Chapter Eight: Lothlórien
Buffy and Willow were still laying on the ground, each deep in thought.
"Hey Wil?" Buffy said finally. "I'm sorry that you never got to say good-bye to Kennedy."
"It's OK," she replied. "Well, not really so OK, but… I'm sorry for the things she said to you, Buffy. She was wrong." Before Buffy could respond, they were suddenly surrounded by a group of five strangers. They were all tall, lithe males with flowing blond hair and pointy ears. And they had bows pointed at the two young women.
"Wow, I didn't even hear them coming," Buffy said to Willow, startled.
"I am Haldir, the March Warden of this land," the one in the middle announced. "Who are you, and what is your purpose here?"
Buffy looked peeved, so Willow spoke up. "I'm Willow and this is Buffy. We, um, were sent here to see the Lady of the Wood."
Haldir relaxed slightly, and nodded to the others to put down their bows. "We have been expecting you. Strange tidings indeed, for two women to appear in the heart of our sacred Golden Wood. The Lord and Lady, however, have directed us to welcome you and bring you before them."
"The Lord and Lady?" Buffy asked, curiously. "What're they like?"
Haldir frowned at her. "Your words are strange to my ears. It is like to the Common Tongue, and yet unlike. Do you know naught of the Lord and Lady of the Galadhrim?"
Buffy and Willow looked at each other, wondering how much to tell him. "We're from far away," Buffy said vaguely, "so we haven't heard much about Lothlórien."
Haldir accepted this, and responded. "Galadriel is the Lady of the Wood, and Celeborn its Lord. They have dwelt together here for countless ages. It is the power of the Lady that you feel about this land. Are you injured?" he asked suddenly as they tentatively sat up for the first time.
"Rough trip," Buffy commented as she stood and pulled Willow up next to her. To their relief, their backpacks and the scythe were laying nearby. They collected their belongings, and then finally heeded Haldir's words and truly took in their surroundings. They were adrift in a blazing world of green, gold, and silver. The trees around them were laden with gold blossoms that contrasted beautifully with their silvery-gray bark. The grass below them was thick and luscious, and fallen blossoms glowed brightly against various shades of green. The sky above looked freshly painted, and they gasped in delight. They heard a strange, new sound then, it was a curious mix of laughter and tinkling bells. Turning, they saw that their companions were amused by their shock.
"Come," Haldir said, smiling slightly. "It is some distance to Caras Galadhon, the elven city."
Willow reached out for Buffy, and they followed the elves through Lothlórien hand in hand. The land was achingly beautiful, and after several hours of walking the golden trees grew taller until their tops could not be seen. Structures were built up in the largest ones, and they wound their way around and up into the sky above. Green, gold and silver lights twinkled out all around them as they continued on a white, stone pathway that arced around the city. Finally, they crossed over a white bridge and through the gates. Once inside, they began to climb through ladder-like stairways up and up into the heart of the city. They paused briefly for rest in a large open area with a sparkling fountain at its center.
The largest tree yet sprung up from this lawn and guards were stationed at its base. Using horns to communicate with those above, they began their final ascent to the dwelling of Galadriel and Celeborn. Though they were surrounded by numerous other elves, it was immediately obvious who the Lord and Lady were. They both glowed as if from within much brighter than those around them, the Lady brightest of all. They were equally tall and regal, he of streaming silver hair and she of golden-blond. Their forms were young, yet each seemed ancient, making the young women remember Haldir's words about the pair having lived here for ages. They rose to welcome Willow and Buffy, who stood speechless before them.
"Welcome ladies," Celeborn said. "You have traveled far, and we are told you come to aid us in our time of strife."
"This is Lord Celeborn, and I am Galadriel. Pleased am I to meet two such brave warriors." She smiled kindly at them, but her gaze was fierce and piercing.
"It's nice to meet you," Buffy said, uncertain of what to say.
"Thank you for letting us come here," Willow added. "It didn't sound like the PTB cared where they dumped us."
"PTB?" asked Celeborn, confused.
Galadriel smiled and understood. "I believe they are like to the Valar of this world." She frowned, suddenly. "But they seem not as concerned for the fate of their warriors."
"You're not wrong," Buffy muttered. "In our world the Powers like to screw with our lives." They stared at her, so she hastily explained. "I don't have the best relationship with them. I'm not a fan of how they deal with their champions." Willow nodded.
"There is much to discuss," Galadriel replied thoughtfully. "But you must be weary. There is a pavilion set up near the fountain for you to take your rest in. Know that you are safe here." As they said their thanks again and prepared to leave, each heard The Lady's voice in their mind.
They descended to the level of the fountain where a tent had been indeed been set up. Their guards left them there and returned to their posts. Two low couches rested inside, and they eagerly shrugged their backpacks from their shoulders and sat.
"Buffy, did you hear her voice in your head?"
"I did."
"What did she say to you?"
Buffy sighed and considered lying, but felt that it was not the way she wanted to start her new life. "She told me not to drown myself in guilt. That I was needed for larger things."
Willow felt comforted. "She said the same to me."
"Do you think we can trust them?" Buffy asked.
"I think so," Willow replied.
"I do, too. They seem incredibly powerful, but I didn't sense any evil in either one." They allowed their exhaustion to take over, and both fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The first thing Buffy was aware of as she began to wake was that she hadn't felt this rested in years. Since before she was called, to be exact. The second thing she noticed was a host of ethereal voices joined together in song. They seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. She couldn't tell what they were singing about, but the melody was both haunting and joyful. She stretched languidly, not quite ready to let go of this strange moment of peace. Rolling over to face Willow's couch, she felt uncertain whether or not to wake her. She felt a strange awkwardness around Willow now, and she wasn't sure why. It was almost as though they had just met rather than having spent the last seven years fighting a war together. She stayed still, waiting to see what would happen. Willow's head was buried underneath a mound of blankets, with just a tuft of red hair peeking out, so Buffy didn't realize she was awake until the redhead suddenly rolled over to face her. Willow smiled quirkily at Buffy, and the moment seemed oddly intimate until Buffy broke through it by babbling.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" she asked.
"Nope. I've been awake for a while, just enjoying the serenade."
"Oh, good." Buffy seemed confused about something, and Willow thought how cute she always looked when flustered. Then she blushed.
"I feel like I slept for ten years," she commented, trying to cover her redness. "You know how when you're really tired you think, 'oh I could sleep for a whole day' even though you know that it wouldn't make you feel better and you can't ever really make up for lost sleep?"
Buffy smiled at Willow's ramble. "Yeah?"
"Well, I feel kinda like I actually made up for every hour that I ever missed in my whole life," Willow finished.
"Exactly," Buffy agreed.
"How long do you think we slept?" Willow asked.
"I have no clue, but time seems to work differently here. And then there's the whole complete lack of evil. Somehow I doubt all of Middle Earth is like this. Otherwise, slayer equals pointless much?"
"I know what you mean," Willow replied. "This whole place seems wrapped up in some kind of magick."
"So you're feeling better then?" Buffy asked. "No more dimension hopping whiplash?"
"I feel perfect," Willow smiled and stretched lazily on her couch. "How 'bout you? Do you still feel all mixed up in there?" She stretched out a hand toward Buffy's stomach.
Buffy grinned, and Willow realized that she hadn't seen such pure mirth in her friend's eyes for years. "The blender in my belly is officially unplugged. The sword wound doesn't hurt anymore, either." She sat up, pushing the covers back, and slowly pulled up her tank top. The horrific, multi-colored and puffy wound site was gone, leaving just a reddish scar of reunited flesh. Willow reached out in awe, looked at Buffy for permission, and gently ran her fingertips over the area.
"That's amazing," she whispered. "Oh Buffy, I was so worried."
Buffy flopped back down onto the couch. "I so don't wanna get up and start the serious business," she said. "The sleeping and relaxing are not past-times commonly experienced by Buffy - and now I'm feeling greedy."
"Me too," Willow smiled conspiratorially. "Maybe we could pretend we're still asleep."
At that moment, a beautiful female elf poked her head inside their tent and said, "Suilad. I have come to take you to the dining hall, and then to show you around Lórien." She didn't look like the other elves they'd seen. Her hair was black as night and her eyes a sparkling silvery-gray. Willow and Buffy jumped up guiltily, glanced at each other, and then burst out laughing. The elf smiled at them and said she'd wait in the courtyard. They hastily dressed, not quite used to the close quarters. Buffy paused for a moment as she laced up her boots, thinking about their situation. It wasn't just the world that was strange and new, it was their relationship, too. She peeked over at Willow who was brushing her hair, and then gave up trying to figure it out for now. They left the pavilion together, and were both struck by the beauty of the land all over again.
"I don't think I could make up a place more beautiful than this. It's like we jumped into a fairy tale," Willow whispered as they approached the elf.
She clearly heard, and smiled at them. "I am glad that you like it here. My name is Arwen."
"I'm Buffy, and that's Willow. Sorry about earlier, we were just..."
"Trying to pretend to sleep and avoid your duties?" Arwen finished, grinning. "Elves have good hearing." They all laughed, suddenly feeling easier around each other.
"Oops," Willow exhaled.
"It must be very difficult to leave your world behind to join ours," Arwen said, and caught their startled looks. "My grandmother told me about you. Not as much as she knows, I am sure, just that you were warriors there and that you were sent here to aid us." Buffy and Willow glanced cautiously at each other. "I am sorry, I forget that you have no reason to trust me."
"It's just all so new," Willow began as they walked. "We know, deep down, that there isn't any evil here in Lórien, but it's still unnerving. In our world, creatures with so much power were always evil."
"One girl in all the world," Buffy said softly. "To stand against the demons and the forces of darkness."
"Well, that does not sound very fair," Arwen replied, and they all laughed again.
"So, Galadriel is your grandmother?" Buffy asked.
"Yes. Her daughter Celebrian was my mother, and Elrond of Imladris is my father."
Buffy noticed the change in tense. "Was?" she said carefully.
"She was traveling here from Imladris and a band of orcs attacked. She was hit with a poisoned arrow and could not be cured, so she sailed West."
"West?" Willow asked, curiously.
Arwen sighed heavily. "To Valinor, where my people go when they grow weary of living in Middle Earth. When you sail West, you can never return."
"I'm sorry," Buffy said quietly. "My mom died two years ago and I still haven't stopped missing her."
Arwen looked at Buffy and said, "You never do." Buffy felt Willow tensing up beside her, and wondered if she was thinking about Tara. She reached out and took her hand as the trio reached a more populated section of Caras Galadhon. She led them into a great hall that, like everything else, seemed to be constructed entirely of living trees. There were groups of elves talking and eating at low tables, some sitting on the ground and some on benches. The food looked strange, but was wonderful and filling, and they ate listening idly to conversations that they couldn't understand.
"They are mostly talking about you," Arwen said, smiling. "Everyone is very curious. In these dark times, the strangest visitor they ever see in the protected city is myself!" She seemed to find this amusing.
"I got the feeling from Haldir that it's a great privilege to be allowed to come here," Buffy said.
"Yes, but Haldir is also a snob," Arwen smirked, and they were both struck by the incongruity of such an ethereal and timeless creature smirking. They smiled at each other across the table and Arwen noticed. "I may be old and of elf-kind, but I am still a woman," she said, sounding slightly hurt. "It is difficult when people only see the Evenstar and not me, Arwen." She then looked slightly abashed by her outburst, and tried to explain. "I am sorry, but there is always so much doom in these times that I feel like I have to be serious and wise all the time. The woman in me gets neglected for the seer."
"I get it," Buffy said. "In my world, I was the slayer. I always tried to have a life outside of slaying, go on dates, do girly stuff, but the evil was nonstop. I couldn't get close to people because it was supposed be a secret. And whenever I took time to just be Buffy, someone would die because of it." Willow looked closely at Buffy as she spoke. She'd never realized just how much guilt she carried for each person she didn't save. "Anyway, I drove myself crazy trying to satisfy what I thought were two different people: the slayer and Buffy. Eventually, I figured out that I couldn't separate them."
"How did you learn to accept this?" Arwen asked.
"I haven't," Buffy grinned, sheepishly. She looked at Willow. "Have you, Will?"
"Have I what?" Willow asked, confused.
"Figured out how to come to terms with woman Willow and witch-fu Willow?" Willow just stared at Buffy, not used to her friend being so introspective. Must be the lack of apocalypse, she mused.
"Witch-fu?" Arwen interjected. "What is witch-fu?" Buffy struggled to explain the Kung-Fu reference, and how she adapted it to fit her friend's specific talents. The elf laughed. "I like the way you talk. So you are a witch, Willow?" she asked, obviously concerned.
"Yes, that's one word for it. But I'm not an evil witch; I'm a good witch. Like Glinda."
"The only references to witches here are not good - they are beings who use their power to exploit the land and crush the free will of those around them. They desire control only."
"That's not Wil," Buffy assured her.
"Oh, I know." Arwen replied. They left the dining hall and walked idly around Lothlórien.
"So, this might be really rude," Buffy began. "But how old are you? Cuz in some ways you seem our age, but in other ways you seem much older. And Galadriel, she seems really really old."
Arwen laughed. "I do not take offense," she said. "I have lived just under 3000 years, and Galadriel is far older. She was born in the Years of the Trees before the Sun came. I would say she has close to 9000 years." Buffy and Willow both gasped.
"Well, she said she was older," Buffy said wryly.
"Are elves immortal, then?" Willow inquired, fascinated.
"The simple answer is yes." Arwen said. "But we are not impervious. Wounds and poisons can cut us down, though not as easily as mortals, and we can also fade due to heartache and loss. Most elves leave Middle Earth and pass their final years in Valinor before they die and enter the Halls of Mandos."
"Mandos?" asked Willow.
"Elves and Men go different places when they die. Men and the other speaking races are not allowed in Valinor, and when they die their souls go elsewhere. The souls of the Eldar go to the Halls of Mandos."
Buffy said quietly, "In our world, most believe that our souls go to one of many heavenly or hellish dimensions, based on our actions in life. The heavenly ones are peaceful."
"How do you know this?" Arwen asked, interested. "Do the souls of Men return to your world and speak to you?"
"Not usually," Buffy replied. "But I've been there."
"How can that be?" Arwen was shocked.
"Well, I died. It's kind of a long story." She looked at Willow sadly.
"Would you tell me?" Arwen asked. "I cannot help but be fascinated."
"Alright," Buffy replied. She explained about Glory, Dawn and the monks and the events that led up to Dawn being tied to the tower to bleed. "They made her out of my blood, and I realized that my death would also close the portal, so I jumped. That's when I went to heaven," she finished.
"But how did you come back?" Arwen asked, amazed.
"I did it," Willow said in a tiny voice. "I ripped her from heaven and the only peace she's ever known." She broke away from them and headed blindly towards the woods.
Arwen turned to Buffy. "Is it true, Buffy?" Buffy nodded. "How does she have such power? The Dark Lord Sauron has been known to create new abominations from the blood of elves, but this is altogether a different matter. You came back unchanged?"
"Unchanged," Buffy repeated bitterly. "Not exactly."
"I am sorry, Buffy," Arwen said gently. "I did not know I was delving into such sore and open wounds."
Buffy sighed. "It's OK. Life has a way of being messy and painful."
Arwen nodded. "I will not be insulted if you want to go to her. There are other things I must do now, anyway. We will meet later." She smiled at Buffy and left.