Chapter 12: Hopes and Fears

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This chapter is kinda long, but I threw some Yaoi in the middle to soften the blow, and as a thanks for the long wait. enjoy!

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"What a day..." Watts sighed, sinking down in his seat at the strategy room table. He watched as the other 3 members of the Timber Owls crew worked over it with scrutinizing detail, the engineer, system analyst, and technician had been working since Zone and the rest of his team had left this morning for the Garden. Their task had been a familiar one, building a model of the world map, and when Zone and Watts returned they helped out with it as much as possible.

Zone sat on the other side of the table, earning himself at lest a short reprieve from working. Enix sat on his shoulder like always, watching everything taking place curiously. He was used to being silent, when he was in that cage he was forced to be quiet by Galbadian solders that got annoyed easily and hit hard.

"Yeah, I never thought things would get this serious so fast." Zone leaned back in his chair and watched the three men converse among themselves about their current work. The model was starting to take shape, land masses that were to scale, water, cities and a lot of blue and green, for obvious reasons. "Hey, where's Matt, he loves doing these things."

"He's in his room." Watts told him, a hint of disappointment in his voice when he spoke about it. "I guess taking him with us to the Garden wasn't a good idea, it made him really depressed when he had to leave."

Zone dropped his head, a sense of uneasy reluctance coming about on the subject, staring down at the model, "Yeah, it most be hard for him."

"He's jealous you know." Watts titled his head back, staring up at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'll bet." Zone nodded. "I feel really bad for him... But with the way things are going it'll be over soon right? Maybe after we get Galbadia off of him, he can give it another shot, at school you know."

"He's lost a lot of time." Watts added.

"He's a smart kid, he'll do fine." Zone waved discardingly, a small smile coming to his face, "Speaking of this being over...what do we do now?"

Watts let his eyes fall back on Zone, blinking in confusion. "Uh...well, I uh...Isn't that your call sir?"

Zone folded his arms, his vision fixed on the map being built in front of him. "It is I guess...But your the information guy, you could at lest drop a guess."

Watts shifted his eyes around nervously, he had nothing. "Uh...Um...Well it doesn't matter what I say, the final decision is yours sir."

Zone had nothing either, neither one of them had a clue what to do next. Zone looked up poutingly to Enix. "He's no help."

Enix only tilted his head to the side and cooed questioningly, he had no idea what either one of them was talking about.

"Your no help either." Zone sighed, dropping his head again.

"Well sir, you should probably base your next move on what you want to know." Watts suggested. "What's your biggest question?"

"Well in that case, I can't decided on just one." Zone said, all of this was so confusing. "Like why does Galbadia want Matthew in the first place, what do they plan to do with him? And who are these Gcom guys, why is Galbadia so afraid of them?"

"You should probably focus yourself on one group at a time sir. It might be easier that way."

Watts was right, there were too many questions about Galbadia to move on to Gcom. "Then our focus is definitely Galbadia... I don't think we'll be able to go back to Deling right now, security is gonna be too tight. So we should go to the place Galbadia's going, maybe warn somebody or set up some type of preemptive, we might be able to get some answers that way." Zone reasoned.

"That's perfect sir."

"So where would that place be?"

"Uh..."

! - ! - !

Nida endured the wind pushing against his body, causing ripples across his clothing and ruffling his mid ranged hair to the side wildly. He reached up and grabbed ahold of the small ledge protruding from the side of the roof and pushed himself up out of the door, up to the top of the moving train.

It was bright up here, the sun beamed uninhibited over head from the cloudless sky, and warm as it looked. The noise wasn't as blaring as Nida expected it to be, he would have guess being a top of a train reeling at high speeds over steel tracks would be loud, he hadn't noticed the last time. And the view of the wide open plans filled with long grass that waved in the wind were expansive. And Nida could see why this would be a good spot for someone to come to be alone.

"Seifer." Nida pushed himself off his knees and stood to his feet, taking slow, confident steps across the moving surface. He found the other boy near head of the train, sitting silently with his arms resting on drawn in knees.

Seifer glanced over his shoulder acknowledgingly, then looked outward again. "What, you come up here to give me hell about what happened back in the Garden." Seifer snorted discardingly.

"When have I ever done that?" Nida slipped his hand in his pockets and stood over Seifer, looking outward at the land rolling past the railroad tracks.

"Come on, I know your pissed." Seifer said expectantly, a bit of amusement in his voice. "You were about ready to shoot me."

"I was mad at the time." Nida admitted, but he could never really stay mad at anyone, he felt completely incapable of it. Maybe it came from when he was a younger and didn't have too many friends, he wanted people to like him, and was lonely enough to probably have done anything someone asked if it would help them like him better. If they liked him better they;d be his friends, the best it did was get him know for being nice, it really backfired in away. Sure people liked him better, but he was still alone, a lonely person that knew a lot of other people. He was no longer that naive, but some of that mentality was most definitely left over from years past.

Seifer didn't respond for a moment, now that he thought about it he had never seen Nida stay mad at anyone for more the an hour. He'd seen Nida frequently, he was good friends with Raijin. Nida was always the one to help him out in class, since Raijin didn't always have the easiest time studying or on tests, and Raijin, being the most physical of the two, was always the muscle. Sure they had had augments, but it seemed like just as quickly it was like had never happened.

"Why didn't you listen to me?" Nida asked, his voice was soft and curious, almost as if he wasn't pressing the issue, just a simple conversation piece.

Seifer laugh lightly to himself, was he really asking this question? "I didn't want on Nida, your smarter then that."

"That's not what I'm asking." Nida shook his head. "Why didn't listen to me?"

Seifer didn't understand the question at first, he looked back over his shoulder at Nida who held the same calm expression he always had... Then after a few seconds he finally understood it, it was never simple with Nida, Nida always wanted a deeper answer. "I don't know, I guess I just don't like being bossed around." He said snidely.

"Seifer." Nida paced around softly, looking toward the opposite end of the train. "Why didn't you listen to me?"

"Tch. Yeah it's so easy for you to say." Seifer rolled his eyes, "You can just come in and say stop, like that makes a difference."

Nida turned around towards Seifer, looking down at him silently.

"In case you didn't notice, they were the ones that started the damn fight in the first place, if they started it, why can't I finish it?"

"What good would that do?" Nida asked. "There was no point."

"That's bull, they keep starting it with me, everybody starts it with me. What the hell do you mean there was no point!" Seifer growled.

"You think fighting will make a difference in how they think of you?"

"I don't care what they think about me." Seifer shrugged. "But if they wanna fight with me then-"

Nida shook his head with a sigh, "Seifer you don't get it...People don't like you, some of them probably never will."

"Yeah, like I didn't know that."

"They think your nothing more then a traitor who's gonna do nothing more then hurt them and cause trouble." Nida stated bluntly. "And...if you just go around fighting them, even if they bait you into it, your just gonna prove everyone right. You'll give them a reason to think of you like that."

"..." Seifer didn't reply at first, he just glared strait ahead with a hard look before speaking again. "So what are you saying Nida, if I just don't say anything and walk away that's gonna change? You can't be that naive."

"I'm not saying that, just don't prove them right. Don't give them anymore reason." Nida said. "I know your not what everyone says you are, you just have to prove it to them through your actions. "

"And if that doesn't work?" Seifer inquired, just waiting to prove Nida wrong.

"Then...just be satisfied knowing they're wrong, you seem to be good at stuff like that." Nida said.

"Right, whatever." Seifer shrugged.

Nida didn't press the issue any farther, he wouldn't get anywhere else with Seifer, at lest not right now. And knowing Seifer came up here to be alone, he headed back towards the side door.

"...So, were you really gonna fight those guys?" Seifer asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Yeah." Nida knelt down above the side door and began climbing down carefully. "If it came to that."

"They were running right at us, it was already there." Seifer said with that familiar amusement in his voice.

"Then I guess I was." Nida said supposingly, before pulling himself back inside.

Seifer just smirked, he'd never thought he'd see someone run to his defense like that, and Nida of all people.

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Zone slowly peaked his head into Matthew's room, knocking on the door from the outside to alert him of his presence. "Matt?" He called out softly, peering around in Riona's former room. He had to say, it was a lot darker then when she occupied it. Every thing was blue, which was understandable since Matthew's favorite color was blue.

Zone could remember when Watts had first asked him what he wanted in his bed room, and Matthew commented he wanted everything to be the same color as Zone's hair.

"Matt." Zone found the boy laying curled up in his bed, staring at the wall silently. The boy looked down at Zone, then continued to stare at the wall, Zone knew the expression he had on his face well. The boy's features held a silent contemplation to them, like he was thinking hard about something serious, maybe he was.

Zone slowly walked over to the bed, looking over Matthew's sleeping form silently for a few seconds before he sighed deeply and sat down atop the soft blue covers the same color as his hair. Then he allowed his body to fall back and laid his body completely on the bed, folding his arms with the same serious look Matthew held growing on his face as he occupied the space beside the boy.

Neither of them said anything, just laying in silence while the ambient sounds of the train's wheels streaming along the tracks drifted through the room. "It's hard." Zone finally said. "It really must be hard for you."

Matthew didn't say anything, still staring strait ahead. "..."

"I know you wanna do a lot of things but you can't." Zone said in his best effort to console the boy. "I'm sorry about that."

"That doesn't help me." Matthew said bitterly. "You won't let me do anything."

Zone was quiet for a few seconds, knowing Matthew was right. "...I know, I couldn't let you."

"Why not?" Matthew rolled over and looked up at Zone, an sudden anger burning in him. "I couldn't do anything! I never could do anything!"

"I told you, I would have let you but it was too dangerous." Zone said almost pleadingly, trying to make him understand his position.

"It was always too dangerous!" Matthew shouted angrily, he sounded like he was on the verge of crying. "I never could..." He honestly didn't mean to scream at first, he was so angry... "I never could do anything!"

"It wasn't safe enough!" Zone shouted back, as usual he started yelling too. "I told you that, it's not my fault!"

"It's never safe!" Matthew cried out "I don't care about that, I've never been safe! All I wanted was just to be allowed to do at lest something normal kids do...I don't care about the risk."

Zone sighed, staring up at the ceiling with a long pause. "I'm really sorry about that. I just don't want something to happen to you."

"I...I know." Matthew rolled over again, faceting the wall with his back to the man. "I get it, I really do...You just want to protect me..I just wish I was normal..."

Zone felt a pang of remorseful guilt, he couldn't do anything about that.

"Hey, where's Enix?" Matthew finally asked, though he still didn't look at Zone.

"With Watts, he's try to give him a bath." Zone said, another pause followed as he tilted his head towards the opposite wall. "You know...I was talking to Squall today." He said. "And uh... when this is all over...I got him to let you enroll at Balamb Garden."

Matthew froze, did he hear what he thought he heard? The boy rolled over towards Zone, a cautious hopefulness building visibly on his face. "Seriously?"

"Uh-huh." Zone nodded. "If you wanna go-"

"Of course I wanna go!" He exclaimed excitedly, this was so sudden, he didn't expect this,he never felt so happy in his life, he had to resist the urge to jump up on the bed. So instead he dived on Zone, wrapping his arms around the man with a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Zone laughed, slipping an arm around Matthew's back and ruffling the black strands of his hair. "Heh Heh, you deserve it."

"Oh man, I can't believe it." Matthew settled contently, his mind buzzing with thoughts of what it would be like, what he would do, what he wouldn't do. He hugged Zone even tighter, closing his eyes and resting his head on the man's chest, he was just too happy to let go. "Oh wait a minute, what about you guys, I can't leave you guys." As much as Matthew wanted to be normal and go to the Garden, he didn't think he could leave Zone and Watts, they were like family to him, they were family. Of what variation he couldn't describe but family none the less.

Even if he didn't go to the Garden, the offer was a sign of approaching normalcy that he wanted so desperately.

"Don't worry about us." Zone reassured him. "We'll visit every day. It'll be just like we live there."

"Zone..." Matthew hugged him tighter, he didn't know what else to say besides thank you.

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"Man... is it just me, are you hungry too?" Cho stretched his hands upward with a small yawn and scratched his head sleepily. He came with sloppy steps into the kitchen after awakening from a nap, his clothing were in slight disarray and he clearly wasn't completely awake yet.

Shadow laid in the center of the dark room, his form barely visible, little more then a small outline with glowing red eyes with out the lights on. He didn't say anything, he just watched Cho in his usual silently way, observing. And he noticed a few things.

Shadow never understood how humans could be at ease so much, by all means they were in a dangerous situation, they could be attacked by this Galbadia, who Shadow gathered was a dangerous force, at any time. Yet all of them had their guard down, looking at Cho was a perfect ensample. Sleep while someone kept watch was exceptable as long as one still maintained a level of awareness, but no one was on guard, Cho wasn't even on guard, he could see it in every movement the boy made.

Strange.

Cho didn't bother to go over to the refrigerator, he just walked strait over to Shadow and sat down beside the wolf. "It's dark in here."

"I'm aware." Shadow replied with his usual callousness.

"I guess you don't like the light very much." Cho lifted his hand to his mouth as another yawn forced it's way out. "I've been wondering, aren't you bored just sitting around all the time?"

"Bored?" Shadow looked up at him questioningly, then thought for a moment, from what he'd heard of everything human's said he could piece together what it meant. And he most definitely wasn't bored, watching these humans, trying to figure out and understand their actions, their tendencies, he could could spend hours thinking about it. He had a very inquiring mind. "No."

"Come on, you must wanna do something." Cho said. "You don't know anything about this place right, don't you wanna try some things out?"

"Uninterested." He said simply, closing his eyes and turning his head away.

"Your not at all curious?" Cho asked temptingly, or it just came out that way because he was sleepy, Shadow wasn't sure.

"No."

Cho let his eyes drift close, his body sitting completely still. "There are a lot of great things in this world that you haven't even heard of, like food, you like food right?"

"Not so far." Shadow hadn't encountered anything he particularly liked, most of what he had eaten was cooked food, he much more preferred the raw meat of a hunt to some of things he'd ingested here.

"Oh come on, there are allot of really good food, like ice cream. Oooo, I could really go for some strawberry and vanilla right now..."

Vanilla? Shadow's ears perked and he lifted his head, "Vanilla?" If it was anything he encountered here that he liked it was the scent of the vanilla shampoo Cho used to wash his fur, and the actual act of Cho washing his fur, that felt really good. And Seifer, he liked Seifer, and Nida, and Cho, not to mention the learning experience he was gaining.

"Yeah, there are a lot of Vanilla stuff." Cho opened his eyes half way, noticing that Shadow seem to take an interest now. "You see, this place isn't so bad."

Point taken.

"..." Shadow just accepted it in silence and let his rest back down on the ground.

Cho lifted his hand to his mouth and yawned again, feeling the familiar pull of sleep. With out a second though the boy stretched his arms over his head and laid down against the soft fur of Shadow's body, curling up slightly into the warmth.

Shadow didn't mind, he had to admit he liked this too. There was something about this simple action, the feel of Cho's body against his, the warmth of resting flesh, the soft, slow breaths coming sleep from the boy. Or maybe it was nothing physical about it, all of was mental. This action was affectionate, it made Shadow feel like he was at the perfect place to protect him against anything, and it was so trusting, Cho simply cuddling a dangerous creature such as him with no doubt or worry.

Shadow had never encountered actions like this before, in his world there was nothing remotely comparable to this. The closest thing there was to love was lust, this was still a gray area for him, love, something completely and unequivocally human. What was it that made a person take that level of favor, that extent of devotion, that feeling that made you feel unable to stay away from them for long periods? How and why did something like this exsistant, it was a weakness, so why was it people allowed it to happen. Love, affection, he still had to keep watching to get a better understanding of the two, among his other questions.

For now he'd just lay back and allow Cho to sleep, he enjoyed it enough, and if no one else was on guard then he'd pay attention and stay on watch himself. Then he could protect Cho, they were partners right? Wasn't that the word he used? And that's what partners did wasn't it?

"I can't believe it...this guy could really be my dad." Cho said out of the blue, the rising sleep present in his voice. "I wonder what he's like..."

"Who are you talking about?"

"My dad, I can't wait to meet him..."

"Is this really that important to you?" Shadow asked. "This father of yours. Why does it concern you so much?"

Cho opened his eyes slowly and stared through the darkness surrounding them, a sense of sadness came at the thought. Something like this that brought up so many unwanted feelings in him, he wouldn't share with anyone, he didn't even divulge his feelings on the matter with Nida. But Shadow, he felt safe with Shadow, Shadow knew nothing of humans and this world, of the way their lives worked anyway, he wouldn't get an undesired response from him and if he did it would matter too much. He wouldn't be thought of any differently by Shadow for not being his usual carefree, impish, determined self that wouldn't let anything get to him like this. Shadow held the same view of all humans, telling him this wouldn't change anything.

"I wanna know what happened to me." Cho said seriously, from his voice it could be heard that he was sure of this and was sure a long time ago.

The depressing tent of his voice made Shadow's ears limp slightly and an unwanted shutter crawl through his skin He didn't like to hear Cho sound this way, it reminded him of what he did to the boy...

Cho closed his eyes and dug his finger into Shadow's soft black fur, clinching it needly. He could feel it starting to grow back, gaining some length to it since Nida had cut it. "I wanna know why they left me there...and I wanna meet him, I wanna know about my dad."

"Is it that important to you?" Shadow asked, clearly not understanding of why Cho was so fixated with this enough with this to make him sad. If something made him sad then there was no point in dwelling on it, "This is foolish, having such a desire to just meet someone, there's no reason for it."

"Yes there is." Cho said defensively. "I need too..."

"It's not needed, the thought of a simple person shouldn't make you this weak. You should forget about it."

"It's important!" Cho abruptly lifted his head and shouted, his eyes wide in anger, making Shadow flinch slightly. "It's important to me..."

"I don't understand you humans." Shadow closed his eyes and tilted his head away. "Why, if something makes you this weak and off guard, makes you needlessly go out of your way, you should deal with it. "

Cho sighed, slowly letting his head come to rest on Shadow's back and curling up even closer to the wolf. "You don't get it Shadow, I can't just forget about something like this."

"Is someone you never even seen nor heard of that important to you?" Shadow asked. "Why? Why are these things important to Humans? It doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know." Cho shrugged. "People... People need each other, people need people like their parents...it's not good to be alone, it..." Cho stared into the darkness again, a small pause forcing it's way between his words. "Being alone hurts." he admitted.

Being alone hurts...

Shadow didn't respond, his mind completely settled on those words, being alone hurts. He didn't know why, but he found himself pulling closer to Cho. "And about wanting to know what happened to you?" Shadow asked. "Why do you wish to focus on events that have already happened?"

"Because I have to know what happened to me." Cho said, "I have to have a reason for it, I need to know why."

'I don't understand this, what's the point?' Shadow couldn't comprehend the need to focus on the past, it wasn't like it could be changed, there is no point to it. So why did humans spend so much time on it? Shadow scowled to himself, letting his eyes open and resting on Cho. Why did Cho?

! - ! - !

! - ! - !

"So, this is what it comes too." Zell sighed, folding his arms and looking down at Squall with uncertainty. He stood over Squall's desk, Carbuncle resting on his shoulder and Bahamut junctioned to him. Squall sat on the other side of his desk, Ifrit junctioned to him, the map he'd gotten from Zone's team blown up and rolled over it's surface. "So what are we doing?"

Squall looked up at Zell with a quirked eyebrow, was he seriously asking that question? "We're going to get Griever and Alex back."

"No, not that. I know that." Zell shook his head, folding his arms. "After that, what are we going to do? I mean we can't just let these guys get away with this, we have to stop them. Hyne knows what they're doing to the GFs they capture. And to themselves, I've never seen a human that can change into a monster."

Squall sighed, looking away. "I know... I just don't know what we can do, this seems bigger then we can handle."

"Come on Squall, if we can handle a sorceress in another time then we can handle this."

Squall shook his head, Zell didn't seem to realize a few set backs. "But we couldn't handle Allen." Squall said. "And neither could our GFs. He captured Griever, you remember fighting Griever don't you? He held his own against all of us and our GFs."

And that was the set back.

One which Zell had forgotten about "Yeah... But that's even more a reason that we have to stop theses guys, if we can't fight them, who can?"

(Galbadia.) Ifrit commented.

Which Squall took note of. "Galbadia is their enemy, why don't we let both sides cancel each other out."

(We couldn't do that...) Bahamut said, the first thing he'd said since the attack the previous day. (The whole world is in the cross fire, it would be too risky to sit around and do nothing.)

Zell relayed Bahamut's words, as well as his own. "Besides, if we can't beat Allen now, how are we suppose to beat the winner?"

Squall looked down at the map, noting that everything was divided, and curiously that Balamb Garden was under Gcom's color. In fact so was Tribria, Galbadia still retained their Garden though. Gcom would get even more GF's that way, because if Balamb couldn't stand up to them, there was no way Tribria could, even if it was newly rebuilt and the enrollment count over the last 2 years was higher then their own. "..." He could just imagine what happened here happening there, it would be a disaster, and Tribria couldn't take anymore of those.

Then he could just think of all of the places just like Tribria, that couldn't hope to handle a war.

"Your right... we have to do something about them." Squall agreed. "We need to find away to stop them, or else they'll do to other places what they did to us, maybe worse."

"Yeah." Zell agreed. "We can do this."

"I'm not so sure..." Squall, the more realistic among them, had no clue how they could stand up to Gcom. "Well our first priority is Alex and Griever, then after that we have to do something about Allen."

"Hey wait..." Carbuncle intervened. "Isn't Allen...isn't he Cho's father? Can we really go after him like that?"

"We don't know that for sure." Squall commented. "If we find out otherwise then we'll reassess things."

"Ok I guess..."

"Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out." Zell rubbed Carbuncle's head reassuringly. "So is that all?"

"Oh, one more thing." Squall said, his eyes focused on the map. "We're starting at FH tomorrow, we don't have a choice, we need repairs. And that might be Gcom's next move. We leave early so be ready."

Zell turned towards the elevator, throwing a small acknowledging wave back before he stepped inside and left the office.

Squall leaned back in his chair, resting his hand on his chest as he let out a deep breath. He was completely expectant when he felt Ifrit unjunctioning himself and appeared beside him, the GF didn't say a word.

"Ifrit."

"..."

Squall tilted his eyes toward the fire GF who silently stood with his back turned, staring upward through the cockpit window. He could see the last rays of dusk fading as the darkness of night started to take effect.

He waited patiently, knowing Ifrit wanted to say something.

There was a long stretch of silence before he finally did speak. "...I'm afraid."

"Afraid?" That was the last thing he expected to hear from Ifrit. "Of what?"

"I'm afraid for Griever." Ifrit clarified. "Griever is the strongest person I know, no matter how much I tried, no matter how long, I could never catch up to him, I still can't. If...If he couldn't stop this Allen man, what chance do I have?"

"We." Squall said simply.

"What?"

"We." He repeated. "This isn't a solo endeavor, we're both fighting for him."

"But even together we couldn't do it." Ifrit said, completely dishartened.

And that's when Squall realized something, that's how he must have sounded... "Ifrit..." Squall slowly pushed himself up from his seat, walking to Ifrit's side with slow, thoughtful steps. "I never thought I'd be hearing doubt from you, you were always the one encouraging me when I wanted to give up."

"..." Ifrit didn't respond.

But honestly Squall couldn't blame him for feeling that way, he'd feel that way too if he'd seen the same thing happen to Ifrit that Ifrit saw happen to Griever. In fact he still felt that way a little."Remember back when we were first starting out, and we had that argument back at FH, and you asked me what I was fighting for?"

"Yes."

"I really thought about that for a long time, and I realized that...I was fighting for you."

Ifrit glanced over towards him curiously. "Me?"

"You were so strong, and you always seemed so sure of what to do, even at the worst times. I would have given up so many times if it hadn't been for you, you kept me going." Squall paused, staring up at the stars through the wide windshield of the cockpit with an expression of his own realizations. "We've been defeated before, there were times when I thought the problems we had to face were completely impossible. But you, you always told me we could do it, you always gave me enough not to quit, even if you had to nearly force me to keep going. "

"..."

"We lost plenty of times, to enemy's I thought were impossible for us to win against, but we always did it in the end."

"Nothing compares to this Squall, this person...he beat us in only 13 minutes." Ifrit said doubtfully.

"I can tell you something that compares to this."

Ifrit looked down at him curiously. "What?"

"Time compression." Squall smirked to himself, for some reason the memory amused him slightly now. "I was terrified the first time, and a was even more afraid when we were on our way back and I was completely alone. You could have been anyplace at any second in time, and after Ultimenica... after she nearly killed you I was afraid it was all pointless, and I'd only get lost and never make it back. But we made it though something impossible."

Ifrit had to admit, he never imagined anything he'd go through any of the things he'd went through with Squall. How many times he'd come so close to death, or whatever it was lay beyond time compression. "..." The flame GF folded his arms and looked down thoughtfully.

"We can do this." Squall said simply. "We'll find away." He was starting to become worried when he didn't get an answer, he stood in front of Ifrit, look up at the taller form firmly into the pricing golden eyes. "Your not gonna give up are you?"

Ifrit looked down at Squall with some confusion, and then as soon as he got over the questioning a smirk grew on to his face, snowing his fangs. "I would never give up...but thank you anyway." Ifrit wrapped his arms around Squall and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss before Squall could begin to feel any unwanted feelings when he realized his words were mostly if not all unneeded.

And Squall didn't resist in the slightest, he leaned back into the familiar embrace of strong arms around his back, letting himself relax in the constant warmth of Ifrit's body. His arms slipped around Ifrit's neck and he let his mouth drift open, feeling the larger tongue licking at his lips, waiting for admittance, patiently slip inside his mouth.

"Uh..." Squall tilted his head back as he pulled back from the kiss, feeling Ifrit bite down softly on his bottom lip with piercing fangs, softly licking at the captured flesh while his claws dug into the fabric of the jacket around Squall's back. He nearly tore it off, but Squall managed to slip it off of himself and toss it aside before the GF managed to do so.

Ifrit leaned down farther, softly kissing and licking down Squall's neck with an unexpected gentleness, his fangs gently racking across the sensitive skin. "Uha..." Squall let out a small breath, his hands pressed against Ifrit's chest almost as if pushing him away, feeling along the toned stomach that always seemed to hold a certain level of heat to it. The skin grew warmer and warmer as he went downward, his fingers becoming entangled in the fiery red sheath shrouding the half hard length.

Ifrit felt the heat inside of him begin to stir at the touch that wasn't his own, a small jolt rushed though his body, causing a small growl to slip from his throat. Squall began unbuckling his pants, tilting his head back as he felt Ifrit softly nipping along his collar bone. He could feel heat from the hot, warmth of Ifrit's breath along his chest as the Fire GF's tongue made soft licks across his nipples.

Squall pushed his pants down and almost immediately afterwords he felt Ifrit's hands take hold of his now bare waist as if waiting for that action to be taken. Ifrit dropped to his knees and the warm tongue left a wet trail behind as the GF ran it down his stomach, across his waist, and teasingly down the bottom of Squall's hardened cock. "?" He paused there, looking up at Squall with eyes silently inquiring a question the boy knew already. Squall wasn't completely sure what Ifrit would do next, he never was, but he simply gave a small nod in wanting agreement.

Ifrit slipped his hands underneath Squall's legs and lifted one on to his shoulder, slowly easing Squall on to the ground and laying him on his back. An impish smirk crossed his lips as he lent down and pressed his mouth against Squall's entrance. His fingers tightened their grip on Squall's elevated leg resting on his shoulder subconsciously as he thrust his tongue past the tight ring muscles and into the delicate inner walls.

"I-Ifrit..." Squall shifted around a bit from the teasing sensations washing through his body in waves, soft, weak moans slipped from his clinched mouth despite his best attempts at stifling them. Ifrit gently ran the tip of his tongue against the top of the inner soft muscles, stimulating the passage way with skillfully delicate licks, then suddenly and forcefully thrusting the large tongue in and out of the hole. "Unnaa!" Squall grimaced and reached down into the fiery red hair atop the other male's hair, grabbing on Ifrit's horns and arching upward.

'Hmm...' The golden eyes rolled over Squall's body from the awkward position, he loved eliciting such needy reactions from the stoic boy. He gave one last, long lick across the ring muscles of Squall's entrance before he pulled back, slipping his horns from Squall's grip. '...' He paused for a moment, pulling Squall's leg on his shoulder closer as he took in the sight of the human laying panting below him with audible breaths, sweat soaking the white shirt covering his torso.

Ifrit rested his free hand on Squall's chest and moved forward, pressing his now fully hard erection against Squall's wet entrance. Pushing the tip in almost tauntingly before pausing. "Ready?" He asked, Ifrit had a way of being oddly delicate and rough at the same time.

Squall gave another small nod, waiting with an anxious energy as the taller male slowly pushed the hard length into him. Squall groaned softly in pain, his eyes clinching shut and his hands curling into tight fist as the cock slid easily into his body, stretching him around the hard flesh. "Uhha..." Squall's head fell back onto floor as Ifrit receded and pushed the considerably larger cock into his body again. He could feel the heat drifting off of the larger form and enveloping him, and the warmth of Ifrit's member soothing it's own pain.

"Squall." Ifrit let out his own groan at the tightness hugging him with every movement, he gave another harder thrust and Squall's tightness nearly swallowed his cock halfway. He growled with a low rumbling and forced himself to halt.

"Huh?" Squall forced one eye open in questioning, watching as Ifrit pushed his leg off of his shoulder. The same impish smirk returned as Ifrit reached down,wrapped his arms around Squall's back and pulled the boy in into his lap, their chests pressing together in a swift heat, thrusting upward into the warm tightness. "I-Ifrit..."Squall quickly grabbed ahold of Ifrit's shoulder before he lost his balance, letting his head rest on top of the soft red hair of Ifrit's. "Uhnn..."

Squall wrapped his legs around Ifrit's waist and take whole of the Fire GF's horns. The darker flesh intertwined with the paler skin in single movements in unison, until with one last drive upward from the large cock, Squall came. He cringed, burying his face into Ifrit's hair with a loud grunt as he came, sending his cum jetting from the twitching member and onto the heated expanses of Ifrit's stomach.

Ifrit hugged Squall's body closer, pushing him down roughly as he drove his cock up in to the rigged body with one final thrust. He roared loudly as his seed expelled from him volumes, quickly over flowing out of the tightness, hot to the touch. Easing away the pain.

! - ! - !

Zell rested his hand on Carbuncle's head, gently rubbing his fingers softly across the half sleep GF's laying in his lap. Carbuncle relaxed familiarly, his half-lidded eyes focusing barely. When he was in Zell's lap like this nothing could make him worry, not Alex, not Gcom, nothing, he was amazed at how Zell could do that to him.

Zell subconsciously continued to pet Carbuncle, but his eyes were fixed on Bahamut standing before him. He had to stop Bahamut from simply going off on his own tonight, which he'd done all of yesterday, and had barely said a word to the boy when he finally did return. "Bahamut." Zell spoke with obvious concern in his voice. "We have to talk."

Bahamut sighed inwardly, but still managed to keep his firm external appearance as always. He was never one to recede from things, so he didn't, no mater how much he didn't want to have this conversation. "Fine."

Carbuncle's ears perked and with out warning he stood up in Zell's lap, "I'll...be back." He said simply, unable to conjure up an excuse to leave, he didn't want to be here for this, even with out his memory he knew he didn't need to be here. So with his mind focusing on it's own thoughts, Carbuncle crept sleepily to the door of Zell's dorm and slipped out of it, making sure to pull it closed behind him.

Zell shifted his hands through the stray blonde strands of his hair, not knowing if he should be content that Carbuncle left them alone or dishartened because he wanted to keep him close. "Bahamut, you've been acting really strange lately, you've been avoiding me completely." Zell said, looking up at the dragon seriously. "Why?"

"I've simply been thinking." Bahamut responded indifferently.

"About what?"

"Nothing important." Bahamut told him.

Zell lend forward a bit, not knowing where to take this next. "I'm worried about you, you've been more like a statue then usual. And you barely said a word to me."

"I apologize for that." Bahamut said humbly. "But there were simply things I needed to think about."

Zell rolled his eyes and folded his arms, "Nothing important."

Bahamut looked at him with a slight perplexity. "What?"

"You told me it was nothing important, but your whole demeanor changes ." Zell said, almost accusingly. "I know you Bahamut, this isn't something small."

Bahamut's expression grew even more disregarding, completely dismissing Zell in his quiet way. "It's nothing you need be concerned about."

"Oh come on, don't give me that." Zell snorted. "Just tell me what it was."

"..." Bahamut closed his eyes and looked away with a clear annoyance.

And it wasn't like that ever detoured Zell before. "Heh,Bahamut, you were always so good at that brooding block of wood thing." He said with a laugh that wasn't from amusement. "Why don't you just tell me?"

And just because Zell kept asking didn't mean that Bahamut would tell him, if he wanted to he could just stand there silently and completely ignore him. There were things Zell still hadn't gotten an answer too, and with Bahamut's will it would be a considerable amount of time before even Zell could start to ware him down. "..."

"No way, your not pulling that on me." Zell abruptly stood up, planting his hands on Bahamut's shoulders and looked firmly up at closed eyes. "I'm not giving up on this, there is something wrong, we both know it."

"..."

"Not saying anything to me won't help this, we're partners, your can tell me stuff like this."

"It's not important." Bahamut repeated, hoping Zell would simply take his answer and leave it alone. Zell was not the person he wanted to speak too about what thoughts his mind held, in fact no one was.

Bahamut peeked a single eye open, watching Zell's expression drop to a disappointment he hated the sight of on the boy's face.

Zell sighed, letting his hands fall from Bahamut's shoulders to his side. "Bahamut, we can't...we can't do this, you can't just keep doing that, you can't shut down when I ask you things about yourself. I'm worried about you, ever since yesterday you've been acting strangely..." Zell's voice trailed off, his words stopping completely as a thought came into his mind, after realizing what he just said.

Yesterday... His mind recalled all of the events of that faithful morning that was about to spawn a chain of events he couldn't possibly predict.

Zell's face flashed with an inspiration, like he'd just found some hope for something unknown he thought would never happen. "Yesterday! When you saw Allen you sounded...It's him isn't it?"

Bahamut flinched slightly when he heard Zell's accusation, but he quickly clinched his jaw and stiffened his expression, not responding.

But Zell saw it, and he knew he was right. "That's it isn't it!" Zell half shouted. "It's him, you sounded afraid of him."

Bahamut didn't respond, but his usually stone strait expression was slightly unnerved, and the dragon practically gave off an air of tenseness that Zell felt in waves.

"Why, tell me why?" Zell asked, his voice pleading desperately. He couldn't let Bahamut go on this way, this was something important that happened to him, and if he knew then he could help. "He...He..."

Hey wait...Zell stopped, staring up at Bahamut with a quiet look of fading confusion and contemplation. Allen was after GFs, and Bahamut had a fear of him, considering what he already knew about Bahamut... Zell dropped his head, his voice growing quiet, but with the clear trembling of anger."... He was the one wasn't he?"

Bahamut didn't speak, he only looked away, losing the firm will his expression once held, instead it was replaced by a reluctance, or an embarrassment, possibly even fear.

"What happened?"

"..." Bahamut didn't answer, he didn't make a single move.

Zell's grip on his shoulders tightened and the boy's hands began shaking him, hard. Bahamut forced his vision back to the boy with a startled flinch, unable to look away as Zell lifted his head, tears forming in his eyes. "What happened!" He screamed.

Bahamut couldn't believe what he was seeing 'Z-Zell...'. "Why..."

"W-what?" Zell's eyes locked with the green one's, completely unwavering dispute the wetness blurring his vision.

"Why? It happened in the past, it's not important."

"Because what happened to you is important! I wanna know, I wanna help you!" Zell said, His arms starting to tremble with fading strength. "You sounded so sad, so messed up when you told me what went on in that place, I know it was horrible." Zell knew there was more too it, he knew it. There were times when Bahamut wasn't so on guard, times when they were completely happy and he let his defenses slip just a little. And with the junction Zell could see things, flashes of things, things Bahamut didn't think or tell him about. And he couldn't stand it. "This guy, he did something to you to make you like this...tell me please...let me help."

He didn't want Zell to help, that was the last thing he wanted, "No, this isn't your problem, it's needless for me to burden you with it."

Zell glared up at Bahamut, was he serious, after everything, was that the answer he was giving? "Damnit Bahamut! You can't tell me that!" Zell shouted,. "Don't you understand, we're partners, that means me and you together. If you have a problem, I have a problem, if you have a burden, I have a burden."

"Zell..." What could he say to that, Zell was so determined... "But I-"

"Bahamut, it's ok." Zell smiled slightly, wiping his eyes with his wrist. He didn't know why he was crying, it just came out. "Just tell me, it's alright to."

Bahamut stared down into the blue eyes, unable to speak for a longer time then he realized. Every time he attempted to speak something other then the truth of the matter, the words seemed to stall. Bahamut sighed, dropping his eyes from sight. "It happened a while ago, I cannot recall after being in that place for so long."

Zell smiled again, throwing his arms around Bahamut's neck, "That's alright."

Bahamut sighed inwardly, he could believe he was actually going to tell this, to Zell. "It was a lot of people, most of them were in white. I remember a lot of white... I'm not sure exactly what they were doing to me, I over heard a lot of things about Junctioning and Drawing systems. I am not certain of that, most of my extent there was unknown to me."

"What did they do to you?"

"I'm not sure completely, test, experiments, a lot of things." Bahamut said with clear uncertainty. "Everyday...I think it was...They would inject different things, or another variation of the same thing." The first few dozen burned horribly until it left his system hours later, the next few dozen variations made the point of injection sting uncontrollably. An even longer, seeming well over a hundred, string of unknown chemicals make his whole arm, or leg or where ever they decided to put it too weak to move. Then his whole body too weak to move, they seemed to stick with that one, until the next test of something new probably more then a year later that made his head cloudy.

They stuck with that one too.

"They tested other things on me, they connected large...devices of some sort to me, I'm not sure of what they were doing to me..." But he was sure of the pain. He was amazed at how those humans could create such things, he wasn't sure of what they were, or what their intent was, all he knew was they hurt. Some of them caused pain he couldn't even describe, like his soul was being ripped out, or his heart was filling with air and about to burst. One of them forced his body into a ball, reminiscent of what happened to Griever when Ultimenica junctioned herself to him. That pain was the worse, because though they brought him out of it alright, most of the time, he felt like every one of his bones were broken he all of his internals where smashed apart. Not to mention his muscles felt like they had been literally torn into shreds.

"How long ago was this?" Zell asked.

"I don't know, many years ago." Bahamut said, he'd easily lost track of time in that place, he hadn't seen sunlight in years, until Zell came.

"And...This Allen guy, he was the one in charge?"

"Yes." Bahamut grimaced at the name, that man, he'd never seen any human like him before. Allen, he found ways to contain him, and most of the time he didn't even have to fight the dragon to do it. And even all the while he never said an intelligent word to him, no matter what Bahamut said he was completely ignored by any and everyone, like wasn't there, like he was nothing. And after years what became the worst thing for Bahamut was the way Allen looked at him, and that was just the way he talked to him, like he was nothing, like he wasn't there. At best Allen spoke to him as if he was a pet of some sort.

He was just a tool, a tool to be used and nothing more. And why would someone speak to a tool like him? Why would they treat him like he was a person, like he was anything other then an inanimate object?

Bahamut hated that more then anything. But even though that hate of Allen's treatment of him, the man found ways to make him fear him with out even trying, Allen never tried to do that. As much as Bahamut hated to admit it, he was petrified of the man, Allen made him helpless, he never could fight against him, and pain always came under Allen's order. This man was dangerous.

"Oh Hyne...Why didn't you tell me?" Zell hugged Bahamut even tighter.

"What difference would it have made?" Bahamut snorted.

"That doesn't matter, if had just told me maybe I could have helped you." Zell said. "That's not the kinda thing you wanna carry around."

"Telling you wouldn't have changed anything. It was pointless." Bahamut said almost stubbornly.

"That's not true! If you told me then we-..." Zell's voice drifted away from him in mid-sentence for the second time, his eyes softening slightly into a disappointed look. He started to put some things together, about all of what Bahamut was saying... "You still don't trust me all the way."

Bahamut seemed surprised at the realization, about to say something, but then quickly shutting his mouth and looking away.

"It's true, I knew it." Zell seemed hurt at this, unable to look up at Bahamut either. "Why?"

"Zell I...I..." He couldn't deny it or downplay it at all, the truth was he didn't trust Zell completely. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't, it just didn't happen. "..."

"Bahamut, please tell me why?" Zell asked. "I trust you with my life, doesn't that count for anything, I have to get some trust points for that."

"I do trust you Zell." Bahamut said, again hoping that Zell would accept his answer.

"Just not enough. I mean come on, this is important stuff. This guy took Griever, Griever, and look what he did to you. I thought you trusted me enough to tell this at lest for this-" Zell... Zell let go of Bahamut and took a small pace away, his back turned to the dragon. "Bahamut...what were you thinking about, really?"

"Zell...It-"

"Don't tell me it's nothing, just tell me..."

"I...I"

Zell didn't need an answer, he already knew it. " You were gonna leave weren't you? You were gonna go off after Allen by yourself?" Just by Bahamut's non responsiveness he knew he was right. "I can't believe it, you were really gonna leave and not even say anything."

Bahamut shook his head, going after Zell with quick steps and wrapping his arms around the boy to keep him from pacing even farther away. "That's why I told you it wasn't important, because I didn't go anywhere, I won't leave you."

"But you were thinking about it." Zell said. "And it wasn't just a little thing in the back of your head, you were really thinking about it."

Bahamut mentally kicked himself, he shouldn't have said anything at all. He didn't trust Zell completely, he didn't trust humans completely for that matter, but he didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want to make him feel bad, he didn't want to make him doubt him. "Your afraid."

Zell shook his head. "What are you talking about."

"Your still afraid." Bahamut told him, holding on to him with strong, protective arms. "Your still afraid that I'm going to leave."

"I-I'm not afraid of...You still don't trust me, you were gonna go, you admitted it!"

"Yes, I thought about it." Bahamut admitted. "I was going after him myself, he nearly killed you, I didn't want that to happen to you. But I didn't leave, do you know why?"

Alright, he'd bite. "Why?" Zell asked reluctantly.

"I promised you I wouldn't, and I won't. If I wanted to leave then I assure you I would have."

Zell dropped his head and removed his eyes from sight, he felt more tears forming in his eyes. Now he understood why he was crying, it was because Bahamut was right. "How do I..." Zell clinched his jaw and shook his head. "... Your still afraid of me, your still afraid I'm gonna do something to hurt you. "

"Zell..." Bahamut lifted his hands to Zell's shoulders and turned the boy around so that they were face to face. And with out reluctance he lent down and kissed him, slipping his tongue into the surprised mouth, his eyes fixed on the startled blue ones staring up at him. "I won't leave you."

"And you can trust me."

"I do." Bahamut said.

Zell sighed, letting his head fall against Bahamut's chest. "Why don't I believe that?"

"I thrust you Zell." Bahamut said firmly, "I do."

Zell tilted his head back and sighed, a nervous smile coming on to his face. "If you stop keeping that thought in the back of your head that I'm gonna end up being like those other guys. I'll stop thinking you'll just get sick of me and leave."

! - ! - !

Watts sighed, holding the small white bird up about to face level, softly under the wings with both hands. His jacket and hat were gone, the sleeves of the green shirt he wore underneath were rolled up as he knelt on the bathroom floor beside a half full tub. "Come on Enix, just work with me." The man pleaded."I'm not Zone but I won't hurt you."

He made some progress, Enix at first seemed so tense that he'd jump out of Watt's hands at any given moment. Over the course of an hour's time he was able to get the small bird to at lest let him hold him, but he couldn't keep him in the water for more then 5 seconds.

"I'm gonna go slow, alright." Watts said, slowly dropping his outstretched arms toward the tub, Enix began to look around uneasily. "I'm just gonna put you in, real slow ok?" Watts paused slightly, holding the small bird just above the clear surface of the clean liquid, then eased the baby Chocobo into the water.

"!" Enix squawked loudly and began struggling in Watt's hands as he felt his legs and his stomach submerge into the water. "Kewk! Kewk!" Enix flailed his wings around and kicked with wild splashes, he managed to wiggle his way out of Watt's hands and fly a short distance to the floor outside of the tub.

"What's wrong with taking a bath, it's just water, you drink it don't you?" Watts reasoned, but he felt silly trying to beg a Chocobo to take a bath.

"Hey Watts."

Watts glanced back over his shoulder and saw Zone walking into the bathroom, the man's eyes immediately grew with some indescribable light when he saw the small bird. "Anything wrong sir?"

"Nah, everything is fine." Zone knelt down beside Watts and lifted Enix into his arms, ignoring the wetness dripping on to his clothing. "Hey little guy."

"Kewk!" Enix fluttered his wings and squawked happily, looking up at the man as if he'd just gotten something he'd been waiting for.

"What's about you?" Zone asked, "How have you been doing?"

"Not so good." Watts shook his head, scratching the curly black hair with a wet hand. "I've been trying to get him to go into the water for an hour but he just won't do it."

"Aww, what's the problem little guy." Zone softly ran his fingers through the white feathers that still hadn't gained any real consistency. They were still weak and damaged, he felt one stuck between his finger as he lifted his hands. "You have to take a bath... Let me try."

"Be my guest." Watts stepped back willingly.

Zone held the he bird over the tub, and saw his happiness start to slip, drifting farther and farther as Zone lowered him more and more. "It's ok, It's just water." He tried to reassure him, but it didn't seem to be working, Enix only became more and nervous. "I wouldn't do something anything to hurt you, relax it's only a bath." Zone said, gently lowering Enix's legs into the water and seeing the baby Chocobo grow an almost feared look on his face and began to kick lightly, though with more restraint then he had with Watts. "See, it's just water."

Enix seemed to be trying to tolerate it until the tip of his wing, held tightly to his side, touch the water's surface, "Wark! Wark!" He began struggling, squirming firmly out of Zone's hands and with a few flaps of injured wings he managed to fly out of the water and clear the edge of the tub before all the fighting against Watts for the last hour started to catch up with him and he fell weakly to the ground.

"Enix..." Zone sighed with a slight disappointment. He gently slid his hands underneath Enix and scoped the bird into his arms, he couldn't keep his eyes off of the sad look the small bird had, meowing with soft moans as quiet as his breaths. He clung to Zone, as if pleading for something "Aw man..." Zone looked back at Watt's, who only shrugged unknowingly. "I don't think we should make him go in, he's really scared for some reason, maybe he's not ready yet."

"I don't understand it." Watts said, "He's drunken water before, why is he so afraid of it now."

"I don't know, he hasn't drunk any water since we've had him." Zone told him. "The closest thing he's had was milk, Cho said it was better for him right now."

"Hmm..." Watts leaned forward towards Enix and looked over him scrutinizingly. "Maybe he's had something traumatic happen to him with bodies of water, he could have almost drowned before."

"Yeah, maybe that's it. I remember we had to pry Matthew out of his room for 3 weeks after we found him." Zone softly ran his fingers over Enix's back in an attempt to calm hin down . "Alright, we won't make you go again. I'm sorry." He cooed. "I didn't know it made you so mad."

"Perhaps we should try giving him a sponge bath." Watts suggested.

"Hey wait a minute." Zone looked back at the man with slight questioning. "You've been trying to give him a bath for an hour, and you think about this now?"

"I just now came to me sir." Watts said simply.

"That's not a bad idea, maybe he'll take that better." Zone slipped his hands under Enix's wings and lifted the bird up to eye level, "What do you say little guy? Wanna try that instead?"

"Kewk."

"Alright then! Watts, give me a towel and some soap." Zone sat Enix down on the edge of the tub, and was amazed at his grip, that bird really didn't want to fall. "We can do this right?"

"If we can handle Matthew, this should be easy for us sir."

! - ! - !