Slipped Away

by hotsodagirl

I've had my wake up. Won't you wake up? Now you're gone, there you go, somewhere you're not coming back. Ryan and Sharpay fic, NOT twincest, and Troypay

Slipped Away

by hotsodagirl

Summary: I've had my wake up. Won't you wake up? Now you're gone, there you go; somewhere you're not coming back.

Rating: T for blood, suicidal thoughts, death, and mild language

Genre: Tragedy/Spiritual

Sodagirl Says: I thought this up listening to this song one day, but I didn't start writing it until one day when I actually felt pretty upset and I thought, 'Let's use these negative feelings to inspire you to write a sad story!' And here it is: Slipped Away. Warning: There is character death. It's mentioned right at the beginning, too. It's quite sad, actually. Also, as in pretty much all of my stories, this one includes Troypay! Right until the very end, too, so don't be fooled when you think the Troypay is gone! I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. R&R!

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I miss you

Miss you so bad

I didn't believe them when they called me. "Your brother is dying," they said, calm and anxious at the same time. I yelled at them to stop playing jokes on me; you had been sitting next to me only five minutes ago, just before you stormed off in an angry rage and left me in an equal manner. You said you needed some time by yourself, and I let you go. The possibility that you could be dying didn't exist in my mind. But our parents weren't known to be liars. Still, I didn't believe them. I hung up on them, complaining to our friends how much I hated it when people messed with my head. They didn't reply; they were still in shock over our big argument. I said nothing for the rest of the lunch period, scribbling furiously in my journal instead.

'I am so mad at Ryan right now. He's always trying to tell me what to do! I remember when he used to do everything I told him to do, but ever since Montez showed up and turned the school around he's gotten a backbone. That's okay and all, but he has no right to tell me who I can and can't date! Troy and I love each other and he's just going to have to get that through his thick head!'

But now I miss you.

I don't forget you

Oh it's so sad

I first started to worry when you never showed up after lunch. I remembered what our parents had told me, but I was still stubborn and ignorant, choosing to believe you were just skipping class or something. All day long, people kept asking me, "Where's Ryan?" I would always reply by snapping that I didn't know and I really didn't give a damn about where the hell you were. Oh how wrong I was.

It first started to hit me that something was really wrong when I saw Mom and Dad waiting for me by the front office after school. I knew they never came to pick either of us up unless something major had happened. They were always too busy working. But now Mom was crying, and Dad looked like he was just trying his hardest to stay composed in public. I rushed up to them, Troy at my side looking very uncomfortable.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice icy yet full of worry. Mom began to cry harder and had to turn away as Dad put his hand on my shoulder. All my life, I had seen him as this big strong man. I thought nothing could make him break down. But when I looked into his eyes, I knew I had been wrong.

"Shar..." he started, his voice quavering. "Ryan was in a car accident. He really is dying." I felt my body tremble, and then suddenly go limp. Troy caught me and held me in his arms while I bawled loudly, staining the front of his shirt with my tears.

"No!" I screamed, not caring about anyone outside of our circle. "He can't be... he just can't... I was just talking to him at lunch... we still have so much to do in life! He's too young; he can't die!"

I heard our parents sobbing beside me, and I even felt Troy's body shaking as he tried to be strong for me. My life changed in an instant; all our hopes and dreams evaporated in that single moment. Every memory of our childhood flooded back to me, and my mind frantically reached out for them as the need to preserve those memories became a vital priority. All of the things we had done... we would never be able to do them again if you left me behind for good.

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

Ten minutes later, we had arrived in front of the hospital with the help of our limo driver. I leaped out of the vehicle at the first chance I got, falling on the pavement and scraping my knee. I ignored the pain; or rather I didn't feel it all because of the numbness that had overtaken my body. I quickly picked myself up and ran into the emergency waiting room. The doctor, seeing our parents coming in behind me, nodded in my direction and proceeded to walk down a hallway to a room labeled 'INTENSIVE CARE.'

"He can only handle one person at a time," the doctor said calmly, as if he couldn't care less about the family of a dying man. I looked urgently from him to our parents. They took a step back, signaling for me to go inside. I desperately wanted to enter, but I suddenly found myself frozen in place. I couldn't move. I couldn't stand to see you lying on your deathbed.

It was Troy that gave me literally the push I needed, shoving me gently on the shoulder. "Your brother needs you," he said compassionately. I nodded, unaware of the thin lines of tears that ran down my cheeks as I stepped into the room.

It was dark inside, but you were illuminated by a single-bulb light that shone above your head. That light showed me everything I didn't want to see about you. All of your hair was gone; it appeared to have been burnt off. Your face was disfigured to such a great extent that I hardly recognized you. I only knew it was you because of the aching in my heart. I tried not to focus on the way you looked, but there were only two other things to focus on. They were two noises: The slow, steady beat of the heart monitor beside you and the rough, heavy sound of your breathing into an oxygen mask. I felt myself quiver, but I willed myself to step closer, closer, one step at a time until I was at your side. I kneeled next to the hospital bed, clasping both of my small hands around one of your bigger ones.

"Ryan?" I whispered. There was no response. Again, I tried calling your name, squeezing your hand this time. "Ryan... Ryan please wake up..." My hushed voice trailed off as I felt another wave of tears coming on. I held them back, afraid you would disappear if I cried. I inhaled deeply, exhaled, closed my eyes to make myself as calm as humanly possible. I opened my eyes again, risking another look at you.

"Ryan... Ryan, I hope you can hear me, because this is important. We shouldn't have been fighting. It was stupid; all of our fights are stupid! But Ryan... you can't leave me... Please don't leave me..." I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I sobbed, allowing the fresh tears to flow down my face. I couldn't look at you anymore. You were dying, and there was nothing I could do about it. I looked around the dark room, searching madly for something else to focus my attention on. But there was nothing. There was only you, your strained breathing, the heart monitor, and...

"Sh... Sh..." I looked back to you when I heard this noise. Your eyes, halfway open and twitching, were struggling to keep you conscious. Your grip tightened around my hands as you continued to repeat the same sound, the sound that began my name. You wanted to tell me something. I leaned closer to you, clutching your hand as if it were the only thing that could help you stay alive.

"What, Ryan? Tell me, please."

"Sh... I... Sh..." Suddenly, you were immobilized. The twitching stopped, your grip loosened, and you had a far away look in your eyes. My ringing ears drowned out all other noises. I sensed the door open behind me, and doctors and nurses abruptly began to rush into the room. One nurse pushed a button on your heart monitor, and my ears stopped ringing. Only then did I realize my ears had never been ringing. The heart monitor had been making a single, monotonous tone that only meant one thing.

You were dead.

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found

It won't be the same

"Have you seen the Ice Queen lately?"

"You mean Ice Bitch!"

"Oh my God, yes! She looks horrible!"

"Who knew she was so dependent on her brother?"

"I know, right? I always thought it was the other way around!"

"That's so true!"

"You guys, shut up; she's coming!"

The cheerleaders scurried out of my way as I walked down the hallway one morning, pretending they had never noticed me. That would have been an impossible occurrence; everyone had taken notice of me. It had only been a week since you had died, yet it already felt like an eternity. I had taken advantage of your presence in my life, not realizing how important you truly were until you were gone.

After you died, you affected my life if every way possible. Each restless night was haunted with dreams of you. I could see you; you were always right in front of me. But every time I tried to approach you would disappear, and I would wake myself up screaming your name. Consequently, I had hardly slept since that horrible day.

Two days following your death, I broke up with Troy. You didn't want me to date him, and you always knew what was best for me. I'm sure he would have broken up with me soon enough either way, so I figured it was better for everyone to just get it over with. After all, who would want to date a girl mopey and depressed as I had been? Your death and my splitting up with Troy were the talk of the school.

I didn't get around to kiss you

Goodbye on the hand

I stepped into the theater, holding my breath. The room was empty. I walked down the aisle, looking slowly around the room. It hadn't happened yet, but I knew it would. I came in here every morning, and every morning it had happened. But there was always the chance that maybe this morning was different. Maybe I would make it all the way to my dressing room before-

"This feeling's like no other – I want you to know…"

I turned and looked frantically toward the stage, and for a split second it happened. There you stood, microphone in one hand, hat in the other.

"Ryan!" I yelled. You smiled mischievously at me as I began to run toward you, and then vanished. Still, I rushed to the spot you once stood, flinging myself to the floor.

"Why, Ryan?!" I cried, feeling warm tears spring to my eyes. "Why did you have to desert me?! How could you just take the easy way out and leave me behind?! It's not fair!" Sobbing, I beat my fist on the stage, frustrated with myself and with the world. Life wasn't fair; you hadn't done anything to deserve to depart from this world so early. And what had bothered me most was…

"I never got to say goodbye…" I whispered.

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

I sniffed and wiped my eyes as I entered my dressing room twenty minutes later, just beginning to recover from my outburst. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed I looked no different than I had the entire week. My hair was a mess, my clothes were just things I had thrown on, my eyes were red and teary, and my make-up was nonexistent after being washed away with tears so many times. You would have been disgraced to see me in such a state.

"Don't look so sad Shar," you said, your image standing behind me in the mirror. I glared at you through our reflection, knowing you would disappear if I turned around. You continued to display your goofy grin, mocking me. You were in a better place; I was practically in hell and you knew it.

I hope you can hear me

'Cause I remember it cleary

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found

It won't be the same

"Damn it, Ryan!" I screamed, picking up one of my drama trophies and flinging it into the mirror. The glass shattered on impact, shards scattering across the room. I sank to the floor, placing my elbows on the dresser and hiding my face between my arms. Looking down at the floor, one of the destroyed pieces reflected the light from the ceiling fan and caught my eye. I sat up slowly and crawled at the same sluggish pace over to the thin slice. I held it at eye's length, examining myself. I winced, and looked down to find a tiny shard sticking out of my knee. Holding it firmly with two fingers, I plucked it out, still numb and not feeling the pain. Suddenly the shard in my other hand didn't look so bad.

I've had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why

What was the world without you? You were my only reason for living, and you were gone. What was I still doing on this planet? I felt lost, confused, as if I shouldn't have been there. Without you, I was no one. You might not have known it, but you were more than just "Sharpay's brother." You were more important than you ever could have imagined. How could I ever think I could live without you?

I can't take it

It wasn't fake

It happened you passed by

I jumped when I heard the bell ring, but I didn't make a single move toward the door. I couldn't go to class; I could never face those people again. You were the only one who had ever truly cared about me. I had made up my mind: I couldn't stand to live in a world without you. Throwing the glass to the side, I crawled once again, this time to my messenger bag beside the door. Opening it, I dumped all its contents to the floor, spreading everything out until I found what I was looking for.

A medicine bottle.

I had been sick months before. The doctor gave me a prescription, but warned me to only take one pill a day until I was better. An overdose would be deadly, he said. Looking into the half empty bottle, I screwed the top off bit by bit. It eventually popped off, falling to the floor. I took no notice of it. I tilted the bottle; watched the pills tumble into my hand. Then the bottle was empty, and I popped the entire handful into my mouth, swallowing. I waited for them to take effect, and gradually felt myself withdrawing from the world as I fell backwards, changing from the position of sitting up to collapsed on the floorboards.

And there you were, kneeling over me. This time, unlike the others, you looked sad. You reached out and stroked my hair, but still I couldn't feel you. I tried to speak.

"Ry…" But it was too late, and I became unconscious.

Now you're gone

Now you're gone

After what felt like hours of slumber, my eyes slowly opened, an action only proven by my sense of feeling for it was pitch black in every direction I looked. Even the floor, or what I thought was the floor, beneath me was black, blending in with the surrounding darkness. There was nothing and no one here, not a single person, object, or color.

'Where am I?' I wondered, propping myself up on my elbows and closing my eyes again. As mysterious as my environment was, I somehow felt a sense of peacefulness and tranquility – as if I was in a dream where nothing could reach me and no one could hurt me.

A dream.

Shar…

There you go

There you go

My eyes opened once more, this time shooting open, and I quickly hurried to my feet. The setting was still the same – darkness – but I had heard your voice. You were here; I just had to find you.

"Ryan!" I called, looking around to see the continual obscurity.

Shar…

It was faint, but I heard it. Your voice had definitely come from my right. I turned to the direction I thought you might have been at and called again.

"Ryan!"

Shar…

This time there was more than a voice. Somewhere far off, a light had shone when you had spoken. You stood under that light. But, as easily as it had come, it had disappeared after a short second and I only had my memory and my blinded senses to guide me.

"Ryan!" I yelled, immediately breaking into a run toward where I had seen the beam. The area stayed dark as ever, but I felt myself growing closer to you. I could feel you inside my heart. I was almost upon you, and in only a few steps…

My feet had been hitting the ground beneath at almost a constant pace, but then it happened. My left foot came down and touched nothing. There was no ground, just empty space. I found myself slipping, falling, and I did the first logical thing that came to mind.

I screamed.

Somewhere I can't bring you back

"Ow!" I cried, hitting something hard as I landed. I opened my eyes, only then realizing I had closed them as I fell. My mouth fell open as I surveyed my new location. I was in a hospital room; I had landed on a hospital bed. The room appeared to be normal, aside from two distinctive qualities. The first was that there seemed to be people in the room, in the form of dim, shadowy blobs. The other was the fact that everything from the walls to the bed beneath me was discolored, almost a murky olive shade. I wrinkled my nose in revulsion.

"Not every room can be as bright and pink as your bedroom, Shar." A voice said knowingly.

I hesitated before turning my head, wondering if what I had heard was another one of my mind tricks. But when I looked, there you stood, smiling as if you were recalling a humorous joke that only you knew about. You had been leaning casually against what should have been a heart monitor, had this been a true hospital room, but stood upright when my eyes met yours.

"Ryan…" I tried to stand, sit up, anything, but found I couldn't move. I seemed to be lying paralyzed on that bed. You chuckled at my futile attempts.

"You can't get up, you know. At least, not until you wake up."

"Until I wake up?" I repeated your words, confused. I felt as alert as could be, and yet at the same time as serene as I had felt in the dark we had been in before. Was I awake or asleep? Or – I gasped, a thought coming to mind – was I dead? You laughed when I asked you this.

"No, Shar, you're not dead. I am."

Now you're gone

Now you're gone

Your last two words put a knife through my heart as I recalled what had happened the week before. You looked so alive; I had almost forgotten you had passed away.

"Wait," I said, another notion running through my head. "If you're dead and I'm not, how can we be talking right now?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but then a strange thing happened. You flinched, seemingly in pain, then held your hands to the sides of your head. Your body jerked and you began to pace side to side, trying to hinder the spasms. Meanwhile, the blob-like bodies around us moved, rushing to your side.

"Ryan? Ryan, what's going on?" I asked worriedly.

"I'm… I'm – fine," you grunted, holding your hand out to the blobs. They backed slightly away, still staying somewhat nearby. Soon the twitching stopped and you stood still for a moment, your head hanging as you breathed heavily in a manner similar to someone who had just run ten miles.

"Ryan?" I asked again. You looked up, smiling.

"Sorry. It's not… easy – for us to be here, I mean," you said, as if your vague statement made all the sense in the world.

"Ryan, what do you mean? Where are we?"

"We're…" You hesitated, looking around the answer for some sort of nonexistent clue. You shook your head when you found nothing. "I don't know where we are. I just know it's somewhere in between our worlds. The living world, and… well, my world."

"Heaven?" I asked, and you nodded.

"I guess you could call it that." You kneeled next to my bed, taking my hand. Unlike our interaction before I had passed out, I could actually feel the warmth of your hand, and it comforted me. "Listen, Shar," you continued. "I've been watching you this past week, and I can't say I like what I've seen. You're not taking care of yourself like you used to. It's like you don't even care about your life anymore."

"I don't," I said, reluctant to say any more when I saw the crestfallen look on your face produced by my statement.

"Shar, you shouldn't think like that. It was my time to go, and you still have so much time left-"

"But I don't want to have that much time!" I yelled, feeling myself beginning to cry. "I… I just want to be with you. You're the only person that cares about me…"

"That's not true," you said, wiping salty tears away from my face. "Troy cares about you. He always has and I know he still does, even after you broke up with him."

"I thought you didn't want me to see him," I said, perplexed when you smiled at me once again.

"I know I said that, but… does what I said back then really matter now? You know, I heard what you said to me in the hospital the day I died. You were right; we shouldn't have been fighting. It was stupid, but we can't do anything about that now. Shar, I didn't want to leave you behind but I knew I had to. That's just the way things are. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but we have no power over either of our fates. It had to leave then, and… I have to leave now."

There you go

There you go

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling tears building up once more. "You don't mean you have to leave… for good, right? I mean, you'll still come back and talk to me like this, right? Ryan, you can't…" I trailed off when I saw your body shaking, your own eyes beginning to water.

"I'm sorry, Shar, but it's just not possible. Once you wake up, I'm leaving permanently. I'm not allowed to communicate with you ever again."

"What?!" I exclaimed, my voice cracking. "No, Ryan… That's not fair! I don't want you to leave me. We… We were supposed to stay together forever. Ryan, I can't live without you!" I sobbed, and you put your arms around me in a deep embrace.

"Yes, yes you can, Shar. You have to; you still have such a life ahead of you! I may not be able to talk to you, but… I will always be with you in your heart. I'll always watch over you, and I'll wait patiently until the day we can be together again."

"In heaven?" I asked, looking into your sky blue eyes. You smiled.

"Yeah. So will you promise me to live out your life to the fullest, knowing that I'm always by your side?"

I hesitated, but had no other choice but to answer, "I promise."

"Good," you said. "And Shar?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Fresh tears fell down my cheeks as I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I love you, too," I whispered. You pushed a piece of my bangs to the side, setting it in its proper place.

Somewhere you're not coming back

"I'll miss you," you murmured, almost inaudibly. You stood, then, out of the blue, leaned over and kissed my lips. Immediately I felt things change. Although my eyes were closed, the room seemed to revert to its original color and form. The blobs turned into real people, our friends Gabriella, Chad, Taylor, Zeke, Kelsi, and Jason. And then you weren't you anymore.

Sensing that I could now move, I lifted my arms and wrapped them around Troy's neck as he kissed me passionately. He placed his hands firmly on my back and helped me to sit up, our lips not breaking apart until I could sit solidly on my own. Even then he kept his arms around me, smiling with thankful tears in his eyes.

"Oh God…" he mumbled, running one hand up and down the length of my back. "You're alive…"

It seemed to be all he could say, and only then did I realize that those around the two of us were in the same shocked, speechless, yet grateful state as he was. I tilted my head in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be alive?"

"You were found passed out in your dressing room," Troy said, sounding astonished that I would even ask such a question. "You were brought here and the doctors did everything they could for you but… you were pronounced dead ten minutes ago. We thought you were gone for good."

"Not for good..." I said, amazing even myself when I smiled and looked down to the ring on my finger you gave me on our birthday last year. "I just went to a place that's… between the worlds of the living and the dead."

I knew if I had looked at anyone's face, it would have told me they thought I was probably crazy. So instead I pulled the ring off, as well as my necklace, and slid the ring onto the chain before fastening it back around my neck. It was the perfect length, for the ring fell to exactly where my heart was. It never moved.

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found

It won't be the same

"… and Chad Danforth dribbles the ball down the court, dodging all of West High's players. He passes to Troy Bolton, Bolton shoots, and-" A buzzer rang out. "East High wins the championship game for the second year in a row!" The crowd erupted into cheers. Screaming, I ran out onto the court and jumped into Troy's arms. He laughed, swinging me around in circles and giving me a quick kiss before the rest of the team rushed over with the trophy.

"Troy, Troy, Troy…" The group of people around us chanted. Laughing, he raised the trophy into the air and whooped enthusiastically.

"What team?" Chad yelled.

"Wildcats!" the rest of the team and I yelled back.

"What team?"

"Wildcats!"

"What team?"

"Wildcats!"

"Wildcats!"

"Get'cha head in the game!"

It had been almost a year since you had died, but things had changed for the better since our final conversation. Troy and I had resumed our relationship and my personality did a 180 degree turn from the depression it had been throughout the week proceeding your death. After all, you had told me to live out my life to the fullest, and you had always known what was best for me. That didn't mean I didn't have my off-days, but I was in a much better condition than I had been.

Yet as the gym began to empty out, I began to walk aimlessly away from the doors all other individuals moved towards. Pulling on my necklace chain, I withdrew from my shirt the ring I had been wearing for the past year and stared at it intensely. It was my most valued possession, and I found myself taking it out to look at several times each day. Somehow, it helped remind me that you were always there, and you were always watching over me.

"Sharpay!" I turned, still holding the ring in my hand, as I heard Troy call my name. He waved his hand, gesturing for me to go to him. "The rest of us are leaving for the after party. Are you coming with us?" Hesitating, I looked down to the ring in my hand, then smiled as I slipped it back inside my shirt and ran over to my boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" Troy grinned back at me, slipping his arm around my waist as I met him, and together we walked slowly toward the exit. By that time we were the only ones left in the room, and just before we went through the doors I looked over my shoulder to the empty gymnasium. For a split second, I could have sworn I saw you standing in center court, smiling out at me.

But then again, it could have just been my imagination.

I miss you…

Sodagirl Says: -is dead- :P Just kidding. That just took me a really long time to write. But I think it was worth it. Honestly, I really liked it :D Please let me know what you think! I mean, personally, I love Ryan and Sharpay brother-sister, sweetness-type stories, so I hope you all liked it too! Thanks for reading!