Ben sat on the cot that was Rey's bed. He tried to lay down, to close his eyes and relax. But she was everywhere around him. He could smell her on the pillows and blankets. He felt exhausted but restless at the same time. He was there alone while she was out with her friends. He was a stranger and their enemy for so long, how would he ever fit in?

The Shadows of the past didn't want to let him be. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the face of someone whose life he had ended; from a lowly soldier, to his Father, his Mother, and his Uncle. How was he going to ever be at peace again?

"You need to forgive yourself."

Ben winced. "Easier said than done."

Rey let the tent flap close behind her. She was carrying a metal object in her hand and a book. She laid both on the small corner table next to the crate of books she kept there. Ben had tried to go through a few she had laid out - just to try to focus his mind on something else. But the guilt had eaten him up inside and he'd closed them barely touched.

"I've done such horrible things…"

"Do you know what balance means?" Rey's tone took on a bite that made Ben wince. It was a reprimand. Her patience tearing at the edges. He actually smiled at the flash of her anger. The steeliness in her eyes when she faced him. She wasn't afraid to show emotion. To feel.

"Balance," She continued, the steel in her eyes faltering at his smile, but she shoved it down. "Balance means accepting the good and the bad. The light and the dark. Yes, you've done atrocious things, but you've also done great good as well. Don't forget your past, remember it. Use it to teach others."

Ben's smile failed. Was she asking him to do what he thought she was? "Teach others the Dark side of the Force?"

"To accept the Light is to accept the Dark. When one side tips too far, the other rises up equally to set it right again. Extreme Light. Extreme Dark. So… yes. I want you to teach others that Dark is just another side of the Force. So that both can live in balance."

Ben frowned at Rey. She'd really given this thought. His head was still spinning. His world had just been flipped upside down and all that he had left was her. He didn't want to disappoint her, but she had so much confidence in him. He was afraid of letting her down.

"You should rest." Rey's body language softened as she looked him up and down. He must have looked like hell.

Ben had changed into an old set of his father's clothes - shedding the black armor that had been his identity for years. He felt a bit more like his old self in the white tunic, leather vest, and jeans. But he was also sorely reminded of his father, Han, and what he had done to him. Reminded of his deeds everywhere he looked. The guilt flooded him again.

"Sleep," Rey urged again, pulling him away from his thoughts. There was honest concern in her eyes. Concern… for him. This amazing woman stood in his presence without shrinking back in fear. He genuinely admired and loved her.

Ben swallowed down his self-pity. If she could face him and all the things he had done, he could at least have the strength to face it himself.

"Sure. But where are you going to sleep?" He smiled at Rey.

Unabashedly, Rey nudged Ben over with the side of her hip. He opened his arms and wrapped her in them as she slid onto the cot beside him. She fit against him perfectly. The scent of her hair was earthy and sweet, comforting. He felt the swirling emotions inside of him settle as their breath aligned - flowing in and out in rhythm together. She made the storm inside of him settle and calm in a way that he never dreamed possible. It allowed his mind to look past the anger and the rage. To view his past objectively.

At an early age, it had been apparent to his parents that Ben was gifted. As a baby, he'd been a needy child - eager for his parents' attention. But with a mother whose focus was on Galactic politics, and a father with a penchant for trouble-making, care was in limited supply. In order to get their attention, young Ben learned to cry and throw tantrums which often involved objects soaring around their family home, frightening nannies and parents was constantly told that his emotions were wrong or bad, and the looks they would give him… oh the looks. Terror.

Filled with bubbling emotions he'd never learned to control, and a growing self-hatred, the young Ben Solo was sent to his uncle, Luke Skywalker. At the young age of ten, a new burden was handed to Ben - to help his uncle rebuild the Jedi Order. He looked up to his uncle, but it came with such great pressure to live up to his expectations. He had tried so hard and felt like he failed at every turn. Like he could never be good enough, and every time he showed the slightest emotion, he was scolded and reminded that Jedi were to rid themselves of emotion. He had been doomed to fail the Jedi's expectations from the very start. Ben was filled with emotion.

Lying there with Rey in the darkness of the tent, he could look at all of this outside of the usual anger and hate and betrayal that came with those memories. He could see now that others helped to pave the road he went down, it hadn't been his choices alone. If he had had someone like Rey who could have helped guide him - helped love him through those rough days, would he have gone so far to the dark side? Did others struggle like he had? What if there was another little boy or girl who just needed to know, "It's okay to be upset. You're still loved. It's not the end. It doesn't mean you're all bad." What if he and his experiences could help another?

More memories surfaced in the quiet. A crying girl reaching for the sky. Feelings of abandonment, of wondering what she'd done to be left behind. Years wondering why she'd been left with the Junkers on Jakku. Hope and longing that they'd come back. Thinking maybe if she just followed the rules and tried her best, they'd come back. Convincing herself that if she was good enough, they'd come back for her. Any time she neared getting angry because someone else mistreated her or cheated her, she pushed it down and smiled - taking the scraps they gave her. Trudging home every night to track the days on the wall of her AT-AT until the day they'd come back for her. If she just waited patiently and did everything right, they'd come back. If she was nothing but good, they'd take her back.

Rey had suffered like Ben had. One went Right. One went Left. When they met, they were Fire and Air. Alone, they could destroy one another. Together, they could fuel.

"I'll do it." Ben's breath tickled Rey's ear.

"Hm?" She'd been near the edge of sleep. He felt her heartbeat race out of sync with his as he startled her.

Ben smiled, pulling her closer against him - her back to his chest, his chin snuggling down into her hair. "I'll teach others the Force… with you. Light… and Dark."

He felt her relax. Her hand slid into his, her fingers clinging tightly to his. "I knew you would," was all she said as she drifted off to sleep.