Ratings and Disclaimers: Same as Ch1

Author's Notes: I am warning you all now the geese come to a sticky end, with peas and gravy, don't like, don't read.

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John Sheppard was sleeping peacefully; he didn't care about the gift coming today as he'd told Alex the Chef she could deal with it.

Alex Ramsey, the head chef of Atlantis, bounced out of bed, which was not something that happened often. Even the Wraith knocking at the door couldn't get her out of bed any earlier than was necessary but today was the day Sheppard's six geese a laying were due and he'd given her permission to make her Christmas budget go a little further by putting them on the menu. Alex was a little squeamish about the actual killing of the geese so had bribed Ronan with whatever he wanted for lunch for a week if he'd actually do the deed, now Alex was waiting for the call from the Gateroom.

The first thing she heard was a lot of bad language, she blushed, and she thought she knew a lot of foul language but Lorne surpassed even her vocabulary

"Having trouble Major?" she asked as Lorne and his team ran passed her,

"They're fucking vicious," he snarled

"Oh come on, I know geese are supposed to be nasty but six soldiers with guns being frightened off by lunch with feathers, please" she said with a smirk. Lorne made an 'After you' gesture and Alex made her way into the Gateroom where she found Elizabeth, Rodney, Teyla and Chuck in Elizabeth's office with the door locked and six geese strutting around. The Partridge, turtledoves and Parrots were hiding in the pear tree, gingerly peering out every now and then.

Earlier the parrots, being kings of the tree at the moment, had swooped down to show the newcomers who ruled the Gateroom, there had been a scrap and the parrots had come off worse, the Partridge and the turtledove had tried to come to the rescue but the geese, spurred on by bloodlust, had savaged them too. After the geese had seen off the Partridge, Doves and Parrots they turned their attention to Lorne and his men, they had been beaten and pecked before they had retreated. The geese turned at the sound of someone entering, what they considered to be, their domain and advanced.

Lorne and his team heard a lot of honking, swearing, screaming and occasionally, weapon's fire, the door opened and Alex fell out onto her ass, Lorne smirked

"So the big bad chef has been frightened off by lunch with feathers," said Lorne, Alex glared at him.

"Major, at this particular moment in time I'm wondering who is going to get the orange up the ass first, you or the geese" she got up from the floor "your odds have just shortened", she said

"Like to see you try babe," he replied as Alex shot him a look that had the Marines recoiling in fear. Lorne loved to live dangerously, that's why he loved to wind up the head chef.

After a trip to the infirmary to get her ankle patched up after one of the geese had pecked her Alex made her way to Ronon's quarters.

"I need your help," she said

"I know, you want me to kill the geese" he replied

"That as well but I've got to catch the buggers first" she said as she went on to explain what had happened in the Gateroom, Ronon had laughed at the exploits of Alex, Lorne and the Marines and said he'd show the Earthlings how to deal with birds.

Ronon beat a hasty retreat with blood running down his legs from beak wounds to both his knees, he'd radioed Alex to meet him at the weapon's locker, this was now a matter of pride.

"Don't say a word" said Ronon to Alex, she pressed her lips together and shook her head, she knew laughing at this point would be dangerous for her health. Ronon wandered around the locker looking for something to use against the geese, his eyes lighted on something and he grinned, the answer was that simple. He picked it up and went back to the Gateroom, tossed the object in, shut the door and called for Carson.

Later that evening, Ronon was sitting down to his favourite Earth dish, something from Alex's homeland called a Shepherds Pie. Alex, Mick, Charlie and Chris were sitting on the balcony plucking six geese and discussing who the highest bidder would be for the feathers for a pillow while Christine and Tony were preparing a pleasant orange-based stuffing. John Sheppard rolled over, sighed and went back to sleep.