AN: I do not own Teen Titans

Chapter 9

Raven found that meditation was difficult when she couldn't recite her mantra. That's what helped her focus; listening to her self recite those words. Now that she couldn't, reaching her center had become a challenge. She heard someone knock on her door and any centering she had achieved was erased. She sighed, touched down, and went to her door. She opened it and saw Beast Boy.

She raised an eyebrow as if to say, "What?"

"Hey Raven," he said with a smile. "Whatcha doing?"

She just stared at him.

"Meditating, gotcha," he said. "Well, look, uh, I kinda have something I wanna talk about. Can I come in?"

Raven looked at him for a second then moved aside, giving him access into her room. He smiled and walked in. As soon as he was within her room she closed her door and waited to see what he would do.

He suddenly felt very nervous, knowing that simply suggesting what he suspected Raven of having, a crush on him, could send her into an angry fit. But, he had to find out if this was why she had been so short with him.

"So, um, change your mind on the fake voice thing?" he asked in a nervous chuckle.

She shook her head no.

"Didn't think so," he said, scratching the back of his head.

They stood there for a few minutes in silence. Raven stared at him and waited for him to say something. Beast Boy wasn't sure what he was waiting for. This was just so odd he wasn't sure how to go about it.

Finally Raven crossed her arms and huffed, clearly telling him, "Get on with it or get out!"

"Okay, I guess I should probably start talking, right?" he said. She just stared at him. "Right, well, uh, you see, I was kinda looking through the pictures from our Tokyo trip and I noticed something kinda weird. You see, in each of the pictures of me with my adoring fan girls, you were in the background and you kinda… sorta… looked… jealous."

Ravens eyes went wide and one of her shelves of her library broke, spilling books all over the floor. Beast Boy jumped and looked at the mess. He then looked to Raven, who had turned from him and put her hood up.

"Uh, so, am I right or really really wrong?" he asked, nervously. He knew something must have been up for her emotions to let her powers leak like that.

Raven did not turn. She walked away from him and sat down on her bed, her head down. Beast Boy cautiously walked over to her and began fiddling with his fingers, since he couldn't think of anything better to do.

After what seemed like forever, Beast Boy finally spoke, since he was the only one of the two with the capability. "Are you… alright?"

Raven continued to stare at the floor.

"Please, can't you tell me anything?" he asked.

She shook her head.

His fang dug into his upper lip and his heart raced. He had to ask the essential question. He knew he would get some sort of a reaction. He just felt very awkward about asking it.

"Raven… do you have a… crush on me?" he asked.

Raven seemed to stiffen for a moment. He could see her biting her bottom lip. All he could see where her lips. He sighed and took a seat next to her on her bed. She turned away from him, obviously hoping that this would turn him off from speaking to her anymore. But he had no intention of dropping the conversation.

"You know, just the fact that you didn't send me flying out of the window tells me something," he said, looking at her, even if she refused to look at him. "Come on, Raven, can't you at least look at me?"

Raven shook her head and crossed her arms.

"Does this mean you do?" he asked. "I mean, have a crush on me?"

Raven kept completely still.

"Raven, if you don't do something in five seconds I'm gonna consider this a yes," said Beast Boy. "One… two…"

Raven suddenly stood up and went over to her window. She stared out of it, her arms still firmly crossed. And even though she had moved, he had a funny feeling that that said even more that she liked him more than a friend. He sighed and went over to her.

They stood there, silently, looking out of her window. She had a magnificent view of the city. And though her eyes were glued to the outside world, Beast Boy's were glued to her. She was a master of keeping a completely placid face. But he had learned to read her without relying on her outer expressions.

"You know, it's… okay if you do," he said hesitantly. "I mean, I'm not gonna gloat or make you feel embarrassed or anything. I… I just wanna know if this is the reason you were acting the way you were acting in Tokyo."

He saw the slightest of movements of her face. She was thinking, thinking of what she should do. He could see her mind racing, playing out ever scenario in her head. And then, after what seemed the longest four seconds of Beast Boy's life, she sighed and her arms dropped to her side. Then she ever so slightly nodded.

"So… does that mean you do?" he asked. "You… like me?"

Raven nodded again, but it was so soft it could barely be seen. But he had seen it.

"Oh," he said, blushing slightly and wondering if he was going to pass out due to his heart racing so fast. "Well, uh, I'm glad we got that out of the way."

Raven sighed and walked away from him. She sat back down on the edge of her bed and focused on the floor. He could see that she looked embarrassed and awkward. Truth be told, he felt the same way. And, again, he followed her and sat down next to her once more.

"Raven, can I ask you something?" he asked.

Raven shrugged.

"Well… why me?" he asked. "I mean, why do you have a crush on… me?"

Raven thought for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to communicate with him. She slowly took his hand in one of her own, which made him jump slightly. She then held their conjoined hands up so that he could see them. She indicated to her hand and then to his; green and pale almost white. He wasn't sure where this was going, but he studied what she was doing. She then let go of his hand and placed her fingers to his eyelids and closed them for him. Once his eyes were closed she took his hand again and placed it over her heart, just as she placed her own hand over his. Then she let go of his hand and took her own hand away from his chest.

Beast Boy opened his eyes and thought about all she had shown him and made him feel. He understood body language far better than anyone else. It was how most, if not all, animals communicated. Therefore, it was engrained in his mind. He just had to connect the action with the right meaning. And, after some thought, he came up with what he hoped she had told him.

"Okay," he said, getting ready to explain to Raven what he believed she explained to him. "We're both really different. I mean, we look totally different to the naked eye. But, beneath what we look like, we're both the same, right? I mean, we both have a heart and we feel similar things inside of us. Am I close?"

Raven gave him a small smile and nodded. She couldn't believe how good he was at this. He really was smarter than everyone gave him credit for. But her smile faded and she looked away from him again. She felt ashamed for having these feeling for him, and for displaying her affection in an almost abusive way.

"Raven… you don't have to feel bad about this," he said in a comforting voice. "I mean, I kinda see where you're coming from. We both are really different, but at the same time kinda not. I mean, you're quiet, sarcastic, and like dark stuff and I'm loud, annoying, and like bright, shiny stuff."

She turned back to him, catching his attention, and mouthed, "You're not annoying."

"Oh, please, I know that I am," he chuckled. "Doesn't mean I feel bad about it.

Raven pursed her lips to keep herself from smiling, but he could clearly see it through her efforts.

"Anyway, even though we're different like that, we're both kinda the same," he continued. "We've both got dark things inside of us, we've both been hurt by people we thought cared about us, we both feel misunderstood sometimes…"

Raven cut him off by giving him a confused look. Then she mouthed, "Misunderstood?"

"Well, yeah," he said, realizing he had just said something about himself that no one really knew about him. "Sometimes I feel like no one understands me, but that's kinda my own fault. I act all happy and goofy all of the time so you guys don't see how depressed I can get."

Raven was very interested in what he was saying and listened intently. Beast Boy never really spoke seriously, and now she was learning why. She could see him zoning out, which meant he was talking from the purest part of him self. This was where Raven could learn the most about him.

"You see, I didn't exactly have a good childhood," he continued. "And I feel like it was my own fault that my past was so crappy. I mean, if I had just saved my parents then they wouldn't have died and I coulda maybe had a normal life. But because I was such a coward they died and it was all my fault. Just knowing that gets me down sometimes. So I crack jokes and fool around so… so you guys don't see how I really feel."

Beast Boy felt a little bit of weight lift off of his shoulders as he spoke to Raven. He had never told anyone about this, about how he really felt. And now that he was actually revealing himself, he felt a little better. He could feel Raven observing him and he was comfortable with this. Her eyes did not judge nor did they stare. She listened closely and took in every word he said, calculating it in her mind.

Beast Boy felt her shift a little and then, ever so gently, she laid her head against his shoulder. He couldn't believe she had done this, but he understood what she was saying. She was saying that it was alright and that she understood him. He softly leaned his head and rested it against hers.

"I really like talking to you Rae… Raven," he said, correcting himself. "It's cool that we can share stuff from our past with each other."

And just like that, the moment was over. Raven sat up and slightly scooted away from him. He wasn't exactly happy that she was moving, but things were odd enough already. And he decided that he had spent enough time in her room.

"Well, I guess I better go," he sighed and stood up. "And, uh, don't worry about the whole crush thing. I'm not gonna tell anyone about it. It'll be our little secret." He gave her a wink and a small smile.

Raven felt her cheeks heat up and prayed that her hood covered her blush. She bit her bottom lip and looked away from him.

Beast Boy didn't know why, but he found her rather cute in that moment. Very rarely did Raven act like any other girl would act. And in that moment, he didn't see his far too mature teammate who didn't take any crap. He saw a slightly flustered teenage girl.

He felt himself smile wider as he left her room. He had learned many things while he was in there. He learned that Raven had a crush on him, he learned that he could comfortably talk to her about anything, and he learned that they could communicate with each other far better now that Raven didn't have a voice.