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Chapter 35

I walked into the doctors, my hands shaking. I was extremely fearful, but not for myself. I didn't care if I had HCM, but if I passed it on to my daughter I would never forgive myself. Sure, I wanted him to say you don't have HCM because it would mean she definitely doesn't have it.

I waited for what seemed like forever before a nurse called my name. She took me into a room and shut the door. I looked around the room at all the pictures, waiting for the doctor to come inside. He came in shortly afterwards and took my blood.

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I couldn't take my mind off of earlier. I just couldn't believe it would have to wait until tonight for the results. It was slowly killing me.

"Haley, sweetie, just relax. Everything will be fine, I promise!"

I smiled at Deb. "I'm trying to think positively, but I can't help but think about what will happen if I have it. I mean, Emily could have it and then-"

She shushed me. "Don't think about that now! I'm telling you to think that everything will be fine, and it will, okay? I don't need you to be any more stressed than you already are with taking care of Emily!"

I shrugged. "I'm a mother now, Deb. All I ever do is worry," I replied and then looked at my sleeping daughter. "I'll never forgive myself if she has it. I'll never forgive my parents."

Deb sighed. "You don't know how sorry they are, Haley. They love you and Lucas more than anything and would redo everything if they could!" she tried to defend but it fell on my unforgiving ears.

I shook my head. "They've done more than just keep that from us, Deb. There is more to the story and you know about it. Why won't they just tell us?" I asked.

She shrugged. "They will tell you if and when they are ready, Haley. Don't ask me because it's not my place to tell," she replied and walked off.

I sighed. It was clear she wouldn't be any help cracking my parent's secrets. What could it possibly be?

There was a knock at the front door. I looked at Emily and made sure she was content before going to answer it. Karen Roe stood on the other side.

I crossed my arms. "What do you want?" I asked as nicely as I could muster.

She sighed. "I want my daughter to not hate me anymore," she replied and pulled a box out from behind her. It was dusty and had things written on it. "Look in the box, read the letter and call me afterwards," she said and walked off.

I waited until she drove off before going inside. I sat on the couch. I knew Deb was watching me from her spot in the kitchen but I said nothing. I could now read what was on the box. It said 'Timothy Jacob Roe' on top. I raised an eyebrow. Was this an uncle?

I opened the box to see a photo album. I took it out and found even more pictures under the album and the letter she talked about. I looked through the album first. By the first picture I knew he wasn't an uncle, but a brother. My mother lay in a hospital bed holding a baby. The caption said, 'Karen and baby Timothy.' I kept looking through it and saw pictures of me and Lucas, around 2 years old, holding the baby with our parents help. The last picture was of all of us, the caption 'Our Happy Family' written underneath.

I set it aside. "I had a baby brother? Why wouldn't I remember him? What happened to him?" I asked out loud.

I grabbed the letter and began to read it.

Dear Karen and Keith,

We are terribly sorry to hear of your loss. You must know that it isn't your fault. You couldn't have saved him. Don't blame yourselves. Dan and I will be here for you whenever you need us. We'll watch little Lucas and Haley if need be. You know how much they love to be with Nathan.

Please call us. You haven't left the house in 2 weeks. You won't answer your door or your phone so this letter was necessary. Timothy is going to be watching over you from his place in heaven. His heart disease was too far developed for you to save. We're always here for you, all four of you.

With love,

Deb Scott

I had tears falling from my eyes as I read the last lines. My brother died before he could even speak. He had a more advanced form of HCM as a baby and died of it. "Deb?" I asked in a meek voice. "Deb, please bring me the phone."

She was down the stairs and sitting beside me with the phone within moments. I took it and began to dial, but stopped. "What are you doing, Haley? You have to talk to your mother!"

I shook my head as she started to dial for me. "I need to see her. Will you watch Emily?" I asked and stood.

She nodded and handed me her keys. "Take your time, sweetie," she replied.

I started to walk away, but turned back. "Why don't I remember?" I asked.

She shrugged. "You were only a baby when it happened, Haley, There is no way you could've remembered.

I nodded and left, speeding to my parent's house. I didn't even bother to knock. When I got inside I saw her sitting on the couch, crying. She looked up at me, hope in her eyes. I ran to her side and took her in my eyes. "I'm so sorry," she kept repeating to me.

I shook my head and pulled back. "I'm not happy that you just decided to not tell Lucas and I, because you should have. I understand why you didn't, though. It was hard enough to lose one child of it. You didn't want to believe it could happen to your others."

She nodded. "When we lost Timothy we didn't let you or Lucas out of our sights. You were only allowed to play with each other inside until we finally decided to leave Tree Hill. We needed to start over. You and Lucas finally forgot about having a little brother and we started to become a normal family again," she explained.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "That's why you never told us about Deb, Dan and Nathan. You wanted to forget about your life in Tree Hill," I said and she nodded. "Well, now I'm really confused. Why did we come back here if it was so painful?"

She sighed. "We planned on explaining everything once we got here. You and Lucas deserved to know about your brother and the possibility of having HCM, but we just couldn't do it. We wanted to talk to our old friends again, now that our hearts had healed."

I nodded. "I'm so sorry I've been so angry with you, mom. I just can't believe you kept all those things from us."

She held my hands tightly in her own. "You have to know we only did it to protect you, both of you. If we would've lost you and Lucas… I don't know what I would've done."

Lucas walked into the room. I looked at him and knew right away that she had told him as well. He walked over and hugged me close. "How did it go at the doctors, Hales? What did he say?" he asked.

I pulled back and shrugged. "I don't find out until tonight," I replied. "I'm not that worried about it, Lucas."

He nodded. "Call me as soon as you get word, okay?" he asked and I nodded.

"Same goes for me, little one, okay?"

I turned to my mother and smiled. "Okay, mom," I replied and hugged her as well. I stood. "Well, I better get back. Emily's probably awake by now and is most likely starving! I'll call you both tonight though, right?"

Lucas stood and hugged me again. "Yes, you better!" he replied. "Hey, do you mind if I come over with you? I've gotta go spoil my niece!"

I laughed and shrugged. "Sure, why not! Mom, why don't you come with us? You'll finally get to meet your granddaughter properly," I suggested.

She shook her head no and wiped tears from her eyes. "I promised your father that we would meet her together," she replied.

I nodded. "Well, how about you and dad stop by after he gets off work. Emily should be awake and ready to see people, sound good?"

She nodded vigorously. "That sounds perfect, Haley," she replied and walked us out.

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