The majority of the stress we've gone through together has not been your fault. So there is no reason for you to feel guilty."

"Majority?"

"Well, you would cause me stress when you'd hide or lie about symptoms or how you were feeling. Whenever I thought you weren't putting your health first you caused me some stress. I was a little stressed the times you lied about going to parties. So basically, when you'd lie you'd cause me some stress. But the majority of it comes from you being sick and that is not your fault. At all. You can't help being sick. And I know you're doing everything you can to get better." Rachel drops her gaze and twists the hem of her shirt. "So you have no reason to feel guilty for that. The drama with your father, as you put it, was also not your fault. It was his. Not yours. Okay?"

Rachel nods and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. Shelby isn't sure why she's still not looking at her. Wanting to make sure she understands, she gently grasps Rachel's chin and raises her head until they're eye to eye.

"You are not to feel guilty for things out of your control. Especially any stress you think I'm feeling. Not only is it not your fault, but I'm a strong adult. I can handle it. I want to handle it to be with you. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. You just keep being honest with me and taking your medicine and going to treatments and you'll be helping me feel better. Let me help you feel better. That's my job and I'm very happy to do it."

"Okay."

"Now there are some other things you said in the video that I think would be best for us to discuss with Renee. But there is one more thing that needs to be addressed right now."

"The whole 'being willing to die' thing."

"Right."

"Can I start?"

"Of course. Go ahead."

Rachel sits cross legged in front of her. "I want to live. I don't want anyone, especially you, to ever think otherwise. I do not want to die. When I made that video I was stage four, dying, suffering, and scared. At that point, I was under the impression I only had about a month left to live. I was upset about dying, but I was looking forward to not being in pain anymore. I was looking forward to not suffering anymore. There was an end in sight and that was a relief, even if it wasn't the ending I wanted. I made the video because I didn't want you to spend the rest of your life knowing how upset I was about dying young."

"You were focusing on the one aspect of it that you were okay with."

"Yeah, I guess. When I relapsed, I was upset and scared. And angry. Finding out my odds of surviving are lower, after nearly dying last time despite having better odds, and then discovering I had Danton's again….I didn't have the words to describe the fear and hopelessness I was feeling."

"I remember. Even though I understood it, it scared me that you went silent for a couple days." Finding out she was contemplating suicide was even more frightening, but they'll get to that.

"All I could think about was how bad it got last time. The pain, the fear, the stress…..all of it. I thought….if I was going to have to go through all of that again just to die anyway, then why drag it out? Why make myself and my loved ones suffer for who knows how long just to die anyway?" Rachel's voice gets softer, almost hesitant. "If….if I knew without a doubt that I was going to die at the end of this and not survive…..I'd be having a very different conversation with you right now."

Shelby swallows hard and blinks to clear her vision. Rachel moves closer and plays with her fingers. She kindly gives Shelby a moment to collect herself. She seems to realize how hard this conversation is on the mother.

"But you, Finn, and Kurt helped me accept that there is no guarantee. I could live. And that even if I do die, you guys would rather I keep fighting until the end, no matter how stressful it is for you."

"But do you want to keep fighting? That's what I need to know."

"Honestly? Yes. As long as I know that I'm not going through it alone, that I have you guys with me, and that I'm not causing you all too much stress, then I want to keep fighting. Last time I had a last minute miracle and defied expectations. I could do that again."

Shelby's smile is shaky. "Yes, you absolutely can. Honey, I need you to stop worrying about the stress your situation puts on others. If there's anyone who doesn't want to or can't handle it, they'll step back. Stop worrying about us. Please. Let us worry about you."

"But I don't want you to worry!"

"That is an inevitability. You are my child. I love you. I'm going to worry. Being sick multiplies that worry, but that is out of our control. You worry about us, right?"

"Right."

"Because you love us. It goes both ways, princess. That's life. That's love. We take the good with the bad. And we do it happily for the people we love. Our worries happen to be bigger than most people's, but it doesn't change anything."

Rachel brushes away a tear. "It's hard not to worry when I know how hard this is for you."

Shelby pulls her against her for a cuddle. "I'm going to worry. We all are. Even after you're in remission again, I'm still going to worry about you. It's a mother's occupational hazard. You need to accept that and trust that I and everyone else who loves you are strong enough to handle it. And we're more than willing to handle it. I get that this isn't something you're going to be able to let go of this easily. We'll discuss it with Renee."

"Okay." She mumbles. She's clearly tiring. Shelby kisses her head. "So you have no more thoughts about wanting to end things quickly? You don't want to…..give up."

"I'm not going to give up, Mom. I'm not thinking about ending things."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I'll never give up. No matter what. I want to live and that means fighting and facing the hard times, so I will. I think…I think I mostly wanted to make sure that the people who love me really are willing to deal with all of the stress. Because I think I would give up if I was alone."

"Then it's a good thing you're never alone. Ever."

"A little alone time is a good thing. Just saying."

"Is that a hint that you'd like some space?" She grins slightly.

"Maybe later." She shifts so her head is resting on Shelby's chest.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby girl. You're stuck with me."

"Good."

"So. Just to recap…..we love you so much that we're happy to help you through this difficult time. Stress and all. And you love us so much that you're going to keep fighting and not give up. Are we agreed?"

"Agreed. I promise. I'm in it for the long haul. I'm not looking for a fast death. Mom? As long as I'm fighting to live, can I do it my way?"

Shelby frowns. The nervous look in her daughter's eyes is making her uncomfortable and she's not sure why. Probably because she doesn't understand what she's asking. "What do you mean?"

"Like, I'll do whatever I can to get better and live a long life, but….my way."

"But what is your way?"

"I don't know! I'm just…...forget it."

"No, I really want to know. What do you mean? What is your way of fighting?"

Rachel is quiet for a moment. "If I have a choice of how to get better or something, can it be my choice?"

"You mean if Dr. Reed gives us a choice of types of treatment?"

"I guess. Sort of."

Shelby is still lost, but it's been an exhausting and emotionally charged afternoon. She's tired and Rachel looks like she's about to fall asleep. Now probably isn't the best time to continue this conversation. She got what she needed from it. Rachel wants to live and is willing to keep fighting. She's not thinking about a fast death.

"Sure."

Rachel smiles. "Thank you."

She strokes Rachel's hair, still uncertain what exactly she just agreed to, but glad she made her daughter happy. "You look ready for a nap, sweetheart."

"Yeah."

"So sleep."

"Will you stay?"

"Always."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, princess."

They lay there quietly. It's not long before Rachel falls asleep. Shelby yawns. She thinks over their discussion and lets her heart settle. The emotional toll of the day is affecting her physically. Her eyes being to droop. Movement by the door pulls her attention. Scott is leaning against the door jam.

"Hey." He whispers. "Everything okay?"

She smiles softly. "Yeah. I'll tell you later."

Scott comes closer and lays a blanket over both of them. He kisses Shelby. "Babe, you look exhausted. Why don't you join her in a nap and I'll make dinner? I'll wake you both when it's done."

"You're amazing."

He grins. "I must have soaked up some of your amazingness from living here."

She chuckles. "You corny sap. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Contentedness settles over her. Her child is sleeping peacefully in her arms. Her fiancé is downstairs cooking dinner for them. She is learning to find peace in the little things and the small moments. She prays for more of them.

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After dinner the adults sit down with Rachel to discuss her bucket list. She'd thought they were done with serious talks for the day, but apparently not. They clear the table then retake their seats.

"We've been looking over your list and discussing what we can make happen, when."

Rachels shifts awkwardly in her seat. "I wasn't handing it over as something I'm expecting you to make happen. They're things I'd be excited to do, but I'd be fine not doing them, too. We don't have to—"

"We want to. But first, you're not getting a tattoo until you're 18."

"It'd be small and nowhere obvious! I'd want it easily hidden when I'm on stage."

The adults chuckle. "That's good to know, but still, no. If you really want one after you turn 18, that's up to you. I'd think about it for a while first if I were you. It's a lifelong commitment; once you get it, you have it for life."

"I know what a tattoo is." Rachel rolls her eyes. "I know they're permanent. Unless you get laser surgery to have it removed."

"Moving on, I wanted to talk about your wish to….go skydiving."

Rachel laughs. "Kurt and I made a bet about that."

Her mom raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Go on, I want to see if I win or not. What about me wanting to skydive?"

"Well, unfortunately, you can't."

Rachel blinks. "Can't? Or you won't let me?"

"Regardless of what I want, you honestly can't do it, I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"Well for starters, you have to be 18. But the other reason is you have to be in good physical health to do it."

"Oh. I didn't know that. It makes sense, though."

"If you really want to go skydiving, you're going to have to wait until you're in remission and at least 18. I'd really rather you choose not to do it, even then."

Rachel grins. "So you're not happy about it, but you wouldn't stop me?"

"Once you're 18, I legally can't stop you."

"So you'll try to convince me not to, but not actually stop me."

"Absolutely." Her mom agrees with a grin.

"Yes! I win!" She laughs. "Alright, is that the only 'no'?"

"There are a few that we just can't do until you're better. Like going on a scenic bike ride in Switzerland. Even seeing a castle unless you look from a distance."

"Why?" That one doesn't make much sense to her.

"Because most castles aren't in areas that are easily accessible by emergency vehicles. Let's say we go explore a castle and you have an attack. Even a moderate attack could be dangerous. God forbid you end up needing a hospital, it might be hard to get you out or for emergency personnel to get in to you."

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that."

Scott clears his throat. "Some things are just time issues. There are some small waterfalls right here in Ohio."

"I know. When I went camping with my friends over the summer there were a few waterfalls, but we weren't able to get close enough to swim near them."

"There are ones we could easily get to, but we'd want to wait for the weather to warm up first. There are also waterfalls in the Grand Canyon, but that's another thing. If we go while you're still sick, we'd do a helicopter tour of the canyon, meaning we wouldn't be down inside it and wouldn't be able to swim. If we wait until you're in remission again, we could plan a Grand Canyon trip where we actually hike down into the canyon for a few days. That way, we could knock two things off your list on one trip."

"That'd be neat." She likes the idea of waiting, but she's a little nervous. If she doesn't get better, she's missing out on seeing the Grand Canyon at all.

"If we go to a waterfall while you're sick, it'd have to be warmer and it'd have to be a short hike in and out. Just in case." Her mom points out. "We don't have anything on your list planned just yet, but we wanted you to know that we've been discussing it and we'll do what we can."

"That's fine."

"But we do need to ask you something before we start planning." Scott says seriously. He looks to her mom, who takes over.

"I just need you to verify something for me. For my own peace of mind."

"Sure. What?"

"If we start helping you cross items off your list, will you still be motivated to fight?"

Rachel can feel her brow furrow in her confusion. "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

Her mom smiles. "I just needed to be sure. Now, do you want to help plan things or do you want to be surprised?"

"Since everything on the list are things I really want to do, I guess I'd be fine with being surprised."

"Okay. And Rachel, if we tell you about our plan and you've changed your mind or don't feel up to it or don't like it, you need to tell us."

"I will." If they go through the trouble of arranging a fun trip for her, she is definitely not asking them to skip it and undo their hard work. But it feels like a simple white lie. Then again, if she doesn't feel up to a trip, she'd probably have to speak up. So that promise she'll keep.

"You can see the Northern Lights from Alaska, so it'd make sense to make a trip to do the dogsledding and see the Northern lights at the same time. That might be something we can schedule for August."

"August? Really?"

"Really. We looked into it. You can go dogsledding in the summer, on snow, it'd just mean taking a helicopter ride up to a higher elevation where there's snow. And Alaska's Northern Lights season starts in August."

"That'd be amazing!"

"Great, we'll start planning that then."

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"The guys have a crazy idea and we want in." Santana informs her with no preamble the moment she walks through the door.

Rachel drops her bag and rolls her eyes. "Do you ever start with 'hello' or any form of greeting?"

"No, that's lame and a waste of time."

"Fine. What crazy idea have the boys concocted now?"

She plops on the couch next to her friend. The plan is for the girls to have a girls day and a sleepover at Santana's. Kurt was supposed to join but has a cold, so he's keeping his distance. Her brother had been irritable about getting sick over break and not during a normal school week. All Rachel had had to do was glare at him and he'd shut up. Glancing around the living room tells her she's the third to show up; Brittany and Quinn are already here. They're still waiting on Mercedes, Tina, and Sugar.

"They want to drive go karts, but they want to combine it with paintball."

"How can they get permission to do that?"

"Dunno how but they managed it. They're going tomorrow."

"Is it supposed to be a guys day, like today is supposed to be a girls day for us? It wouldn't be very nice to barge in on their day." Rachel points out.

"Who cares about that? Do you want to join in or not?"

Rachel looks over at Brittany and Quinn, who are obviously onboard, then nods. "Sure. At the very least it should be amusing to watch."

"Watch? Oh, you can't participate."

She shrugs, trying to brush off the feeling of being left out. "It'd be dangerous if I got an attack while driving, even a go kart."

"But you'd be happy to watch us?" Brittany asks hopefully.

"Yeah," she grins, "it'd be fun to watch. I can take pictures!"

Thrilled, Santana squeezes Rachel tight. Rachel doesn't say a word about the bruises hurting and is glad she managed to keep smiling to hide the pain. Once all of the Glee girls arrive and confirm they'll attend the boy's event the next day, they start their fun night. They give each other manicures and pedicures. They even painted Yero's nails, to much laughter. The good boy sat calmly let them paint his nails, though he did try to lick Rachel's hand while she was working on one of his front paws. Mostly they watched movies, listened to music, and gossiped, but they played a few games as well. When Rachel's headache started, she didn't make a big deal but she also didn't hide it. She casually took some meds and without any commenting on it her friends started talking a little quieter and lowered the volume of the music.

She wasn't surprised to be the first to fall asleep, but she was surprised to wake up during the night to find Santana awake and looking out the window while petting Yero. She debates rolling over and going back to sleep, and she is very tired, but concern for her friend overrides her exhaustion. She crawls out from her sleeping bag and steps over Tina. She sits so that Yero is between them but moves her feet so that they're in Santana's lap. Santana smiles slightly.

"Are you okay, San?" She whispers, mindful of their sleeping friends.

"Yeah, I'm just….thinking. Which isn't fun."

"It can be fun sometimes. What are you thinking about that isn't fun?"

"The future."

"You mean after graduation?"

Santana gives her an odd look that she can't read. "Yeah. That's part of it. I still don't know what I want to do."

"You're good at a lot of things. Singing, dancing, cheerleading, taking charge, telling things how they are, and that's just off the top of my head. Is there any career with those skills that you could see yourself doing?"

"No and it's driving me and my parents nuts. My dad always knew he wanted to be a doctor. My mom didn't like her job and was happy to quit to be a stay at home mom. But she still jumped into a career right after finishing school. Most of my friends, including you, know what they want to do or at least have a list of possibilities. I have no idea what I want to do and that scares me." She wipes away a tear.

"You still have time, San. You can take basic classes at a university until you decide what to major in. You can skip college and start working until you decide what to do. Maybe somewhere along the way you'll stumble upon your profession."

"Maybe. I do remember what you said about choosing something and changing it if I decide I don't like it. My parents basically said the same thing recently. I just don't want to pick something at random, you know?"

Rachel flounders for a way to cheer up her friend. "Until you find something, join us in New York. The city that never sleeps and has endless possibilities. Even if you don't find anything and move back home or somewhere else, you'll never be bored. Or alone."

Santana stares at her intently for a moment. Then she smiles and moves so she can pull Rachel into a hug. Rachel happily falls into it.

"Thanks, Rachel."

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Over a late breakfast the girls giggle about crashing the guy's big event. It amuses Rachel that none of them are worried about the guys being upset by this. Even if they groan and complain, they won't get mad or ask the girls to leave. They'll either ask them to just watch or invite them to join. While walking back to the table after putting her plate in the sink she's hit by a wave of dizziness. It's not bad, but it's strong enough to knock her off balance. Mrs. Lopez loops an arm around her waist and holds her steady. Rachel instinctively grabs onto her arm until it passes. Thankfully, other than a glance to make sure she's okay, the others continue their conversation uninterrupted. It ends fairly quickly and she retakes her seat next to Santana at the table. Dr. Lopez had been sitting at the island, leaving the table to the girls. He puts his coffee mug down on the counter and nudges his daughter until she rolls her eyes and vacates her seat. He doesn't say a word, make a big deal, or interrupt the conversation. However, he takes her hand and checks her pulse. She assumes it's all fine when he pats her hand before standing. Nothing else happens but he still checks her pulse again before letting her leave. Other than Tina teasing her for getting "extra attention", it's not commented on.

They join the boys at a facility in a wooded area. At least, it appeared completely wooded at first. The dense growth of trees surrounding the facility helps block the sounds of the loud motors. The actual facility is bigger than they'd realized. They have an indoor event area including laser tag, an arcade, indoor paintball, and indoor go karts. They also have two outdoor tracks and an outdoor paintball arena. However, beyond that is an open area for riding ATVs, dirt bikes, and other similar vehicles. They find the boys standing in a group with some of their football friends and a couple other guys they don't recognize. The groups combine and introductions are made. As usual, the one who gets the most attention is Fiyero. All of the kids, friends and strangers, are happy to pet him. One of the unknown guys kept leering at Santana so her fiery friend slipped an arm around Brittany's waist and pulled her close, making it clear they're a couple. Unfortunately, that did the opposite of getting him to stop ogling. Rachel missed his name when he was introduced but decides to mentally call him Sleaze Bag. Sleaze for short. She looks around and realizes she feels weird because Kurt is missing. She's not used to not having her brother around. With the whole group together, his absence is keenly felt.

"Hey, you alright?"

Rachel looks up into her boyfriend's eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a weird feeling." When his frown deepens and the friends standing closest to her suddenly go on alert, she realizes her mistake. "Not physically. I'm just not used to not having Kurt around. It's weird being all together without him here. I don't like it."

"Now you sort of know what last year was like for us." Mike tells her.

Rachel's mouth falls open slightly and she looks around, taking in everyone's expressions. They're in full agreement. Finn leans down to whisper in her ear.

"Except it was worse for us."

Feeling guilty even though she has no reason to, she silently swears to do everything she can to not be separated from her friends for long. She bites her lip, thinking about the blue pills she dropped down the bathroom sink that morning…..and every morning for the past several weeks. Maybe she should ask for more information about them. She shakes off her melancholy thoughts and follows the group. Puck's cousin is one of the managers and pulled some strings to let them do this.

"No headshots. Don't crash. Don't do anything that'll cause you or someone else to crash. Anything you damage outside of normal wear and tear you pay for. Stay out of the Cherry Blossom grove, we don't want the trees damaged. Stay in the open section. The trees with blue spray paint on them are your border. Got it? Good. Have fun. And Puck…..fuck this up and it'll never happen again."

Puck half heartedly swings at his cousin, who dodges it with a laugh. The group quickly determines who'll go first. The girls let the boys go first. It's only fair since it was their idea. Artie jokes that since he gets around by navigating something with wheels, he has a leg up on this. Rachel and the others laugh and cheer while watching the guys drive around on various ATVs while shooting one another with paintballs. Blaine, who is clearly missing his recently reunited boyfriend, spends most of his time with her, Tina, and Sam. The next round is girls only. Rachel is disappointed to stay out, but she keeps any hint of it off her face. Quinn struggles to participate with her broken arm, but even she manages it. Their game is nearly over when they pause it. Brittany drives her kart over to where Rachel is sitting between Blaine and Sam. She quickly climbs on the back and waves to the driver's seat.

"Hop in!"

"But I—"

"Not for long and just for a quick ride. We're losing anyway, so you won't be why we don't win. And if you get an attack, just take your foot off the pedal and I'll take over steering if necessary." Brittany smiles brightly at her, obviously eager to give her a chance to participate.

Despite her nerves, she is equally eager to live. This is why she stopped taking the pills, after all. To give herself less time being stuck home sick and more time out in the world, living. Enjoying and experiencing life. She's tired of missing out. With a grin and the sounds of encouragement from the boys bolstering her, she climbs in. There's no way she could do what Brittany's doing and stand on the back, holding on while someone else drives. There's far too much risk there and she's not sure she's physically strong enough. Not for long, anyway. She tires far too quickly. But as long as she doesn't get an attack, she can drive. Thinking about that, she frowns at the small space next to her in the kart.

"Yero!" Her dog leaps over the log he was sniffing around and scurries over to her. He hops in and squeezes in the small space next to her, partially on her lap. He'll alert her to an imminent attack.

Wind whips through her hair, sunlight shines down on her, Brittany's laughter fills her ears, and excitement bubbles inside her. She can feel her huge smile while driving around like a maniac, letting Brittany shoot one handed from behind her. Even though she didn't get to drive for long, it was thrilling. Rachel hugs Brittany tight, thanking her for giving her that opportunity. Half because she finds it funny and half because she's just so excited, Brittany kisses her soundly on the lips. Rachel pulls back with a laugh. Santana jokingly threatens Rachel to keep her hands off her girl. Sleaze Bag's grin turns her stomach and diminishes some of her amusement.

After everyone has had a turn, they form different teams to compete. In the one round, Finn had Rachel sit on his lap for the first couple minutes. He couldn't drive very well with her on his lap, but he did well enough. She couldn't shoot very well from this position, but she had fun anyway. Everyone was having fun despite Sleaze Bag's off color "jokes".

"C'mon, ladies, leave the hardware to the men. Go pick up a spatula or a makeup brush or something."

"Do you know what I could do to you with a makeup brush?" Sugar challenges. Mercedes slaps a hand over Sugar's mouth and whispers for her to stop egging the annoying guy on.

"Oh, please, please tell me. What are you gonna do to me?" He asks with a grin.

Rachel shudders in disgust. Sugar frowns, but doesn't seem to pick up on his tone. The girls have been disgusted from the start. The guys are getting more and more annoyed as time goes on. They're only tolerating him because he's a friend of Puck's cousin's. Rachel looks over the assortment of paintball guns lying on the picnic table.

"Careful, you might break a nail." Sleaze comments, seeing her looking.

"My nails are fine."

"Still, these are pretty powerful tools. Might be best if little girly girls like you stay back."

The lessons and trips to gun ranges with her grandfather come to mind. An idea tickles her brain. She picks up the closest paintball gun. "This is powerful? I don't know, it doesn't seem like much. How does it work?"

Purposely, Rachel holds it in a manner that implies extreme inexperience. Sleaze Bag laughs condescendingly at her. Rachel is careful to take aim while making it seem unintentional and like she has no idea what she's doing and pulls the trigger. Sleaze Bag shouts and drops to his knees, clutching his now green-paint-splattered crotch. The others laugh hysterically.

"Oops." Rachel shrugs innocently.

Sleaze glares at her, clearly feeling humiliated on top of being in pain, but doesn't say anything. It seems she was believably inexperienced. To be fair, she'd never touched a paintball gun before today. Later, after recovering from the incident, Sleaze saunters over to Brittany while she's looking at a dirt bike.

"Do you like a lot of power between your legs?"

Brittany cocks her head to the side. "I've never ridden one before."

Sleaze laughs. "Yeah, I bet not. I can fix that."

"You can teach me how to ride one?" She asks excitedly.

He lightly runs his fingers down her arm. "Yeah, I can do that."

Finn shoves the guy. "Back off."

"What? All we're doing is talking." Sleaze puts his hands up innocently.

"Well stop. It's not cool."

"But that's just it. It could be very cool if she's interested."

"Well she's not." Santana snaps.

Brittany looks around in confusion, just wanting to ride the dirt bike.

"C'mon, just let her give me a chance. You could even join us."

The fact that Santana glares at the guy but doesn't start attacking him (verbally or physically) shows her friends how uncomfortable she is. They've had enough. Sam punches Sleaze and the guy topples over. A brief scuffle occurs as the older guys hold back Sleaze and convince him it's not worth beating up high schoolers. The Glee guys form a barrier between Sleaze and the girls. The college aged guys thankfully decide to leave. The remaining Glee kids breathe a sigh of relief. The friends split up to do various activities that interest them. Rachel can feel herself tiring and sits quietly, watching her friends form pairs and small groups. Blaine sits next to her on the bench and wraps an arm around her. She happily leans into him.

"You alright? You seem tired."

"Yeah. Just tired, though."

"You wanna go home?"

She sighs. "Honestly, kind of. I don't want to leave and I don't want to miss out, but I also don't want to be out and about anymore."

"I get it. You've been here with us this whole time, though. We've been here for hours. And you had the sleepover with the girls yesterday. You've spent time with us. We've had fun. It's okay to go home. I actually think I'm going to ask for a ride home soon. So if you want, we can go home together."

"Maybe in a bit. I think I'm going to ask Finn to take a stroll through the cherry blossoms with me first."

"That sounds romantic."

"I thought so." She smiles.

"I'll go get him for you." Blaine kisses her cheek and takes off to grab Finn. A brief conversation later and Finn is ditching his friends to join her for a romantic stroll through the cherry blossoms.

"Thanks, Finn. I know you'd rather be playing paintball or something with your friends."

"Not rather, but also. I'm happy to do both. I already got to play some cool games with them and with you. Now I'll spend some quiet time with you. I'll hang out with them again later."

She tugs on his shirt, indicating she wants him to lean down. He does and she kisses him. He smiles widely and takes her arm. She leans on him slightly while they slowly stroll through the orchard. Yero trots along beside them. She inhales deeply, enjoying the pretty scent given off by the flowers. Looking up, the sun shines down through the pink flowers on the trees. A light breeze causes the branches to sway and blossoms to gently rain down on them. She giggles, smiling brightly. She looks at her boyfriend and finds him staring down at her with a soft smile. They stop walking and kiss for a while. Wrapped in his arms and kissing among the cherry blossoms is something she definitely would have put on her bucket list if it'd occurred to her before. Added and now checked off. She pulls back when she needs more air.

"So when you shot that guy in the dick, was that on purpose or was it really on accident like it looked? 'Cause it mostly seemed like an accident, but I know you. To me, it kind of looked like you meant to do that."

Rachel gives him a Cheshire Cat grin and doesn't answer. Finn laughs and she joins in. Hand in hand, they continue their walk. Yero finds a branch and carries it around.

"It's beautiful here."

"Yeah, it is." Finn agrees easily.

"Here, with the pretty trees and the pretty scents and the sunshine and no one around….this would be a romantic spot to make love."

Finn stops short. "Really? You'd want to…..here?"

She shrugs idly. "If we couldn't hear the motors of the go karts and knew no one would see or hear us, then yeah. And without Yero chaperoning."

Finn's mouth opens slightly and then he spins around, taking it all in. Before she can ask him what he's doing, he stops and nods. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

He grins. "Just keeping it in mind for future reference."

The couple turns around and starts the short trek back to the others. Rachel knows she needs to speak up and request a ride home. She really is tired. In fact, she's getting more tired by the moment. No. Not tired. Damn.

"Finn."

"Hm?"

"I'm going to faint." She suddenly sways, proving her point.

Finn sweeps her into his arms. "I've got you."

She didn't get to hear the end of his sentence. She was out cold by the second word. Her sense of hearing and smell returned before she fully woke up. She could still smell cherry blossoms and feel wind softly ruffling her hair. She could hear her friends talking and laughing. Rachel can tell she's leaning back against Finn, still in his arms. When she opens her eyes, she's right. Finn is leaning back against a cherry blossom tree and holding her against his chest. All around them are flowers that fell from the tree, cushioning the ground and filling the immediate area with their sweet scent. Her friends have reconvened around them and are chatting happily. Some are sitting against trees. Some are walking around or playing tag amongst the trees. Fiyero is playfully chasing Puck while Quinn encourages the pup to 'get him'. Laughter rings through the orchard. She decides this is the best thing to wake up to after passing out. Rachel sits up. Finn kisses her lightly, then pulls her against his side.

Seeing that she's awake, Brittany comes over and sits beside her. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Pretty tired, though. I'm not dizzy anymore. That came out of nowhere, but its gone now."

"Are you ready to go home?" Finn asks.

"Unfortunately, yes. This was a fun day, despite passing out. And this was an awesome thing to wake up to, by the way."

"Good." Brittany smiles brightly. "That was the point."

"Eventually." Quinn frowns. "We started out by arguing over whether to take you home while you were unconscious, take you to the hospital, or let you rest here."

"I'm glad it worked out like this." Rachel confirms. "It was a relaxing and joyful scene to wake up to."

"Once we decided you didn't need to go to the hospital, that's what we were aiming for." Sam tells her.

"But now I'm taking you home." Finn says firmly.

"Not that I don't want to go home, but I don't want to pull you away from your fun. I'll call my mom for a ride. You can stay here."

Finn frowns. "Are you sure? I'm happy to ta—"

"Not necessary." Blaine announces, walking up to them. "I already called my mom for a ride. She'll be here soon. We'll drop Rachel off at home on the way."

"Thanks, man." Finn fist bumps him.

Rachel sends a text to her mom, making sure she'll be home by the time Rachel gets there. She's honest and tells her mom that she fainted. After answering her mom's list of questions, the woman finally accepts that she's just tired. Despite this, her mom walks out to Mrs. Anderson's car when they pull into the driveway and insists on walking with her into the house. While the two moms are casually chatting, Rachel tries to head inside on her own. No such luck. Her mom loops an arm around her waist and keeps her against her side while talking. Rachel makes a face at Blaine, who laughs at her predicament. Yero gives Blaine a goodbye lick, which amuses all of them. Then the dog jumps out of the car and dashes around the yard as if he didn't just get to run around an orchard with a bunch of teens. The pup calms down and enters the house the moment he's called. Rachel decides it isn't worth fussing over her mother's overprotectiveness and happily rambles about the fun time she had with her friends.

"I'm glad you had fun, princess. I'm sorry you fainted."

Rachel shrugs. "It sucked, but Finn caught me. And it was nice waking up in a beautiful orchard surrounded by happy friends playing and talking."

"I bet. It sounds like something out of a dream or a movie."

"I guess it does." Rachel laughs.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shelby sighs, trying to push down her worry. Rachel is really struggling to wake up again today. She doesn't have to wake up by any particular time during break, but she should still wake up and take her meds. And eat something. Rachel's appetite is dwindling. Last time it wasn't a major concern until she hit stage three. Everything is happening faster this time and its scaring her. Rachel has an appointment in two weeks. Shelby has a list of questions and concerns for Dr. Reed. She finishes folding a pile of laundry and brings it to Rachel's room. She's relieved that her daughter is out of bed now. She just hates that its one in the afternoon and she only just got out of bed. She knows Rachel hates it too. Shelby places the clothes on the end of the bed and decides to ask her kid if she's going to want breakfast or lunch when she gets downstairs. It's late enough for lunch, but its her first meal of the day. Sometimes Rachel wants breakfast food as her first meal, no matter what time it is.

"Hey, Rach?" There's a quiet clatter. Shelby frowns in concern, but doesn't want to barge into the bathroom on her kid if she's fine. "Hun?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just dropped my pill bottle."

"Oh. Do you want breakfast or lunch? Scott is making brownies, but that's not a meal. It can be a snack later."

"Breakfast, please."

"Okay. Come down when you're ready."

Shelby sets a bowl of cereal out for her daughter. Rachel pours in the milk and is eating when they get a visitor. Clearly Kurt is feeling better and sniffle free, because he comes barging into their house. He stalks up to her and plants his hands on his hips.

"You let me down, Aunt Shelby!"

Shelby steps back in confusion. "What?"

Scott stops mixing the brownie batter to watch the scene.

"You were supposed to tell Rachel that there's no way in hell you'd let her go skydiving! Did you seriously tell her that you'd let her?!"

Rachel and Scott share a grin. Shelby crosses her arms. "Excuse me, young man. I told her I'd rather she not go skydiving and that she can't go any time soon."

"But didn't you tell her she only couldn't because she's not old enough and she needs to be healthy first?"

She tosses her hands up. "I don't want her to go skydiving, Kurt!"

"But you wouldn't stop her if she could!"

"No, not directly."

Everyone pauses and considers her words. Kurt grins in understanding. "You'd guilt her into not doing it."

She knows her responding grin confirms this, but can't help it.

"Mom!"

She shrugs. "What? You think I'd sit back quietly and not say anything if I found out you were planning on going skydiving?"

Shelby can practically see Rachel's mind racing. "But you wouldn't actually forbid it or actively stop me, right?"

"Why does….oh, you two had a bet. Didn't you say you won?"

"I did win. And he won't pay up until he's had a chance to confirm it with you. But now it sounds like he's trying to convince you to change your mind. Or be let off the hook on a technicality. Not happening, Kurt."

"She doesn't want you to do it and would guilt you into not doing it." Kurt argues.

"She'd try. But she wouldn't stop me."

Kurt groans and flops into a chair. "I can't believe you, Aunt Shelby. I was so sure."

Rachel shakes her head. "She'd never want me to do anything dangerous, but do you seriously think she'd stop me from doing something on my bucket list? Something I really want to do and am excited about? After everything I've been through?"

Kurt glares at her. "Not when you put it like that."

"Pay up."

"Fine."

When he doesn't move, the adults frown. "What's the payment?"

"An Auntie Anne's pretzel."

"That's it?"

"Kurt swore he'd never buy one again after the last pretzel he had from them made him breakout and stained his pants when part of his pretzel fell on his lap."

"What would he have gotten if he'd won?"

"I'd have had to buy him a new face wash."

The adults shake their heads in bewilderment. After Rachel finishes eating, she, Kurt, and Shelby head down into the basement. She's helping them prepare for the NYADA auditions. Both kids got the letters confirming they get to audition. Shelby is proud of both of them, but nervous as hell. Rachel needs to get better before Shelby will be willing to send her to New York.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel watches the needle slide into her vein. The nurse tapes it down and connect the IV bags. One of blood, one of her actual medication, and one of fluids to keep her hydrated. The heart monitor is already connected, and they drew some blood and checked her vitals, as always. Now the waiting begins. She hopes it won't be as bad as the last couple times. It seems like each treatment gets worse than the last. She's been trying to figure out how to phrase a question for Dr. Reed. She wants to ask him about the importance of the pills without letting on that she's not taking them, she's just not sure how. If not taking the pills is why everything seems worse lately, she'll go back to taking them. Maybe not every day, but often enough to make it not so hard on her. The point of not taking them was to make things easier on her, not harder. But she's aware that having this illness a second time means its expected that that things will be harder this time around. She's not sure what to think. Maybe not taking the pills isn't having any effect on her and its all what would be happening anyway. She bites her lip. A game boy is placed in her hands. Her mom is smiling at her.

"Why don't you distract yourself? I know you're worried about the side effects from this treatment being bad, but there's no point stressing about it."

Her mom is right. She is worried, but her mom doesn't know exactly why. Rachel is pretty sure her mom would kill her if she knew. At the very least she'd be upset. Wanting to appear calmer than she is, she smiles and nods.

"Okay."

Kurt and Blaine are on a date nearby. They're planning on joining her at her treatment when they finish their meal. She'd pointed out that sitting at the clinic watching her throw up or sleep isn't exactly good date material, but they'd waved her off. Sure enough, they show up about an hour after her treatment began. She's happy to put the game away. Her head is starting to hurt and her eyes were blurring a little from looking at the small screen. They talk about how well Mercedes is doing with her solo for Nationals. She really is rocking 'Try a Little Tenderness' and has been working hard. However, the more time she spends practicing it and the more compliments she receives, the less hard she's been working. Rachel finds it odd that she finds compliments as an excuse to stop working hard instead of motivation to work harder. They're debating how to gently bring it up to her.

Rachel feels weird but can't pinpoint how, so she doesn't say anything. She tells herself she's not hiding it, she's just not sure how to explain it so what's the point? Exhaustion makes her limbs feel heavy. That much she can describe, but it's pretty normal. Then she realizes what it is. Her limbs don't just feel heavy and sluggish, they feel like they're burning from the inside out. She can feel her blood rushing through her veins. Her eyes move to her heart monitor. The number seem higher than normal, but maybe that's just her imagination. Minutes tick by. She tries her best to focus on the conversation with the boys. Kurt is eyeing her oddly but isn't questioning her yet. Her mom and Scott are in the middle of their own conversation about their upcoming wedding. Her heart is thudding in her chest. The feeling of her blood rushing through her veins gets stronger. The room slowly spins.

"I feel weird." She can't keep quiet for another moment. This isn't normal.

The moment the words are out of her mouth, two things happen in rapid succession. Everyone immediately goes on high alert and her heart monitor beeps. All eyes jump to it. Her pulse is high. Too high. Scott hurries out to grab a nurse. Her mom takes her hand.

"Rachel? What's wrong?"

"My….I can feel my heart pounding. I can feel my blood rushing through my body. It's making my limbs feel too hot." She frowns when she realizes she's slurring, but she thinks she spoke clearly enough to be understood.

The monitor beeps again. The numbers continue to rise. 117. 120. 124. Her dizziness increases. Her chest feels wet. On the inside. It feels wet. That doesn't make any sense to her. The beeping gets faster. The numbers jump up. She can literally feel every thump of her racing heart. It's far too fast. 127. 128. 129. It shouldn't be that fast. Every breath becomes shorter than the last. The room swoops and she grips the hands holding hers with a gasp.

"You're alright, baby girl. You're alright."

Nurse Robin comes hurrying into her cubicle. She takes one look at the monitor and immediately disconnects her IV. Kurt quickly moves aside to give her room. Nurse Robin presses her stethoscope to Rachel's chest and listens while watching the monitor. 131. 132. It's still rising. Her heart is jumping out of her chest. Why is it so fast? Her chest still feels wet. Now it also feels like its too tight. Breaths are harder to get in. She's practically gasping. The room won't stay still. She can hear her pulse in her ears. It's drowning out other sounds, making everything sound a little muffled.

"Rachel, slow your breathing. Take deeper breaths. I need you to stay calm." Nurse Robin hits a button on the machine. "I need help in here!"

The nurse reclines the chair back so she's lying down. Two more nurses run in. Rachel is suddenly extremely cold despite her limbs feeling like they're burning. She shivers violently, her entire body visibly shaking. She tires to curl up but the nurses hold her down.

"C-cold." She gasps out.

"Everyone out!"

Through the throng of nurses, Rachel sees her mother. She has her hands pressed over her mouth. There's only one word to describe the look in her eyes: terror. Scott is holding her. He guides her out of the cubicle, further from Rachel. Kurt and Blaine are clinging to one another next to the adults. The edges of Rachel's vision darken. She closes her eyes. The nurses call for the head doctor. They inject something into her and place an oxygen mask on her. She can't get in full breaths, she can only gasp. She feels like she's on a swing but she knows she's lying on a reclined chair and not actually moving. She's shaking so hard the chair shakes as well. They place a blanket over her. Between the fast talking voices, the frantic beeping of the heart monitor, her thudding pulse in her ears, and her own gasping breaths, she can barely comprehend any of the sounds around her. And then one clear word penetrates the fog.

"Breathe!"

When did she stop breathing? Nothing make sense. She wants to breathe. She tries to but nothing happens. She's so tired…..The oxygen mask is yanked off her face and a new mask takes its place. Air is forcefully blown into her lungs. And then again. She gasps, finally taking in air on her own, only to immediately go back to struggling. They doctor squeezes the bag again and another burst of air is blown into her, filling her lungs. She's still shivering and staring up at the fluorescent lights. Hands are on her. Voices overlap. Beeping echoes distantly. It's important, but she can't recall why. And then everything changes. An odd sensation rushes through her, like she was flipped around and then slammed into a wall. Everything freezes for a second before the voices above her start talking fast again.

"How much did you give her?"

"10 ccs."

"Then why is her body reacting this strongly?"

"I don't kn—"

She feels weirder than before. Disconnected. She can't move. Even her eyes stay still. Her shaking slows. Her chest aches and she's cold. Everything starts to slip away. She's flying, soaring high above it all. Dimly, she hears the sounds of water lapping against a shore. It sounds oddly familiar. A sharp pain yanks her back down to reality. A fist slams against her chest and her mouth instinctively opens, sucking in a breath. Her vision clears a little and she realizes she's still in the clinic.

"Hold on, Rachel. Keep holding on."

"Stay with us."

Did she go somewhere? Fatigue beats her curiosity into submission and she allows her eyes to close again. The feeling of being lifted and placed on a new surface has her eyes fluttering but they don't open fully. Whatever she's lying on is moving fast and being jostled. Cool air blows over her and her shivering worsens. On the bright side, she realizes she's wearing a normal oxygen mask and taking in air on her own now. It's only when she hears the loud sirens that she realizes she's in an ambulance. Hands cradle one of hers. She knows these hands. Mom. With great effort, she manages to pry her eyes open and turn her head. Her mom is holding her hand between both of hers.

"—st breathe, baby girl, just keep br—"

Rachel does her best to grip the hands back. The darkness grows and everything fades away. The last thing she hears is her mother's voice by her ear.

"Please hold on."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We've given her medication to balance out what the staff at the clinic gave her. Her heart rate became dangerously high, so they gave her medicine to lower it. They did the right thing and even gave her the right amount. However, for reasons we don't understand, her body had a very strong reaction and instead of just slowing down to normal levels, her heart rate drastically dropped very quickly and then nearly stopped altogether." Dr. Morgan explains to them.

Shelby grips Scott's hand for dear life. She was watching the moment her daughter's heart nearly stopped. She'll never forget the way she'd suddenly gone limp and yet her eyes stayed open, but unseeing. The doctor had slammed his fist down on her chest, jumpstarting her slow heart. "Is there any way to know why she reacted so strongly?"

"We'll run some tests, but they may not be conclusive. It's a tricky matter. The one thing we do know now is that any medication we give her needs to be given in much smaller amounts than normal while we wait to check her reaction. What we gave her here is helping to balance her out, but her heart rate isn't yet back to normal."

"Is she still…." Scott clears his throat "…..is she still in danger?"

"Until her heart rate is consistently in a normal range, she isn't out of the woods. It'll be even better when her heart can go back to a normal pace without medication."

"How long will that take?"

"Probably a few hours. Maybe a day. Right now we're monitoring her very closely. The screen monitoring her heart rate and other vitals is at the nurse's station and there's always at least one nurse watching it. We'll also have nurses going into her room every half hour to physically monitor her."

Shelby can't take not seeing her child much longer. "Can I see her now?"

Dr. Morgan looks at her sympathetically. "Give us a few more minutes, then we'll let you in. This isn't like after an attack, Shelby. She's in and out of consciousness. When she's awake we need to make sure she is kept as calm as possible and we're trying to do it without medication. If she becomes agitated, her heart rate could skyrocket again. That would be very dangerous. Even crying right now could be too much for her heart to handle."

"I can help keep her calm." She offers, not caring how desperate she sounds.

"I know. And we'll be counting on that soon enough." Dr. Morgan promises her. "Just wait a little longer. We need to make sure she's through the worst of it before we allow any visitors. And even then we'll be limiting her visitors until she's out of the woods."

The doctor leaves the waiting room. Scott gently pulls her back down to the seat. She falls into him, breathing in his scent and taking comfort in his strength. He rocks her and rubs her back. When she's calmer, she opens her eyes. Kurt and Blaine are sitting across from them and gripping one another's hands. Both boys have pale, tear-streaked faces. Shelby had ridden in the ambulance with Rachel. Scott had driven the boys to the hospital. Kurt had called his dad on the way over, so Burt will be here soon. Probably Carole and Finn, too. Shelby feels like she was in a violent car wreck. She should be covered in bruises and blood. She should have broken bones instead of a broken heart. But all of her trauma is emotional. She needs to get a hold of herself. She needs to be calm before she can see Rachel. She can't risk upsetting her child.

"Shel. You should call your family." Scott tells her softly.

"And tell them they probably can't visit until morning? They'd just spend the night worrying."

"I think they'd rather know."

She sighs. "I'll call them after I've had a chance to see her."

"I can call them if you want."

She kisses him. "I appreciate it, but it should be me."

Burt and Carole come hurrying in. Kurt rushes into his father's arms. Blaine follows slowly. Carole hugs him. He obviously needs it. Shelby wishes she was in a good enough emotional state to be able to hug them without falling apart. Burt sits beside Shelby.

"What happened? All Kurt said is that something happened during her treatment."

"Her heart rate got dangerously high. They gave her medicine to lower it, but it lowered it too much. They don't understand why she—"

"Shelby?" Dr. Morgan is at the entrance to the waiting room. "You can see her now."

She leaves Scott to finish explaining it to the others while she follows Dr. Morgan. They walk down the hallway and around a corner. Dr. Morgan stops before a door.

"I need you to listen to me very carefully. Her heart rate is very susceptible to change from the slightest thing. Do your best to limit talking. You and her. Stick to things that'll keep her calm and comfortable. Not laughing or crying. If she's sleeping or falling asleep, let her. The more natural rest she gets, the better. She is weak. Try to limit her movement."

"So I can't hold her?"

Dr. Morgan sighs. "You can, but move slowly and make sure you're able to get up quickly if we need you to move out of the way. Also, her chest is badly bruised, so she's in pain. The clinic doctor had to stimulate her heart—"

"By hitting her chest. I remember."

"I know this is upsetting and difficult. But I am very serious. If you find yourself becoming emotional, you need to step out. If you are upset, she will become upset. And we can't have that. Not until her heart is stronger."

Shelby nods. She takes a couple deep breaths, wipes her face, and actively relaxes her shoulders. Nodding that she's ready, she follows the doctor into Rachel's hospital room. Her daughter's eyes are closed, but she's not sure if she's actually asleep. She's extremely pale. They still have her on an oxygen mask. Shelby takes carefully controlled breaths to keep her emotions in check while walking up to the bed. She gently strokes her daughter's cheek and kisses her temple. Dr. Morgan checks on Rachel while Shelby takes a seat and drags it closer to the bed. The doctor nods to her and leaves them alone. Shelby takes Rachel's hand and strokes the back of it. After a couple minutes, Rachel's eyes open. She watches Rachel's eyes adjust to the lighting in the room as she blinks. She turns her head in her direction. The moment their eyes meet, there's a beep from the heart monitor. The numbers go up. Shelby's heart jumps into her throat but she does her best to appear calm.

"Shhh." She softly hushes her child. "It's alright, baby girl."

Shelby kisses her hand. Her eyes move between Rachel's eyes and the monitor. Slowly, the numbers go back down. Shelby smiles softly at her kid.

"I'm here, honey. You can rest."

Rachel squeezes her hand briefly, then closes her eyes. Shelby hums a soft melody, easing her child back to sleep. She sits in the quiet room, alternating between watching her daughter and watching the numbers on the monitor. Scott enters the room. He adjusts the blanket over Rachel, then kisses her head. He places his hands over hers, which are still holding one of Rachel's.

"She'll be okay." He whispers.

Shelby nods, agreeing wordlessly. Despite this, a sudden sob escapes her. She slaps a hand over her mouth and worriedly looks at Rachel. She's still asleep. Scott kisses her lightly on the lips. She doesn't know what she'd do without his support.

"Kurt and Blaine really want to see her. The nurses aren't allowing it and they're upset."

"They don't know they're family. Bring Kurt to the door, please."

Scott nods and steps away. He returns quickly with Kurt in tow. Shelby reluctantly releases Rachel's hand and steps out of the room, bringing the boys with her. Still, she turns so she can see into Rachel's room.

"I can only let you in for a minute. Literally a minute, Kurt. You can go in and see her. You can hold her hand, but that's it. Try not to wake her or talk to her. If she wakes up, just tell her you love her, kiss her, and leave. Do you understand me?"

The pale boy is shaking. "Yes."

She guides him into the room. Kurt stand silently next to the bed for a moment. His fingers lightly graze her hand. When her fingers twitch, he gently clasps her hand. Shelby tenses, waiting for a reaction from Rachel. There isn't one. She stays asleep. Kurt lets out a quiet breath and kisses her cheek. Shelby is afraid of risking anything more, so she wraps an arm around her nephew and holds him in a side hug. For a couple seconds, they stare down at the girl they love sleeping on the bed. Shelby kisses Kurt's head and guides him out of the room. Everyone else has congregated outside the room, so she deposits the teen directly into his father's arms. She takes the next teenager and gives him the same instructions. She then leads him up to the bed. Blaine whispers something in Rachel's ear that Shelby can't hear. She tenses, worried that it'll wake the girl, but it doesn't. He kisses her cheek, hugs Shelby, then steps out of the room on his own. Carole silently enters and lightly brushes Rachel's hair back before focusing on Shelby.

"Finn will be here soon. He's out with friends. Do you need anything?" She whispers, pulling her into a hug.

"Not right now, thank you."

Carole leaves and lets her husband take her place. Burt stands beside Shelby and the two parents stare down at their daughter.

"I was really hoping we'd get to avoid this for a little longer."

"Yeah. Me, too."

They settle into the chairs on either side of the bed. Each take a hand and hold it, waiting. Hoping. Praying.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sushi slips from between the chopsticks and Nurse Sasha chuckles at her. Tamera gives her a mild glare and tries again, finally succeeding in bringing the sushi in her mouth with the chopsticks. She'll get the hang of it eventually. She hasn't had a chance to sit and eat yet tonight, but she won't complain. She doesn't want another doctor taking over Rachel Berry's care just yet. She wants to make sure the teenager is more stable before she ends her shift.

"Dr. Morgan? I have the results for you." A lab tech hands her a folder.

"Thanks, Kevin." Tamera opens the folder on the desk next to her food and lifts another piece of sushi while reading over the report. The sushi slips from the chopsticks again but she doesn't notice. She drops the chopsticks and lifts the report, rereading it. "No, this can't be right." Tamera mutters to herself. She turns to the lab tech, who is waiting patiently. "This can't be right. Run her bloodwork again."

He seemed to be expecting it. "I did, Dr. Morgan. Three times. Those are accurate."

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