CHAPTER TWO:
SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL

Vay could not believe her eye. Halfway up the driveway, the man stopped. He wore a federal agent's uniform, complete with the gauche epaulets that clashed with his Plorginarian skin tone, and a very cautious look on his face. He glanced nervously at Gidgel before locking eyes with Vay. There was a long moment of very uncomfortable silence, then the man cleared his throat, more out of nerves than anything, and spoke.

"Vay?"

Vay just stared at him, unblinking. After another long moment of silence, she replied. "Kirk?"

The man nodded, almost imperceptibly, and before Vay could even get to her feet, Gidgel jumped up, sprinted across the yard, and slugged the man in the mouth. The man flew backwards from the blow and hit the ground. Gidgel grabbed a wrench out of his toolbox and advanced on him.

"Gidge, NO!" Vay screamed. In a flash, she was at his side trying to pry the wrench from his hand. "No, Gidge, don't! I'll handle this."

Gidgel backed down, allowing her to take the wrench from him. Vay flung the tool aside, then threw herself on Kirk. She pulled him up off the ground, and in one incredibly smooth and fluid move, punched him in the face, whirled around and kicked him with all three of her feet, and then grabbed him by the arm and body-slammed him.

When she was done, she walked back over to Gidgel, who looked at her with a mixture of awe and fear.

"You handled that well," he said meekly. "Too well. I think you killed him."

"I used some restraint," she said coolly, brushing her long brown hair out of her face. "He'll be fine, the bastard."

Brother and sister watched passively as the man called Kirk climbed dizzily to his feet. His hand flew up to his face, where a trickle of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and a patch of flesh beneath his eye was beginning to darken and swell. He staggered, then swung around to face his attackers.

"Yeah, I knew it was you," he said, forcing a smile. He touched his swollen lip, then looked at the blood on his fingers. "This just confirms it."

He took a couple of awkward steps forward and Gidgel met him halfway. Vay stepped forward, too, in order to restrain him, but there was no need. Gidgel restrained himself as he growled, "What the hell are you doing back?"

Kirk saw his clenched fists and winced. "I - wanted to talk to Vay."

Gidgel drew a fist back as if to strike him again, but Vay barred its path and told him not to bother. Gidgel backed away, grumbling, "Don't think 'cuz I'm a cripple now I can't still kick your sorry patooki from here to Turo and back."

Kirk looked at Vay and smiled weakly. "Hello, Vay. It's good to see you again."

"I beg to differ," Vay replied, before punching him in the stomach. Kirk bent over double and gasped for breath, then righted himself quickly, fully expecting another attack, but Vay just stood serenely.

"I deserved that," he wheezed, forcing another smile.

"Ooh, clever!" Gidgel retorted. "You figure that out all by yourself? Wow. And this, coming from a guy who refused to believe that egg plus sperm equals baby!"

Vay shot her brother a smoldering glare before looking Kirk in the eye.

"What are you doing here, Kirk?" she asked, out of mere curiosity.

"I - I just wanted to see you again," he said helplessly.

"What kind of excuse is that?" she demanded. "What? You think you can just screw around with me and my feelings and leave, and then waltz back into my life like nothing happened?"

"People make mistakes, Vay. Everyone makes mistakes. We both made a big mistake, and now it's -"

"That mistake, as you call it, is our son. My son. Only mine. You're not his father. You didn't stick around long enough to become a father to him. No. All you did was contribute the genetic material needed to conceive him."

At this, Kirk sighed despairingly. Unable to look Vay in the eye another second, he cast his own eye to the ground. After a few attempts, he found his voice again.

"I know nothing I say can change what's been done, or the way you feel about me. I can't set things right, but I can try, damn it. I can try."

Vay looked at him in surprise. Was it her imagination, or had his voice cracked on those last words? Was he really as upset as she was?

"Well, you can try all you want, but I'm not about to forgive you. I am, however, going to be the better person and allow you to plead your case. You can come inside if you want, and we can talk." Kirk and Gidgel both looked at her in surprise, and she smirked, trying to hide a chuckle. "I know, I really should be bashing your frigging brains out all over the driveway, but I'm in a generous mood. Hmm, maybe that's because I'm about to become a grandmother, and you know that good grandmothers don't go bashing people's brains out, no matter how much they deserve it."

It took a moment for her words to sink in. Kirk's eye grew wide and he gaped.

"G-grandmother? You mean our son is -"

"MY son is married now and his wife is expecting a baby. Yes. That's right."

Kirk just stared at her, shocked. Vay sighed exasperatedly and rolled her eye.

"C'mon inside. We've got a lot to talk about."