Gone to the Dogs
I never really fell into any sort of comfortable routine after Peter left. Days passed and things never settled down as far as I was concerned. How could they? Even though life continued as normal for most of the inhabitants of Cair Paravel, I couldn't get used to my brother's absence, especially those first few moments of waking up every morning. I trained as always, I went to lessons and tutors, I sat on my throne and helped rule Narnia, and nothing ever seemed quite ... right. I went through the motions, but nothing seemed real to me save the sense of duty that kept me moving and functioning as student and monarch. At least, everything seemed less real without Peter.
Was I really so dependant upon my brother for my own security? The thought was disturbing to say the least. I don't remember being so needy in the past, but then I hadn't been much of a brother myself. I couldn't imagine what the future would bring if I didn't get over this clingy stage I seemed to be wallowing in. I honestly didn't think under normal circumstances my anxiety would have lingered so strongly. Even as far as Narnia was concerned, these circumstances weren't normal. I was functioning under a deathless spell that tried to kill me off on a nightly basis, Peter and Phillip had departed into the Western Wild to find the means of breaking the curse, and Aslan was here to help us and to keep me from losing my mind. Everyone had something to worry about including Peter, wherever he was.
Every night we lingered in one of our rooms, usually mine, waiting for midnight. It was extremely unnerving to know that each night I was going to be stabbed, horrible to pull off my tunic and sit and wait for the moment. I dreaded it as I have never dreaded anything before. In truth I would have much sooner ridden naked into battle. The feeling of being stabbed was the worst, my body being violated and invaded by ice-cold crystal, but even worse was the sensation of the wand being yanked out of me. That was when the real pain started. It was too centered, too painful for me to scream or cry. Jadis had been wantonly brutal, punching through mail and muscle and bone. Try as I might I could not erase her triumphant sneer from my mind. I know she would have been delighted to know how her curse was perpetuated and how desperately I wanted it to end. Strangely, knowing that her blood in me was what caused this gave me a feeling of being infected or tainted. I was constantly aware of her presence, just as I was constantly reminded of Peter's absence. Even Aslan's company, welcome and wonderful though it may be, just drove the message home that much harder.
I had no option but to carry on and I was grateful for my lack of choice. Peter had set the example for us all right after the anniversary celebration. We had gathered in our private sitting room and he had insisted that we needed to carry on as if nothing in the world had happened. He had made certain we understood the importance of appearances not only to Narnia, but to the rest of the world. It wasn't easy, but I think I had the advantage over all my siblings in controlling my expressions and reactions to things. Dealing with the bullies at my last school had taught me a great deal. I had never thought I'd be grateful to those barbarians, but their teasing and abuses had been an education and proving ground above and beyond the academics of school life and I had learned to hide my true feelings behind a calm facade. I hid behind that now, relaxing my guard only when I was alone with my sisters and Aslan, but never quite able to relax it completely as I did with Peter.
I wasn't alone in missing him. Silvo, his Faun valet, was constantly looking for something to clean and fussed over Peter's clothes endlessly. Occasionally I would sneak in and move things around on him and mix up the shoes and hide the belts or Peter's crown, just to keep him busy. Peter's war mount, the Unicorn Flisk, wandered through every building and hall of Cair Paravel, pestering everyone but Aslan for word on my brother. More than once I opened my bedroom door to the huge white Unicorn standing just outside and expecting me to have the answers he wanted to hear. It's no joke facing a Unicorn before breakfast, believe me. That Flisk was so concerned surprised me because as a general rule Unicorns are very stand-offish and, Lion forgive me, snobbish. I suppose in his own way Flisk was worried and expressing it the only way he knew how. I promised to let him know the moment we heard anything to get him to leave the stable attendants and gardeners alone.
And then there were the small Cats that served at Peter's pages. There were several dozen about the palace and they tended to hold themselves in reserve for his service before anyone else's. Without him there to keep them busy they shifted their attentions to me and Lucy and we were hard pressed to find enough people to send messages to in order to keep the Cats occupied and we kept up a steady stream of useless notes back and forth. It was particularly difficult for me because since the time I had gone to visit the Blue River Smithy, I had used the Bats almost exclusively to carry my messages and for all their manners, the Bats were as territorial with me as the palace cooks were with their pans. Luckily for all parties concerned my Dwarf friends were in almost constant contact and we started negotiating another visit for me in the spring. I kept the plans moving ahead despite the uncertainty of when Peter would return. I needed something to look forward to (though looking forward to weeks of hot, smelly, dirty work, tasteless food, and obnoxious Dwarfs was sad testimony to my present state) and I needed to keep the Bats and Cats from crossing messages and claws.
As it turned out, keeping everyone else busy and happy was very good medicine. The days passed quickly and I was surprised when over a week had gone by and I had somehow survived Kanell. It was about this time that I discovered the little gift Phillip had left behind for me in the form of a pack of Dogs.
An opportunity to go riding hadn't presented itself in a while, the weather being as uncooperative as our schedules, so on the first clear day where we had free time Susan, Lucy and I eagerly headed down to the stables. I took Jett, Peter's black mare, and the girls rode their palfreys. At first I kept pace with the much smaller horses. The weather was clear and warm, though there was a hint of autumn in the air and the Dryads were already plotting out their fall foliage. As usual whenever we went riding (or anywhere else, in fact) we were followed by attendants and guards and curious Animals. I didn't particularly notice the Dogs, but when I got tired of the pace the slower horses set, I let Jett have her head and she took off at a run. Susan shouted after me to be careful and I just waved to acknowledge that I'd heard (not that I would obey). I knew I'd be followed, most likely by Deer or Centaurs or big Cats. They were always careful to keep their distance and afford us monarchs some privacy, something we rarely enjoyed. I wanted to be free of Bats and Cats and Unicorns, if only for a few minutes. That day, however, I was pursued by half a dozen baying, barking, shouting Dogs who made no attempt to be subtle as they crashed through the woods after me.
I pulled Jett to a halt and looked around. I spotted a large buck, Valons by name, in the trees a few yards away. We looked at each other in confusion as the Dogs caught up.
"Is something wrong, cousins?" I asked, wondering if something had happened behind us with the main party.
The Dogs sat or lay down, panting and looking pleased with themselves.
"No, your majesty," they called.
"Why are you following me, then?"
"It's not you we're following, King Edmund."
I frowned and glanced at Valons again. He shook his head and I shrugged, turning the mare about and letting her take off again.
The Dogs set off in hot pursuit. I tried to ignore them, but it was impossible with the rackett they produced for no apparent reason. We came to a stream and I let Jett take a drink. The Dogs caught up again.
"Why are you following me?" I asked sharply.
"We're not following you, good king," said one grayhound.
"Then why are you here?" I demanded. A few stragglers caught up to us. "Answer me, Yoli!"
"We're not following you, sire."
"Then who?" I thought for a moment. "Jett? You're following Jett?"
They nodded, heads bobbing all around me. "Did my - "
I stopped. Peter would never do this to me, especially since he'd already left me to the mercies of an additional valet. I was grossly outnumbered in my own chambers back at the Cair and now...
"Phillip," I growled. I took a deep breath. "Did Phillip put you up to this?"
More idiotic nods. I sat atop Jett in open-mouthed fury at my absent, so-called friend.
"Marsk?" I shouted.
They nodded, clearly pleased to see I was catching on.
"What about all the other horses?" I asked, but I already knew the answer because they all bobbed their heads again.
"Well," said one saluki bitch, a lovely young thing called Merit, "Phillip didn't include your sisters' palfreys."
"WHAT? As if I would ever ride one of those!" I snapped. Palfreys weren't horses, they were glorified ponies. I was not going to ask about the donkeys, either, because kind as they were, I'd sooner walk. "I command you stop following the horses when I ride."
Yoli whined. "But King Edmund, we swore to Phillip on our fathers' tails that we keep our promise to him and we hold no oath more sacred!"
I looked over at Valons standing midstream. I was sure my expression spoke volumes. He rolled his eyes, having little patience for Dogs and their notion of honor. He snorted and stamped his hoof, jerking his head slightly. I understood instantly.
"Ha, Jett!" I shouted, spurring her on. The black mare bolted. Unless the Dogs had relays set up, we could outrun them. We lead them on a merry chase, circling wide until we could come back upon my sisters and their party from behind. Jett was happy to be running fast and far and Valons, I was sure, could run all day. The complaining Dogs fell behind until the only noise was the sound of a running horse and a bounding Deer and for a little while I had the freedom I had sought.
When we reached the girls and their party (a few Dogs lighter) I was surprised to see Aslan walking with them. The Talking Animals were even more numerous than before, all of them excited to see the Lion and my sisters. As Valons and I trotted up I felt a pang of guilt for what I had done, especially when Aslan turned those golden eyes on me. My calm facade was fairly useless against that look and I fought the urge to squirm.
"Edmund," he said, and I knew I was be summoned. Aslan didn't even need to resort to using my middle name like Mum did. I dismounted and handed the reins off to a Dryad before facing my doom. I bowed, wishing I didn't look quite so windblown. Aslan growled slightly. "They merely keep a promise made to one who cares for you deeply."
"I know, Aslan. I just..." I shut my mouth with a snap. There were no excuses. I couldn't stop a sigh from escaping. "I understand. I won't do it again."
He nudged me with his nose. "It won't be for very long, I promise."
I looked up at him hopefully. If he said it, it was so, and I smiled. The smile became forced when I heard a host of barking Dogs catching up with us. Aslan seemed about to laugh as I turned to face my canine subjects, all of them happily telling me everything they had smelled and seen and imagined and a thousand other things I already knew about the ride.
Peter couldn't get back fast enough for me, and when I saw Phillip I was going to throttle him the moment I figured out how.