I was astounded by Maddie's performance. She held herself with such grace and poise. She nailed every line. I couldn't be more proud if she was my own child. She owned the stage and I knew she would be a great actress. Likely better than myself.

I glanced over at Steve and Janet. I swear Steve had tears in his eyes. Then I realized, so did I. She was marvelous. All that hard work over so many months had paid off. And I was glad I was here to see and enjoy it.

When she took her bow, we all were on our feet. We clapped and cheered her. I know she heard, because she gazed in our direction and had the biggest smile. She melted my heart.

We gathered our things and chatted about how well she did. Steve was one proud father, boasting about his daughter. We made our way down to the backstage area, we all had been put on the guest list. I was excited to see her. It had been so long since I had held her in my arms.

The backstage area was bustling with excitement and then it was like the seas parted and there she was. She turned and looked at us. She was beaming and she came running hurriedly towards us. Steve bent down and scooped her up. He whispered something in her ear, and she smiled at him. "I love you too, daddy." She said.

It absolutely melted my heart. She gazed around towards all of us. "Thank you all for coming to my play.". She said

She looked right and me and requested her father put her down. She was squirming a little and when her feet was planted firmly on the floor she was bounding towards me, "Aunt Bren! You came! Was I good? Did you like it?" her excitement was contagious.

I bent down and gave her a huge hug. "I did. It was excellent play. You know I love Mary Poppins. And you were fantastic." I leaned in closer to her ear. "you are the best. Even better than me. Don't tell anyone though." I heard her giggle. I set back so I could look at her face. She went to turn speak to her parents and her eyes caught something in the distance. She muttered, "He came".

My stomach immediately dropped and my heart started to race. "Uncle Dylan!" I heard her yell. And Like that she was gone from my arms and running towards him. I stood up and padded my dress. I watched her run and she was met with open arms. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. He was whispering to her. The Dylan I knew looked different than this man holding Maddie. But it didn't matter. He was still the same boy I fell in love with all those years ago.

I felt a hand on the small of my back and I turned me head away. Quickly hiding my face from his view. He softly whispered in my ear, "you ok?" I didn't respond verbally, but I did a quick head nod. I felt his hand move slowly off of my back and immediately felt the loss. "don't leave. I'm ok" I said breathlessly

I felt the hand return and I felt his lips near me ear. "I'm here. I won't leave you." He whispered back.

I closed my eyes and I felt the tears. Those words left an imprint. He wouldn't leave me. I pulled all the strength I had and held those tears back. And when I opened my eyes. Maddie was still in his arms. But now they were approaching and I tried my best to steel my face.

He never looked at me. Which only furthered my heart to break as he greeted Steve and Janet. Maddie was talking to him and asking him a dozen questions. Everyone was silent, waiting for the shoe to fall. Waiting for me to melt or maybe him. I wasn't sure. Then I heard Kelly. "well you showed. At least there is one girl in your life you won't disappoint."

I closed my eyes. I heard Steve say, "this isn't the place Kel."

"What? Its true. Ask anyone." She retorted.

Why did she feel the need to speak? Why ruin this night? I heard him then, "Kelly, stop. This is Maddie's night. No drama." I opened my eyes. He didn't even look in her direction when he spoke.

The next words out of Maddie's mouth sent me nearly to the floor." Uncle Dylan are you going to Aunt Bren's surprise party?" she asked.

I could hear the audible sighs and I believe I heard Val mutter shit under her breath. Dylan was taken off guard. He was stammering, trying to find his words. Before I realized what I was doing…I was approaching them.

Maddie's performance was impeccable. I was extremely excited and nervous after the show but I didn't drink. I wasn't going to break my promise to Steve. I had sipped a little vodka from my flask awhile ago in the effort to make sure I didn't have the shakes.

As I had made my way through the crowd backstage I spotted them. All of them. Standing together in a group and me on the outside. It seemed about right. Although Kelly and Donna had been shunned off to the side, but still close enough to partake. Maddie was jumping out of her dad's arms and running bouncing towards Bren. They were having their moment when Maddie slowly turned and spotted me. She yelled my name and came charging. I was bracing myself for the impact. I wasn't quite a strong as I used to be. But she was light as a feather when I picked her up. I told her I was proud of her and that I loved her.

She pulled back, "beyond measure?" she asked.

I nodded, "beyond measure."

That's what I had always told her. I love you beyond measure. When she was really small she would run and get a ruler. It was the most precious thing. Now she was starring in plays on Broadway. Where had the time gone? She wasn't that toddler that clung to my leg. Or would lay on my chest and sleep as an infant. I missed her growing up. And it stung. I had missed a lot of things. I regretted leaving Bren. And I would until the day I take my last breath, but one thing pure came of it. My relationship with Maddie. I became her God father. No doubts I had my short comings and I was certainly not the best, but I was swearing to myself that I would change that.

I held her to me and made my way over to Steve and Janet. I tried not to look at her. She would see through me. I would lose it all right here. In front of everyone and I didn't want anyone to see that. That was a private moment between her and I.

Maddie was excited as I greeted Steve and Janet. I was trying to keep my focus the best I could on them. And even when Kelly tried her best to interfere with the moment, I managed to speak to try and shut her up. It was when Maddie asked, "Uncle Dylan, are you going to Aunt Bren's surprise party?"

I heard the audible groans and Maddie quickly covered her mouth with both hands. Her eyes went as big as saucers. I heard Steve say Maddie's name in disproval. I stammered for a moment and even shifted her a little in my arms.

I wasn't aware of a surprise party, but I didn't quite know how to respond to Maddie. I heard the clicking of her heels across the floor approaching us. I held my breath and I heard her sweet voice. "Steve, don't be upset with Maddie. She didn't mean anything. She is just excited." She said.

I heard Steve say, "Maddie you knew better. We told you it was a secret. We will discuss this later."

Bren spoke up again, "Steve, it's her big night. She doesn't need to get into trouble for the slip up. Besides I already knew. Those three I've been staying with aren't good at keeping secrets either."

No one said a word for a moment and I felt her close to me. I wasn't sure I should put Maddie down or not. I needed something to hold onto and Maddie didn't seems to want to let me go. In fear she was in trouble I assumed.

Bren's hand was in view now. That hand that stroked my chest a thousand times. The one that helped me with my tie when my father died. Those fingers that would curl into my hair when she would kiss me. That hand was beautiful with some many memories attached to it. She simply placed it on Maddie's arm. "Sweetie, it's ok. Don't be upset. You didn't spoil a thing."

Maddie had turned to look at her and before I realized it she leaned far on one side to hug Bren. My arm was pressed between the two of them. Immediately when I felt her, I couldn't help myself but to look at her. The sparks were flying and I felt that the three of us were the only people that were in that room at that moment. Bren looked at me and although I could see the hurt she did a tight lipped smile at me. When she pulled back and Maddie withdrew I felt the loss of her touch immediately.

Maddie was smiling and then she asked Bren, "is uncle Dylan coming to the party?"

Bren didn't look at me, "I'm sure he will be there"

Maddie smiled widened. It's only then I heard someone and of course it was Kelly. "why weren't Donna and I invited?" She asked.

I could see Bren's jaw tighten and then release. "Everyone is invited."

"Well I wasn't sure as we didn't get an invitation." Kelly said smugly.

"it must have gotten loss." Said Steve.

Kelly being Kelly, "it was an email. How would it had gotten lost?"

"I guess I forgot to send the attachment or you didn't check your junk mail." Said Steve through gritted teeth.

You could hear the agitation in his voice. Kelly wanted to press further, but quickly snapped her mouth shut. I noticed Brandon had stepped forward towards Steve. He must have given her one hell of a look.

Bren took a deep breath, "then its settle. Everyone is invited and everyone is attending. Well…let's get on with it." She smiled at Maddie. She never looked at me again.

Maddie turned back to me and gave me a hug. "you're welcome" she whispered in my ear.

I was surprised. She knew what she had done. She knew I had not been invited. Maybe she knew why, but honestly I was just happy she did it. I squeezed her tighter. I finally put her down and she walked over to her mother. I hoped the kid wouldn't get into too much trouble for it. But I was grateful and in her debt.

When I had returned amongst the safety of my friends, Everyone looked surprised and quite confused by my proclamation. None the less it was done. Val approached me, "can I speak with you?" she asked.

I looked to John, who seemed solemn but nodded. I walked with Val to the ladies bathroom. Once we were inside, "what was that?" she asked.

"it's nothing Val." I answered.

I placed my hand on my stomach and let out a shaky breath. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. "Bren, I'll go out there and tell those three not to bother."

I shook my head violently. "no, don't do that. That would break Maddie's heart."

"Maddie is a child. She will be fine. She isn't coming to it." She answered.

"Its done. Just leave it." I said.

"What were you thinking? David and I don't want Donna there. Brandon doesn't want kel…well…actually no one wants Kelly there. And no one wants Dylan there as well. Or do I have that one wrong?" she said as she crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Don't…" I started. She interrupted, "did you not think of everyone's feelings?"

I had enough. I slammed my fists against the door. "That's all I do! I think of everyone but my self. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I get hurt or blamed for it. I am sick of it." I yelled.

"Bren, calm down." She gently said

I slammed my hand against the door again, " I did what I did and it's done. I don't want to hear anymore about it." I said. I thought she would drop it.

"well when you make a decision like this…" she started to wave her hand.

I had enough and hit my fist against the door again and this time much harder. Val jumped a little. Through gritted teeth and tears brimming my eyes, "it's done"

She nodded, but she wasn't finished. "just explain it to me. Then I will drop it."

I looked at her then. She smiled a little at me. Her features had softened and I knew, but just needed confirmation of what I was needing from this.

I pushed myself away from the door and walked over to the counter to look at my face in the mirror. The red splotches from crying was evident under my eyes. The whites of my eyes red. And my makeup had ran. Shit. I looked terrible. My head dropped a little and then I turned to face her. "I need this Val. I don't know why, but I need it."

"what? Dylan?" she asked.

I paused for a moment to think about my answer and then I finally said, "not quite, but in a sense…yes."

She just looked at me. Waiting on me to elaborate further. I finally let out a breath again that I felt I had been holding for nearly a decade. "He left me, Val. No explanation. Just one day I woke up and my world was turned upside down and then shattered into a million pieces. I need this. I need closure Val."

The tears were flowing down my checks. "it may not make sense to you. But I need this. I need this closure with him. I managed to put those pieces back together. One by one. With your help and the others. But this large piece can only be done by him. And I need it to be fixed. Otherwise, I will never be whole."

She didn't say a word. She approached and wiped my tears from my face. She spoke finally and said. "let's fix your makeup. I want you to look your best when it happens."

I sniffled and laughed. "I'm a mess."

I saw the tear slide down her face, but she smiled. "not for much longer."