Title: Absolution
Author: Meresankh
Summary: A girl in Thebes, doing what she must to survive, finding more she ever hoped for, and more than she ever dreaded for.
Notes: This story is adult. If graphic details of people having sex isn't your cup of tea, stay clear.
I'm all for historical accuracy, but I did not check every detail. The name Zahra was found on the internet along with it's meaning, I haven't checked the spelling, the meaning, or even the origin. This story was quickly conceived and ever more quickly written, so all mistakes are all mine.
When the next morning came and the rays of Ra awoke her from her dreams, she stretched on the bed and absently ran her hand across her waist, remembering his touch as he had touched her there the previous night.
He would come again tonight, she thought to herself.
Tonight was a special day for another reason, as well. The Grand Festival of Osiris, the event that had been the talk of the town for days now. Having plenty of spare money and nothing else to do, she would go and see the festival today. It was as good as excuse as any to put on her kohl and the new dress, and act almost noble. Today, she would be like any other woman in Thebes.
She was amused that she paid to get across the river, and didn't have to get down on her knees anymore. It amused her that she could ask for whatever food she wanted, and it was simply given to her. No more bending over fish crates.
The streets in Thebes were packed, the procession already started when she got there. The sides of the roads were filled to the fullest with curious people, all wanting to see the statue of Osiris as it moved through Thebes.
Zahra moved through the crowd to get to a spot where she could see something, anything. She finally settled behind two Greek noblewomen, who were gossiping amongst themselves more than they were watching the procession. Slowly the procession moved along the way, and the statue of Osiris slowly moved by them.
But it was the man walking in front of the statue that made her gasp for breath.
It was him, her lover. She'd recognise that face anywhere, there was no doubt in her mind. Tapping one of the noblewomen on the shoulder, she quietly asked, "Who is that man?"
The noblewomen laughed at her, obviously amused that someone would not know his name. "My, that is the imira hemu-netjer, the sem-neteru of Wsir. He is Imhotep, High Priest of Osiris."
Zahra felt like she had been punched in the gut. All wind was forced out of her lungs and she stood there silently for a moment. By the time the world was making it's presence known again, the procession was long gone.
Zahra wandered aimlessly back to the river, to the ferry, and over the Nile. With the waters of the Nile between them, she could finally sit down on the riverbank, leaning her back onto a palm tree.
The lowly whore from the outskirts of Thebes had been sleeping with the High Priest, the most powerful man in Egypt, the Pharaoh excluded and the very man she had come here to seek.
She remembered all the times she had kept her head bowed and called him master or lord. There were many, but still she felt they were vastly inadequate for the status of the High Priest. She deserved to be put to death for her inconsideration. How rude was she to demand money for service to the High Priest? She should have spread her legs before him and asked for nothing, starvation be damned. He was the High Priest, for Amun's sake!
She got up and ran to the tavern as fast as she could. She would continue disrespecting him no more. She would run from Thebes and hide under the most miserable rock she could find, and hope the hemu-netjer wasn't powerful enough to find her there.
He has the power of the god he serves, interjected the little voice in her mind, he'll find you and punish you, and sentence you to hell itself!
She felt nothing more than panic now. She had to get away from this town, had to, had to, had to!
Arriving in her room she gathered her few belongs swiftly, piling the linen cloth and the old dress on the end of the bed. She only paused when she noticed the dress she was wearing.
She would not be taking it with her. If it repaid even a fraction of what she had so selfishly demanded of him, then she would gladly leave it behind.
That moment, two large hands on her shoulders made her jump out of her skin.
"Hello, my flower."
She spun around to look into the deep black eyes. A pair of puzzled pools stared right back.
"Did I startle you, my love?"
"Yes, my lord. Forgive me," she said, looking away and bowing her head down as much as she could.
His whole-hearted laughter echoed in the small room. "It is I who should ask for forgiveness. I should not have sneaked up on you," he said, stepping back to remove the cursed scarf over his face. "I came as fast as I could, for I was anxious to see you after last night. There were things left unsaid between us."
He wondered why she seemed to refuse to meet his eyes again. A firm hand under her chin and her face was forced to meet his, and a single tear was seen trailing down on her cheek.
"Is something wrong? Has someone hurt you?"
Zahra shook her head. "No one has touched me but you, my master, this I promised you. But I must beg for your forgiveness. I have not treated you with the respect you deserve, have not served you as well as you would deserve. For this I am ashamed."
"Come here," he said gently, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. He could feel her tense in his arms. "I told you last night, no one has ever given me what you have. And if I would be dissatisfied with your services, I would not have come back for more."
"I do not mean to offend you, my lord."
"My love, you are incapable of offending me," he said, cupping her cheek with one hand. "I have never seen a more noble creature."
Her control of her emotions failed her then, and the tears came out, flowing like a river down her cheeks.
"Shh, sit down with me," he said gently, guiding her to sit down on the edge of the bed. He sat beside her, rubbing her shoulder while his baritone voice whispered in her ear, "My flower, There is something that has changed between us, in me. I can no longer sleep at night, for you haunt my every waking moment. From this day on, I want you to know my true feelings for you. I love you, my flower, dear Zahra, and I shall hear of no one else loving you. So I shall no longer come here as your customer."
This is it, this is where he'll tell you he no longer needs you!
"Instead, I shall come here to meet my mistress, my lover, my own Zahra."
She looked up him then with teary eyes. "You will still see me? After all I've done?"
He smiled at her and caressed away a strand of hair. "I shall never leave you. I do not know what it is you think you've done, but I assure you, nothing will drive me away. You are mine to have, and soon I will take you away from all this," he said, gesturing to the small room she called home. Lifting her chin to meet his eyes again, he gently kissed her. "Trust me. I will care for you."
Outside, she may have seemed peaceful, but inside her head there was a storm brewing. She loved him, of this she was sure, but she also knew he was beyond her reach. He was a High Priest of Osiris. She was little less than an insect. Could she be selfish and claim him, risking his wrath when her deception finally came to light? Or could she run away and hide, never to be found again? Either way, he would be hurt, and he would punish her for it.
So she might as well enjoy the last moments of her life.
She reached over and kissed him, moving her hand up his arm and coming to massage the muscles in his neck. He slowly cupped her breast through her dress, while the other hand slid across her back. Supporting her weight, he laid her down on the bed. The heat of his hands trailed across her body as he wanted to feel every inch of her, wanting to claim all of her for himself.
The hem of her dress was slowly raised to her waist and he entered her, his hands holding on to her waist, keeping her still. She enjoyed the motion, but hated herself for getting lost again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hid her face against his neck while he pushed himself slowly in her, pumping her with a gentleness she had never felt before. This was making love, not mindless sex she had had with others before him.
She did not come that time, determined not to enjoy it too much, determined to put some distance between them. She called up all her acting abilities and gasped and rocked wildly under him, but she did not find release; she did not allow it.
She must have put on a believable display. Some moments later the fingers dug painfully into her skin and he grunted as he thrust himself in, once again filling her with his semen, adding to the moisture already there. He collapsed on top of her, panting heavily. Soon he rolled over beside her and pulled her into his embrace.
Soon he was sound asleep.
Zahra slowly pulled back from him, straightened her dress and gathered her other belongings to a neat bundle.
If she was going to have any chance of getting away, it would have to be now.
She looked at the sleeping priest and the tears swelled up again. How ever outmatched she was to him, she had loved him with all her heart. She tried to convince herself that she was doing this for his benefit.
But where could she go, how far could she get?
Zahra opened her money pouch and the few debens she had left stared accusingly back to her. Why hadn't she been smarter and saved some, not spending it on luxuries?
That's when she noticed the priest's own money pouch in the midst of his discarded robe on the floor. It was tied to the sash, and Zahra quickly took it off and peeked inside. It was filled with at least two dozen silver deben, plus a few golden ones to add to it's value. The wealth he carried had her gasping for breath.
Of all the blasphemies she had thrown upon the world lately, she could add one more to her list. Leaving the priest to sleep in her old bed, she fled through the door with her bundle of clothes and the priest's money pouch.
It was dark outside, only the moon and the torches along the roads to guide her path. Still, she stuck to the darkest alleys as she cautiously made her way to the river. She wasn't even sure anyone would leave Thebes during the night. What if all the ferrymen were asleep? Where could she hide till the morning?
From time to time, she paused to check she wasn't followed. The last thing she needed right now was to bump into the Medjai. How could she explain all the silver and gold she carried?
A horse came storming up the road, and she hid in the dark alley, sighing in relief as it went past. Her heart was beating so hard she feared it would burst long before she even set her eyes on the river. She got up from her hiding place and continued down the dark alley, keeping to the shadows. She noticed how her white dress shone like a beacon in the dark alley.
The dress. She hadn't left it after all.
Were you ever going to?
Zahra stopped and bit her lip, cursing herself for her stupidity.
Suddenly she was grabbed from behind, turned around and painfully pushed against the wall. She squeezed her eyes shut at the pain of having her back scraped across the tile wall.
"How could you have betrayed me so, my flower?"
Her eyes instantly snapped open. In the dark of the alley, the pair of black eyes scared her to death, her face drained of blood, white as a sheet. She hopelessly struggled against his hold on her. "Please, my lord, let me go!"
"Oh, so it is back to 'my lord' again? No 'master' anymore? Tell me, my beautiful Zahra, what do you think the punishment will be for thieves?" he asked menacingly, taking back his money pouch from her hand and holding it accusingly over her face.
Zahra knew exactly what the punishment for thieves was. Cutting off the right hand at the wrist. The thought alone turned her stomach, and she collapsed on the ground against the wall.
"Tell me it was all a lie," he said, kneeling in front of her. When no answer came, he took out a dagger and held it to her right wrist. "Tell me, or I shall carry out your punishment right here and now!"
She gasped for breath at the feel of the cool metal blade on her wrist, and a pair of scared eyes looked straight into his. The High Priest had the jurisdiction of carrying out punishment, this she knew. He would carry out his threat.
"It was not, my lord. I never meant to hurt you, my lord."
"Then tell me, what is this nonsense? Why do you flee from me?"
"I cannot!" she was crying now, feeling trapped and cold.
"Do I not deserve an explanation? If there is a reason as to why you must flee from me, then tell me, and I shall give you all the wealth I have. I will offer you all the help I can," he said, desperately trying to reach the answer in her eyes, "But you must tell me, why are you doing this? Please, if you ever felt love for me, tell me what I have done to upset you, and I will make it right again."
"I cannot!"
"In the name of Osiris, then we shall sit here until you do! I will not let you leave me in the dark!"
She had to get away. She had to offer her the best explanation she could give him.
"The reason why I came here, all these weeks ago... is no longer at my grasp. I must go, for I have no choice."
"That's not good enough. What could have happened to make you steal from me?"
Was it just about the money, after all? She took out her own money pouch and handed it to him. "Please, accept all I have, and let me go. I beg you!"
"How far do you think you'll get? Where do you plan to go?"
Zahra shook her head hopelessly. "I do not know. I do not care."
"My love, I will give you all I have, but you must give me an explanation!" he said, shaking her by the shoulders. Nothing got through to her, and he had to think of another strategy. "If you do not, I shall become desperate and jump in the Nile. May the crocodiles devour my flesh, for it is useless without you."
"Do not say such things!"
With a last sharp shake of her shoulders, he repeated his threat. "Give me an explanation, or I shall meet the waters of the Nile. What was the reason you came here for?"
She could forfeit her own life, but not his. She was with no other option. "I came here to seek a help of a man," she said quietly, "A man who knew the magic of gods themselves, a wisdom beyond the likes men had ever seen," she looked into his eyes finally. "I came to seek the sem-neteru of Wsir, hemu-netjer Imhotep, the High Priest of Osiris."
It was finally Imhotep's turn to stagger back, stunned, speechless.
It was a full minute before Zahra found her voice again. "I saw you in the procession today," and while she knew the next words would hurt him, she could not hold them back. "I came to seek the help of a man who was helping himself to what he wanted all along."
He winced at that. "Why did you not come and see me? Why didn't you come to the temple to ask for my help in all these weeks you've been here?"
Zahra looked at him, heart broken. "I did. Five times I went there, five times I was sent away, always being told the same thing; 'The High Priest has no time for the likes of you'. Had I known what it would take to be worthy of your time, I would have offered you my body much earlier."
"I did not know," Imhotep finally said. "No one told me about you."
When he would return to the temple he would seek out the priests who had stood at that gate, and have the insubordinate fools flogged.
"Zahra, my precious love, listen to me," he said, then realized he didn't know what to say to her. He finally went for what his heart told him. "I love you, and I would do anything for you. Ask me for anything, and it is yours."
"I cannot," she said adamantly, and he once again winced at those cursed words. "You are a High Priest, and I am a whore. I do not deserve to be in your presence, and I shall ask you for nothing."
That moment, she saw a chariot coming up along the streets, and she cupped his cheek to give the other a gentle kiss. "I will not ask you for nothing more, but know that I love you with all my heart."
She jumped up and ran to the street. Neither Imhotep or the chariot rider had the chance to react, and Zahra met the full force of the horse hit her squarely in the chest. She fell down, the hooves crashing down on her, and the wheels of the chariot followed. When it was over, Imhotep wailed at the sight of the girl lying still on the ground. "Nay!"
She was still alive, just barely. She couldn't move and she couldn't see anything, her head spun and every part of her part was in excruciating pain. When Imhotep knelt beside her she was still trying to draw a breath and get her eyes opened, the pupils trying desperately to find anything to focus on.
Imhotep knew there was little hope she would survive.
"Zahra, listen to me. What was the help you needed from me?"
She still heard his voice call out from the darkness. If asking him for help now would mean peace in the afterlife, she would tell him.
"When I was young, I had a dream. My parents were sleeping in their room. A lamp was knocked over, and the house set on fire. The next day my parents were killed in a fire while I was playing at my friend's house," she paused for a second to gasp for air, "the next year I had another dream. A crocodile rose up from the river and ate all the grain from the fields. That year there was a drought, and people died of famine. One more dream came, and I saw a fire burning the sky. After a few days, a volcano erupted and destroyed many villages. When the word got out I had these dreams, I was cast out."
Imhotep had listened closely and noticed her breath becoming more and more erratic.
"Tell me, High Priest, why do I cause such terrible things?" she said, tears running down her face.
"My love, it is not you who caused such things. No one can do such acts but the gods themselves, and they do them sometimes for their own reason. You caused nothing, had no part in any of it. To see such things is a gift many seek for, not a curse. The gods gave you such a gift for a reason. You are lovely and precious, blessed and touched by the gods, my love."
His reassuring words brought a smile across her lips, and he reached down to kiss her.
When he rose up again, she breathed no more.