CHAPTER ELEVEN:
SHAMELESS

Pleakley was pouring syrup over his wife's pancakes when Gidgel limped, wide-eyed and rigid, through the back door.

"Found your mother," he mumbled, taking a seat at the table beside Leera. He stared blankly at his plate, drowning his thoughts in the amber sea of syrup that covered his breakfast.

"Where was she?" Pleakley asked. Gidgel didn't reply. He didn't even look up. "Uncle Gidgel?" This time he responded.

"Huh?"

"I said, where was she?"

"Oh. Uh… outside." Vague though his answer was, Pleakley accepted it and sat down on Leera's other side. "Did you tell her breakfast was ready?"

Gidgel shook his head, eye never once flitting from his plate. Leera noticed and said, "Your pancakes are getting cold, Uncle Gidgel. Are you going to eat them or just sit there admiring them?" His eye turned toward her and she smiled. "I think you'll enjoy them better if you eat them."

"You're probably right," he sighed, reaching for the condiments at the center of the table. His hand found the pepper shaker and he absently began to sprinkle it over his breakfast. Pleakley stared but didn't say anything. Leera opened her mouth to say something but stuffed a large bite of pancake into it instead. Pleakley's silence continued until his uncle raised a peppered pancake-laden fork to his lips and swallowed that first bite without so much as a wince.

"Oooookaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm just gonna go get Mom myself then. Her breakfast is already cold and I'm — "

"NO!" Gidgel shouted, finally snapping out of his trance. He dropped his fork and jumped up from his seat. "No. You don't want to do that."

Pleakley cocked his brow suspiciously. "Why not?"

Gidgel fumbled for an answer. "Because… because she said she'd be up soon and… and that she wasn't hungry." Not hungry for pancakes, anyway.

"Alright, but I need to talk to her anyway. Where is she?"

Gidgel cast about for an answer and settled for the truth. Or at least a portion of it. "Out in Kirk's ship."

"What's she doing out there?"

At this, Gidgel felt something drop into the pit of his stomach, and it wasn't the pancakes. "Uh… talking. Just talking."

"Well, I want to talk to her now. I'm going to get her. Be right back." And Pleakley was out the door before Gidgel could protest.

He met his mom halfway between the ship and the house. Her hair was wild, and she was still in her nightgown, but Pleakley thought nothing of it. Vay took note of this and sighed inwardly with relief. It was bad enough that Gidgel had found out. Kirk followed Vay at a safe distance, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Mom, you missed breakfast," Pleakley told her. "I made pancakes. There's only one left now, and it's cold, but I can make you some more if you want."

"Thanks, sweetie, but I'll just have some toast or cold cereal this morning. I'm really not that hungry." Vay cast a sideways glance at her brother as she passed him. Gidgel looked away, and she thought she saw him blush. She knew she ought to have been blushing too, at the least out of courtesy. After all, it wasn't the first time he had walked in on her. The first time had been much more awkward, even horrifying, for Vay and Gidgel both. They had both been 19 when it happened; both still living together in the little house they had inherited from their parents. Gidgel had come home early from work one evening to find Vay and Kirk in the throes of passion. And he spent the next several weeks kicking himself for it.

After all, he should have had his first clue when he'd seen Kirk's ship parked out front. He should have had some suspicions when he'd found the trail of discarded clothes that led to his sister's room. And he definitely should have gotten the picture when he'd heard the sound of panting and moaning behind her bedroom door before he'd pushed it open.

After that day, nothing about Vay surprised him anymore. Not her mechanical skills, not her fighting prowess, not her ferocity, not even her choice in entering into the universe's oldest profession for the sake of her baby. But having walked in on her a second time, though in a considerably tamer situation, he'd found more than enough reason to be shocked, if not downright ashamed, for her and for himself.

Back inside the house, Vay excused herself to the guest room to change and Pleakley started cleaning up in the kitchen. Nani was already at work and Lilo at school. Stitch was out somewhere playing with some cousins and Jumba was sleeping in. Leera had already finished breakfast and gone to take a bath. This left Kirk and Gidgel alone on the back porch.

Kirk stood nervously looking at his feet, pretending he didn't feel the heat of Gidgel's glare burning like the summer sun on the back of his neck.

"So what's the holdup?" Gidgel said, so suddenly that he startled Kirk.

Kirk looked at him questioningly. "Huh?"

"Just wondering what you're waiting for this time," Gidgel said casually, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe. "Ya got whatcha wanted, didn't you? So now you'll be taking off again for another thirty years, right?"

Kirk just frowned, clearly not catching the drift Gidgel was so clearly sending him. "What're you getting at?" he demanded.

Gidgel snorted and rolled his eye. "Don't play dumb with me. I saw you. And don't even bother telling me it's not what it looked like."

"Fine. I won't. It's none of your business anyway," Kirk grumbled, turning to go back to his ship.

"That's good. Leave right now and don't come back till Wendy's baby is having a baby. That's a good idea. Best one you've had since… ever." Kirk stopped in his tracks, but did not turn around. He couldn't tell whether Gidgel was being sarcastic or sincere. Knowing him, he'd wager on a little of both. After a moment's hesitation, he continued walking back to his ship. He was at the ramp when he heard Gidgel call out again. "I wouldn't shift that thing into hyper drive if I were you!"

This time Kirk turned and looked at him. "Why not?"

Gidgel smirked a little as he hobbled down the steps. "Judging from the sound of your kyrizhtecline converter on the way over here, I had a feeling it'd need a little adjustment, otherwise you won't even be able to escape this planet's atmosphere."

Kirk smirked back at him. "Don't tell me: you're the only qualified mechanic on this entire planet who can fix it, but you're not going to because…?"

"Oh, no! I already fixed it! You can leave any time you want."

Kirk frowned at him suspiciously. "Well - thanks. I guess." He looked back at his ship, then back at Gidgel. "So what'd that cost me?"

"Absolutely nothing."

This only made Kirk all the more suspicious. He shook his head and looked back at his ship again. "I know there's a catch here somewhere. There has to be. You mechanics are all alike. If I didn't know you personally I still wouldn't trust you."

Gidgel just shrugged. "Hey, it was a very simple adjustment. Only took ten minutes of my time. Big deal."

"Thanks," Kirk said flatly, "but I'm not very comfortable about receiving charity."

"You were obviously comfortable enough with Vay's charity," Gidgel said in a tone too light for its implications. "Seeing as how you took full advantage of it."

Kirk growled and walked up the ramp into his ship.

"Aloha!" Gidgel shouted from outside. "Have a safe trip, and remember what I said about the hyper drive!"

At this, Kirk tipped his head out and glared down at Gidgel. "What about it? I thought you said you fixed it."

"No, I said I fixed the kyrizhtecline converter. That has nothing to do with the hyper drive. Anyone who's ever done their own lube job would know that."

Kirk growled again, but didn't bother telling him he'd always had his ship serviced professionally. And he certainly wasn't about to tell him that he didn't know a xeron bearing from a dipstick.

"Okay. But what about the hyper drive? What's wrong with that?"

Gidgel shrugged. "I just wouldn't use it if I were you."

"Well then how the hell am I supposed to make it out of that wormhole in the beta-zenj quadrant? I won't even be able to make it to Saturn before my reserve fuel cells burn out."

"I just figured you valued your life enough to want to avoid being fried at the speed of light and then disintegrated into a zillion pieces."

"And why should that happen?" Kirk demanded, walking back down the ramp. Gidgel's innocent smile was enough to make him understand. "Alright, what did you do to my ship? What in Blitznak did you do?"

"I told you: I fixed your kyrizhtecline converter. That's it."

But now Kirk was furious. "If you sabotaged my ship I can have you arrested for attempted murder! I've got plenty of friends in high places who'll gladly take my side on this."

Gidgel was unmoved by this threat. "I'm sure."

"To hell with you," Kirk growled, turning to go back up the ramp. "I'm calling my own mechanic. A competent, professional, trustworthy mechanic." Less than a minute later Kirk came bolting back down the ramp, just barely restraining himself from tackling Gidgel.

"What the hell did you do to my communications console! The entire system is screwed up!" Gidgel's serene smile pushed him over the edge. "That's it. I'm getting my plasma cannon. And because you're a cripple, I'm giving you a ten second head start. One, two — ten!"

In a blur and a bright flash of green, Kirk yanked his cannon from his belt so quickly that it slipped from his hands, tumbled through the air, hit the ground a few feet away and discharged, firing a projectile at the side of his ship. When the smoke had cleared from the gaping hole, Gidgel took a look through it and tsk-tsked the way mechanics do; the kind of tsk-tsk that tells you a simple tune-up has just turned into a complete overhaul.

"Well, it looks like you don't have to worry about the hyper drive anymore," he said.

"What in Blitznak is going on out here!"

Both men wheeled around at the sound of Vay's voice. Kirk wasted no time pointing the finger at her brother.

"It's all his fault! He sabotaged my ship, and then he made me discharge my cannon and…" he trailed off, gesturing at the unsightly crater.

Vay frowned at Gidgel. "Sabotaged?"

Gidgel chuckled helplessly. "I didn't do a damn thing to it."

"Oh yes you did!" Kirk growled, picking up his cannon and placing it back in its holster. "You said you fixed the kyrizhtecline converter, and then you said something about my hyper drive — "

"What!" Vay interrupted. "This ship doesn't have a kyrizhtecline converter! Only Glaznin Rovers have those. Gidgel knows that. He was obviously just playing mind games with you. Trying to syke you out. You know how he is." She punched her brother's arm playfully, but he still winced a little.

"Yeah, well, his little mind game just cost me my hyper drive. Look at it! I can't go anywhere now. I'm stuck here till I get a new one."

"That won't take too long. We're going to be here for a few weeks, anyway. Until after the baby's born. Why would you want to leave so soon?"

Kirk looked at the ground. "I don't," he muttered, "but the feeling that I'm not welcome here is getting a little too strong. Besides, I've already messed things up with you and Wendy. It's probably best I leave before I make things worse."

Vay reached a hand out to him, but thought better of it. "You didn't mess anything up. Wendy has his own reasons to be mad at you, most of them unreasonable, but that doesn't mean he won't come to like you in time. And what happened last night…" she trailed off, glancing sideways at Gidgel before pressing on. "Well, that was a mistake on my part too. I'm just as much to blame for it as you are. And it wasn't exactly a mistake, depending on how you look at it."

Kirk looked up at her suddenly.

Vay smiled impishly. "Don't read into that too much. I ain't promising a round two."

Gidgel saw the secretive look that passed between them and groaned in disgust. "I swear, if either of you had any self-respect… I mean, what if Wendy found out? I'd say, there goes Kirk's last chance of getting on his good side."

"He doesn't have to know about it. It was just a one-time thing, and it won't happen again." Vay noticed the sheer look of disappointment on Kirk's face when she said this and grinned. "Unless you make sure the door's closed next time."

Gidgel groaned again. "Did I tell you Wendy almost found out? For real?" Vay and Kirk both looked at him in mild surprise. "That's right. Twice, in fact. He was going to go out looking for you this morning, but I told him I'd do it so he could stay in and finish cooking breakfast. And last night. He went looking for you when the movie started, but I guess he didn't bother to check the ship. I dunno. But really, if he does find out — "

"He is not going to find out," Vay interrupted.

"Who's not going to find out what?" a voice asked, and the three Plorginarians looked up to see Pleakley approaching.

Kirk's face flushed and panicked words tumbled from his mouth, strung together like a string of pearls. "Nothing! Nobody's nothing! Nothingtofindout! Nothing'shappenedandnobodyhadsexlastnightIswearit!"

Vay and Gidgel gasped and Pleakley just stared at him blankly. "Excuse me?"

Kirk opened his mouth again but Vay slapped a hand over it before another sound came out. She looked at her son, hand still over Kirk's big mouth.

"It's nothing really, Wendy. Kirk says a lot of stupid things without thinking. Don't you, Kirk?" The tone of her voice and the look she gave him just then made Kirk swallow hard. He nodded and she dropped her hand from his mouth. He took a deep breath as though she had been suffocating him and nodded again, this time forcing himself to meet his son's eye.

"Yes, we were just talking last night. Nothing else." Kirk flinched from the threatening glare Vay shot at him just then.

Pleakley looked at his mother questioningly. "You were out here all night? But I thought…" he trailed off, then the light of understanding dawned on his face and his eye went wide with horror. "Oh. My. God."

Kirk paled. Even Vay paled a little. Pleakley looked back and forth at the two of them, and they both saw the degrees of horror on his face increasing.

"You didn't! Oh Bluzark, please tell me you didn't — excuse me," Pleakley said, turning away. "I think I'm gonna be sick." And he ran back into the house, slamming the door behind him.