Chapter Twenty-Seven.
Aftermath

Harry was lying in the hospital wing. His eyes closed shut afraid to open them. Flashbacks and thoughts were running through his head. I'm just in my bed in the dormitory, when I open my eyes I'll see Neville asleep on the bed opposite. It was just a terrible nightmare. A realistic one though… Harry even half believed himself as he forced his eyes open. He knew it had been real when he saw a very miserable and tearful looking Hermione and Ron sitting next to his bed. Ron had his arm around Hermione and she had her head buried inside it. "Why am I in the hospital wing? What happened did they get Bellatrix?" Harry said immediately sitting up and surprising Ron and Hermione who had been in a world of their own. Hermione pulled away from Ron and looked nervously at Harry leaning forwards and placing her hands on the edge of his bed.

"No Harry, she got away." Hermione said quietly putting her head down to face the floor no longer looking at Harry. Harry let his head fall back down onto his pillow and sighed. He couldn't believe another person was dead. And it was Neville, a person who really couldn't have not deserved it more.

"Mcgonagall's cancelled lessons for the rest of the week." Ron informed him looking very pale himself. Harry ignored him and carried on talking.

"Bellatrix got away. After she killed Neville. She got away and I nearly had her." Harry said angrily. He didn't know why but he looked at Hermione accusingly. "You stopped me." Hermione's eyes turned wide when she heard these words and found herself unable to look at Harry.

"Harry now wait a minute you can't blame Hermione for stopping you from becoming a killer." Ron said in disbelief.

"I bet you're the one that sent me unconscious too." Harry carried on.

"Actually that was me." Harry looked up to see Lupin standing in the doorway of the hospital wing. He walked over and sat on the edge of Harry's bed. "Can I have a word with Harry alone for a moment please." He asked Ron and Hermione who got up and quickly made there way towards the door. Harry looked guiltily at Lupin. He didn't know how much of that conversation he had just heard but Harry had blamed Hermione when all he really felt was blame for himself. "Harry, I'm sorry about what happened with Neville." Lupin began.

"Then where were the members of the order?" Harry said.

"Macnair and Bellatrix didn't come alone. Members of the order who were guarding the school were very busy. A member of our order was killed. As was a death eater." At these words fear overwhelmed Harry.

"Who?"

"Alecto the sister of Amycus killed Hestia Jones. Shortly after she was killed, Julian Eccledon killed Alecto in a duel when Alecto tried to escape." Lupin told him. Harry remembered Hestia Jones had come with other order members to rescue him when he was stuck at the Dursley's.

"So why did you curse me when I tried to stop Bellatrix from escaping?" Harry said feeling slightly irritated.

"Harry, for one It came as a shock to me when I saw you could perform the killing curse. We'll come to that in a second. Hermione and Ron both seemed dead set on stopping you and you shouldn't blame them. You didn't want me and Sirius to become murderers in your third year, now what's changed?"

"She killed Sirius and Neville." Harry said simply.

"Well Pettigrew is the reason your parents are dead. You still spared him. Unless you regret that now?" Lupin said as if knowing what Harry was thinking.

"Sometimes I do. But you and Hermione shouldn't have stopped me. It was my decision I'm not a kid anymore." Harry said defiantly.

"I know Harry, but you have to understand using an unforgivable curse is illegal. Just because I know how to use them you don't see me using them in duels all the time do you." Lupin said.

"But Eccledon must have used one to kill Alecto."

"Eccledon is an auror. At this point Scrimgeour has given them permission to use any one of them if necessary on a death eater. Your of age now Harry, you were running around using an unforgivable curse in broad daylight. If the wrong person had seen you, you could be in Azkaban right now." Lupin finished. Harry had nothing to say to this, he knew Lupin was right. "Your parents would be very proud of you now Harry. But if he were here, James would be telling you the exact same as I am right now." With that Lupin got up off the edge of Harry's bed and turned back around to him. "You have another visitor Harry." Harry turned his head towards the door, and gulped feeling guilt in his stomach as he saw Neville's gran come into the room wiping tears from her eyes with a tissue. As they passed Lupin rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'm very sorry about Neville Augusta. He was a decent boy." Augusta Longbottom gave a slight smile and muttered.

"Thank you Remus." She walked over to Harry but remained standing. He didn't know what to say. Was she going to blame him for Neville's death? After all it was his fault. Harry stopped himself from thinking about it as he felt his eyes sting. "You were with Neville when it happened then Harry."

"Yes Im sorry Mrs Longbottom I…" As if she hadn't heard this Augusta wiped another tear away from her eye and began to talk boldly.

"He died doing something I'm proud of. His parents would be too. For dying trying to help the boy who lived, you. Harry Potter. I never did tell him I was proud enough, well after the fight in the department of mysteries I was shining with honour at having him as my grandson." She looked down at Harry who was at a loss of what to say. "There's a memorial tonight in the grounds in an hour. He's being buried here at Hogwarts. You will be there won't you Harry? He always spoke very highly of you." Harry nodded and a smile spread across Augusta's face as she left the room. He felt he didn't deserve to be there, if it hadn't been for Harry and his being impatient to get his hands on Bellatrix, Neville would still be alive. And he had blamed Hermione for trying to prevent him from doing something stupid. When Hermione and Ron had never seen death before, he knew how hard it would be for them both. He wondered where Ginny was, and if she'd even want to see him after what he did. Don't be an idiot you know she will. Then where is she? Harry didn't look around for Madame Pomfrey to ask if he could leave, he just slid out of the bed and walked straight to the common room. Not wanting to talk to anyone. When he arrived in the common room he saw no one but a few fourth years were in there sitting In silence. He walked quickly up the boy's dormitory stairs and saw Ron talking to Seamus. He looked up when Harry walked in.

"Hermione and Ginny are getting ready for the memorial." Harry had never seen Ron look so depressed, other than at Dumbledore's funeral.

"Right." Harry said quietly. He wasn't even sure if he was going, he sat on his bed and waited. There was nothing but silence between the three boys until Ron spoke again.

"I'll wait downstairs for you with Hermione and Ginny ok?"

"No, don't wait for me. I'll just see you there." Harry said shaking his head. Soon enough Harry found himself sitting alone on his bed watching out of the window as everyone gathered together to say goodbye to Neville. He half felt he was being selfish but he couldn't face all of Neville's relatives knowing it was his fault. It had been bad enough with Neville's gran. After about five minutes of watching everyone take their seats, there were a few chairs, obviously for Neville's relatives and close friends. He could see Neville's coffin at the front. The memorial was no where near as big as Dumbledore's but it still looked as grey and empty outside in the grounds. He heard a faint knocking sound at the door and he ignored it. After a minute the door opened anyway and he saw Ginny step in looking apprehensive. She walked over to Harry and sat down beside him. "Why aren't you at the memorial." Harry muttered still looking out of the window.

"Why aren't you?" She replied. Harry didn't answer her and she left it a few more seconds before she spoke again. "Harry, Neville would have wanted you there and you know it. I'm sorry I didn't see you before now, but I saw Hermione and guessed you wanted some space. She's really upset you know." Harry still didn't speak and Ginny carried on. "What's this all about?" Harry stopped staring out of the window and looked at Ginny her face full of concern. He finally spoke.

"This is all my fault. My Aunt and Uncle, Sirius, Neville …" Harry broke off. "What if it's Ron or Hermione next, or you." He whispered the last part and Ginny grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. He felt tears finally falling from his eyes as he looked at her.

"None of this has been your fault. It's Voldemort's fault. Nothing is going to happen to me, Ron or Hermione." Ginny said determinedly as Harry rested his forehead on her shoulder. Tears were now running down Ginny's face which Harry noticed and wiped them away with his finger. He knew she was right, he had to stop blaming himself and concentrate on getting rid of the person who caused all this for all of them. Feeling now slightly stronger he got up from the bed still holding Ginny's hand and together they walked down to the grounds. When they arrived a very tall old wizard Harry didn't know was levitating Neville's coffin into the ground. He caught sight of Ron and Hermione standing next to it, Hermione crying on Ron's shoulder. With Ginny he walked over to them. They both looked at him nervously not knowing what he was about to say.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry for what I said." He began to apologise but Hermione ran forwards and hugged him.

"It's ok Harry I understand." Hermione whispered into his ear still crying. Harry had never been gladder of Hermione hugging him. He felt it made him feel better somehow. Ginny let go of Harry's hand and walked over to Ron who put an arm around his sister. Hermione finally pulled away and Harry caught sight of Luna wandering away from the memorial.

"I'll be back in a moment." He said to Ginny, Ron and Hermione and began running after Luna.

"Luna!" Harry shouted still running. She turned around and stopped, a smile appearing on her face.

"Harry. Neville would have been glad you came. I knew you would eventually." Luna said dreamily.

"I'm sorry about Neville." He said sincerely.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Harry." Luna spoke as if she knew how he was feeling and strangely hearing her say it took away some of the guilt he was feeling. "And at least he's with the spirits of his parents now."

"Luna his parents are still alive." Harry said bewildered.

"I know but there spirits have always been somewhere else and he is with them now."

"Right ok." Harry said not understanding her at all.

"And as I said before, I'm going to see him again. And so are you." Harry remembering she had said something similar when Sirius died still didn't understand but gave her a slight smile back. But as Luna turned away Harry could have sworn he saw a single tear falling down her cheek.