"I want to get married in the snow...I've always loved the winter..." Alana said later that same day as she sat on the back porch of her brother's home with her sisters, friends. The men were all inside. Garrett was on his way...he had to wait for his brother to return.
"Which is why we've chose to get married just after Christmas. On the day after." Rosaline sighed.
"I'm the oldest...and I am not even courting..." She moaned mournfully. Izzy rolled her eyes.
"Maybe if you shut your mouth once in a while..." She inserted dryly and suddenly, chaos ensued as all three girls began to bicker as Christine and Roxana looked at each other.
"Please! You two! I am getting married and you are just sitting there like jealous little goats!" Alana cried. "I never ask for any attention! None! And the one time I do, you all have to twist it so it's all about you!" She said and Rosie pouted as Izzy scowled and Alana took off through the house.
"And they are leaving tomorrow?" Raoul asked Trevor Pierpont who had just told them that Andrew had announced he was taking Meg to London. Erik shook his head.
"I swear to God...if he hurts her I'll..." He was cut off by the middle Chagny girl running into his arms and throwing her arms about his neck. Oh dear God, why me? He thought, spitting out a mouthful of blonde hair.
"Oh Monsieur Erik! They are terrible, awful creatures!" She sobbed into his shoulder as he held his hands away from her in horror.
"Who?" He asked uncomfortably.
"My sisters!" She said and became hysterical.
"This is why I don't have sisters, or daughters." Erik said, picking the girl up and swinging her over to sit beside her older brothers. She pouted prettily.
"Oh why is Garrett so late? I need him to be here Raoul!" She said and began to cry on his shoulder. Raoul looked at Trevor who held his arms up.
"Now, don't look at me!" He laughed as their was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Both Erik and Raoul cried at the same time, but Raoul was faster and Alana ended up back beside Erik. He strained to listen as the young girl sobbed.
"Jacqueline...what are you doing here?" He heard Raoul ask. It was the hussy.
"Raoul dear...aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked sweetly and he sighed.
"No...I have company Jacqueline...and a wife."
"Not if I can help it..." She said, pushing him aside and coming into the sitting room. Erik scowled at her.
"I just came to return Monsieur Destler's hat to him...I was out for a ride when I saw it on the ground...it has your name in it sir..." She said, smiling prettily. She was a beautiful girl, but Erik knew better than anyone that beauty could be deceiving and she was about as deceitful as they came.
"Thank you." He said civilly, not recalling even bringing his fedora, though there was a chance it had been in their carriage and had fallen out when Jamie had been kicking around.
"Oh Alana...are we having a bad day? What's the matter? Did Garrett finally grow a conscience and leave you for good?" She asked as Alana glared at her, balling her little hands into fists. When she began to get up, Erik could see the child was dead set on beating the daylights out of the Marquet girl and he didn't doubt she would.
"Easy girl." He said, holding her elbows as he breathed in relief when her fiancé and his brother walked in.
"Why would I leave her? So I can deal with women like you?" Garrett asked icily from behind her. He held his arms out to his love as she ran to him. "What is it?" He asked her and she nodded for him to join her in the kitchen so she could tell him in private. Brett Reynolds looked at her as if she were the most vile thing he'd ever laid eyes on.
"Well..if it isn't the village bicycle..." He bit out at her. Raoul nearly choked. He had never heard Brett speak in anything but a teasing light tone.
"Excuse me?" She asked and his eyes shot bullets.
"You know...everyone's had a ride." He said, completely serious, as she looked at him furiously, then back at Raoul who couldn't suppress a smirk.
"You're going to regret that." She said and he shook his head, holding her roughly by the arms.
"No dear. You are going to regret some things when I am through with you. Been under any desks lately Jackie?" He asked as her mouth dropped.
"That's what I thought. Get the hell out of my sight." He said as she slammed the door behind her. He strode into the room and sunk into a chair.
"What happened to you?" Raoul asked him, handing him a drink. Brett shook his head. Not wanting to discuss, he sighed. Raoul knew that sigh. He'd sighed that sigh nearly a year before.
"Damn it all to hell Brett. You are in love!" Raoul exclaimed as he looked up.
"Chagny...are you out of your...are you insane?" He asked and Raoul shook his head.
"Who is it?" He asked as Brett's mouth dropped.
"No one! There is no girl! She never will be..." He stopped himself. "There is no girl." He said quietly. There was another knock on the door. Erik stood quickly.
"That will be Annie." He said, moving to the door. Brett looked up.
"Annie?" He asked and Raoul nodded.
"Madame Antoinette Giry...young Meg's mother." He said and Brett lost all color in his cheeks.
"Oh." He said and Raoul stood back a moment...looking back at Trevor.
"It's Meg, isn't it?" He asked Brett, who shook his head, irritated.
"I am not in love with her! I just had lunch with her! Jesus Christ!" He said as Erik walked in with Antoinette beside him.
"Madame Giry...how are you?" Raoul asked, moving to kiss her cheek.
"I'll live. Meg dressed me and I feel a bit awkward..." Brett turned to look at her and couldn't help but smile. It did look like something the dancer would pull together in her romantic little mind. Erik grinned.
"You look sixteen again." He said and she sighed.
"That's what I was afraid of, bless her." She said, smiling."Is your uncle due soon?" She asked Raoul, who nodded.
"Mother and Father said they should be along around six and it is nearly six now." She brushed her hair back.
"Well damned. I shall have to go kiss Christine!" She said, patting Erik's arm.
Alana and Garrett emerged looking much happier as they walked hand in hand back to the porch. Raoul shook his head.
"My sisters like you Erik." He said. Erik nodded.
"I can see that...but why?" He asked and Raoul sighed.
"My father hasn't been around so much, what with business being the way it's been. He's been overloaded and even I have a hard time getting home to Christine at night. You remind them of him...they feel comfortable with you." Erik suppressed a smile.
"Well there go all of my hard years of attempting to avoid people out the door..." He said and Raoul knew then he understood. Trevor and Brett walked over to them.
"Well, maybe we should see if those girls are tearing each other's eyes out yet." Trevor said, slapping Brett on the back. He didn't smile.
"Is it kicking Angel?" Rachelle asked her sister who was touching her belly. Angel nodded.
"It's so funny! I can't stop touching it!" She laughed. Elisabeth was seated beside her, also with her hand on the girl's middle.
"Angel, I think you have more than one in there!" She exclaimed and Rachelle giggled.
"Oh Izzy, the baby has hands too!" She said and Izzy shrugged, smiling when she saw the four men come outside. Trevor leaned down to kiss his wife as Izzy moved back near her oldest sister for him to sit down.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as she fanned herself.
"Quite hot really...but good." It was an extremely warm summer day.
Roxana sat beside Christine with Jamie nestled asleep in between the two girls. His thick black hair hung over his eyes as he lay with his head in Roxana's lap. She kissed his curls and adjusted him so she was holding him on his back.
"Someone is having a birthday in two weeks..." She said softly to Christine, who looked down at the boy. She grinned.
"He'll be three?" She asked and Roxana nodded.
"He's growing so fast. Before I know it, he'll be getting married." She sighed, looking up as she felt Erik's eyes on her. She smiled sadly. Jamie could be the only child I ever have...and he's already three. Still, she knew that a child should only be brought into the world as a product of the love its parents shared.
She looked at Raoul, who was smiling dreamily at Christine then at Trevor and Angel and she was suddenly so envious. She missed those looks. The soft words of love. Real love. She thought back to the last time she and Justin had ever slept together. His words still rang through her head.
"Roxana...all that matters and has ever mattered to me is that you are safe and happy...that's all I ever want for you and for James."
The next day he'd been shot. She nearly winced as the pain of it all came back but was brought out of her memory by James moving. She looked up and noticed Brett Reynolds was standing glumly at the door. He smiled at her, but the pain in his eyes was evident. He motioned for her to follow him. She handed Jamie to Erik and took Brett's arm as he led her off the porch and into the rose garden.
"Roxana...Andrew...he's out of control." Brett said in a hushed tone and Roxana nodded.
"I know Brett...even though he's married now, I can't help but wonder if he's still after me. I fear for Erik all the time..." She said and Brett nodded.
"You are fond of him aren't you?" He asked.
"I suppose...he has saved me from Andrew and other things..." She said and Brett sighed.
"Do you love him?" He asked and she shook her head.
"I can't answer that question Brett. Not so close to the third anniversary of Justin's death. I am fond of him, yes...but love. It's too much. It hurts too much." She replied. His face seemed to break.
"It does hurt. It feels like the air in your lungs has been slowly pushed out and everytime you see them all you want to do is admit the truth to yourself, but it just hurts too much to know the truth and by knowing, realize that you'll never be happy because of the truth. It just hurts too much." He said as her mouth dropped.
"Who?" She asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head.
"I can't..." He said, looking at the ground. "She's married...I can't." He said and Roxana leaned against the side of Raoul's house.
"It's Meg." She said, remembering that their conversation had begun with Andrew. He nodded.
"Don't say anything...I don't want her to know." He said and Roxana nodded.
"He's going to destroy her Brett." She said and he shrugged.
"What can I do about it? Nothing." He said bitterly. He looked up again, and to her surprise, tears lined his blue eyes. She touched his cheek.
"Oh Brett...you're breaking my heart!" She said and they both held each other as they cried.
"Where did they go?" Rosaline asked Rachelle when she noticed Roxana was gone. Erik looked around. They had disappeared. He set James down on Christine's lap and scanned the gardens for them. A lump formed in his throat when he turned the corner and saw Roxana holding the Reynolds boy. The familiar pang stabbed in his chest as he turned and walked back to the others, staring at the ground. Christine of course, could see he was not happy and asked him with her eyes what was wrong. He shook his head as Roxana and Brett reappeared. She patted his back as he sank into a chair. Erik caught Roxana studying him, but could only glare at her with the betrayal he felt.
"Erik, you haven't said two words to me since we left Raoul and Christine's..." Roxana said after she'd put James to bed. He kept his focus on the drawing he was working on.
"Mmpf." Was his response. She felt anger flush her face.
"You know what Erik Destler? Screw you and your Goddamned temper!" She said and flew from the room into her own room as she began to discard her clothes furiously. Almost instantly, he was at her heels as she had her dress halfway down her body. She whirled about to face him, her dark eyes blazing at him.
"You have a lot of nerve Lady Roxana!" He said, pinning her against the wall. "You claim you aren't ready for this and that and I find you clutching Brett Reynolds on the side of Christine's home!" She slapped him.
"Jealousy doesn't become you Erik! If you aren't the quickest damned man to jump to conclusions!" She spat at him. He growled.
"It's me isn't it? It's always me! It's me you're not ready for and never will be!" He said and she grabbed his face, bringing it down only an inch away from hers.
"If you even knew me a little, then you would know that is and never has been true Erik. Brett is my friend. He was in need of comfort and damn it, he deserves comfort as much as anyone! You of all people should know what it is like to love someone and not have it returned!" She stopped and moved out from under his arms as her dress fell to the floor leaving her in only a corset, garters and stockings. She looked at him brokenly. "You never cease to amaze me Erik, how you have become a normal man again, and yet you still loathe yourself enough to doubt everyone who cares for you!"
"And you are blind Roxana!" He cried, grabbing her wrist.
"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked as he held her chin with his thumb and index finger.
"You can't see! The thought of you with another man almost ruined me...because damned if I am not in love with you!" He stopped, challenging her to respond, which she did not. He kissed her neck just under her earlobe. "I love you so much that everytime I see you, my heart breaks just a little more. I don't want to Roxana...but I do! I do...and I can't help it." He said, pressing his lips to her collarbone. She began to speak but he held his hand to her mouth.
"Don't. Don't say anything...I only wanted you to know...and we shall never speak of it again." He pleaded as he kissed her lips and carried her to her bed.
As she watched him sleep later, once their passions were sated, she was fighting her conflicting emotions in her mind. He had admitted to loving her and she hadn't panicked, but Justin's face had flashed through her mind. She knew she was clinging to a ridiculous dream and she could almost hear him scold her.
"Roxana...my love. You have always been so stubborn...I would never fault you for wanting to be happy. Be happy...I want you to...I told you I did."
She propped herself on her elbow and studied Erik who was lying with his face to her, the covers only draped over his waist. The marred side of his face, facing up. She reached out to brush her fingertips over his scarred cheek and kissed it, resting her smooth cheek on his uneven one.
"I would die for you Erik..." She whispered and she could have sworn she saw him smile in his sleep.