"Ma'am, I am just scanning your ID, its policy for every check-in" my front desk worker Kiera was trying to explain to a man and woman checking in.
This was policy at our hotel, we always make a copy of the ID of the person checking in. This is so if their debit or credit card turned out to be stolen or fake, we have picture of their face for law enforcement.
"Well, you can't do that!" the woman angrily responds, "This is against my civil rights!"
Kiara laughs, "Ma'am the only ID we wouldn't be able to make a copy of would be a military ID, in which your ID is not."
"Wow, you are accusing us of scamming you! Just wow!" the woman laughs with the face of utter derangement.
"You are violating our right to privacy!" Her husband interjects.
"Ma'am, I'm only…"
"Shut the fuck up you stupid n****r!" the woman interrupts Kiera.
"Excuse me?" Kiera asked stunned.
I was across the lobby listening to this. I knew when I heard the n-word I was about to get involved. I was nervous, these are the situations where my condition would be an absolute burden.
"Get your manager!" the racist woman's husband screams, "I'm tired of dealing with you people, lazy fucks!"
"Leena…" Kiera begins to utter into her walkie talkie.
I was already walking towards them, contemplating in my head about what I was going to do, what I was going to say.
I have to admit, this situation in a weird way excited me. Living the life that I had lived, I have never I have never had to deal with average everyday 'adult' dilemmas. I lived my like as a prostitute and con-artist, I've never been in situations where I had to resolve a conflict between two different people. Kiera was wanting ME to intervene, my co-workers who were all staring at the troublesome couple were looking up to ME, people for the first time in my life were actually COUNTING ON ME.
The women just start screaming at the top of her lungs like a lunatic, screaming about all of her 'civil rights' were violated. Did she even know what civil rights are? Hell, I am a foreign national living here under false pretenses, yet I understood United States constitutional law and statutory law far better than this lady did. The way she spoke was just 'stupid' sounding, her English was terrible despite it being probably her first and only language. On the other hand, not only am I fluent in English, despite it being like my third or fourth language, but I've managed to completely get rid of my eastern European accent. That was something that made me proud.
"Fuck OFFFFF" the woman screamed as a customer stepping to try to deescalate the situation. She then proceeded to scream and growl like a wild animal. Hell, Idti's outburst at the Saarne Institute were tamer than this.
'And people say I'M crazy!' I thought to myself as I smile a bit, laughing internally at my dark joke. I began to pick up the pace as I neared them.
"Excuse me! What's going on here? What's the problem?" I ask the couple sternly. She looked at me with a wide-eyed expression.
"Who the fuck are you supposed to be?" the husband asked with a smirk on his face.
"Well, I am Leena, the general manager, what …"
"Oh great" the lady interrupts as she eyeballs me, "I can't believe this!"
The husband points at me and says, "Run along and go get your boss!"
"As I said, I am the general manager for this hotel, you two are making a scene, what's wrong?" I ask.
"Oh, for god's sake, were you not able to get a job at the circus or as an elf in Santa's workshop" the lady says. This made me furious; I took a breath to maintain my composure.
"Wow", I respond "I'm curious, why are you berating my staff? All we were doing was making photocopy of your ID for our records."
"You can't do that", the husband yells.
They both simultaneously rant about their rights. They call Kiera the n-word some more, she was getting very upset. I was called a midget at least a dozen more times. Being taunted about my condition was infuriating, however, this is something I'm just going to have to deal with. What made the whole situation easier, for my mental state at least, was hideous these people were. It's especially rich to be called a freak from a woman who looks like Mama Fratelli from the goonies, and a man who looks like Steve Buscemi went to a fat camp.
I can't pinpoint where their opposing to our policy is at some point, they kept jumping around in their arguments. They ranted about how appalled they are at us 'accusing' them of being scammers. They ranted about how this was a violation for their 'human rights' – a switch from 'civil rights' – and that this was how martial law 'gets started'. They accuse us of wanting to sell their data. Me, Kiera, and a few other staff that came to assist were all their listening to their rant.
"You know, my bother will put you in your place, he's a LAWYER!" the woman screams at me.
"Okay, and is that supposed to intimidate me ma'am?"
"Oh, I don't give a fuck if it does"
"Get out!" I ordered.
"Stupid freak!" The man yelled "you just LOST A CUSTOMER."
'Oh no' I thought to myself. I already had security on their way to expedite their expulsion from the hotel. They began slowly inching towards the exit, not without continuing their tirade of course.
Security had arrived and began to escort them out.
"Don't touch me" the women screamed "that's sexual harassment". I couldn't help but laugh a little at that statement.
Before walking out, the husband grabs his crotch, starts making a thrusting motion and yells, "FUCK YOU!"
"Jesus Christ" I say, "Kiera are you ok."
"I'll be fine," she replies with a sigh. She was visibly shaken up by it.
"Hey, go take a break" I tell her "Take an hour break, don't clock out."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, we'll be fine, I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Kiera went off to the break room to cool down. I took a few minutes breather myself. I thought about how I was called a midget and a freak, multiple times. Then it hit me, they called me a midget, they did not think I was a child.
This realization made me smile a bit.