The Alter Ego's Birthday Lunch (or, Kid Curry Throws a Hissy Fit)
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"Kate, it's that alter ego's birthday…. Again," Kid lamented without so much as an apology for interrupting what looked to be some sort of fancy café lunch party, solely attended by a flock of cackling geese trying to pass as old ladies trying to relive their teenybopper days.
"How did you find me?" Kate growled.
"It ain't hard. I just follow your thoughts, or rather your thought, as you seem to have a very one-track mind, which I ain't complaining about being as that one track is me."
"Then what are you complaining about?" Kate asked, trying to keep her lips still as she whispered.
"Well, it ain't fair. He just had a birthday what, a year ago?"
"That's generally how birthdays work. Once a year, same date every year."
"That ain't how it works for me, and it ain't how it works for Heyes neither. We ain't had a birthday in almost a hundred and fifty years, or so you claim."
"Kate, are one of the boys channeling you right now?" Rachel C asked when she heard Kate mumbling under her breath and noticed Kate's eyes nervously skirting from the table to an indiscernible spot just over Rita's head.
Kate nodded and sighed heavily. "The Kid's here," she told the group.
"Where?" Rachel K demanded.
"Standing just behind Rita," Kate replied.
All heads turned to peer into the empty space behind Rita.
"Can you make him visible?" Rita asked.
Kate shook her head. "I haven't got an artistic bone in my body," Kate replied. "If one of you ladies can draw…" she said. "But I have to warn you, he's not a happy camper."
"When is he ever a happy camper when he pays you a visit?" Rachel C asked.
"Anybody got a felt tip?" Rachel K blurted out urgently and with total disregard to Kate's warning.
"I just went to Hobby Lobby," Rita explained as she rummaged through her purse. "I have a full color range of artistic pens."
"What do you have to draw on?" Rachel C asked.
Both Rita and Rachel K took sweeping looks about the room. The napkins and curtains were both dark colored fabric, not suitable for drawing. The tablecloth was white linen but had both spaghetti and chocolate birthday cake stains scattered throughout. Suddenly their eyes met and triumphant smiles spread across their faces. "The wall!" they exclaimed in unison.
"Draw him in the bathtub!" Rachel C squealed.
"Kate, stop them!" Kid shouted. "This is getting way outta hand!"
"You could have waited to talk to me about this in private," Kate snarled, then turned her attention back to the invited party guests. "Wait a minute you guys," Kate cautioned. "The Kid is protesting again," she explained.
"Just ignore him," Rita suggested. "After all, Kid is always complaining about something to you."
Kate couldn't disagree with that summation, but at the same time, she was still empathetic to the fictional cowboy's plight. "What are you unhappy about this time?" she asked.
"You ladies are expecting me to act as your guest of honor now that I'm here."
"And that's a problem… how?" Kate asked.
"Just look at that half eaten cake on the table. What words are scrawled in icing? I'll tell you what words," Kid snarled. "It says 'Happy Bir..d..y, Ben,'" Kid added as he read the remaining letters on the cake. "It don't say Happy Birdy Kid. It says Happy Birdy Ben. You're celebrating the alter ego's birthday, not mine, so just leave me out of it!"
"That was our intention," Kate told him. "You're the party crasher here."
"Kate, what's he saying?" Rachel C asked.
Deep wrinkles developed on top of all the many normal aging wrinkles on Kate's brow and she sighed heavily, knowing the other ladies were not going to be happy with Kid's rather self-centered protests. "Being as this party is for the alter ego, Kid doesn't want to be seen, ladies. I'm sorry."
"And you can just tell Rachel C what she can do with her idea of drawing me sitting in a bathtub. She's as bad as you when it comes to a one-track mind. Honestly, don't you ladies ever think of anything else?" Kid asked.
"I get the idea," Kate said, straining to keep her voice calm. "I'm sorry ladies but he especially doesn't want to be seen in a bathtub in a public restaurant," Kate told the group.
"Pretty particular for a fictional character," Rachel C grumbled. "Why I've put him in far more embarrassing and public situations than that."
"You tell Rachel C that I rest my case," Kid told Kate. "It begins with putting me in a bathtub and ends up with Rachel writing things that… that I'd be arrested for if I was to write them things back in my day."
"Kid, how about you pick a day, any day out of the entire year, and we'll have a birthday party just for you. But for today, you go back to wherever it is you just came from so we ladies can have a respectful celebration for the alter ego. He's eighty-one one years old, after all."
Kid gave this a bit of thought. "Alright, but just remember, eighty-one don't come close to almost a hundred and fifty."
"Kid, you do realize that omitting birthdays is the very reason you still look and feel thirty years old, right?" Kate asked.
Kid nodded but stared longingly at the half eaten cake on the table. "Just once I'd like a Happy Birdy Kid cake, though," he grumbled.
"Is he threatening to shoot up the place?" Rachel C asked hopefully. "I don't think there's ever been a story about Kid Curry getting shot and falling face first into a chocolate birthday cake! Oh, the possibilities!"
"Kate, is there nothing you can do about her?" Kid whispered into Kate's ear.
Kate tried hard not to smile as she shook her head. "Besides Kid, you'd miss all that attention, and you know it."
"Do we get to draw him on the wall or not?" Rachel K asked.
"Not," Kate replied. "In fact, I think The Kid is about to leave us, provided we promise to throw him his own party at a later date."
"I'm all for parties," Rita exclaimed.
"Just one thing," Rachel C added. "On Kid's Happy Birdy cake, can we have him soaking in a bathtub filled with icing?"
Kate looked at Kid who just raised his eyebrows at the idea. "Won't get no objection from me," he said with a wink in Rachel C's direction.
Kid leaned down and whispered into Kate's ear, then faded into oblivion.
"Kid just left ladies, but he said he wanted to join us in wishing the alter ego…."
A very Happy Birthday!