Dearest Readers,

There are lots of realizations in this chapter, and it's definitely one that is going to start turning the tide for the rest of the chapters that make up this season (and possibly even the next one). I hope you all enjoy! Updates are now every Monday, and there may be a few others every once in a while if I'm feeling up to it.

Let me know what you think!

XOXO Ally Layne.

Holy Water

Chapter 38: The Journey Inside Dean's Mind

It became very clear that Dean did not function well without sleep. Not to mention, he seemed to have a habit of going absolutely ballistic while running off of coffee and donuts.

Persie, on the other hand, was enjoying the elixir her father had gifted her, which allowed her to sleep normally. She was thankful that she didn't have to try to stay awake after what happened to her, considering how exhausted she was when she woke up.

She had a feeling if she were Dean right now, she wouldn't be doing much better.

It had been two days since they made the discovery that Dean could now be put under the control of that one weird dude who had apparently seen all her worst nightmares. And who had proceeded to force her to relive them.

If Persie ever met him, she was going to kill him. And she would do it happily.

Dean was currently speeding down the road back to the motel at night after the latest lead was trashed. Bela, who Persie still struggled to speak two words too that weren't threats, has apparently been trying to scry for his location but has kept leading them into dead ends.

Sam was currently trying to calm his brother down while Annabeth was sitting in the back of the Impala with Persie, and was searching something up on her laptop.

To this, Persie was slightly confused as there was no Wi-Fi for the blonde to use, but considering the laptop was magical she didn't bother asking too many questions. She also didn't bother asking why her friend had been keeping her backpack so close to her for the past few days, which was a little out of place for her.

"This Jeremy guy's not a frigging ghost," Dean bit out, putting his foot down on the gas in his frustration. "Where the hell could he be?"

"Dean, are you sure you don't want me to drive?" Sam asked, looking over at how his brother was fidgeting and looked like he was a volcano about to erupt with his anger. "You seem a little…"

Dean's glare cut him off.

"Caffeinated?" Annabeth offered, still looking down at her laptop in front of her with a small dent between her brows as she focused.

Dean looked at her in the rearview mirror, and let out a huff. "Thanks for the news flash, Edison," he grounded out.

Persie put a hand on his shoulder, in what she tried to make a calming gesture. "We're gonna find him, Hot Shot, don't get yourself too worked up."

He let out another grumble, but didn't say any biting words back at her.

She figured at this point that was as nice as she was going to get, at least until the poor man would be able to get some sleep.

His cellphone started to ring, and she bit her lip to hide any sort of amusement at the sight he made while he struggled to get a hold of it from his front pocket. It looked like even Sam in all his worry had a crack a smile.

"Tell me you got something," he demanded harshly, widening Persie's eyes.

She nearly jumped out of her seat when he yelled, "What the hell, Bobby?!"

Uncle B was gonna pitch a fit from that attitude, if Dean wasn't too careful. But from how the conversation proceeded to go, it didn't sound like anything good was happening from the two back at the motel.

Apparently Bela was still struggling to scry, and Bobby was up and out of leads.

"Great! Well, I'm just gonna blow my brains out now!"

Persie was rubbing her temples as Dean cut off the call, angrier that he had been at the beginning. This was borderline the level of anger she would expect if someone had been threatening Sam or trying to mess with her, which was saying something.

Before she could say anything to try to calm the man down, Dean veered off into an outlet road, making her grab for the oh shit handle only to find there wasn't one in the old Impala.

"What the fuck, Dean!" Annabeth yelled out as she nearly went face first into Persie's boobs.

He pulled into a clearing, then shut off the vehicle and placed the keys in the console. "All right, that's it. I'm done," he said, reclining himself into Persie's legs, making her curse.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, clearly confused.

"Taking myself a long overdue nap."

"What?" Multiple people in the car barked. Persie looked at the back of his head warily, "Jeremy can come after you, Dean."

He snuggled back into the seat even more. "That's the idea."

"Excuse me?" Sam sputtered out.

"Come on man, we can't find him, so let him come to me."

Sam's expression changed from confusion to hesitancy. "On his own turf? Where he's basically a god?"

"I can handle it."

Persie sighed. "And I've stopped gods before, Hot Shot. You're not doing this alone."

Sam nodded his agreement, before reaching over and pulling out some of Dean's hair, ignoring the cry in pain Dean let out.

"What are you doing?" Dean opened his eyes to ask, watching as Sam pulled out the Dream Root from his bag.

"Coming in with you," Sam deadpanned, before handing a vial back to Persie. "We both are."

Annabeth looked between Persie and Sam with a knowing expression. "And I'll stay awake and monitor your conditions. Someone's gotta make sure you guys don't bleed out if you're stabbed in the dream world."

Dean glared at his brother. "Neither of you are coming with me."

"Why not? At least now it's three against one," Persie butted in. "Not to mention I usually count myself as more than one person so it's more like four against one."

"I'll be there in spirit," Annabeth said dryly, typing some more items into her laptop before gently letting it close.

Dean looked between his girlfriend and brother, and let a little fear seep into his features. "I don't want you digging around in my head."

"Too bad," Sam answered, before finishing up the concoction in his hand.

Dean let out a long sigh as Persie and Sam both took a few drinks of the Dream Root, and snorted when Persie's coughing started. "Gods, that's disgusting."

Dean quickly drifted off into sleep, followed by Sam and Persie. Annabeth watched them closely as their consciousness faded into the dream world.

Annabeth wasn't there when the three of them woke up.

Sam and Dean traded odd looks, but when they looked into the back of the Impala, Persie was the only one there. She gulped. "Looks like we're in your head, Hot Shot."

The faint sound of branches cracking was heard from outside. "There's someone out there," Sam said softly.

They took that as an invitation to get out of the Impala. "We find Jeremy, stop him, and get out," Persie muttered, running her hand through her hair.

Dean looked over his shoulder at the slightly frazzled woman. "Seph, you okay?"

She felt herself slowly sinking back into the place she was before he found her with Annabeth. "I'll be fine once we make sure Jeremy is down for the count."

He eyed her warily. "You shouldn't have come. I had a feeling this would be hard on you-"

"I'm where I need to be," she insisted, cutting him off. "There's no way I'd let you guys do this on your own."

Bobby had spilled the beans on how out of it she really was when she woke up from her time in the dream world once she was sleeping again and couldn't hear how terrified her Uncle really had been. Dean knew there was trauma, but it had astounded him as to how much there actually was.

And the fact that she would face this sort of thing again for him? Especially after how he treated her?

He wasn't sure how to process that.

Instead of responding, he reached out and grabbed her hand, and laced their fingers together. He wasn't going to be letting her out of his sight if he had anything to say about it.

Sam walked over to their side of the vehicle and gave them a nod to head toward the direction in the woods the sound had come from. They slowly walked forward, heading into the brush, only to be cut off by a glowing light that turned into a woman sitting on a picnic blanket with a basket and a glass of wine in her hand.

Persie felt her eyes widen as she saw such a beautiful woman, dressed in a flattering yellow gingham dress, eye Dean as though she had been waiting for him her entire life.

She looked up to see Dean looking at the woman as though he was seeing a ghost.

"Hey," she said, giving him a wide smile. "You gonna sit down?"

Dean blinked a few more times at the apparition of a woman Persie didn't know existed. She squeezed his hand as the woman grabbed the other glass of wine from the basket. "Come on, we only have an hour before we have to pick Ben up from baseball."

He looked down at Persie, who was looking at the woman with a calm curiosity, then over his shoulder at Sam who looked completely in shock. "I've never had this dream before," he tried. Then looked down at the ground as he heard Sam move closer to his side. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Sorry," Sam offered, before looking past his brother at Persie who was still looking at the woman with a thoughtful expression.

"Dean," the woman spoke, making the man in question look up at her. "I love you."

Persie squeezed his hand once more.

And the woman vanished.

"Where'd she go?" Persie asked, looking at Dean and Sam in blatant confusion.

Dean looked down at her and opened his mouth to say something… anything, really, to try to explain what they had just seen- especially with how their relationship is currently, but Sam beat him to his words.

"Dean," Sam said, pointing to something in the woods, then took off running.

"That asshole," Persie scathed, seeing the figure and recognizing him before she took off running, pulling Dean with her. "I'm gonna kill that bastard."

She didn't let go of Dean's hand, which is probably why when Dean stopped in his tracks, she nearly fell to the ground at the jolt.

"What? Dean-"

He turned her around, and suddenly they weren't in the forest anymore. They were in some creepy-ass hallway that had rooms going all the way down the doors were closed, and Dean slowly guided her down the hallway, before stopping as the door at the end slowly opened itself.

"What the fuck," she grumbled. "What kind of place is this?"

Dean swallowed. "It's a motel. It looks old and moldy as hell, but I remember this place from when I was a kid."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm with you."

"Good."

And slowly they started walking forward again. Dean slowly opened the door all the way to see what was on the other side, before going in, quickly followed by Persie on his rear.

It was a motel room, like Dean said. But there was someone sitting at the desk, a man, who she could hardly see.

"Jeremy?" Dean called out, just before the man flipped the desk light on.

Persie nearly gasped. She'd know that man anywhere. As the man flicked the light on and off a few more times, she could feel Dean tighten up at her side. He knew who this was, too.

The Dean Winchester seated at the desk was void of any light in his green eyes, and had slightly slumped shoulders. When he walked into the light, Persie could see those things even more clearly.

"Hey, Dean," he said mockingly.

Slowly, Dean's hand slipped from her fingers. "Well, aren't you a handsome son of a gun."

"We need to talk."

Persie stayed behind her Dean as he slowly moved, circling around the other version of himself in the room "I get it, I get it. I'm my own worst nightmare. That it? Huh? Like the Superman III Junkyard scene, a little mano y mano with myself?"

The other Dean circled back. "Joke all you want, smartass. But you can't lie to me." The seriousness in his one was off putting, and something she had only seen a few times in all the time she had spent with the Winchesters.

She tried to grab her Dean's hand, to let him know he's not alone- but he slipped his hand from hers when she tried. She wasn't dumb. She knew he had to do this for himself.

But she hoped he understood he wasn't alone.

"I know the truth," the other Dean spoke. "I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror and hate what you see."

"Sorry pal," Her Dean spoke, and she watched as he forced an easy-going smile on his face. "It's not gonna work. You're not real."

"Sure I am. I'm you."

"I don't think so. See, this is my siesta, not yours." He lifted his hand in the air. "All I got to do is snap my fingers and you go bye-bye," he mocked, before snapping his fingers once.

Nothing happened.

Persie watched as he did it a few more times and took a deep breath as they both came to the realization that Dean really didn't have any power here.

The other Dean titled his head predatorily. "I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you."

The door slammed shut and locked at the other Dean's command.

Persie reached into her power, and felt a familiar tug in her gut, but held off.

Dean had to do this. This wasn't her fight.

But she was here if he needed her.

The other Dean smirked. "Like I said," he held up a gun. "We need to talk."

"We do?"

The other Dean chuckled maniacally. "Yes, we do. You have some problems, Dean. Problems we need to talk about. I mean, you're going to hell, and you won't lift a finger to stop it."

Dean started to circle back around the other Dean, and Persie deftly kept to his side. She was definitely not looking the way this conversation was going.

"Talk about low self esteem," the other Dean continued. "Then, again, I guess it's not much of a life worth saving, now is it?"

"Come on, Dean. Come on. Wake up," Her Dean started to mutter.

Persie stopped in her path behind him, looking at her boyfriend with wide eyes. So, this was all true. This is what he was avoiding when she and Sam said they were going to go with him into the dream world.

He didn't want all of this to start stirring up questions he didn't want to answer.

"I mean, after all, you got nothing outside of Sam," the other Dean added. "You are nothing. You're as mindless and obedient as an attack dog."

Her Dean shook his head. "That's not true."

"No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream?" The other Dean titled his head again. "I mean, your car- that's dad's. Your favorite leather jacket? Dad's. Your music? Dad's. Do you even have an original thought?"

Her Dean shook his head, opening his mouth, but the other Dean gave him an ugly grin.

"No. No, all there is is, "Watch out for Sammy. Look after your little brother, Boy." You can still hear your dad's voice in your head, can't you? Clear as a bell?" He titled the gun to point to his temple.

"Just shut up," her Dean spat.

"I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you. Boss you around." He took a few steps forward. "But Sam… Sam, he doted on. Sam, he loved."

"I mean it. I'm getting angry."

"Dad knew who you really were," he continued. "A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?"

Persie felt her hands clenched into fists, then her Dean exploded.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled, before pushing the other Dean into the wall before he landed on the desk. "My father was an obsessed bastard!" Just as the other Dean started to get up, Dean kicked him back into the wall and followed with a punch, grabbing the gun from the other Dean's hands, and used it to choke him up against the wall.

"All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam- that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let mom die! Who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me, and I don't deserve to go to hell!"

He withdrew from where he was choking his other self, and with those last words he shot two rounds into the other Dean's chest.

Persie stood there, behind him, a hand covering her mouth. Before he could look back and see her horror, she walked forward to his heavy-breathing form and took the gun from his hands softly.

He took a few deep breaths, gave her a grateful look, and turned back to the other version of him. Just in time to see it's eyes flicker open, completely black like a demon, and it sat up.

"You can't escape me, Dean. You're gonna die. And this, this is what you're gonna become!" Then, it lunged.

Before her Dean could do anything, Persie stepped up, held up the gun, and fired, nailing the demon Dean in the forehead. "Not on my watch," she grunted.

Dean looked at her to see her staring down the body with a hardened look on her face, before it softened considerably and looked up at him. "Well, Hot Shot. I think we're gonna need to talk."

And then, they woke up.

Sam and Dean looked at each other, both breathing heavily, while Persie gave Annabeth a grin. "Got some work done while we did the hard stuff, Wise Girl?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Shut it, Seaweed Brain."

Dean looked into the rearview mirror, and his eyes locked with hers. And he smiled. "We can talk after I sleep for real, that okay with you, Seph?"

She winked.

.

.

.

Back at the motel, Dean was on his phone trying to call Bela, who had left before they could say goodbye. Not that Persie wanted to say goodbye to the woman, but it was odd for the flashy woman to leave without making a scene.

Sam, Bobby, and Annabeth walked into the room, just as Dean snapped his cellphone closed. "Hey, you guys seen Bela?" He asked. "She's not in her room and she's not answering her phone."

Annabeth raised a brow. "She must've taken off or something."

"Just like that? It's a little weird."

Bobby crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, if you ask me what's weird is why she helped us in the first place," he commented.

Sam snapped his head to the older man. "I thought you saved her life?"

Persie bit back a groan as Uncle B's brows furrowed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The thing in Flagstaff," Dean offered.

Bobby shook his head. "That thing in Flagstaff was an amulet. I gave her a good deal, that's all."

Dean looked at Sam, both looking confused. Sam began, "Well, then why did-"

"You boys better check your pockets," Bobby cut him off, before looking over at Persie and Annabeth. "You ladies, too."

Dean looked between them all for a few seconds before it dawned on him. He turned to the closet and strode over to the safe, which had already been opened. "No, no, no, no!"

It was empty.

"The Colt!" Sam exclaimed, hurrying over to look into the safe over Dean's shoulder. "Bela stole the Colt."

"Damn it!" Bobby yelled.

Annabeth quickly held up a hand. "Wait, actually I have something to admit."

Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at her, all caught up in their individual anger to really care why she held them up from tracking Bela down. "What?" Persie asked her friend.

Annabeth let a sly grin slip onto her lips as she opened her backpack and pulled out a gun. The Colt. "I had the Colt replicated by the Hephaestus cabin last time Bela was working with us. She seemed too intrigued by it, and I had a feeling it would come in handy."

Sam blinked. "So, Bela stole the replica?"

Annabeth nodded, handing the gun over to Dean who made grabby hands at it, allowing him to inspect it closely. "I knew she was going to try to make a grab for it while helping us. It's what I would've done had I been her."

Bobby let out a long sigh. "Thank God for women."

Persie raised a brow. "Thank the gods for daughters of Athena who think through every scenario a million times over."

Annabeth gave her a wink.

"Well, I gotta head out, I got a call about a lead in Maine I need to follow up on," Bobby said, looking at Persie knowingly. "Are you gonna want to come with me this time?"

She gave him a smile. "I think you know the answer, Uncle B."

He shrugged. "Maybe another time, then. I'm impressed at how good you are, you know. Especially for just getting started in this business."

She barked out a laugh. "It's nice not being the one being hunted, this time around."

He grabbed his duffle, which Persie noted was already packed. She was, too. That had been the man's first lesson. "I'll let you all get your things ready." She gave Dean a wink before turning back to her Uncle. "I'll walk you out."

They walked to his car in silence, and just as he put the duffle in the back of his truck, she pulled him in for a hug. "Thanks for being there, Uncle B."

He pulled away and held her at arm's length. "I don't know everything about what you saw when you were under, but I know enough. And I'm sorry-"

"You don't need to apologize," She insisted. "Neither of us knew what was happening. It could've happened to anyone."

His eyes narrowed. "Yeah, but it happened to you."

She pulled him in for another brief hug, before taking a step back and letting him get on his way. "I'll let you know when I'll be stopping by next. I think it'll be nice to spend some time together while we're not on a case."

He gave her a small grin before going to get into his truck, but something seemed to hit him as he paused in his tracks. He slowly turned to her, a brief look of fear running through his gaze. "What's going on, Persie?"

She swallowed. "I have to help Dean," she insisted. "Which means I may have to go track some leads down myself."

"I thought you said your cousin was helping you? That Nico kid or whatever."

"He's helping me, yeah," she admitted. "But there are some things I'll need to look into myself, just to be sure."

He blinked. "What do you mean? Will you be going with the boys and Annabeth?"

"I… mortals are not allowed there," she admitted. "And if I have to get information, it's best I don't bring Annabeth. It's hard to get what I need to know when she's there."

Bobby raised a brow. "You mean-"

"I will do what I must, which is difficult when I have to look at her in the eyes when I'm done."

He shook his head, blinked a few times, then turned to pull her into another strong hug. "If you ever need help, you call me. You hear?"

She nodded into his shoulder. "I hear you, Uncle B."

Pulling away, he gave her a tight smile. "You stay safe."

"You too."

This time he didn't hesitate when he got into his truck and drove off, leaving Persie in the dust clouds that formed behind him.

She knew that a storm was coming, and she was going to have to figure out how to protect the people she cared about.

Her hand slowly moved to run along the chain on her neck that held the pearl her father, Poseidon, had gifted her. A visit from her father before things started to go down the drain?

It was a bad omen if she'd ever seen one.

Persie took her time as she walked back into the room, only to find that Dean was there alone, sitting at the desk just as the other version had done before.

She blinked. "Dean?"

He stood up and turned to look over at her with a breathtaking smile. "Seph, I was wondering when you'd be back. Had a good talk with Bobby?"

"He wanted to make sure I was fine with him leaving me here with you all," she said, crossing her arms as he stalked toward her with darkening eyes. "Where are Sam and Annabeth?"

Dean shrugged. "They left to go fill up the tank and to get some food or something." He was only a foot from her now, and he reached up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "They wanted to give us time to talk."

She slowly nodded. "Right, that one talk we said we'd have."

His hand fell down to her shoulder, which he used to pull her into a strong embrace. "Sweetheart…"

She wrapped her arms tightly around his middle, nuzzling her head into his chest. "I know."

"I'm so sorry," he muttered into her hair. "I've… I really messed up. I should've called you, I should've been there for you. What you went through… it makes me want to throw up. You're so strong, Seph."

She pulled away to look up at him with tears lining her eyes. "I was so angry with you, for abandoning me when I needed you."

He closed his eyes and his shoulders drooped. "I know."

"But I also kept a lot from you and expected you to be able to process it immediately after I told you, which I'm sorry for," She admitted, blinking away a few tears. Dean was there to catch them as they fell from her eyes, and he wiped them away. "It was unfair, and I know you've been taught people like me are bad and monsters and-"

"You're not a monster," he insisted, looking deep into her eyes, willing her to understand and believe his words. "You are no monster, Persephone. You love so much, so deeply. And when you were… when you were in that pit, they took that from you. That's not your fault. But you, somehow, in the middle of it all, were able to find yourself again. Monsters can't do that. They don't want to. You regret what happened, and that tells me all I need to know."

He pulled her back into his arms. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

She took a deep breath. "And… about what happened when we were in your head-"

"That woman we saw… I- well, she was a fling that was maybe more than a fling from a long time ago, and-"

Persie pulled away and looked at him in amusement. "Not where I was going with it, but okay. You've been with others, felt for others, and have imagined yourself with other women in the past. Yeah, I know, and I expected that. You're not a monster, either, you know. You feel and love deeply, which is a part of why I'm so attracted to you."

He pursed his lips. "So you're not mad about that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Hot Shot. I know you're mine, now. And good luck to that woman if she ever tries to get you back."

"I'm yours, huh?"

She let out a laugh. "And I'm yours, too. We belong to each other. Which is why it was hard to see and hear the other stuff."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, the other me."

She placed a hand on his cheek. "You're not worthless or nothing, Dean. You are so important to me and to so many people. It hurts to know that you feel like that."

"I… I'm not sure why, but, well, actually I do know why. You saw and heard it, too," he rattled on. "Turns out you're not the only one with daddy issues."

"If I ever met your father… I don't know what I would do. I have a feeling you'd not want me to kill him, but I definitely would have a hard time not drowning him."

Dean chuckled. "I think I would appreciate your restraint."

"But I also saw what else you're scared of," she spoke, drawing them back from their amusement. "Is that what you're afraid of? Becoming a demon?"

He looked away from her, swallowing hard. "You… you heard what Ruby said. She was human once."

Persie narrowed her eyes. "I hate that bitch." She used the hand on his cheek to turn his head back so she could look into his eyes. "Look at me, Hot Shot," she said firmly. "I promise you that will not happen to you. I will do everything I can to make sure it won't. Do you understand me?"

His eyes softened as he could see the truth in her own. "I understand you."

"Do you trust me?" She asked.

He blinked, then gave a firm, swift nod of his head. "Of course, I do."

"Then trust me when I say you will never become a demon. I won't allow it."

Something in the way she was so sure of the power she held over his worst fears coming true rang home in his heart. Her eyes were so determined, so hell-bent on saving him, that his heart skipped a beat.

His Seph was beautiful, as she was powerful.

And it was then he knew he was probably falling in love with her.

He took the hand that wasn't currently on his cheek into his own, and gave one solid squeeze. "I'm with you, sweetheart."

She squeezed back. "And I'm with you, Hot Shot."

When Sam and Annabeth came back, the two were cuddling together on one of the beds, holding each other close and just enjoying their presence.

"Did you have a good talk?" Annabeth asked, giving them a pointed look. "Do I have to beat him up, Persie?"

She snorted. "No, please don't. He's a nice cushion."

Dean looked down at the woman in his arms. "Is that all I'm good for?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

He rolled his eyes, and shoved her off him before going to grab his stuff, laughing at the squawk she made in protest.

They quickly got themselves up and out of the room, bringing their things to the Impala and getting into the car. Sam slid into the driver's side, considering Dean obviously still needed sleep.

Persie took the spot behind Dean, and rubbed his shoulders as he started out the passenger window, obviously lost in thought. She stopped after they took off down the road onto their next location, and felt herself slowly drift off.

"Sam?"

Her eyes cracked open at the vulnerability in Dean's voice.

"Yeah?"

Dean didn't look at his brother, he couldn't open up that much. "I've been doing some thinking. And… well, the thing is… I don't wanna die."

Persie felt her heart tug painfully, and she saw the look on Sam's face, knowing how much of a breakthrough this was for his brother.

"I don't wanna go to Hell," Dean said, the finality in his voice echoing among the silence in the car.

Sam nodded, steeling himself as his grip on the wheel tightened. "Alright. Yeah."

She noticed Annabeth at her other side, giving her a small smile before turning to Dean. "Then we will find a way to save you."

The promise that echoed through the Daughter of Athena's words was obviously enough to placate Dean, who nodded and closed his eyes to sleep.