Chapter Seventy-Five: Insecurities

Aisla was humming softly to herself as she sat cross-legged on the rooftop, occasionally leaning back to look out over the short wall that served as a barrier to the outside world. Fall was quickly approaching, meaning the weather was finally starting to cool down. The sun was shining down, and a cool breeze offered comfort to the afternoon heat. She'd been sitting here for nearly an hour before someone finally settled in beside her and slid a bento box her way. She turned, a grateful smile already in place.

"Thanks for lunch," she said as she sat up and grabbed the box off the ground.

"No problem," he mumbled dismissively. "I thought it might be nice to talk."

"My door is always open!" she enthused.

He rolled his eyes. "We're on the roof, and it doesn't belong to you."

She shrugged, unconcerned. "It's a figure of speech." She popped open the box and oohed at its contents. "Tonkotsu! I haven't had this in so long! Thank you!"

He chuckled and pulled open his own box. "I'm not much of a chef, but I think it's all edible. It's a simple dish."

Aisla took a bite of the pork and chewed, enjoying the familiar flavors on her tongue before speaking again. "So, what did you want to talk about, Hitoshi?"

"Hitoshi…" he repeated the name, and even though he was shaking his head, she could see his pleased smile. "It's nothing important, honestly. I don't really know how to…you know…" He trailed off and took a bite of pork.

"How to what?" she prompted.

He sighed and stabbed a stalk of broccoli with his chopstick. "I don't know how to be your friend," he admitted, cheeks burning.

"Aw, don't be like that, Hoshi." Aisla placed a hand on his arm and waited for him to look over at her so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. "You're a great friend, I mean it. You don't have to try to be anything other than yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, but you have that Todoroki guy," he pointed out, "and Bakugo. What do you need me for when you have the two coolest guys at UA?"

Aisla couldn't help a small giggle. "Todoroki is my friend, but he's completely different from you. The relationship between you and I is so much different than the one I share with him. Plus, we train together with Mr. Aizawa, and that's something only the two of us share, right? It wouldn't be the same without you there."

He searched her eyes for a long moment. "Really? You don't get annoyed that I'm so weak in battle compared to your hero friends?"

The insecurity in his violet eyes was so palpable she could practically feel it pouring off him. She imagined this was how she looked when similar thoughts clouded her own mind, and wished they were at the stage in their friendship where she was allowed to embrace him. Right now, however, she didn't think he would appreciate being touched by her. For now, she settled for a reassuring smile.

"I think you're a great hero, Hitoshi Shinso," she told him earnestly. "Each time we train together, you get better and stronger. Your quirk is amazing, and you're learning to use a capture scarf like Mr. Aizawa, which gives you an advantage against opponents. You should be proud of your accomplishments, Hitoshi. I know I'm proud of you."

She hoped her words would encourage him, but she couldn't tell based on his expression alone. She'd been best friends with Shoto for a long time now, and she knew every expression Katsuki made by heart. But Hitoshi was a new friend, someone she hadn't had the chance to really get to know just yet.

After a long moment of playing with the vegetables in his bento box, he turned a crooked smile her way. "Okay, Aisla. I guess if someone as cool as you believes that I'm improving, then I must not be that horrible."

Aisla blushed at the praise and twisted a strand of her hair. "O-oh, you think I'm…cool?" Had anyone ever used that word to describe her before? She couldn't remember hearing that directed toward her. Aisla wasn't the type of person people talked about, but when they did, it was usually just to point out how pathetic or weird she was. She remembered being made fun of a lot in grade school for her quirk, but she imagined Hitoshi had similar problems. No wonder he felt like he couldn't be friends with her. Growing up being bullied and made to be a fool made it hard to interact normally with people who wanted to be around you.

Aisla had that problem when she first came to UA and had been trying to get Katsuki to befriend her. It had been easy with Shoto—he was so easy-going and willing to be her friend without question—but even when they'd started hanging out, there was still this air of awkwardness that Aisla couldn't figure out how to get rid of. She wasn't "cool," she was just the weird foreign girl with the pathetic quirk. Shoto, on the other hand, was both attractive and skilled with his quirk.

Aisla could imagine how Hitoshi must feel right now, sitting next to a hero course student while he was stuck in general studies. Even though, in Aisla's eyes, he was a much stronger hero than she was, he must feel like Aisla was ahead of him. Maybe he was even a little envious that she was in a place that he wished he could be. She knew he wanted to be a hero, too, but because of his particular quirk, he hadn't been able to make it into the hero course. Aisla thought she'd just been lucky, but Hitoshi probably saw her as someone who was able to achieve the goals that he couldn't.

"You're cool, Aisla," he repeated with an amused chuckle, then let out a tired sigh and lay back on the hard ground, hands behind his head as he squinted up at the bright sky. "Do you think I'll make it in the hero course?" he asked quietly after a long silence.

Aisla lay down beside him and closed her eyes against the sun. It was a warm day, but a soft breeze ruffled her hair and blew across her face. "I know you will," she answered without hesitation. "I believe in you, Hoshi. I train with you all the time, so I know what you can do. You'll be great."

"Thanks, Aisla…" he murmured in reply. "You're a good friend. But…"

Aisla opened her eyes and peered over at him. He was looking at her with an amused smirk. "But what?!"

He arched an eyebrow, and if he'd been anyone else, Aisla would have thought he was checking her out with the way his eyes scanned over her body. This was Hitoshi Shinso, however, and she knew he didn't see her that way. Or he did an excellent job of hiding it if he did.

His smirk widened. "You should really update your wardrobe."

Aisla frowned and sat up so she could look down at her outfit. "What's wrong with it? It's a good outfit!"

"Mr. A is going to hate it," he warned, sitting up as well, and grinning mischievously at her.

Aisla let out an indignant huff. "He won't care!" she declared stubbornly. "I'm not changing."

Hitoshi snorted and pushed to his feet before gathering up their bentos. "Suit yourself. I'll just sit on the sidelines and laugh at your expense."

Aisla couldn't hide a smile as she followed him through the door. She was glad to have a friend like Hitoshi. He was a nice contrast to the relationships she had with Shoto and Katsuki. She needed someone like him, someone easy to be around. She enjoyed his sense of humor, but most of all she liked how much they could relate to one another. It made it easy to talk to him. Katsuki was her boyfriend, and she knew Shoto wanted to be, so having a friend like Hitoshi who held no romantic intentions for her was nice. Plus, she just felt comfortable around him.

"Should we get coffee before practice?" Hitoshi asked as they made their way down from the roof.

Aisla moaned as her mouth salivated in response. "Hitoshi, I think I love you."

"Gross," he said with a laugh.

"Race you there!" Aisla cried, then started running before Hitoshi had the chance to agree. She heard him curse and then the sound of pounding footsteps behind her.

This is fun, she thought as she laughed and heaved for breath. Having friends is fun.

Aisla was currently engaged in a battle with Hitoshi under the watchful eye of her favorite pro and mentor. She wore black leggings and a white Eraser Head t-shirt she may or may not have worn purposely for this practice, despite her friend's warning. Her blue goggles were perched on her head, and a knife was held tightly in her right hand as she faced her violet-haired opponent.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Teach?" Hitoshi asked nervously as he stood a few feet away. Aisla could already see a bead of sweat forming on his brow, which she suspected had nothing to do with the sun pouring down on him.

"It's not even a real knife," their mentor pointed out, not for the first time. It was a Sunday afternoon, meaning they didn't have classes to attend, and training wasn't "mandatory." But the last time Aisla hadn't shown up for extra practice on a Sunday, she'd been subjected to her teacher's pouting the following day. During class on Monday, she'd seen his glower fixed on her several times as if to remind her of her absence the previous day. That evening, during their normally scheduled training, he'd been too annoyed to so much as look at her. It was equally amusing as it was irritating.

"I'll try not to stab you too hard!" Aisla promised cheerily as she brandished the knife in front of her. It was the size and shape of a dagger but made of thick wood rather than sharp steel. Mr. Aizawa wanted her to work on using support items, and he thought using a dagger would greatly benefit her against a real villain. However, when working alongside classmates, wielding a sharp blade wasn't permitted nor was it something Aisla would be willing to do. She didn't want something bad to accidentally happen.

"If you're too scared, I can step in," Mr. Aizawa offered when Hitoshi kept staring, slack jawed. "Perhaps that would be better anyway. Then, you can observe how to evade physical attacks."

Hitoshi's jaw snapped shut and he took on a more determined expression. "No, I'll do it. I can take on a girl."

Aisla rolled her eyes at his forced arrogance. Hitoshi was almost as insecure as she was when it came to their quirks, and she knew he wasn't as skilled in hand-to-hand combat as the rest of the students in the hero course were. His show of bravado was a way to prove himself not just to Aisla and Mr. Aizawa, but to himself as well. He wanted to live up to the expectations of a hero.

Don't you know you're already a great hero, Hitoshi?

"Alright then, see if you can block this!" Aisla lunged forward, wooden knife pointed straight, aimed right at Hitoshi's right shoulder. She didn't want to hurt him by trying to stab him in the face or stomach, so she aimed at a spot she thought wouldn't take too much damage. As predicted, however, he was able to easily jump out of the way and send a kick in her direction. It came flying toward her much faster than she'd anticipated, forcing her to stumble backward and nearly drop her weapon.

"Watch yourself, Miss Haru!" Mr. Aizawa chastised from the sidelines. "You need to always keep a firm grip on your weapon. Don't let your opponent find a weak spot in you or you're done for. Make them believe that you have all the power, whether that's true or not. Psych them out if you must."

Aisla nodded and tightened her hold on the hilt as she raced forward, watching Hitoshi's expression and body language to try and get an idea of where he was going to move. It wasn't easy when he was wearing his Persona Chords, but she could still see his eyes and predict where his body would move. When his gaze flicked right, Aisla pushed forward, hoping to catch him off guard. It was a feint—in seconds, she was colliding with something rough, and then slammed into the ground so hard her bones vibrated in protest.

"Get it together, Miss Haru!" her teacher yelled out. "Watch his expressions!"

I'm trying, she wanted to say, but her teeth were gritted as she struggled to free herself from the branch pinning her to the ground. Her weapon had been thrust from her hand on impact and now lay several feet away, just beyond her reach. She didn't have enough power left to rewind his quirk, and the branch was too heavy for her to move. If she didn't think of something soon, she was going to lose this exercise.

"Just give up, Aisla," Hitoshi taunted as he slowly made his way over to her. "You can't do anything now. You've already lost this round."

"I haven't lost anything!" she shouted, but then her whole body froze, and a sort of haze flooded over her. She could still think, but her body was no longer obeying her commands to move. Her arms flopped onto the ground next to her, and her legs stopped struggling against the heavy branch.

"I win," Hitoshi declared as the weight was lifted from her body, and she was yanked onto her feet. She shook off the daze and looked up into the disapproving red gaze of her mentor, whose quirk created a static shock around them. She shivered under the intense glower he was giving her, then he let out a heavy sigh and his hair fell around his shoulders, eyes returning to their normal dark tone.

"That was terrible," he observed dryly. "You need to work on your physical combat as well as utilizing support items. Maybe a dagger isn't the right fit for you after all…" He trailed off, making Aisla blush from embarrassment.

"Hey, this was the first time I tried using it!" she said defensively, trying not to let her lips form a pout at his obvious disappointment. "I'll do better next time."

"Maybe she needs a scarf," Hitoshi suggested, tugging at his own with a thoughtful expression.

"No," Mr. Aizawa said with finality. "She doesn't need a scarf."

"How about ninja stars then?" she added hopefully.

He turned another scowl her way. "No."

She deflated. "Aw, you get all the cool stuff!"

"Just practice using the wooden dagger for now," he advised. "Maybe we'll find something better suited to your particular needs later on. You two keep working on combat for today. We'll pick up with quirk training tomorrow."

"Wait, you're leaving?" Hitoshi asked as their mentor started walking away.

He turned a raised brow their way. "I do have a job, you know. One that doesn't involve the two of you." His gaze shifted to Aisla as if just remembering she was in his class. She offered him a winning smile, but he rolled his eyes in return. "I have to grade papers," he finished. "Practice without me."

Aisla slumped. "But it's not as fun when you're not here!"

"Yeah," Hitoshi agreed, "who's going to yell at us when we're being stupid?"

"And who's going to tell us 'good job' when we do something great?" Aisla put in.

"Who's going to kick our asses into gear when we—"

"God, just shut up!" Mr. Aizawa moaned, running a hand through his hair. "I have to work, okay? You two will be just fine on your own. You've done it before."

Despite his words, their mentor made no further moves to leave. He simply folded his arms over his chest and pressed his lips into a firm line. Aisla hid a smile as she turned back to Hitoshi with her weapon. He was already geared up for another attack, though this time he was on the offensive. Apparently, his early worries had vanished when Aisla failed to land a hit on him.

Before Aisla could even raise her weapon, Hitoshi was running toward her at top speed, hands raising the scarf around his neck. He was either going to try and capture her with it, or use it to wrap around another weapon to incapacitate her, like he'd done with the branch. Usually, the latter was Hitoshi's preferred method, but with Aisla holding a fake knife, he might decide wrapping her up was the easiest option.

"Watch his movements, Aisla!" Mr. Aizawa called out as she took on a defensive stance. She could use her quirk to mirror his attack, but they'd already been out here for over two hours, and exhaustion always made her quirk less reliable. Besides, Mr. Aizawa wanted her to try using support items. If she didn't put any effort into practice, then she'd never learn to use them properly.

Hitoshi barreled toward her, getting closer the longer she hesitated. After another second of thought, Aisla crouched, then bounded into the air with a graceful flip. With the dagger held out in front of her, Aisla twisted in the air so she was facing Hitoshi, then aimed the tip right over his back. He wouldn't have time to turn around before her knife hit him; she was moving fast, just like Midoriya taught her. She could feel her muscles protesting the movement she wasn't used to performing, but she was still able to get some decent height before she started plummeting toward Hitoshi's exposed back.

She let out a battle cry as she watched the tip of the wood come near him, then felt the breath leave her body all at once as something wrapped around her and yanked her back with so much force she went flying across the field. She was airborne for an immeasurable amount of time, bringing her back to the provisional license exams when she'd been thrust into the air from that girl's tornado. She braced herself for impact once more and hoped it was less painful than last time.

"Dammit!" she heard someone curse, but the rest of the words were lost to the wind as Aisla slammed into the hard ground and blacked out.

Aisla woke with a pained groan as a jackhammer slammed inside of her skull. Her hands lifted to clutch the sides of her head as if that would somehow keep her brain inside. For a moment, she couldn't remember what happened or where she was, but then the memory of being thrown across the clearing flooded into her mind and made her head throb even harder.

Aisla peeled open her eyes and was surprised to find the sun was already dipping below the horizon, turning the sky a dark amber. How long had she been out?

"Aisla, thank god you're okay!"

She opened her eyes further and turned to find Hitoshi hovering over her, face full of concern. "Hoshi?" she said, wondering why he was so worried. Did she look that bad?

"I'm so sorry, Aisla!" he exclaimed, eyes wide with panic. "I let go of the scarf without meaning to. I never meant to throw you like that. I thought I had better control—"

"Move." Mr. Aizawa's face appeared next to Hitoshi's, and even though he did a fair job of masking any sort of emotion from her, she could still clearly see the anxiety reflected in his dark eyes as he looked down at her. "Are you okay, Miss Haru?" he asked. "You didn't appear to have any serious injuries, so I told Shinso not to move you just yet. Does anything hurt?"

"My head hurts," she responded as she assessed her body for any further issues. "I think I might have landed on my ankle when I fell. It feels pretty bad, too."

"Let me see it." Mr. Aizawa's face disappeared, then pain shot through her body as he picked up her injured ankle. She bit her lip to stifle a cry, but a small hiss escaped her lips before she could stop it. "Sorry," he murmured, then carefully set down her ankle. "I think it's just sprained. Recovery Girl should be able to fix that easily. Do you want us to take you there now?"

"Can you wait a little longer?" Aisla asked as tears filled her eyes.

"I…sure," her teacher answered softly. She heard him settle in by her feet as she tried to get control of her tears before she started sobbing. It wasn't the pain making her so emotional, but the feeling of ineptitude. Without her quirk, Aisla was completely useless in a battle. If she went up against someone with a mask, or someone like Hitoshi with a mind quirk, she'd be knocked out cold in seconds with no ability to help anyone. How could she ever hope to become a hero if she couldn't manage to wield a simple wooden knife?

"Are you in that much pain?" Hitoshi asked, guessing that her injuries were the source of her tears. She shook her head and buried her face in her hands so they wouldn't have to see how pathetic she was being.

"That's not the problem," Mr. Aizawa said slowly. "Miss Haru…Aisla…" She peeked through her fingers at the sound of her given name. Mr. Aizawa moved closer to Hitoshi once more and peered down at her with an unreadable expression. "Did I ever tell you…it took me six years to master my support item?" He tugged on the scarf around his neck as if to emphasize what he was talking about. "I was horrible with it; I couldn't do anything when I was your age." A bitter smile lifted the corners of his lips. "Trust me, Aisla, when it comes to quirks, you've already surpassed where I was at this stage in life. I was useless, and no one wanted to train with me."

"Why not?" Hitoshi murmured. Aisla wondered the same thing. Their teacher was one of the greatest heroes in this world, at least as far as Aisla was concerned. He was no All Might, but Eraser Head had made a name for himself, too, and she'd always admired him and respected him.

"Because I was a loser," he answered with an eye roll. "Trust me, both of you, I had no idea how to use my quirk, nor did I have any assistance in learning how to make it better. That's why I've devoted so much time to helping the two of you. You may be a couple of misfits, but I can see the raw talent you both possess, and I know with a little bit of guidance, you'll both flourish in no time."

"But what if…what if I can't do it?" Aisla whispered, remembering her failed attempts at handling the knife. "What if I fail?"

"What if you can do it?" he retorted, gaze unwavering. "What if you succeed?"

Aisla considered this. Her self-confidence had been a lot better in the last few months, but she still had moments of weakness, like today. With each failure, she was reminded of the pathetic, useless girl who could never become a real hero.

"I know how you feel, too…" Hitoshi's quiet voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned toward him and found his gaze fixed somewhere in the distance. "Everyone has always looked down on my quirk. They see it as something villainous and wrong. You don't know how many people have asked me not to turn them into slaves, or suggested that I could never be a hero with a quirk like mine."

His gaze flicked back down to Aisla's, and in those violet eyes she saw sorrow and understanding. "People like you and I, and Mr. A, too, we don't have powerful quirks that lend well to battles, but that doesn't mean that we can't be powerful. We can be useful, too. Look at Eraser Head. He's your favorite hero, right?" Aisla nodded slowly. "He can't produce fire or blast an enemy into oblivion, but he always gets the villain and helps his comrades. You and I can do the same thing one day, and with a badass mentor on our side, we'll be able to do so much more than anyone could ever imagine. They see us as useless, they tell us our quirks are better suited to sidekicks than heroes. Let's prove them all wrong, Aisla. Let's show everyone that there's far more to a defensive quirk user than just someone's sidekick. We, too, can be heroes."

"That's right," Mr. Aizawa agreed fiercely. "I won't let you two fail."

Aisla finally swallowed back her remaining tears and forced herself to sit up, taking in the two companions before her. One with a dark piercing gaze, the other with soft, reassuring eyes. Each of them offered encouragement in their own way, and helped Aisla to overcome her doubts. Mr. Aizawa with his infinite wisdom and patience, and Hitoshi with his empathy and friendship.

Aisla offered them a weak smile as she wiped tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry for getting emotional again," she said. "I want to be strong like the two of you, but I guess I still have a ways to go."

"That's not true," Hitoshi disagreed with a crooked smile of his own. "You're strong, too, Aisla. Way stronger than you give yourself credit for. Look at how far you've come just since the three of us started training together, and then tell me you're not strong."

He was right. When Aisla first came to UA, she'd been pathetic and unable to do little more than reflect back an attack the size of a softball. Now, she could do so much more than that. Now, she had earned her provisional hero license and could help those in need.

I will help those in need, she silently promised as Hitoshi helped her to her feet. I will become a hero.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Katsuki asked with an amused twinkle in his eye. Aisla stood outside his door after her trip to see Recovery Girl. The older woman fixed up her ankle but there was still notable bruising on her face. Recovery Girl could have made those go away, but at the expense of Aisla's energy, which was already severely lacking after hours of training. So, she'd deal with the slight throbbing in her skull for now. She was already so tired she could keel over at any minute.

"Practice," she explained as she stepped inside and flopped onto the bed. Katsuki shut the door behind her before sliding his desk chair over to sit in front of her. Aisla lay back on the mattress and closed her eyes as exhaustion took over. "I'm tired…"

Katsuki chuckled softly. "You can sleep if you want. I'll be quiet."

"I don't want to sleep," she whined, eyes opening just enough to peer up at him. His stunning red eyes bore into her own. "Lay with me?" She reached forward, desperate to grasp onto him, this boy she loved. His lips turned upward as he pushed from the chair and moved forward. He climbed onto the bed and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her as he placed a kiss against her hair.

"How was training?" he asked her, fingers gently caressing the side of her arm and making her sleepy.

"Mmm," she hummed as her eyes drifted closed once more. "It was hard. Mr. Aizawa doesn't let up."

"My poor girl," he murmured against her neck, lips pressing down for another kiss. "What were you working on today?"

Aisla tried to remember as her body relaxed and sleep threatened to pull her under. She blinked her eyes, forcing herself to stay awake so she could keep talking to him, but she was already so worn out that her eyes felt like lead, and she couldn't keep them open for more than a moment.

"It's okay…" he whispered, wrapping himself tighter around her so their whole bodies were touching. "You can sleep, sweetheart."

She let out a pleased sigh. "I like that," she breathed and snuggled into him. "I like it when you call me sweet names."

"Really?" he asked, no trace of humor in his tone. "It doesn't sound…I don't know, stupid when I say it?"

"I love it," she reiterated. "You're sweet, Katsuki."

"I'm trying…" he said softly, then kissed her shoulder. "Go to sleep now. You're exhausted."

"Yeah…" she agreed, already drifting off. "Stay with me, Katsuki…"

"Always, baby," he breathed. "I'm not leaving."

A/N: I have a confession, guys... The chapter you have just read... is actually chapter seventy-six. So, WHY have I completely skipped chapter 75? Well, you see... as I've mentioned several times before: I wrote these chapters MONTHS AGO, some of them over a year ago. The chapter I had written as 75 was from Shoto's POV. Reading back as I was editing it to be posted this week, I realized that it was unnecessary and a little bit BORING. So rather than subject you guys to content that doesn't really need to be there, I just went on to the next chapter. You didn't miss out on anything important, don't worry! I may post it as an EC after the fic is done, but for now it's gone from this world. Goodbye, Shoto's chapter! I'm actually kind of glad I passed on it because this was a much better chapter. Way funnier and more entertaining as a whole. I hope you all enjoyed it!