Ratings and Disclaimers: Same as Ch1

Author's Notes: Yet more liberties taken with LOTR

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The gate splashed open and the 'Fellowship' trudged through it muttering threats. Rodney had coerced and/or threatened Chuck, Radek, Lorne, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon and Miko to join him in destroying the ring. Teyla had found a world that had a volcano that very loosely translated as the Mount of Doom and Rodney had declared it at the place to get rid of the ring, then he'd gone about forming his 'Fellowship', the first person he'd asked was Chuck. Chuck had told Rodney he wasn't going, he'd had enough of being called Legolas the first time round but he'd ended up agreeing just to get Rodney off his back, Radek and Miko done the same thing, it was either that or have Rodney calling on them every two minutes. Sheppard had ordered Lorne on the mission as payback for laughing at his misfortune at the hands of his psycho true love, Teyla and Ronon had been the only ones to volunteer when asked. The Partridge had made such a fuss when Chuck left that it had had to be sedated by adding some Athosian herbs to its food. It had grabbed the back of Chuck's collar and tried to pull him away from the gate and when Vicki had pulled it off it had had hysterics, now it was sitting on Elizabeth's desk wearing the same spaced out expression as Atlantis' leader.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this, how many years in Leavenworth will I get if I go AWOL now?" muttered Lorne

"My sister's husband dragged me to see all three films, I have hated him ever since" said Radek with a snarl, Miko and Chuck muttered in agreement and trudged on regardless. Rodney was telling Ronon and Teyla the story of the One Ring when Sheppard stopped

"Why don't we just throw it into the river down there and let some other schmuck deal with it," he said, Rodney rounded on him

"They wouldn't know what to do, it has to be destroyed by us, have you any idea what would happen if the Wraith got their hands on it? No, well imagine every nightmare you've ever had coming true and that'll give you some idea of what to expect, now I know none of you believe me but that ring has to be dropped in that volcano so stop complaining flyboy and get moving" yelled Rodney. Everyone stared at Rodney then stared at each other, shrugged and carried on up the side of the Volcano.

After a multitude of complaints from Lorne, Zelenka and Chuck, the Fellowship was resting, John was turning the ring over in his hand.

"Rodney what would happen if I put it on" Rodney wasn't listening he was telling Teyla the difference between a Hobbit and an Elf, "Rodney" said John again but to no avail. Not waiting for an answer John put the ring and instantly vanished into shadows, Lorne yelped as he watched Sheppard disappear. John peered into the distance; he could see ghostly figures moving about in what looked like mist,

"Hello" he called as a figure came towards him

"My love you should not be here, not yet" it said

"Are you the one sending me the birds?" he asked

"Yes, do you like them, all my love goes into those gifts" it sighed. John lunged towards the figure as it and the mist melted and he reappeared on the side of the Volcano to see Rodney with the ring in his hand

"What the hell did you do that for, I came face to face with the bitch that's sending me whacko I just had my hands around her throat" yelled John.

"You're not supposed to wear it, it'll send you to another plane of existence" said Rodney in a 'I'm-dealing-with-children voice' "come on only another mile or so to go",

"If I threw him into the volcano d'ya think I could make it look like an accident" said Lorne with a venomous look at Rodney.

The gate in Atlantis opened and the Fellowship trudged through, they were covered in ash and mud, all of them were vowing to 'get' Rodney when he least expected it. They had reached the top of the volcano and John had dropped the ring in, the volcano seemed to hiccup and showered them with ash, they then beat a hasty retreat just in case the volcano spat the ring back at them. On the balcony stood Elizabeth, Vicki, holding a still spaced out Partridge, Daniel Jackson, Sam Carter, Cameron Mitchell, Teal'c and Vala

"Hey the gang's all here" remarked John.

"John, SG-1 is here because they've finally found out what and where Merlin's weapon is" said Elizabeth as she handed over a piece of paper, on it was a picture of the ring they'd just destroyed, John's face fell and he handed the paper to Rodney

"You wanna explain or should I" John remarked.

"Ah...well you see it's like this...um...we...ah...we've thrown it into a volcano" Rodney recoiled as Daniel, Sam and Cameron advanced menacingly towards him. "Well we...ok...I thought it was the One Ring, the Ruling Ring, the Ring of Power and I've obviously got the wrong end of the stick, excuse me" he said as he took off running closely followed by SG-1.

"Aren't you going to help him?" said Elizabeth, John shook his head

"No, I'm going to bed for the next twenty four hours" he said

"What about tomorrow?" asked Elizabeth

"I promised Alex she could deal with the Geese" he said as he swallowed the last two of Elizabeth's tranquilizers.

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AN: Not as funny as the others I know but lunacy will return when Alex gets her hands on Six Geese-a-Laying