Hi, so here is another Chicago PD story and I am so excited to bring you thins one, this one takes me to a world post Erin, to Season 5 and this is a new thing for me so I hope that you enjoy. Also this delves a little into the Al/Adam relationship that I have enjoyed so much and like the Jay/Hank relationship is often ignored.
This story takes place around the break that happened in Season 5 when Adam's duel role was discovered, I can confirm that Hank and Al are not the enemies in this story. I think we all know who the enemy in Season 5 was.
This story does deal with upsetting themes including murder, rape and child abuse and PTSD flashbacks. If this TRIGGERS YOU THEN PLEASE STOP NOW!.
Pairings are as follows, Kim/Adam, Hailey/Jay, Will/Conner (briefly) and Al/Meredith.
Just to confirm that Lexie is dead in this story as well.
Disclaimer-Nothing here but Vicky is mine.
This story is AU as well but does stretch over Season 5 and Season 5 alone.
Please Read and Review and I will update as soon as I can.
And on a side note, I like so many other Fanfiction Authors no longer receive notifications via email about reviews/PMs etc. So if you do send any it might be a while, if ever before I get back to you. Please keep that in mind for it is not intentional-If anyone has a fix please let me know.
I have also stopped taking any kind of personal messages, any questions please leave them in a review and I will get back to them in the next chapter note. This chapter should be about twenty-twenty five chapters.
AND TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER AND DISCUSSION OF RAPE. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND.
The Spirit That I Have Seen
Chapter 5-The Dark At The End Of The Tunnel
Vicky drifts and dreams and remembers or at least tries to, Adam is in surgery. Kim takes a moment to panic and receives support from an unlikely source.
It was warm. She was warm.
She wanted to stay warm.
Kevin was still speaking to her but Vicky was finding it hard to stay awake. The room was full of people now, well…three people but the room was full of them anyway and she had doctor person who had introduced herself as Natalie and Kevin and Hailey and she didn't know what to do with all this new information.
And it was new information. She was doing her level best not to panic but the truth was she had a splitting headache forming and she was sure that she was going to vomit soon.
And she wanted to see Adam. She didn't know why but this was her sticking point. If she didn't see him then she wanted to at least know where he was. Adam would know what to do, he would know what to do with all these needles and tests and that strange light that was a bright purple kind of colour and hurt to look at.
She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them as Natalie came back with another giant needle and what looked like a swab thing that you used to clean out your ears and yeah…no…she was done.
To be honest Vicky was quite impressed she'd lasted this long all things considering.
"No" she said flinching away and curling her legs underneath her turning on her side away from the needle. "No I'm done"
"Vicky"
"Make it stop Kevin please"
Kevin looked at her and then at Natalie and then back at her.
"Vicky you are doing so well I know that it's hard but we've only got a few more things to do—"
"No" she said quickly shaking her head. "No I don't want to keep doing this Kevin I hate needles and I want Adam and—"
"I know" Kevin said bending down so they were face to face. "Okay, how about we make this the last one, Nat can we make this the last one?"
"I can fluoroscope without a needle Kevin but if you want swabs then…"
"Shit…Vicky if we do this needle can you stick a cotton swab in your mouth?"
"Yes"
"And then—"
"Nat you've got all that your gonna get, you've done enough of a kit for DNA we can give her a break for a bit"
That was Hailey and Vicky had never loved her more. Dutifully she turned around Kevin's hand still in her own and she allowed the swab in her mouth and then the light on her body and then only when she was sure it was over she opened her eyes.
"You did real good kid, really, really good"
"Where's Adam?"
"He's gone to surgery Vicky" Hailey said gently.
"Why?"
"Because…because someone hurt him very badly—"
"I didn't!"
"No we know you didn't sweetheart" Kevin said softly. "We know that you didn't. You've done brilliantly. But someone has hurt him, the same person who we think has hurt you only Adam has to go surgery."
Vicky nodded. She was very tired, she was very, very tired.
"I want to sleep now" she said quietly. "Can you let me know when Adam is here?"
Kevin looked around the room a little desperately and Vicky felt like crying again.
"Please Kevin, I told you everything I know, I helped you, I just want to sleep"
"Nat?"
"Yeah I can give her something Hails"
"You did really good Vicky, you did really good" Kevin said gently like he was talking to a scared goose. "You go to sleep now okay?"
She felt something prick her at the side but then darkness was falling and his face was the last thing that she saw.
"Kim?"
"Yes Sarge?"
Platt was looking at her as if she was a bomb about to go off and she didn't dare look at Al. He had been the one who had told her that he didn't think she had it in her to be in Intelligence because she was too soft hearted so here she was trying to stand her ground and trying to do her best despite the terribly gut wrenching pain that was spreading over her like she had been shot.
"Kim are you alright?"
"Yes Sarge"
Platt raised an eyebrow but before she could say anything the curtain to the cubicle opened and Hailey came out her face set in stone and Natalie followed.
"How bad?"
"Well I'd have to get everything to the lab but my guess is nobody's touched her"
"Well that's something anyway" Al muttered as Nat with a small smile bustled off.
"Kevin wants to stay with her" Hailey muttered leaning on the edge of the island and running her hands over her face.
"Well that's good" Platt said quietly. "That's good. When she wakes up someone she trusts should be there with her"
"Voight?"
"Still with Antonio, CSU is going through everything with a fine tooth comb but it's looking more and more like they were taken from some place and dumped on that road. There's no camera's so it's gonna be damn near impossible until one of them comes round to figure out what is going on"
That was Jay and Kim turned around. There was something…off with the tone of his voice. Something that she couldn't understand and she didn't for the life of him know why he was looking at Al in that strange way. Al for the most part if he saw it didn't comment on it. Instead he was staring into space with that far off look on his face that they had always assumed had something to do with Lexie.
"We have absolutely nothing to go on unless Adam wakes up and tells us what's happening" Hailey groaned. "There's nothing other than one guy and even then we don't know if he was real, it was ten below near as damn it she could have been—"
"I don't think she was seeing things" Al said quietly. "She was dead sure on the phone that someone was watching them, I believe her Hailey she was dead sure."
"Well she's not saying she saw someone know Al. Given what we know it's not out of the realm of possibility."
Al nodded but his eyes were on the curtain as if he could see through it.
"What does Voight think?"
"Voight's the wrong person to speak to her—"
That was Jay and he spoke so fast that everyone turned to look at him even Al who raised one cool eyebrow as if he didn't know what was going on but he knew enough to know that he didn't like it.
Kim felt the same. That was a challenge authority voice. That was Jay trying to prove something and the jut of his chin was enough that she looked at him.
"You think Voight can't handle children?"
"I don't think we should let Voight in the room with her Al, or you"
"Me?"
"I think the both of you are best in the field"
Al turned and Kim took a step back at the menace in his face.
"I'm staying here Jay, when you get a white shirt you can order me around, not before"
Jay's lip curled but he said nothing.
Kim looked at Hailey who shrugged but the look she was shooting Jay said plain as day she would get the rest of the story out of him by the time Adam was out of surgery.
If he was out of surgery, if he came out of surgery that was.
And that was not guaranteed. Not by a long shot.
And suddenly she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't stay. She couldn't…do anything. She also couldn't break. Kim was Chicago born and bread and she had her pride if she had nothing else and so she turned on her heel and walked towards the ladies room at Chicago Med which was mercifully empty.
Adam was alive.
It had been six months and Adam was alive.
He was alive.
She stared at herself in the mirror and then suddenly the vomit in her throat was coming out of her and she was retching and gasping into the sink, violently throwing up and shaking with the force of it because Adam was alive.
She had been doing well (or so she thought) in the last six months or so. She had last seen Adam heading to the locker room and that had been the last time that she had heard from him or seen him. Six months had passed since she had seen him and in those six months she had, had an almighty reckoning the likes of which she had never seen before. She had, had to come face to face with the nightmare that was a life without Adam. She'd spent several weekends bottle of vodka empty and in an intimate embrace with her toilet thinking on how much she loved him, how much she still loved him and she had gone to bed on many a night wondering if she had fucked up the best thing that had happened to her due to insanity.
Because she was Kim and he was Adam and they simply were Kim and Adam. They worked together, they operated together, they were just simply together. And she loved him. She had never fallen out of love with him and she had never loved him more.
And then she had found out that he was alive. She had finally managed to figure it all out and then she had found out that he was alive.
And that he was what? Dying? Going to die? Had been raped? Had somehow adopted a six year old girl along the way?
And did it matter? Did any of it matter other than the fact that he was alive?
She rested her head against the porcelain sink and shivered like she was ill and just as she was about to faceplant her own vomit someone was pulling her back and pressing the tap so that fresh water washed everything away and someone was pulling her back and it was then and only then that Kim realised she was crying and not just crying but full on sobbing.
And that the person who was hugging her was none other than Trudy Platt.
Great.
Well this was going to do wonders for her career in Intelligence wasn't it?"
But she couldn't stop herself from crying. It was like the flood gates had opened and once they had she wasn't able to stop and she was sobbing against the chest of a woman who she was sure had spent a long time wondering just what on earth she was doing as a cop.
It was moments like these that Kim believed her.
"Okay" Trudy said when Kim was all cried out (or so she thought). "We are gonna stay in here. I've got Hailey parked outside the door and we are gonna stay in here and we are gonna feel all that we have to feel."
But Kim didn't know what she had to feel.
Trudy seemed to understand that and so she said nothing.
"He was raped Trudy"
"Yeah" Trudy said with a dark smile. "Yeah I heard, and believe me when we find out who did that I will personally dig the hole myself…well…not me personally because I have people who do that for me but the team will dig the hole under my supervision and Voight and Olinsky will catch the guy and then we will take care of Adam, we take care of our own and Olinsky loves that boy like a son. But Kim you have to make a decision soon about how far you want that boy to lean on you and—"
"I love him Trudy"
Trudy nodded. "I know you do, and if love was enough we'd all be living a happy life right now but Kim he is not gonna be the same man that he was before this and he's so bonded with this child that I don't see her going away either. So you have to think about what you want, if you want him, if you want her. Because the Adam Ruzek I know is not going to put this child in foster care when all of this is over. Even if he did I'm pretty sure Kevin would adopt her on sight"
Kim wanted to ask how she was so sure that Vicky had nobody but she couldn't get her mouth to work. Instead she wiped her eyes and then splashed some water on her face and only then when she was ready did she turn and look her boss in the eye who eyed her critically but then nodded.
"You good?"
"No"
"Well…that makes two of us. Can you do your job?"
"Yes"
"Then get out there and go find me the piece of filth that hurt our boy"
And with that Kim Burgess nodded, squared her shoulders, carefully did not think about the love of her life on a hospital table being cut open and pushed open the door of the ladies room and started to go to work.
And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring you the next one as soon as I can
Next Chapter-Voight goes looking for clues as Woods turns up to the Crime Scene. Adam comes out of surgery. Jay wants answers.