Chapter 36: WAR
A/N: Here's to those that replied.
To moonyluvur: Ron has his own sick plan as to why he joined Voldemort.
To Princess Star Neko: You're the first one to reply about Molly's behavior. Ginny is an adult by Wizarding standards and we all know that you're all glad that I'm having Severus wanting to be around this baby.
To CosmicGibby: Thanks for your wonderful review and the pranking will start now.
To everyone else: Thanks for your reviews, love them.
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Hermione awoke early the next morning and hurried off to the castle. She snickered thinking about the surprise that Severus was going to get that morning. She went down to the kitchens and cornered a house elf.
"I want you to make sure that Professor Snape gets this," Hermione said, placing the covered pot that she had gotten from a Wizarding joke shop in his hand. "And make sure that only Professor Snape gets it."
"Of course," the house elf said.
Hermione rushed from the kitchens.
Hermione arrived just as the main group of Professors entered. Remus gave her a strange look, but passed her by. Hermione snickered as she thought what Severus would do when the covered pot arrived.
"Hermione," Harry said, setting next to her. "Have you seen Ron?"
Hermione shook her head, just as the owl post arrived.
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Severus watched the post arrive, snickering to himself. He was going to pull a prank that would make a muggle proud. Along with the usual owls that arrived with the mail a dozen of creatures that he had conjured arrived. They spotted Hermione and dove at her, dropping a dozen of the foulest smelling eggs that Severus could think of. They landed hard, right on her head.
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Hermione screamed as the eggs landed, covering her with something that came out of a troll's nose. She glared at him, just as the breakfast appeared.
"Severus, I'm going to kill you," she yelled.
He grinned at her in response.
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Severus felt like laughing his head off when Hermione screamed at him. However, he saw the pot and when he opened it; he let out a yell that would make Ron proud. In a vat of grease was a real human hand.
"HERMIONE!" he bellowed. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."
Hermione just grinned and left the Great Hall.
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"I don't know what was worse, the smell or the hand?" Professor McGonagall said. "Those two are nuts."
Dumbledore snickered.
"I wouldn't call them nuts, just a little crazy," he said. "However, the human hand was brilliant."
McGonagall grinned.
"What do you expect from Hermione?"
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As for Hermione she was busy destroying Severus classroom with toilet paper and placing a large vat of eggs right over his desk. She charmed them so that they were invisible to everyone, but her. She then hurried up and left.
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"HERMIONE JANE LUPIN!" Severus bellowed when he saw the mess that his classroom was. "THIS IS SO COMPLETELY MUGGLE."
Remus laughed.
"You got to admit that she does have class," he said.
Severus glared at him.
"Oh come on, Severus, it's not like you know all about this."
"For your information, Lupin, my house got egged and papered when I was little," he told him. "Oh your wife is going to have to do better then that."
And no sooner had he said that but the entire mountain of eggs fell right on Severus head. Remus roared with laughter, pounding his hand against the desk.
"Oh, now that's funny," Remus said.
Severus grumbled.
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"When are you going to stop doing this?" Harry asked Hermione, as she put a fake dead woman, which had been enchanted to look even more horrible then before, in Severus's quarters and a real snake in his spare robes."
"When he says that my pranks are better then his," Hermione told him. "Of course, I live for this."
Harry had a bad feeling about this.
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Severus walked into his quarters to change into his spare robes. When he reached for them, he put them on and then left. However, that's when the snake struck. He slithered out of the top of his robes and hissed at him.
"GET IT OUT," Severus screamed. "GET IT OUT."
Hermione was laughing her head off not to far away. He finally yanked them off showing off his pink boxers. Hermione snapped a picture of it and then ran off. She had a date with Colin Creevy.
That afternoon Severus walked into the Great Hall among roars of laughter. Even his Slytherin's were laughing at him. He glared at them, but they continued to laugh at him. When he sat down, he noticed that the staff was snickering at him.
"WHAT IS SO BLOODY FUNNY?" he screamed.
Dumbledore pulled out the photo of him in his pink boxers that Colin had developed and duplicated.
"Sounds like Hermione had a lot of fun with you," Dumbledore told him.
Severus made a vow to kill her.
After dinner he returned to his quarters and no sooner had he opened the door to his closet that the dead woman had came at him. He bolted. That night, he slept in Remus's spare office.
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"Severus, are you in there?" Ginny asked.
She saw Severus opening the door slowly.
"Are you alone?" he asked.
"Ya," Ginny said.
He opened the door and motioned her inside.
"What is wrong with you?" Ginny asked.
"Oh nothing except that your friend is turning this into a living nightmare," he told her.
Ginny giggled.
"It's not funny," he said.
She smiled.
"Of course not," Ginny said. "However, I think you look cute in pink boxers."
He looked at her and she winked. He felt much better.
Note: Oh well Ginny can make anyone feel better. Next chapter: Marcus arrives to tell Dumbledore about Ron, Ginny sends her mother a small present, and Hermione punishes Slytherin house.