The soft beep of the alarm sounded more like a clanging fire alarm to Jack's ears, causing his head to throb. He moaned, pulling the pillow over his head in an attempt to muffle the sound. It didn't help. But he really didn't feel like moving at the moment. He had a headache and he didn't feel like doing much of anything. Not after what happened yesterday.

He let out a heavy sigh, sticking his hand out and hitting the snooze button.

Things just got blown out of proportion yesterday. He couldn't stop once he started. All those feelings of anger and resentment boiled over and Selmak ended up being the target just because he was once a member of the Tok'ra resistance. It wasn't the first time. It might not be the last. Each day had become more and more of a challenge to avoid Jacob or Selmak.

There was only one thing to do. Jack wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it yet. But he knew that sooner or later he was going to have to apologize to Selmak and Jacob. They weren't responsible for what Kanan had done to him. Nor were they responsible for what Ba'al did to him. And Jack knew that if Selmak and Jacob could have they would have saved his ass from being tortured. Hell, they probably would have swapped places with him as he would have done the same for them.

Crap.

Jack knew he was going to have to apologize to everyone. Carter, because her Dad was host to Selmak. Daniel, because Jack chewed his ass out last night when he came over to talk with Jack. Teal'c, because he was doing the same thing…he just wanted to talk. And definitely General Hammond because he was Jacob's friend and more importantly he was Jack's CO. One thing an officer never wanted to do was piss off the 'man' too much. Else they find themselves reassigned to some remote base where it's cold twelve months out of the year.

Only Jack was angrier with himself for allowing things to get so…complicated.

The snooze expired and the alarm sounded again interrupting his thoughts. And again, Jack moaned, pulling the pillow even tighter over his head. He really didn't want to face the day yet.

"You know it's easier if you just turn it off," a woman's sleepy voice yawned.

Jack's eyes popped open.

Ok, so he had been drinking last night. But he didn't think he had gotten that drunk last night. Or, at least he should have remembered if he were entertaining a guest. Especially a female guest! His eyes suddenly widened at the feeling of this woman's warm body snuggling closer against his as she leaned over him and turned off the alarm.

"Better?" she sighed, her head nestling on his chest.

He grunted a reply, keeping his head covered with the pillow. His mind raced trying to figure out who in the heck this woman was and how on Earth she ended up in his bed. He could swear he only had eight beers last night and didn't touch the hard liquor. Definitely not enough to get him totally shit-faced drunk but apparently enough for a hangover as indicated by his splitting headache.

His head seemed to hurt even more as he tried to concentrate. He couldn't remember even leaving his house last night. He was positive he didn't make any phone calls. Daniel came by, that was it. But he was only around for a few minutes. And Jack hasn't been dating anyone. Plus, he was not the kind of guy to go out and just pick up a woman for sex. Hell, he didn't even call those nine hundred numbers he'd seen late at night on television.

For the moment he stayed silent hoping this woman would go back to sleep. He didn't want to offend her by saying something stupid. From experience, he learned that woman were very sensitive the morning after. Presumably this was the morning after. Christ! He couldn't even remember if he had sex last night!

Maybe it was all a dream. He prayed that it was as the woman's voice was vaguely familiar! Unfortunately, things didn't go Jack's way. The woman was not in the mood for sleep. Oh boy…they definitely had sex as she seemed rather frisky and was extremely bold. Her warm lips moved slowly across his chest while one of her questing hands slid down…

"Whoa!" he shouted, jumping off the bed.

His mouth literally dropped wide open, as he was totally aghast at seeing who the woman was. Then a split second later, he quickly realized that he was totally naked. He promptly grabbed a pillow and he covered himself up in an attempted to keep some of his dignity.

"Dr. Fraiser?" he managed to somehow ask with his eyes wide open, brain too stunned to even think.

"Oh…I get it…you want to play that kind of game," she purred as she sat up.

"Jeez!" he yelped.

He closed his eyes quickly as the sheet fell off her chest. As much as he loved seeing a woman naked, he never wanted to see Janet naked. That would be like…like seeing one's own sister naked!

"Please?" she begged in a teasing tone.

"No…no I don't think I want to play that game," he sputtered, keeping his eyes closed.

"Come on…I want to play…I'll let you be the Doctor this time," she pouted.

Jack suddenly felt the warmth of her body right in front of him. Then delicate fingers slowly slid up his chest. He slowly opened an eye.

"Ah!" he shouted, snapping his eye shut again.

In that brief moment his eye had spotted an open door to what looked like the bathroom. Not wasting another moment, Jack opened his eyes and ran for it. He didn't even care that the pillow fell from his grasp. Nor did he stop and to pick it up.

He just desperately needed to shield his eyes from even accidentally getting a glimpse of Dr. Fraiser naked. For the moment, the sanctuary of a bathroom seemed more than an adequate enough place. Once inside, he slammed the door shut and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You ok?" Janet asked as she knocked on the door.

Jack locked it before she had a chance to turn the doorknob. Feeling a little vulnerable in his nakedness, he quickly grabbed one of the bath towels hanging nearby and wrapped it tightly around his waist.

"Just not feeling well…headache…too much to drink last night…you know," he said, cringing yet feeling that he was speaking the truth…to a certain degree. He must have been absolutely out of his mind to sleep with Janet Fraiser!

"Well take care of that headache and come back to bed! That's an order, soldier!"

Jack's eyes frantically searched the bathroom for a means of escape. There was none. The window above the shower was too small and Janet was on the other side of the door. He was trapped in Janet Fraiser's bathroom. Correction, he was trapped with no clothes on in Dr. Janet Fraiser's bathroom! Why couldn't it be any other woman's bathroom? What the hell was he thinking? What the hell was he even doing at Janet's house? Janet was like a sister. Everyone looked after her like she was his or her sister.

The sink!

Jack hurried for it, turning the cold water on.

"Maybe I'm dreaming," he muttered out loud watching the sink fill up with cold water. "I must be dreaming. My voice doesn't even sound like mine!"

Once the sink was full, Jack turned the water off then stuck his face in it. Something had to wake him up from this nightmare. His hands massaged his face beneath the water. Coming up slightly, he cupped the water in his hands and doused the back of his neck. Then he repeated the same process over the top of his head.

"What the…" he exclaimed when his hands didn't feel his hair on top of his head.

Jack shot up and looked in the mirror.

"AAHHH!" he screamed at the sight of another man's reflection, stumbling backwards and falling into the bathtub, nearly yanking the shower curtain down in the process. He cried out again when the back of his head smacked against the wall.

'Hey…I'm trying to sleep here! What the devil is going on?' a voice shouted.

Jack jumped out of the tub. Looking around he saw no one else in the room.

'Sel, why are we in the bathroom? You know I like waking up with Janet,' the voice said.

This time Jack felt the voice was coming from within him. A voice that sounded all too familiar. Ever so slowly, Jack made his way back towards the mirror. He inched his face forward until he saw the reflection again.

"Jacob?"

'Sel, you feeling ok?'

'Shit! How much did I drink last night?' he asked himself, turning away from the mirror and rubbing a hand over his face.

'Too much. You damn near ruined our evening with Janet,' Jacob answered angrily.

Jack's mind was suddenly bombarded with images of Janet totally naked from Jacob's perspective. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see them. That was the whole point of coming into the bathroom. Only closing his eyes didn't help any. The images were within his mind and he saw them in complete, vivid detail. Plus, the images were accompanied by…sensations…feelings that Jacob had for Janet. Strong feelings. Some of them were quite…passionate.

'Great…the guy's in love with her!' Jack scoffed to himself.

'Of course I'm in love with her. Selmak, what's wrong with you?'

Jack remained silent trying not to think of anything as Jacob seemed to hear everything Jack was thinking. Plus, he didn't know why Jacob was calling him Selmak! And what the hell was he doing with Janet? Aside from the obvious fact that they're doing the horizontal mambo, when did they even hook up? Jacob didn't even seem Janet's type. Not that Jack cared much of what Jacob's been doing lately. Jack had been avoiding him whenever possible to avoid a confrontation with Selmak.

'Fine, be a brat,' Jacob harrumphed and Jack's mind exploded at the thought of anyone calling Selmak of the Tok'ra a B-R-A-T and living to get away with it! 'Can I have control of my body back now?'

Jack stiffened! Control? Shit, Jack had no idea what the hell was going on? If anything, he felt totally out of control at the moment. Out of control and very confused. It seemed like the entire universe just turned upside down on him. Or maybe this was one of those alternate reality situations.

'Selmak, please. If you're going to pull your silent act on me at least give me my body back,' Jacob insisted.

Not knowing what to do, Jack wished for Jacob to have his body back. A part of him was still convinced this was all a bad dream because the Janet he knew would never go out with Jacob. Or at least the Janet he thought he knew.

Plus, no one, not even Jacob, would refer to Jack as Selmak. Never in a hundred million…billion years! And especially not after the fight they had yesterday.

"Thanks," Jacob smiled, inspecting his face in the mirror. Then he noticed the sink full of cold water. Jack held his breath. "Selmak, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. You are not to attempt to shave my face. Especially not in cold water."

Jack stayed quiet still hoping and praying he would wake up soon but knowing that was never going to happen. He watched as Jacob washed up in steaming hot water and brushed his teeth. The man whistled the entire song 'Off into the Wild Blue Yonder' in his head while doing so. Thankfully Jacob could carry a tune as Jack didn't know if he would be able to tolerate it if the man couldn't.

Then Jacob headed out of the sanctuary of the bathroom. Jack instinctively closed his eyes. He didn't to see Janet again as the images of her naked were still etched upon his mind no matter how much he tried to erase them. He still couldn't believe she was with Jacob and Selmak.

"Janet, what's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"Ask her!"

'Sel…what did you do?' Jacob growled within his mind.

Jack did his best to not laugh. Selmak was female? What a hoot! No wonder Jack got punched in the face yesterday. Women were always more sensitive then men. Ok, whatever happened, maybe it was worth it just to find out that little fact. Plus, this gave Jack more ammo for his next confrontation with Selmak. Or more importantly the next conversation he had with Jacob. Jacob Carter was a man's man with a female snake in his head. Jack wasn't going to be able to resist the bombardment of jokes!

"I'm sorry, Janet," Jacob sighed. "She's giving me the silent treatment."

"Well, I hope she's going to apologize."

"She will…I promise," Jacob cooed, snuggling up against Janet. "I think she's still upset about Jack calling her a snake and goading her into throwing a few punches his way. She knows better than to sink to Jack's level."

"Maybe we could bring her out of her foul mood?"

"We could try," he whispered, before kissing Janet deeply.

Jack tried to squeeze his eyes shut even tighter. He didn't want to accidentally get a glimpse of anything. The very thought Janet with Jacob…was like…was like…it was disgusting…like walking in on one's parents doing it. Good God…the man was old enough to be her father as she was the same age as Carter.

"She's like a rock back there," Janet said, her fingers kneading the back of Jacob's neck where somehow Jack could feel them.

Whatever she was doing…it felt good! All kinds of sensations started happening. Jack even had this overwhelming feeling that was…rather distinctly…erotic. Only it was like nothing he had ever felt before.

"I think she's starting to relax," Jacob whispered.

Even though Jack's eyes were still closed, he could hear everything. Janet and Jacob were still in the early stage of foreplay, content with kissing and caressing each other. They spoke softly of their love for each other. And suddenly Jack felt like he was intruding.

Despite, the fact that he thought the idea of Janet and Jacob was...disgusting, here were two people so very much in love with each other. Everything Jacob said and felt, Jack heard in his mind and felt. It was bizarre. Though Jacob was in total control, Jack wasn't exactly a passenger. Everything Jacob felt as Janet kissed and caressed him was transferred through to Jack as well.

Regardless of how these two hooked up, Jack instinctively knew their love for each other was true. But that feeling of intruding was more than enough for Jack to pull back and separate himself enough that he was now only a mere observer. Somehow he was even able to pull back even more, disconnecting himself from Jacob as it were. There are times when it's good to be the fly on the wall. Jacob and Janet making love to each other was not one of them.

Alone with his own thoughts, Jack suddenly realized he had a bigger problem than he had when he first woke up. One, how did he end up in Jacob's head? And two, how the hell does he get back to his own body? In fact…where the hell was his body?

And…where the hell was Selmak?