A few weeks later. Madoka sat up in bed holding Homura's hand while she slept. It was 2 AM, and both of them had crawled into their bed a few hours beforehand. While Homura had been able to eventually fall asleep, the day's events had been continuously running through Madoka's mind, preventing her from getting a proper night's rest. Instead, she had stayed wide awake, wondering what to fo about the girl who wouldn't accept her love.
Madoka had expected something like this to happen, of course; their last meeting as middle schoolers had ended with Homura declaring that they'd be enemies before she disappeared from her life for eight years. Even so, Madoka's heart still couldn't keep from breaking when she realized that Homura didn't consider herself worthy of love. Here Madoka was, trying to give Homura the very thing she desperately craved, and Homura couldn't bring herself to accept it.
Earlier that day, they had gone out on their first date together. Madoka had asked Homura if she wanted to spend the day walking through the local park, and Homura had agreed to do so with a reluctant face. They traveled through the park, hand in hand, stopping to eat lunch at a local bakery partway through the day. Even though Madoka had hoped that a date would cheer Homura up, instead, she had worn the same troubled expression she had been wearing ever since she moved in with Madoka. She talked little throughout the day, only speaking up to answer Madoka whenever she asked the sullen girl a question about what she thought of the park or what she planned to eat at the bakery. When they arrived home and Madoka asked if she had fun on their date, Homura gave her a weak smile and answered that she had fun, even though Madoka could still see the sadness in her eyes.
Madoka began stroking the palm of Homura's hand with her thumb, trying to think of a way to assure her lover that she could enjoy her time with her and forgive herself for her past actions. She had considered letting Homura ease into her new daily life with Madoka and slowly come to accept things as they were right now, but Madoka worried that Homura may try to leave her if her feelings of self-loathing continued. She had considered other romantic gestures like cooking a large meal for Homura or taking her on a fancier date than a walk in the park, but she knew Homura would think that she was just trying to be kind to her out of a sense of pity.
What upset Madoka the most, besides seeing the person she loved be in so much pain, was that she herself wanted Homura to start giving her love back. She wanted Homura to wear a smile on her face while welcoming her back home, to brighten up and compliment her when Madoka wore a dress, or to simply look excited right before they go out on a date. She wanted Homura to show Madoka the love she knew the raven-haired girl held for her, but refused to show her due to a misplaced sense of self-hatred.
Madoka leaned over and kissed Homura on her forehead for what felt like the thousandth time since they began living together. The little act of bringing her lips to Homura hadn't just been for Homura's sake; rather, she had begun to find the simple act of kissing calming for her, as if it was a way to connect and get closer to Homura. That connection, that feeling that they were a pair and not just two people living together, was what Madoka wanted the most at that moment; to be able to say that Homura was her partner, to be able to spend her life next to Homura, to place her hands on-
That last thought struck Madoka. Since they had moved in together, the two of them rarely had the opportunity to simply be with each other and feel each other's warmth. They had been sharing a bed together for almost a month at this point, but they rarely slept in a way that had their bodies pressing against each other for warmth. They had begun kissing and holding each other's hands together, but each time had felt robotic and awkward, even though Madoka wanted the two of them to seek each other's warmth as if it was the most natural thing for them to do.
That moment, Madoka wanted nothing more than to press her body against Homura and spend the night simply being with each other; not in the sense that they'd be next to each other, but to be able to focus on and enjoy nothing but each other's presence for a night. She wanted the person she loved to feel assured that she could place her hands on Madoka's body, that she could kiss her wherever she wanted to, and that she could spend time doing nothing more than making love to Madoka.
With that realization in her mind, she laid back down, planning to truly confront Homura and her feelings tomorrow.