Chapter 23: Payback Is A Witch

Note: This chapter has extensive taunting of Ron. You've been warned.

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Here's to those that reviewed.

To jazhpfreak: Aren't we all glad that Lavender is back, but yes, she's going to be stuck with his baby.

To Writers Apprentice: Moody wasn't talking about Draco he was talking about Lavender's baby. Sorry if I confused you.

To duj: Thanks for your review. The reason why Harry couldn't get Ginny is because he wasn't of age yet. And no, Ginny didn't have a crush on Severus, but if you continue to read you're going to see that's changing.

To kakashisninjadogs: Oh trust me, Voldemort is going to go on a rampage. And it's not going to be pretty.

To everyone else: Thanks

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Severus mauled over everything that had happened when he had saved Lavender's life. He had hated the idea that he had been so sharp with Ginny, but he hadn't been in a mood to talk to her. He didn't think that he could bare the picture of Lavender finding out that her husband had done something to keep her from getting rid of the child. He knew that soon she would be waking up and then the horror would start all over again for her. He also feared that the Gryffindors would turn on her the moment they found out who her husband was and that she was having his child.

He took one last long drink of his tea and then left, heading back to the castle.

When he arrived he heard the sound of his brother-in-law yelling at his wife. He seem to do that a lot lately and he could almost feel her pain. He hated it that Ron thought he was better then Ginny. He decided to pretend that he hadn't heard as he headed down to his office. It was time to give some payback.

He found his old potions book and started to flip through the pages. He had invented several nasty spells that he use when he had been a student. It was time to give Ron a little taste of the past. He grinned and then left.

"Unicorn Heart!" he told the painting of the Headless Horsemen.

It opened to let him in.

He looked around to make sure that Ron's wife wasn't around and then he gathered up Ron's things, and shrunk them. He then hurried out, snickering as he did. When then went to the Owlery and wrote a little note to Ron, making sure that he didn't use his usual hand. He then gave it to the owl that flew off. He then duplicated the same note, but for all the Hogwarts students. He then gave it to all the owls and they joined the one that had disappeared.

He hurried out of the castle and unshrinking his things he threw all his clothes in a tree, making sure the tree was bare, and changing his underwear into little pink boxers with silver unicorns that said 'I belong to Ron Weasley.' He then hurried off to see what Ron would do.

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The owl delivered the note to Ron, who was sitting at the Gryffindor table. He tore it open and read:

Hello Ron,

I think that you really need to visit the only tree that's bare of leaves. I've got a lovely surprise for you.

Sincerely,

The Man With No Face.

Soon all the other owls appeared, delivering the same note. Everyone hurried out to see what the note was even talking about. Everyone found the tree the note talked about and Ron went from pink to red when he saw that it was his clothes that were in the tree.

"Weasley wears pink boxers!" Draco Malfoy taunted. "Oooh how girly!"

"I don't wear pink boxers!" Ron hissed.

Harry was laughing his head off and so was everyone else.

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Severus was in a meeting with the rest of the staff to talk about how Ron's clothes had gotten out of his quarters. The entire staff thought it was a laugh that someone had pranked Ron.

"I wonder who did it," said Professor Flitwick, grinning.

"Ya, it reminds me of what James had done to Malfoy," McGonagall said.

Dumbledore looked at Severus, but Severus turned away. He was plotting his next round of revenge.

Severus headed back to his office and pulled out a canary cream that he had taken from a Hufflepuff second year and went down to the kitchens. He pulled Dobby to the side and told him what Ron was doing to his wife. Dobby didn't like Ginny being made fun of and told Severus that he would be more then happy to make the tricked sweet pop up during lunch. He then used Hedwig to deliver Ron a trick message, one that would insure that he got taunted.

He then headed off to lunch. He knew this was going to be one interesting lunch.

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"I can't believe that it took me forever to get my clothes down," Ron said, as he entered the Great Hall with Harry. "I missed the entire morning of classes."

"Hay, what about me," Harry said. "You made me miss Defense Against the Dark Arts."

They both sat down and that's when Hedwig appeared, dropping a howler in-front of Ron.

"You better open it, Ron," Hermione said.

"Shove off, Lupin," Ron snapped.

But he opened it and it burst out.

"WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTREST IN SEXY WITCH. THIS MAGAZINE HAS TIPS ON HOW TO PREFORM FOR THE LADY. YOUR ISSUE WILL BE ARRIVING SOON."

The entire hall burst out laughing, Severus snorted into his pumpkin juice, going red. He was glad that he was the only Professor there. And then the little package popped up next to his plate. He saw Ron grabbing it, ripping it open, and then eat it. He had jinxed it to have the opposite effect that it normally would have. Ron's clothes disappeared, making everyone laugh even harder.

"Mr. Weasley, put some clothes on," said the angry voice of Professor McGonagall.

Ron ran out.

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Severus finished his lunch and headed for his classroom. Everything was working out the way he wanted. Soon Ron would get the message that he had made someone mad. Suddenly he stopped. He had another idea that would be sweet payback.

He hurried back to the Weasley quarters and saying the password, he entered. He knew that Ron would be in lessons so he walked into the bathroom and waving his wand he jinxed Ron's shampoo. He then hurried and left. Oh tonight would be funny.

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"I'm telling you that Harry is turning into a slave driver," Ron told one of the Gryffindor beaters. "I'm soiled and my hair is dirty."

"Well you won't be saying that if we beat Slytherin," he said.

"I know, but this day hasn't been my day," Ron said. "First my clothes were put up the tree, then I get that howler, and then my clothes get removed. I think George is around here somewhere."

"Well I see you at dinner."

And he was gone.

Ron entered his quarters and went right for the shower. He took the jinxed shampoo and washed his hair. As he stepped out, he looked at himself in the mirror and let out a horrible scream. He no longer had red hair he had flashy hair.

"GEORGE!" Ron screamed.

Severus, who was waiting outside, snickered. He watched in the shadows as Ron left and then decided to prank him again. He changed into his Animagis form. A huge spider.

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Severus emerged from the shadows, larger then ever. He clicked his pincers in a menancing fashion. Suddenly Ron turned around. He let out another horrible scream and bolted down the corridor. Severus following behind him.

" HELP ME! SPIDER!" he bellowed.

Severus cornered Ron and he fainted.

Severus chuckled as he did a little charm to make Ron's mattress lighter then air. He then floated Ron with it, and managing to keep those in the Great Hall from seeing him, he took Ron and the mattress outside. He then placed Ron on it and let the mattress float across the lake.

"Nighty night," he snickered, as he left Ron there.

Note: I hope you found this chapter funny, because I did. Next chapter: Ron wakes up, Ginny finds out who did all this stuff to Ron, and Voldemort finds out that Lavender is gone.