This is probably the second to last chapter in less I think of something else to put up here. enjoy the chappies! oh yeah and that whole post-surgery stress thing is just an excuse I came up with so pretend it's real just for this story, okee dokee?
I let the words that my dad just said to me seep in.
"What? Why daddy?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"He went in to another emergency surgery. He should be out now if everything went well," dad explained. I nodded and pulled away from the hug and grabbed my stuff, as dad lead me out the door.
"Why is he in emergency surgery daddy?" I asked whipping my tears as we pulled out of the parking lot in his convertable.
"They found some of the tumor had spread across his brain to the other side of his skull. It sounds like there may be more to come, if... if he's okay after this one," he said. I broke into hysterics of tears. I was sick and tired of the word, 'if''. do you know what we can make from the word if? There is a whole nother dimension for it, but people use it as freely as possible without thinking. If is the most meaningless word in the English dictionary, but quite possibly the strongest.
"What do you mean if?" I asked.
Dad didn't respond. He just put his right hand on my knee and focused on the road ahead of us to the hospital. I put my MP3 player headphones in so I wouldn't have to focus on anything in dads world. I wanted him to be oblivious and isolated to my world for now, because honestly, I feel isolated from everyone's world right now. Why would fate chose Jake? Jake is so caring and sweet. Why is it always the good ones first?
I listened to I learned from you sung by my dad and I, until we got to the hospital. Daddy dropped me off, and I put my MP3 player in my backpack, and brought it with. Dad went to go look for a parking space, but finally gave up and let the valet do dads job. He walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulder, then directed me to the elevators and a new room in an Intensive (sp) Care room that was new to me. Jake had a bandage wrapped around his head, the same I.V. and heart tracker, but now he was scary pale and had black eyes, like someone punched him.
As soon as I saw him I gasped, and turned right back around into dads stomach, crying from finding out how horrible it really was. I knew Jake wasn't going to make it. He looked horrible. But maybe I should ask a doctor what really was going on.
"It's alright baby doll," dad said making me go into Jakes room and sit down by him. Jake was breathing heavily through his mouth, even though he had the tubes going through his nose, which i think was to give him oxygen.
"Please Miley," he started. He took a long breath. "Don't be scared."
"i'll be right back, I got some business to take care of," dad said getting up and leaving. I looked back at Jake in the hospital bed.
"So uh... where's your parents?" I asked.
"Getting me some food from the nurses. All I can have is ice and liquidy stuff," Jake said.
"Oh Jake I'm so sorry," I apologized. I didn't know why, but I felt like I should.
"Miley never blame yourself okay?" he asked.
"Well... are you atleast getting better?" I asked.
Jake nodded, but than shrugged like I had yesterday.
"I actually don't know. Nobody does. Nobody will until tomorrow, when I come out of another emergency surgery. I still have more tumor to get, but they said that this will be last surgery," Jake informed.
"Jake is there any chance that you... couldn't... get better?" I asked. Jake kinda tuned me out for a second, like he was looking for the right answer, or didn't wanna hear the question. Then he sighed.
"I dunno. But I know that I'll be fine. They say it might develop again, but I know that I'll be fine eventually. I dunno about how many surgeries it'll take though, but I'll be just fine. You'll see, I'll be back on Zombie High in no time," he said.
I wanted so badly to believe him. So, so badly. But I couldn't. Not just yet. Not until he left these hospital walls.
"Hey listen Miley. The doctors said that for me to heal better, I need to go somewhere like, to see friends and what not. I was thinking, maybe you would help me visit my friends in the school?" he asked.
"What? They want you to leave this place? Jake you're in Intensive Care and they say the best thing for you is to go see people outside of the hospital?" I asked.
"They said that familiar surroundings will trigger a chemical balance in my brain that will help with post-surgery stress or something like that," he said.
"Yeah... um... I should talk to a doctor about that first though shouldn't I?" I asked.
"Well yeah," he said. He pulled white string. Within a few moments a nurse walked in.
"Do you need any help Jake?" she asked.
"No, um, I was just wondering when I get to go see my friends and such," he said.
"Oh, well after your parents sign some stuff and help you, you will have two hours to go see people," she said.
"Okay, well where are they?" he asked.
"They're just down the hall. Here they come," she answered, allowing them in the door.
"Hey Jake, you ready? Did you explain it to Miley here yet?" his mom asked.
"Yeah. Will you help me Miley?" He asked.
"Yeah sure," I said.
"Hey Miles. What's goin on?" dad asked coming in the door.
"We're going to take Jake to see some friends," I answered. Dads face went pale.
"Oh. Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked stepping outside.
"Um... sure," I said going to him. He took me a little ways down the hall to a quiet spot, and than put his hand on my shoulder, indecating that what he was about to say was important.
"Miley, they are taking Jake to see his friends and old surroundings, because they don't know if he will ever see them again," dad told me. I was tearing up now again.
"What?"
"They don't know if he can get past tomorrows surgery. Only one in five people ever survive these odds that Jake is at, but they need to keep him optimistic or his body will stop fighting, and the tumor will swell up causing his skull to fracture, and it could kill him," dad explained.
"Well how could he die from the surgery?" I asked.
"They need to go into his brain. They could easily puncture something in there, or Jake could become a vegetable," dad said.
I was crying uncontrollably.
"I didn't know if I should tell you sweet pea, but I figured you'd rather hear it from me or the nurse," he said hugging me.
"Well thanks dad. I know that you didn't want to hurt me as much that could," I said.
"Well you just gotta remember, Jake may not have many days left, so make this one a great one for him, okay bud?" he asked.
"yeah dad." I whipped off my tears with my sweater sleeves and went back into his room, dad following behind. They had Jake in the wheelchair with his IV pole next to him, and a life support machine to be wheeled by me.
"How do we get the IV in a car?" I asked.
"We're gonna take him in a special van," the nurse said.
"Are you ready mom?" Jake asked.
"I'm not going honey," she said.
"What?" Jake and I asked.
"It's just gonna be you two, that way you can really see your friends without an embarrassing parent along," she said.
"Makes since to me. Just kidding mom," he said hugging her good bye.
"Are you ready to go Jake?" the nurse asked.
He nodded. "Yup."
I wheeled the life support machine and Jake waved good bye for now. We got to the elevator while talking about where we wanted to go.
"Well, I need to see Lilly, Oliver, and Mr. Inneman," Jake said. Mr Inneman had survived a brain tumor before, so I know that Jake would really like to see him. I checked my watch.
"They are all at school right now," I said.
"Okay. Oh, and I want to talk to Hannah Montana," he said. I gulped. That won't be so easy. The nurse took us to the hospital van, and we loaded Jake inside, and I sat in a seat right next to him. I didn't know what to say, and then my dads words came back to me. What if Jake really does die? What if this is our last day together?
"Hey Miley-" he started. I looked at him, looking back at me. I quickly went in, and kissed him on the lips for the first time ever since our fight. We pulled apart, cause making out just didn't really seem like something a fourteen year old should have to think about really.
"Bout time," Jake teased. "so now we're totally cool ever since that fight?"
I nodded.
"We've always been cool." I paused. "I just didn't know it then."
Jake and I giggled and we pulled into the school. I helped take him out of the van and checked my watch. It was seventh period. Only two more left when this was over. I took ahold of his life support machine.
"Hey I've got that," Jake said.
"Well than how are you going to get around if one arm has your IV pole, and the other the machine?" I asked. Than I got it. I got behind the wheelchair and pushed him into the school and through the hallways.
"You have science now right? Yeah, with me and Lilly and Oliver," I said. Jake nodded. "Yup." I wheeled him to the science room. As I opened the door, people gasped. Everyone knew somehow about Jake's tumor, probably since I had to leave and people wanted to know.
"Omigosh Jake! Miley! You're back!" Lilly squealed jumping out of her seat and running to hug me. "I was going crazy not knowing why you weren't back yet. I heard all about it from Jakes person to come get homework. I'm so sorry." Everyone began flooding us just like Lilly had. Even Mr. Inneman. They all crowded Jake and asked him questions. Lilly pulled me out of the circle.
"So how does it look?" she asked just as Oliver came to join us.
"He has another surgery tomorrow. My dad said it doesn't look good for him and that only twenty percent will survive the surgery tomorrow. That's why he's here. As a last good bye," I admitted allowing tears to run freely down my cheeks as freely as Lillys, and even Olivers. They both hugged me so we had a threesome hug going on.
"I'm so sorry," the both said. The bell than rang, and all the kids where kicked out of the room by Mr. Inneman for his planning period.
"Hey Miley," Jake called me over there. I started to push his wheelchair out the door, but he stopped me.
"I want to talk to him for a second," he said.
"Oh okay. I'll go wait outside the door. Have him come get me when you're done," I said. He nodded. "Thanks."
I got Lilly and Oliver out of there and into the hallway to talk about the Hannah Montana problem.
"He wants to meet her," I said.
"Tell him you're her," they both said at the same time.
"First of all, no. Second, you guys are seriously perfect together," I said.
"No we're not!" they yelled.
"Just like I said that one time. Stubborn."
"I am not!" they stomped.
"You guys should stop," I said.
"It's not my fault, talk to donut here," they said. "Stop! Geesh."
"Maybe you should just stop talking until you guys aren't saying the same thing," I suggested. They both nodded. Then they rolled their eyes in defeat. I giggled and temporarily forgot about Jake and his tumor. He then came out of the science room door being pushed by Mr. Inneman.
"Let's get going. I'm hungry," Jake said. I nodded.
"Okay, bye guys. Come by the hospital when schools done," I said writing down Jakes room number since they didn't really even get to see him that much. Jake, I noticed, had a few dry tears on his face.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He shook his head, than turned to face me.
"He told me the real reason that I'm here. He said they did the same to him, he was just lucky enough to be the one in five person," Jake said. I hugged him.
"Jake I'm so sorry," I said.
"Whatever, let's just go," he said. I nodded, tears coming down harder. I felt so bad for him, but I knew that he had to be optimistic.
"Ya know if Mr. I can be the one in five person, you can too," I pointed out.
"Yeah I know. God will make me better. God always does," he said.
I nodded. "Yeah he does."
Except my mom. I can't stand to watch another person die from a tumor. We got all the way to the end of the hallway, out the door and to the van without the nurse noticing, who was on her cell waiting at the van with her eyes away from us.
"Yeah, okay I'll get him," she said. She hung up and turned away, startled to see us.
"Oh good you're here. You scared me though. Listen, the doctor is in, and he'd like to get you back to the hospital to do the surgery right away," she said. Jake began crying desperatly, but nodded in defeat. I cried just as much. We loaded him in. I felt so powerless, like I was helping him die. It was the most sickening feeling ever, that stressed me out so much, I didn't puke. It was more than a pukey stress feeling, it was an I'm-loosing-my-sanity feeling. Just watching somebody die basically, unless he can be that one in five. That one in five.
We held hands back to the hospital in silence. When we got there, I whiped away Jake's tears, and he whiped away mine. I helped him out, and the doctors and my dad, and his parents were waiting at the door.
"Are you ready Jake?" the doctor asked. He nodded. "Hold on first," he said. He turned to me, and I had formed new tears, along with him. "I love you," he said. I hugged him, and when we pulled apart, I got one last kiss before he had to go. "I will love you always, no matter the outcome of this surgery, even though we both know that I am going to survive, right?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Forever and ever," I said. He smiled, and we were separated. I watched as he got helped into a cot, and pushed down the hall. I began crying just as hard as I did when mom went off to her surgery, and faced dad, who held me into his stomach, and stroked my hair. I bet he cried, but I will never ask him. Nothing left to do now but play the waiting game. I hate the waiting game. Hours and hours past. Hours before...