Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!

Most of you will probably think I'm such a nerd for doing this, but I definitely visited the real Volterra last weekend, and sat at a cafe to write this chapter. What can I say, it totally inspired me, though I will say I don't like this chapter much but it was necessary to get to the next one :)

PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(

Ch 6

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months in a blur. So much yet so little happened as Bella settled into her new life that she hardly noticed the passage of time. The only real mark that meant anything to her at all was the newly visible ring of amber along the inner edge of her iris. Poof that she'd taken to the Cullens' "veggie" diet with shocking ease, much to everyone's surprise.

Ideally, she wondered what Edward would think of her success once he learned of it. The others loved to offer their opinions on how Edward would react to even the smallest of things she did. It had taken a bit of getting used to, but eventually she'd come to wonder about it herself. Though, and she'd never admit to anyone, what she most wondered was which of her new family had guessed his reaction correctly the most times.

Her money was on Alice – for obvious reasons. Even if Alice was the least likely to say anything about Edward at all. If Bella wasn't so thrilled with her new existence, or if she cared just a bit more, perhaps she would have asked about that. As it was, she honestly didn't mind her sister not prying into her future more.

There was something to be said for letting it play out as it would without interference.

"You telegraphed your jab again," Jazz informed her, extending his hand to help her back up and out of the Bella-shaped impression her body had made in the yard when he'd flipped her over his shoulder.

Part of her wanted to blame his take down on her distracted mind, but the truth was he was simply superior when it came to fighting. One day she'd reach his level though. Bella was nothing if not determined. And it was just one more thing she wished to master now that she had infinite time to do so.

The list she was mentally compiling seemed to be growing by the day. Guess eternity wouldn't get boring. Not for a few millennia, at least.

Her hand found his automatically, not that she needed it. She'd more than proven herself capable in the months since they'd begun training, but she knew Jazz was merely being a gentleman.

Bella froze, wondering where the slightly defensive thought had come from. It wasn't the first time she'd chafed at the idea she needed to be looked after. A dim memory of being teased for her clumsiness hovered at the back of her mind, and with it a bit of anger and resentment for the way she was treated as a result.

The feeling of curiosity brushed her skin with the softness of a velvet ribbon tickling her. It was enough to have her smiling and shaking her head at Jazz. The feeling dissipated like fog on a sunny morning at once, and Bella was more grateful than ever that he wasn't the sort to pry.

She'd never really liked sharing. Usually, it made her feel like a bother, and she hated inconveniencing others. Probably, that was why she and Jazz got on so well. He was remarkably easy to talk to and listened when she did decide to share, but he never pushed when she chose to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Sounds like an entire army heading our way," Jasper mused, one side of his lips tipping up.

Bella cocked her head and listened as well. He was right. Emmett was barreling through the woods. He must have decided to run home from school rather than wait on Rose and Alice for a ride.

"He definitely lacks subtlety," Bella agreed, anticipation making her limbs tingle as she balled her hand into a fist.

Emmett was usually up for a round of sparring, and she loved showing off the new moves Jazz taught her. He made for excellent practice since Jazz's skill level was so out of her league. Plus, she was still stronger than her bear of a brother, and loved taking advantage while she could.

"Best be ready – I'm coming for you, Bella!" Emmett called, likely having heard them discussing him.

"Show him what you've got," Jazz encouraged, striding out of the way and leaning casually against a tree. Not because he was tired of standing, Bella knew, but probably out of habit from mimicking humans for so many years. He grinned openly at her, looking nearly as excited to watch as she was to participate as he added, "Don't hold back."

"I never do."

It was the truth too. Each day while the others were at work or school she would train with Jasper. For hours he would show her how to block and kick and make the most out of her newfound grace. She relished feeling the strength and power of her new body, not to mention the opportunity to do something she never could have done as a human.

She braced her legs, knowing Emmett would come straight at her with all the finesse of a bulldozer.

Right on cue, he bashed his way through the last stand of trees ringing the perimeter of the front yard of their home and didn't slow down. The branches were still visibly vibrating when he reached her.

Bella waited until the last possible second before turning, her foot kicking out as she did to catch Emmett in the side. He stumbled back, but shot his fist out lightning fast – straight into Bella's gut as he did. The blow hurt, but the pain was gone almost as soon as it began since it was only the sensitive neurons in her skin that reacted, not the deeper muscle and vessels that would have been damaged in a human – probably the best part about fighting as a vampire.

Her brother was close enough that she could bring her elbow up under his chin, which she did before dropping down to swipe his feet out from under him in the new move Jazz had taught her the day before.

Emmett fell with an echoing boom, and Bella grinned down at him, planting her hands on her hips. "Victory is mine!" she boasted, laughing merrily.

"Not yet, it's not," Emmett warned, rolling over and grabbing Bella around the knees.

Jasper's musical laughter filled the air as she protested, "Hey!" just as Emmett tossed her.

Bella's back smashed through the porch railing, but she ignored the splintering and sailing pieces that were now so much kindling to launch forward. Her feet shoved through the dirt of Esme's prized flower beds as she leapt, landing on Emmett's back.

Immediately, she wound her arms about his neck and demanded, "Surrender!"

"Enough!" The shout had both of them instantly halting. "How many times have I asked you to practice farther away from the house?"

"Sorry," Bella mumbled sheepishly, ducking her head to avoid seeing Esme's censuring expression.

"You could have knocked down the living room wall in addition to ruining the hellebore we just planted," she continued, though already the disapproval had begun fading from her voice.

"You know we'll fix it," Emmett promised, giving their adoptive mom his best impression of the picture of innocence.

The sound of Rose snickering in the garage at their telling off ruined it though when Emmett glared in her direction. She and Alice must have arrived while Bella was occupied with Emmett.

"Not the point," Esme said, shaking her head at the pair of them.

"It's my fault," Jasper said, joining them as he attempted to take the blame. His contrite words were a marked contrast to the amusement Bella felt wafting around him.

"Looks like I'm right on time," Alice announced, smiling brightly as she carried a tray of brightly colored flowers from the garage.

"Aren't you always?" Bella teased her, knowing she must have already seen this. Probably, Emmett had run home because Alice had stopped to get the replacement flowers on the way.

"Can I help?" Bella asked Esme, taking the flowers from Alice.

"I would love that," she answered, smiling so warmly that Bella knew all was forgiven.

The boys cleared the mess they'd made and voiced plans to get supplies in town to fix the railing while Bella set about helping Esme smooth the ground where her feet had left crater-like divots before they replaced the damaged flowers.

"Did you garden with Renee?" she asked carefully.

Bella had to think long and hard to come up with an answer. The Cullens often asked about her past when the opportunity arose, always trying to help her retain as many memories as possible. She appreciated their efforts, though she honestly didn't think there was anything wrong with not knowing more. She couldn't imagine being happier than she currently was, and she didn't feel as though she was missing out on anything by not remembering.

Still, it was nice when they shared details or stories about her former life when something happened that reminded them. With everyone's help, Bella had painted a picture in her mind of how things were that was quite nice. It was a good life, though her new one was better.

"No," she finally replied, "each year she'd buy loads, but they'd die in the yard before we ever got around to planting them."

"Edward said she had a tendency to be rather flighty and forgetful," Esme remarked, not unkindly, rather it was tentative, as though she didn't wish to blemish Bella's opinion of her mom by pointing out her faults.

"He disapproved?" Bella asked curiously, detecting more of what Esme hadn't mentioned, than what she did.

It was strange, but the more time she spent with the family, hearing Edward mentioned casually now and again, the more intrigued she was by him. He was this huge mystery to her. There were no pictures of him around the house, which made sense when she considered that perfect recall came with being a vampire. But despite not knowing what he looked like, she felt like she knew him. She couldn't wait to see if he was as perfect as he'd been described to be.

Honestly, she sort of hoped he didn't live up to the hype. It simply didn't make sense to her how he could have loved someone as ordinary and plain as she'd once been if he did. Or maybe the plan had always been to change her since even she knew how far from ordinary she was now.

"I think he was more concerned that you didn't have a typical childhood," Esme said carefully, reaching over to cup Bella's cheek. Maternal love radiated from the woman and Bella soaked it up.

Her words were yet more evidence that Edward not only cared about her, but that he wanted his family to know her as well.

If only she could meet him already! Or re-meet him, as it was.

"I'm glad I get to do this with you now," Bella said sincerely.

"I'm so glad, dear," she answered, hugging Bella warmly.

Since the move they'd done several little projects together. Everything from reframing a painting to distressing a dresser. Esme had promised to take her to a flea market to look for hidden treasures for the next home she remodeled once Bella had her newborn bloodlust under control.

Bella had bonded with each of the family, actually, finding some activity they could do together as Bella settled in and adjusted. They kept her constantly entertained. Luckily, she didn't sleep anymore or she'd never have enough time for everything.

With Carlisle it was reading. They'd taken to spending a few hours each evening in the library, sometimes discussing literature while other times reading in companionable silence. Well, as silent as it ever really got with vampire hearing.

Emmett would usually insist on wrestling or playing video games with her. Being with him felt familiar in a way, as though he'd filled a hole in her heart she didn't recall the source of. She'd discovered that she was extremely competitive when it came to the largest Cullen. Probably because he had the biggest mouth and loved riling her up. There was always a great deal of laughing and teasing, which would inevitably draw Jasper in since he couldn't help himself when there were so many positive emotions.

Alice, on the other hand, was teaching Bella about the stock market, which Bella honestly didn't have much patience for, but it was infinitely better than letting Alice play dress up with her. Plus, it gave them time to talk. Alice was the easiest to be around, and Bella felt the most love for the tiny imp, even if it did annoy her that Alice wouldn't share any of the visions she'd been having lately. Alice had become tight lipped about something, and no amount of prodding could get it out of her.

Even Rose had begun spending more time with her. She'd taken it upon herself to give Bella lessons on acting human. Lessons that turned out to be significantly harder than expected given how boring and tedious the repetitive acts were to do. Bella had a feeling Rose had only agreed because it provided her with a legitimate excuse to ridicule Bella. Regardless, they would be beneficial for her to learn in the long run if she was truly to adopt the Cullen lifestyle.

Then there was Jazz. Bella spent more time with him than all of the others combined. This was mostly because the others spent hours each day at school or work while she and Jazz stayed near the house. Part of each day was spent sparing, which Bella was overjoyed to find herself excelling at. But they did other things as well. Everything from reading, to playing chess, to listening to music. He was easy to talk to, and he made her laugh.

Joy. That was the dominant emotion in her life, and it would inevitably have Jazz drifting to her side throughout the day like a moth to a flame. Esme had even commented that she'd never seen Jasper laugh or smile as much as he did now. It was strange to think of Jasper behaving any other way considering he was always so easy-going and happy.

Regardless, Bella honestly couldn't imagine anything better than spending forever just like this.

The scent of wood burning mingled with the stringent sting of the chemicals Carlisle had used to clean the traces of blood off of him at the hospital that day. Even from several feet away she could pick out each unique note of his natural aroma and those he'd picked up at work. The unpleasant mixture was distracting, but not enough to take away from the book she held.

At least it didn't until the scent of sweet pecans joined it.

Bella automatically tucked her feet up from where she was lounging on the sofa to make room for Jasper to join her.

"Haven't you already memorized that by now? I swear this is the forth time you've read it since turning," Jazz joked, tapping the cover of A Tale of Two Cities that she had cradled close to her chest.

Actually it was the fifth, but she loved it.

"Something about it just calls to me I guess," she said, shrugging.

"I'd heard you only read love stories. You know, Austen, Bronte, Shakespeare…."

For some reason Bella didn't really feel comfortable reading those books right now. She'd been told those were what she used to read with Edward. Now, it didn't feel right without him around. Maybe once he returned they would appeal to her again, but she'd just have to wait and see.

"Now I can't seem to get enough of Hugo, Dumas, and Dickens," Bella countered, wondering which she should reread next. Perhaps The Count of Monte Cristo. That one had been particularly intriguing. "Not really sure why."

"Resurrection. Starting over stronger than before," Carlisle suggested.

"Now there's a theme," Bella agreed, liking how it applied to her.

"Darlin', don't kid yourself. You'll always be a hopeless romantic," Jazz said, chuckling huskily.

Bella kicked out at him with her foot, but quick as a flick of a whip he caught it before it made contact. With a tug, he had her close enough to tickle. Bella squealed and squirmed, begging, "Stop, stop, I give!"

"Payback."

She hadn't needed to breathe, but she found herself taking several quick, deep breaths as her giggles died away and she resumed her former position. Probably a leftover human reaction.

A new thought had barely occurred to her before she was saying, "I didn't realize vampires were ticklish."

"You still have all of the sensory receptors in your skin. If anything, they became even more acute when you changed. Though, only another vampire is capable of applying enough pressure for you to detect it," Carlisle explained clinically, ever the scientist.

Was that right? Her mind instantly flashed to Edward. They'd dated while she was human. If what Carlisle was saying was true, then what did that mean for their relationship? Was that part of why he'd left her? He couldn't even feel her touch… Could she ask –

"But not all of us are as ticklish as you," Jasper mocked, dispelling all thoughts of Edward with the interruption.

"We'll see," she said, already planning to test his boast when he least expected it.

"Did you talk to Alice?" Carlisle asked, redirecting Bella's attention. The question sparked her curiosity in an instant.

"I did," Jazz answered, his lips twisting into a full smile as he glanced at her.

"What's going on? What did Alice see?" It had to be something involving her.

"Think you're ready to try braving town tomorrow?" Jazz asked, likely sensing her irritation and being kind enough not to leave her in suspense for longer than necessary. "Alice said it will be overcast all morning, and she doesn't see anything going wrong."

"You really think I'm ready?" Bella asked, stunned.

She'd only been a vampire for about four months. The whole family still referred to her as a newborn, and venom pooled in her mouth everyday when the others returned home, their clothes drenched in the heavenly scent of humans.

"I think you're capable of doing whatever you set your mind to," Jazz said encouragingly.

Bella smiled at him, finding it impossible to doubt. His wild golden hair looked like a halo, though there was nothing angelic about Jasper. Well, not unless you were referring to the warrior archangels who fought in epic battles. Given his keen intelligence and cunning, Jasper could easily be their general.

She had no idea how long she'd been staring at Jazz, but the sound of Carlisle exiting the library alerted her that it may have been a bit too long. Particularly since everyone had taken such pains to ensure Edward was real to her. The missing Cullen wasn't just real, but hers. A fact she suddenly found herself needing to repeat on a loop in her head lest she forget it.

"Sorry," she mumbled, ducking her head and glancing at the empty doorway, but Carlisle didn't return.

"There's nothing to apologize for. He's annoyed I intruded on your time together," Jasper informed her, which might have been partially true, but certainly wasn't the full story. Not that she knew what that was. And of course no one was volunteering to tell her. Though Jasper might if she ever came right out and asked, something always held her back from doing that. Maybe one day she'd get up the courage to ask. "Besides, I'm sure Esme can make it up to him."

"Jazz!" Bella hissed, detecting his amusement at her horrified gasp. The others had no doubt heard him mention their "parents" sex lives. "I expect comments like that from Emmett, not from you!"

"Bella, you've lived with two couples for months. I know you've heard what they get up to, impossible not to with vampire hearing, and yet you still manage to be scandalized by the merest reference," Jasper said incredulously, nudging her thigh.

"I don't think that sort of thing was discussed openly when I was growing up," Bella said stiffly, feeling mutually shy and embarrassed about her prim and proper ways.

"I wonder if you'll still consider it taboo in another hundred years," Jazz mused.

"Probably," Bella acknowledged, sighing loudly.

Jasper's light, responding chuckle filled the room as his fingers tapped rhymically on her leg, likely the melody to a song playing through his head. Bella contented herself with silently making up words to accompany his movements.

"I'm glad I'm a vampire for this, if for no other reason," she announced sometime later.

"This?" he asked, stilling his fingers as he gave her his complete focus.

"Getting to know you, Jazz," Bella explained, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. She had no idea why she'd voiced the sentiment, but now that it was out, there was no taking back. Besides, it was the truth.

"I couldn't before. It was too dangerous. I lacked Edward's control," Jasper said, clouds of regret rolling off him and lapping at her like foaming waves along a Greecian coast.

"It's not your fault," Bella said, inserting as much reassurance and understanding into her voice as she could. Hopefully he felt it from her too.

"I'm fairly certain no one made me attack you," Jasper said dryly, lips thinning in self-disgust for his prior actions.

"But they did," Bella argued, rushing to add, "unintentionally, of course."

"I'd love to know how you've come to that conclusion," Jasper countered, snorting derisively.

"You felt all of their bloodlust. It must have amplified your own. It's probably why you struggle more than the others. Their thirst compounds your own, making it impossible to resist," Bella explained, voicing the conclusion she'd come to in recent weeks as she considered her own thirst.

Wasn't it the reason Jasper always hunted alone or, though rarely, with Emmett? She'd never asked Jasper outright, but Alice had hinted that Jasper lost himself to his most basic instincts when he hunted. Was there any more base desire than the need for the one thing that guaranteed survival?

The thought that Emmett was the only one strong enough to take Jazz on if necessary was suddenly disrupted as she recalled what had led to this conversation – Esme and Carlisle's sex life. Was that the real reason Jasper never hunted with the female Cullens? Sex?

With a swiftness that she'd never have accomplished while human, Bella shut down her thoughts, not wanting Jasper to sense them. She needn't have bothered though. He was too preoccupied considering what she'd last said.

He glanced up, a tiny wrinkle forming between his eyes. "No one has ever stated it so plainly."

"I'm right then?" she guessed, feeling a note of pride that she'd been able to work out what the others had overlooked.

"Yes, but it's still no excuse," Jasper said, owning his shortcoming.

"From what you've told me, my blood was particularly potent for Edward. He only barely resisted, and that was with an emotional connection," Bella stated practically, wondering once again about Edward.

Why had he resisted? If it was love as the Cullens all insisted, why had he left her? Would he still love her after all this time? Did she want him to?

Questions. Questions without answers.

Perhaps that was for the best. At least for now. She was happy, so why complicate matters needlessly?

"A connection we lacked," Jazz mused, his gaze far off as he got lost in his thoughts.

"Yes," Bella murmured, giving him time to think. She hated her thoughts being interrupted, and figured Jazz wasn't much different from her in that aspect.

"You were the first human I was ever even interested in getting to know," he informed her suddenly.

Bella wasn't sure what to say, especially considering she'd shed all the pesky human qualities that had made her so self-conscious in the past. "You know me now," she finally said, and Jazz smiled brightly.

"Not so human anymore, yet somehow you're still the same person," he confessed, nudging her playfully to lighten the mood.

"Entirely the same?" she asked, curious despite herself. How did others see her?

"Perhaps a bit more graceful," he allowed, adding, "and confident."

Bella couldn't help but feel a bit flustered by the genuine praise.

Jasper sent reassurance to her and got up to play some music while she read again. Part of her knew music should make her think of Edward, since the family insisted he loved it, she only knew it as an interest she shared with Jasper.

And while a part of her did want to learn to play an instrument herself, she figured that, at least, could wait until Edward returned. Then maybe music could be their thing too.

Nerves had Bella in a stranglehold the next morning as she was dressing to venture out into the town. Jazz had warned her about the pain, and she was familiar with the scorching burn that singed her throat whenever she was thirsty. Today, it would be much worse.

"What about this one?" Alice asked, pulling out a thin, floral dress that was rather floaty and frilly. From her disappointed expression, Bella didn't actually have to say no aloud for Alice to know her answer. She had no intention of wearing a dress that looked intended for a thirteen-year-old playing princess.

"All I want is a weather appropriate top and jeans," Bella said plainly. She'd been staring at the vast array of items for nearly a full minute when Alice had appeared beside her to help her decide. The problem was, there were too many options, and picking herself seemed rather daunting.

Most of the time Bella didn't bother changing unless her clothes got torn or muddy when she was training with Jasper, and when she did then, there was usually something laid out on her bed for her or she grabbed the first thing she saw. Now, she actually had to think about what wouldn't look strange. Was it too warm outside for a sweater? It was June, but she couldn't really tell. It always felt comfortable regardless.

"Fine. Here," Alice sighed, tossing a blue peasant blouse at Bella. It reminded her of the vague memories she had of how she dressed in Arizona.

"Why are almost all of my clothes blue?" she asked suddenly, glancing at the closet and detecting little variety apart from shades, which ranged from the palest sky blue to the deepest indigo.

"It was Edward's favorite color on you, so you used to wear it a lot. I figured you would still want to," Alice said uncertainly, a little wrinkle creasing her brow.

Bella considered the statement, rolling its significance over in her mind. She'd deliberately tried to appeal to Edward. She'd wanted him to admire her. It certainly suggested that she'd loved him as the others claimed. Except blue wasn't her favorite color, and she didn't really see how wearing it for someone else's sake would be worth it. Clearly it hadn't stopped him from leaving her.

Perhaps not remembering was a blessing. She could make decisions based on her preferences now. If she were more true to herself, instead of making decisions based solely around Edward's likes and dislikes, maybe he'd like her more because she was being true to herself. And honestly, if he didn't –

Her thoughts scattered as Alice began bouncing excitedly and clapping her hands together. She must have seen what Bella was about to ask of her.

Apprehensively, she warned, "Only if you can promise not to go overboard –"

"Oh, Bella! Thank you, thank you, thank you," Alice chimed, already pulling a number of items from the ridiculously large closet and throwing them on a pile. Bella was slightly surprised by the selection. They were all things she was positive Alice wanted her to wear, but she was equally convinced she never would. At least not willingly. "Yes, these are the discards. I've got to make room for the new stuff!" she explained eagerly, her voice trilling with barely suppressed energy.

"Alice," Bella said sharply, trying to reign the pixie in, but there didn't seem much point as she watched her friend bubbling with excitement. "I'm open to changing it up a bit." Feeling the need to reiterate, she added, "A little, Alice. Only a few things. I don't need a whole store's worth of clothes all to myself."

"Are you in need of a rescue, darlin'?" Jazz asked from the doorway, smiling fondly at Alice, but the tiniest Cullen just waved them away, too consumed by her mission to be distracted.

"Yes," Bella agreed emphatically.

The ride into town was relaxing. Bella contented herself listening to Jazz hum along to the songs on the radio as they rode in companionable silence. But the second they parked her nerves ramped into overdrive.

"So how does this work?" she asked, clenched her hands into fists as she watched a man arranging tables in front of a small cafe.

There was a stack of umbrellas propped against the large picture window looking into the shop, blocking the display case full of pastries and premade sandwiches. Bella guessed the umbrellas were normally to provide the patrons shade, but today they'd be blocking the drizzle that seemed ready to start any second. A few splatters already dotted the windshield of the car.

"We're just going for a little stroll. It should be easier being outside since there's a steady breeze," he said lightly, waiting for her nod before he exited and came around to open her door.

Bella was holding her breath, but used a little of the finite supply to ask, "You'll stop me if…."

Jazz offered his hand and she took it gratefully, feeling anchored and more herself the moment they touched even without the benefit of his gift. She appreciated that he wasn't using it to influence her just then. She wanted to do this on her own, to test her limits in a way, while still having him close to provide a safety net if it became necessary.

"I've got you," he promised, leaning close to her ear to whisper the reassurance. Obviously he knew she would have heard him regardless, but his honey drawl was soothing, especially so when delivered in the low, private tone.

They'd barely made it thirty feet when a door opened and two older women walked out of an apartment building arm-in-arm. "Don't let go," Bella urged, bracing herself for the onslaught of pain.

It was intense and venom pooled in her mouth, the tempting aroma surrounding her like pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving dinner. The scent settled on her shoulders, a scarf in winter, and Bella ran through a mental litany to fight her instincts.

It all happened so fast, but as Jazz replied, "Wouldn't dream of it," Bella realized he'd not tightened his hold on her. He trusted her.

That knowledge, along with knowing her thirst was making it more difficult for him as well, made it easy to ignore. With a final compulsive swallow to dispel the excess sweet fluid, Bella focused entirely on Jasper. They must have looked like two normal humans on a typical outing, apart from otherworldly looks that was.

It was a bit thrilling to have a secret and not just be in the know, but part of it.

That knowledge was foremost in her mind as they ambled down the sidewalk, at least until she saw a petite, red leather jacket in a window. The design was edgy and unique, and before thinking, she exclaimed, "Oh, Alice would love that!"

"Best get it for her then," Jazz encouraged, surprising her. Bella had learned he was the least likely to get any of the Cullens material gifts, tending more towards thoughtful gestures instead since he felt they had too much already.

It wasn't until she'd stepped into the store that she realized Jasper wanted her to buy the coat as an excuse to have her interact with humans. He didn't let go of her as she asked the saleswoman to ring up the coat, putting Rose's lessons to use for the first time. As she did, Bella could feel Jazz's amusement at her fake breathing, and figured she was probably overdoing the shoulder movements.

Oh well.

Thinking about that actually made it less challenging to get through the whole experience, and it was much simpler than she'd anticipated. Part of her had been looking forward to having her first foray around humans occur with Edward, but considering no one had any idea when he was likely to make an appearance, she was glad she'd not sat around waiting. Now she knew she was capable, and given Jazz's gift and personality, it was probably better she went with him anyways.

They didn't stay much longer, neither willing to push her too far and risk an incident. They'd just started back to the house when a thought occurred to Bella.

"It really is too bad Alice will have already seen this," she lamented.

Jazz reached over and slung an arm casually around her shoulders. Bella sighed and leaned against him, knowing his reflexes were so good they weren't in danger of crashing. Magnolias and sweet tea filled her nose, allowing her mind to drift far away, towards a different region of the world entirely.

"Serves her right for looking," Jazz commented ruefully, tossing an amused grin towards Bella as he took a turn at a speed no human could have managed without flipping the vehicle and sending the occupants skidding across the pavement like so much raw meat.

"Knowing everything and trying to always protect all of us while not saying more than necessary must be a heavy burden for her," Bella acknowledged, feeling her heartstrings pull acutely for her sister's constant predicament.

No wonder Alice tried to keep as much as possible to herself. It'd probably feel like they were all her puppets if she didn't.

A memory tickled at the back of her mind. Something about Alice sharing more and watching for all sorts of scenarios tried to make itself known, but it was so much swiss cheese. There were simply too many holes to make sense of it.

"She hides it well," he confirmed. "Meeting you helped. Having a friend like you takes her mind off of the pressure."

Friend like her? Because she was a danger magnet? That hardly seemed like a good thing.

"I didn't mean it in whatever way you're taking it, darlin'. I only meant that you don't expect anything from her. We've had decades of watching humans. Most are greedy and selfish. They use and abuse others for their own ends. Given Alice's gift, you could have easily done the same, yet you never have," Jasper explained, having sensed her unease. He was always quick to address her negative emotions. Probably because they were so unusual for her to experience.

"Of course not!"

"And that means more to her than you could probably guess," Jasper stated sincerely, letting the matter drop as the house came into view.

She couldn't wait to share her success with the family and have Alice try on the jacket!

With the incontestable triumph of her first visit to town, Bella went twice more in the following weeks. Each was less stressful than the previous, and with each success she grew more confident that she'd be as functional as the rest of the Cullens by the time they moved on to the next town. As much as she didn't relish the idea of returning to high school, she did want to be a regular part of the family, and that meant keeping up pretenses. And Jasper had mentioned they might be able to enroll in college next since Bella had yet to go. That might actually be a worthwhile experience.

The only thing missing from her life was Edward. With each story, her anticipation for their reunion grew. She couldn't wait to show how well she'd adapted to life as a vampire. She was nervous and giddy all at once. Probably, it was because the family insisted more and more often that his call would come any day now. It had two. This was the longest he'd gone since leaving Forks.

Of course Alice couldn't confirm that he would, having repeatedly informed them that she'd not seen him making any decisions at all. Bella could relate. Just the week before she'd lost nearly thirty hours to watching dust motes dance while Jazz had been away hunting. It was easy to get caught up in the little things and miss the passage of time altogether when you didn't have anyone around you wanted to interact with.

The only time she didn't contemplate Edward was when she was training with Jazz. Then, every ounce of her concentration was centered on learning as much as possible in the hopes of one day besting him. That desire consumed even the farthest reaches of her mind.

Life was perfect.

Then the day finally came when Edward called.

Bella was sitting with Rose and Alice when it happened. Rose was actually being somewhat nice for once and was typing out new hairstyles on Alice and seeking Bella's opinion – though she doubted the stunning blonde truly agreed with anything she said. Alice's eyes had glazed over in that familiar way just a second before the sound of the phone ringing echoed through the house.

"Edward, you can't disconnect your phone like that. I've been needing to talk to you for months now," Carlisle chastised, sounding far more upset with his eldest son than Bella would have guessed him capable of being.

For so long Carlisle had projected this image of believing his son could do no wrong. Apparently it was a front, because it was quite clear how childish the patriarch viewed Edward's most recent decision to distance himself from everyone.

"Is everyone all right?" Edward demanded sharply, and the sound of his voice was a rough stroke to her senses. It chafed uncomfortably, and sent her racing towards Carlisle. The sudden urge to speak with the missing Cullen herself spurred her forward, though she had no idea what she wanted to say.

"Yes, but we need to talk about Bella," he said in a rush, the words uttered quickly even for vampire hearing. "Edward? He hung up," he said blankly, staring at the phone in shock.

"He won't call back again," Alice announced, having followed Bella into the room.

"He could change his mind," Esme said, coming in and moving to wrap a supportive arm around Bella. Her hand ran softly up and down Bella's arm as she continued, "He won't stay away forever. We're his family, and now we've got time to wait him out."

It took a moment to process how she felt. Disappointed was the closest approximation, but it wasn't quite right. Irritated or annoyed might be a better fit. Their romance was supposed to be like something out of a book. This was hardly the fairytale climax she'd envisioned. And wait him out? Hadn't she been doing that for months already?

"Because it's always all about Edward. Selfish," Rose spat viciously. She'd not bothered to come with the other girls, but the whole family still heard her clearly.

"Rosalie," Esme said sternly, pressing her lips into a thin line, though Bella noted she didn't disagree with the sentiment.

Besides, Rose had a point. From all the accounts Bella had heard, things had never been equal between her and Edward, and he hadn't been above using that to his advantage. Now, when things had finally changed, it was still on his terms. She couldn't wait to show him how different things would be moving forward once he did return.

But she didn't want to wait for that time before she started. Bella was through with waiting on Edward.

Alice smiled encouragingly, likely having already seen what Bella intended to ask.

"And in the meantime?" she asked, glancing around at the others. The answer she wanted them to give had already materialized in her mind, but she wanted the others to acknowledge it as well.

"Do what makes you happy. Live your life for yourself," Carlisle stated firmly, the declaration releasing a band about her chest that had been unconsciously suffocating her.

Part of her was surprised he'd take that stance, but she probably shouldn't have been. Carlisle always tried to support his adoptive children in the best way possible. For Bella, he'd thought it was reuniting with Edward, but even he could see that wasn't the case anymore.

"Of course, dear. Let us know if there's anything you desire," Esme agreed at once.

That sounded perfect. So far, she'd been deliberately saving things to do with Edward because she didn't want him to feel guilty or regret missing out because of his absence. For months her list had been growing.

But one thing was certain, she'd not sit around waiting to live her afterlife a moment longer.