"My dear, you must learn to ride side saddle if you want to ever ride a horse alone! It is improper for the wife of a viscount to ride as a man does!" The Countess de Chagny said, wanting to help her future daughter-in-law. Christine seemed horrified at the thought of not being able to ride normally. She'd slid off of the strange saddle twice already and had nearly fallen off the other side once too. After two hours of an unsuccessful riding lesson, the Countess gave up and dismissed her. Christine sighed, defeated and decided to go and visit Aunt Annie and Meg. She walked, not wanting to be near a horse any time soon, however, she was discouraged since they were not home. She sighed and turned to walk back through town when she saw Lady Destler. Roxana.
"Christine!" She called, smiling and waving her over. Grateful for a friendly face, she quickly joined her.
"Hello...er...Roxana." She said as the girl nodded warmly.
"Would you like to get a cup of tea?" She asked and Christine nodded.
"Where is your husband?" She asked and Roxana sighed.
"He is actually at home, going over some of my finances...my brother-in-law seems to have been untruthful when it came to my money..." She said and led Christine into an upscale café. "Oh dear...you're wearing your hair up." She said looking at Christine when they sat down. Christine nodded.
"It is improper for a lady to wear her hair down." Christine recited and Roxana scoffed.
"The Countess is giving lessons?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as Christine nodded.
"I also have to learn how to ride a horse side saddle because real ladies shouldn't ride as men do!" She said and Roxana snorted.
"That is a crock." She said, leaning closer.
"I never did. I know how but find it pointless. And I only wear my hair up because I have no reason to wear it down." She said and Christine seemed to relax as the waiter brought them tea.
"I just fell like I am supposed to know all of these things and I don't want to disappoint Raoul, not after all he...well...I just want him to be happy with me." She said and Roxana smiled sympathetically.
"Sweetheart...Raoul is not a shallow man! He'd love you if you were from the swamps." She said, trying to make the girl feel better. Truly, she wished she could invite her back home but Erik would surely die.
"I know he doesn't care Roxana...but I do so wish to make him proud. I just feel like I will never be good enough to be part of the Chagny legacy." She sighed, looking up. "Roxana...why do you wear black?" She asked and Roxana sighed.
"I am actually just about to end my mourning period for my husband...although, it will be hard, since I imagine I will always long for him. I don't think I will ever love again." She said and Christine looked a bit uncomfortable.
"Isn't it possible to love more than one person?" She asked and Roxana took her hand, nodding. Goodness, she was so innocent. A child.
"Yes dearest...of course it is...but I just don't think I can. Justin was my life...my Jamie's father. And he's gone...killed at twenty-five."She said and Christine winced.
"I am so sorry..." She said, bowing her head and Roxana breathed, blinking back the tears that always came with the beauty of Justin's name coming from her mouth.
"It isn't your fault my dear...just mark my words...watch out for who you associate with...especially in this society. There are people who would stab you in the back if it made them look good." She warned the girl who nodded, eyes wide.
"Roxana...will you and your husband attend my wedding?" She asked and Roxana sighed.
"I don't think Erik would be up to it." She admitted, "But I would love to come...Rosaline, Alana and Elisabeth are my good friends...as is dear Raoul. Of course I will attend. You can't stay cooped up with the Chagnys all the time." She laughed and stood.
"I must get home." She said, pulling her cloak around her. "You stay strong Christine...don't change...Raoul fell in love with you just the way you are." She said and walked out with the girl before giving her a quick embrace and hurrying home. Christine sighed and headed back to the Chagny's.
"Heavens Christine! What in God's name is the matter with you?" The Countess cried as Christine walked through the doors. Raoul looked up from his seat worriedly and rushed to her.
"Don't ever leave unescorted again!" He said, his voice laced with fear. "I don't know what I'd do if something were to..."
"Raoul." Christine said, finding her own courage. "I will not be treated like a child. If I wish to go for a walk, I will. Escort or not." She said and he pulled back, his blue eyes dull with fatigue.
"The impropriety!" The Countess said as her husband looked at her scoldingly.
"Enough Monique...go busy yourself with someone else's business!" He ordered as the woman huffed off. The three girls pretended not to hear. The Count nodded at his son and motioned for his daughters to follow him. Raoul walked into the salon.
"Christine...after everything...how can you be so casual? It isn't safe for young girls to be wandering alone! What if someone were to come after you?" He asked and her eyes darkened.
"You're talking about him again aren't you Raoul? You don't trust me!" She said, upset now.
"Christine I..." He began but she held her hand up.
"No! I am so Goddamn sick of having this conversation I could scream! He is not coming back! He sent us away, remember? Why the hell would he come back? I mean what would be the point? He believes I don't love him, so what is left for him with me? Nothing!" She said, nearing hysterics and Raoul looked at her brokenly.
"He believes you don't love him...do you?" He asked and she spun on him.
"Do I what?" She asked and he sighed loudly.
"Do you love him Christine...don't skirt around the question." He said and she threw her arms up.
"Yes. No...I don't know! There were aspects of him I loved, yes...I loved his intelligence, his passion for music. But Raoul...there were aspects of him I hated too! I hated his drive to kill, his possessiveness. Do you know that I was afraid to even look at a boy for fear I would be reprimanded by him?" She said and Raoul sighed again.
"What about his face? Did your feelings for him change at all after you saw his face?" He asked, finally brave enough to ask her. She sunk down into the chair.
"I pitied him horribly if that's what you mean...I mean, how could someone go through life living with something like that? But if you're asking if it made me dislike him the answer is no. His face had absolutely nothing to do with how I felt about him. And I do miss him Raoul. God help me, but I do...but I would not leave you for him! You must trust me..." She said and began to cry, unable to stay strong. It killed him to see her cry. He knelt before her and kissed her hands over and over again, pulling her to him.
"My darling...I am so selfish. I know you cared for him...I do. It's just, I am so afraid that I will wake and you will be gone and I will still be dreaming of our days together by the sea. I have loved you for so many years my sweet...I need you!" He cried, laying his head in her lap and beginning to weep. She stroked his light hair softly and kissed his head.
"Oh Raoul...you are so good...I don't deserve you. You shouldn't have to deal with my emotional mess. I will be such a good proper wife to you." She said and he lifted his head, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Proper? Is that what you think will make me happy? God Christine! I love you! I don't want you to change..." He said and reached around her to remove the small clip, holding her hair back and letting it spill beautifully over her shoulders and into his face. He took in the lovely scent.
She sucked in a breath.
"I can't ride side saddle Raoul...I never will." She said and he looked into her chocolate eyes.
"My God Christine...I've been so busy I have completely been blind to the fact that you were miserable! No more lessons! No more of this ridiculousness. You will be my wife and if my mother cannot accept you the way you are, then she cannot accept me as her son either for I want you just as you always were. I want your hair down and I want to ride horses for fun, not for show!" He cried and she smiled, falling into his arms.
"Oh Raoul...I do love you so!" She sobbed into his chest as he held her, picking her up and sitting down, pulling her into his lap.
"And I love you precious..." He said, rocking with her gently and holding his lips to her temple as she curled up against his chest. Both of them smiling from the warmth of the fire. "I would give up everything for you Christine...I just want to be with you...you're my prize...my light at the end of the tunnel."
"Monsieur le Vicomte..." One of the maids said, clearing her throat in the door way. Raoul looked up to see a huge box with a bow on it. "This has just arrived for Mlle Daae." She said coming to hand the box to Christine and curtseying before leaving.
"Who could this be from?" She asked, untying the bow and gently opening the box. A slow grin spread across her face as she did.
"What is it love?" Raoul asked, helping her pull the lid off and setting it on the ground. Inside were a pair of black riding boots and pants, along with a lovely coat to go with it and a white shirt and a black helmet. On top of them was a note, which Christine gently picked up and read aloud.
"Damn them all Christine! Let's go riding for real sometime, shall we? -Roxana."
Christine laughed melodically.
"How thoughtful!" She cried. "I must do something for her and that dear husband of hers!" She said and Raoul looked at her confused. She touched his cheek.
"I saw her in town today and confessed about my riding disaster. She is so kind." Christine said and Raoul chuckled.
"That's Roxy...she and Justin were so good together. Perfect really...it's too bad. He was a good friend." Raoul said sadly and Christine nodded.
"She loved him so much...but Raoul, I don't like Andrew Westcliff. Not one bit...he frightens me." She said and Raoul nodded.
"I know...I really wish Father hadn't allowed him to court Rosaline...but all Mother and Father see is he is from a respectable family...not to mention, he has always been in love with Roxana...even when she was with Justin." He said and Christine gasped.
"He was?" She asked and he nodded.
"That's why obsessions frighten me so. Look Christine...I would never say this to Roxana, but I think he had something to do with Justin's death." Raoul and Christine squeaked.
"How awful!" She exclaimed, laying her head on Raoul's shoulder. He smiled at the feel of her in his arms. Soon, he would be able to hold her like this always...as his wife. He sat up suddenly, picking her up in his arms as he did. She giggled.
"Let's go for dinner tonight Christine! Just the two of us...we haven't spent time together in so long..." He said and she nodded.
"Let's...that does sound lovely." She sighed, still laying her head on his strong shoulder.
"Come my sweet...I shall carry you to your chariot!" He said and she laughed.
"You're my knight in shining armor!"
Roxana smiled to herself as she entered her home at the end of the day.
"Erik? Ana? Carolina?" She called and Ana came into the foyer holding her hand to her lips.
"Shh...the master and young James have fallen asleep in their lesson..." She said motioning to the parlor where before the fireplace, Erik was lying on the couch, his legs hanging over the side and Jamie was wrapped in his arm also sleeping. It was the funniest thing Roxana had ever seen and she swallowed a laugh. She picked up a knitted blanket she'd made when she was pregnant and draped it over them. Obviously, Erik was well over six feet tall so it hardly covered him. He didn't have his suit coat on, just a vest and tie, which was untied. The white sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up and his mask was on his face. He looked remarkably innocent sleeping like that with her son in his arms. The man of stone was now just a man...She reached out and touched his cheek ever so softly and he seemed to smile a bit in his sleep. For the first time in nearly three years, Roxana felt her heart skip a beat.
"You are an Angel, aren't you?" She whispered and left the room, seeing about getting some dinner on the table.