Ratings and Disclaimers are the same as Chapter 1
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Elizabeth rushed down to the Gateroom to find the Marines had trained their guns on three chickens with berets on their heads who were strutting about the floor.
"John" she sighed into her earpiece "your true love has sent you three French Hens", Elizabeth flinched at his reply and ripped out her earpiece with a blush, she had no idea he could swear in so many languages. Sheppard joined her in the Gateroom, also Rodney and Alex the chef had turned up too at Sheppard's request,
"I am so going to kill whoever is doing this," growled Sheppard as one of the Marines handed his the accompanying note. He opened it "it's all in French, I know 'Joyeux Noël' means Happy Christmas but what's the rest of it" he handed it to Rodney,
"What? Just because I'm Canadian you automatically think I can speak French..." he blustered
"I know you can so just shut up and translate," snapped John. Rodney read over the note and his jaw crashed open
"Wow, whoever she is she has a...vivid imagination, she wants to...wow...is that even physically possible without ending up in traction...wow...she certainly is graphic in her descriptions...I...I can't translate anymore of this, lets just say she wants to get...intimate with you" said Rodney, a flush slowly creeping up his face. John scowled at the Marines sniggering behind him and at the Partridge and the Turtledoves who were hopping about in the pear tree and glaring menacingly and the newcomers.
Chuck and Dr Vicki Collins had taken it upon themselves to become the birds protectors as both of them were 'Twitchers' in their spare time, Ronon was still swearing vengeance on the Partridge for the attacks on him, Alex on the other hand was waiting for day six when the geese arrived. As Christmas was coming, she was planning the Christmas Day menu, they had enough turkey but six geese would make the food go a little further so Alex had been looking up recipes and wondering what kind of stuffing was appropriate. Now John Sheppard had called her to the Gateroom to deal with the French Hens, she smothered a giggle as she saw the berets on the hen's heads, Sheppard's True Love had a warped sense of humour and also there, were Chuck and Vicki Collins.
"I'm sorry Colonel, but three chickens is not going to feed many in Atlantis it's not enough to make a decent soup with" said Alex apologetically, Chuck and Vicki breathed a sigh of relief as the chickens got a reprieve.
"Why not send them to the mainland, there's a cock among them so they'll breed and we can share the eggs with the Athosian's," said Chuck. All eyes turned to the Canadian techie
"At last a sensible suggestion" said Elizabeth "go to Teyla and ask her opinion", Chuck ran off just as the Partridge and the Doves launched an aerial assault on the French Hens, the ensuing battle between birds and humans lasted half an hour with casualties on both sides, Vicki had to patch up the Partridge, the Doves and the hens. The Partridge had taken pleasure in dive-bombing Ronon, who had come running to the Gateroom when the call had gone out; he was now minus two of his dreads, which the Partridge had hung from the pear tree as a trophy. The doves had fluttered close to Rodney and slapped him around with their wings, the feathers had got up his nose and caused a sneezing fit so long and so ferocious that he had passed out through lack of air. The doves, pleased by this turn of events, had repeated the trick on others causing Carson to declare the Gateroom off limits until it had a chance to be disinfected.
In the Infirmary, Carson was dealing with the aftermath of the attack, Ronon; still sulking over the loss of his dreads was sitting on the bed glowering at the nurse who was unsuccessfully trying to hide her laughter while she stitched at particularly nasty 'Beak Wound'. Rodney had recovered from his sneezing bout and had been hustled out to the showers after the others would not come near him until he got rid of the 'Messages' the birds had left. Elizabeth, who had been given tranquilizers by Carson, was sitting in her office with a spaced out grin plastered on her face, happy in her knowledge that the French Hens were on their way to the mainland with Teyla and order had been restored to the city, for now. In the Mess hall John was pleading with Radek to hurry up with the investigation in how it was happening, he wanted to be in the Chair when the next batch of gifts arrived so he could shoot them down.
At 6am John was woken by the sound of Lorne's voice on the radio
"Mail call Sir" said the laughing voice of his 2iC
"I hate you," muttered John as he rolled out of bed.
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AN: So what do we think? More of Ronon and the Partridge or does it become lunch?
Twitcher is slang for a birdwatcher.