Allie's revelation that Nathan requested a transfer to Hope Valley stayed with Elizabeth for several days. Finally, she could bear the suspense no longer. On Saturday morning, she settled Jack on her hip and began making her way to Nathan's house. She knew it was presumptuous to call on him at his own home, but she had a feeling the question would nag at her until she had answers.
She hadn't walked more than three steps when she saw Nathan and Allie coming down the path toward her. Fishing poles were slung against their shoulders. Nathan had one arm around Allie, and the two of them were laughing together. Elizabeth's heart tightened in her chest. It was a sweet, domestic picture, one she instinctively knew she could be a part of if only she could get out of her own way.
The thought had no sooner crossed her mind than Nathan looked up and spotted her. The smile faded from his lips, though he nodded in greeting as they drew closer. "Good morning, Elizabeth." His gaze warmed as he grinned at Jack. "Hey, Jack. Look at how big you're getting!"
Jack grinned back. "Na'tan!"
Allie gasped. "He said your name!"
Elizabeth and Nathan both stared at the little boy. He gurgled happily, holding his arms out to Nathan. Overcoming his surprise quickly, Nathan handed his pole to Allie, then looked at Elizabeth. "May I?"
"Of course," she replied. She handed the boy to Nathan, watching as he talked to him and made him laugh. He had an ease with Jack that she appreciated.
He would make a wonderful father for her son.
The knowledge wasn't new, but it nearly stole her breath as she thought it now. She knew without a doubt that if Jack had Nathan in his life, he would grow up to be a strong, kind man who was selfless and good.
She felt an arm wrap around her waist. Looking down, she saw Allie smiling up at her. "He's good with Jack, isn't he?" she asked.
Elizabeth blinked back tears. "He is."
Allie nodded. "Uncle Nathan has always had a soft spot for kids." She leaned her head against Elizabeth's arm. "I am so thankful he took me in. I don't know what would have happened to me otherwise."
Elizabeth embraced the girl. "You were blessed," she said softly. "Your Uncle Nathan is a wonderful man."
Allie smiled. "He is."
Jack turned his attention then to the preteen. "A'wee!" he squealed, reaching out for her next. Allie chuckled, carefully placing the fishing rods on the ground. She took Jack, glancing between the adults. "I think I'll just take him to play in the field for a bit," she said, nodding toward the expanse of grass by the rowhouses. "Is that okay?"
Silently blessing the girl, Elizabeth nodded. "That's fine. Thank you, Allie."
The girl led the toddler away. When they were out of earshot, Nathan turned to her. "What's on your mind, Elizabeth?" His words were gentle, his eyes locked on hers.
She swallowed, her throat suddenly parched. But she had to know. Gathering her courage, she spoke. "Why did you come to Hope Valley, Nathan?"
His eyes shadowed. "I came because I discovered that Jack Thornton had left a widow and infant son behind when he died. I came to act as a protector for his family and for his town. If he couldn't be here for you, I would be."
He said the words matter-of-factly, but there was pain in his gaze. It was almost as if he expected her to push him further away. Instead, Elizabeth felt touched. She moved forward before she thought better of it, wrapping her arms around his waist. His surprise was evident in the stiffening of his body, but he quickly relaxed and put his arms loosely around her in return.
"Thank you, Nathan," she whispered into his chest. "You made a sacrifice for me, for my son, and for this town. We owe you a debt of gratitude."
Nathan shook his head. "If it wasn't for me…"
Elizabeth reacted quickly. She reached up, putting her fingers firmly over his lips. "Don't," she said, her voice choked. "It wasn't your fault, Nathan. You need to believe that."
He stilled, looking at her silently. Elizabeth removed her hand, letting it fall to his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault," she repeated, gazing up at him.
His lips compressed into a tight line, but he slowly nodded. "I'll try to remember that." His arms fell to his side. Elizabeth felt bereft, but she knew the right thing to do was step back and give him some space. After all, she had been the one to ask for time to think things over. He was probably guarding his heart until she gave him an answer.
Feeling as if she owed him an explanation, Elizabeth looked down at the ground. "I'm still considering…everything," she said quietly. "Thank you for being patient with me. The heart can be a tricky organ."
Nathan was smiling when she finally looked up again. "What's in your heart, Elizabeth?"
His soft question made her pause, reminding her of a day long ago when he'd asked the same question. His eyes roamed her face, almost as if he could see the answer written there. Elizabeth's lips parted, her head tilting to one side as she considered what he'd said. Nathan lifted a hand, brushing a stray piece of hair away from her cheek. "You let me know when you figure it out," he whispered, his touch lingering a beat longer than necessary.
She nodded, her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth. Nathan took a step back, calling Allie and Jack. The children came at once, Jack toddling on unsteady legs beside Allie. Nathan scooped up her son, giving him a hug. "You be good for your mama," he said, shooting Elizabeth a smile. "She needs lots of love from you, alright?"
Jack gurgled his agreement, clapping his little hands. Nathan handed him to Elizabeth. Their fingers brushed as he did so. Just like it had in the library so long ago, electricity coursed up her arm and straight into her heart. They stared at each other for a moment. The look on his face told her he'd felt the current too. With a little smile, he nodded a farewell. He and Allie picked up their gear and headed down the road once more. Elizabeth watched them go. She had the answer to the question of why he came to Hope Valley, and it had touched her heart in a way she wasn't expecting. Now he had posed another that needed answering.
But this one was a question only she could answer. And she wasn't sure what that answer was.
The walk to the river was quiet. Uncle and niece walked side-by-side, each lost in their own thoughts. Nathan knew that he needed to have an open and honest conversation with Allie about recent events. This wasn't like Fort Clay. Allie was old enough now that she deserved to know what was going on. Because all of this was affecting him, it affected her.
And should details about Fort Clay come out, Nathan would prefer that she hear them from him first. Not that it made it any easier to start that conversation.
Reaching the river, finding a place to fish provided a nice distraction. The two walked along the edge, pointing out and rejecting spots in turn. The duo finally found a spot they both agreed on. The water ran slowly through it, creating a shaded pool of water. At some point a huge branch had fallen from a tree, settling beneath the surface of the water. It was the perfect place for the fish making this pool their home to lurk. A fallen tree along the bank provided a nice bench for uncle and niece.
Allie settled on the log. Nathan soon joined her. He watched as she deftly baited her hook and cast the line into the water. As she settled in to wait for a fish to show interest in her bait-covered hook, Allie became aware of her uncle watching her.
"Is everything all right, Uncle Nathan?" she asked, her voice relaying her worry.
Nathan shook himself from his reverie, a nostalgic smile on his face. "Yes, Allie-girl," he assured her. "I was just thinking back to when I first started taking you fishing. You were five, and I baited your hook for you. I tried to get you to pick up a worm and you squealed in disgust. When you did catch a fish, you happily reeled it in until you got a look at it. Then you squealed again and dropped the pole."
"I didn't," she protested, though the smile on her face said that she did believe him.
"You did," he confirmed. "I managed to grab the pole before it ended up in the water, but the fish got loose. Now, you do not even need me to catch a fish."
"I may not need you, but fishing is more enjoyable with you at my side." Allie leaned her head on his shoulder.
Nathan placed a kiss against her hair. Deciding to hold off on casting his own pole for now, he leaned it against the log beside him.
"Allie, there is something that I think you need to be aware of."
"Are the Mounties suspending you again?" she asked. Anger flashed in her brown eyes. "How can they! Judge Avery said you didn't do anything wrong! Don't they believe him? Don't they believe you? It isn't fair! You do so much for everyone else, sometimes with little gratitude. You could have been killed because someone else decided to go for a rifle when that lady was pointing a gun at you! Don't they care about any of that!"
Nathan was surprised by Allie's outburst. He had no idea his niece had been holding those emotions inside. Before he could respond though, she continued.
"Some of the boys at school are saying they might put you in jail for the death of the Mountie," she said, dropping her voice even as she looked down at the ground. "Robert told them to shut up. Mrs. Thornton caught that part of it and asked him to explain himself. He wouldn't. I should have said something in his defense but I was afraid if I brought it up I would start crying in school. Robert had to stand in the corner for twenty minutes because he wouldn't apologize."
Nathan reached out and wrapped an arm around Allie's shoulders, pulling her to his side. His niece responded by leaning in close.
"First off, I am not going to jail," Nathan said. "I promise you that. Second, if Robert chose not to speak up for himself, then I doubt he will be upset with you for not doing so. However, I can explain the situation to Mrs. Thornton if you would like."
"No, I don't think that is necessary. Mrs. Thornton seems upset about enough right now. Perhaps it is best just to leave things how they are."
"If you think that is best," Nathan said, knowing that Allie was accurate about Elizabeth being upset by things already. Hearing a further explanation of the situation would probably upset her further. As for Robert, standing in the corner was not the end of the world.
Allie lifted her head. Still holding onto her pole, she looked up at Nathan. "What about being suspended? You didn't say anything about that."
"No, I didn't," Nathan admitted. "Partly because at this point, I simply do not know. Something doesn't feel right about the whole situation and I have heard nothing about the outcome yet. I also fear this might have something to do with what happened at Fort Clay. My old commanding officer is in charge of the investigation."
"Well, that doesn't seem fair," Allie replied instantly.
"I am not sure anyone in Union City was aware of my past connection with SuperIntendent Hargraves," Nathan said, not wanting to believe all of his superiors were out to end his career. If the rest of the brass at Union City headquarters were aware of his past with Hargraves, surely someone else would have been given the investigation. "However, there is no chance of me going to jail. Like other jobs, the worst that could happen is that I lose my job, but I don't think even that will happen."
"But what if it does? Would we need to leave Hope Valley?"
"No, we would not need to leave Hope Valley. If I was suddenly in need of work, don't you think either Mr. Coulter or Judge Avery would find me a job in their businesses?"
Allie smiled. "Yes, I think they would."
"We have good friends here, Allie. No matter what happens, you and I are going to be alright."
She nodded. Nathan gave her shoulders another squeeze before she sat up straighter, now looking out at the water.
Nathan reached for his own pole. "Allie, what do you remember about the incident at Fort Clay?" Nathan tried to keep the tone of his voice casual, not wanting to further worry his niece. Still, he needed to know what pieces he needed to fill in should information regarding Fort Clay and his connection to Jack Thornton come out.
"I remember you being suspended, but everyone said you did the right thing," Allie commented, watching as Nathan baited his hook and tossed the line out into the water. "You were even cleared by the inquiry board though I remember you telling me that you had lost an assignment, right before you started leaving the Fort on trips to carry messages. You told me that you were putting in a request for a transfer because of the frequent trips. Then there was that landslide and some Mounties were killed. You were very sad after that. I remember another inquiry and then your transfer to Fort Simpson came in shortly afterwards."
He nodded. Though she did not know the details, Nathan realized his niece had been aware of more than he realized. "Did you know that the landslide happened to the training group that I would have been leading if I had not been reassigned?"
"Is that why you were so sad?"
"Yes, that is part of the reason," he affirmed. "However, I was also upset because I had been through the area where the landslide had occurred on my way back to Fort Clay the day before. I reported that the area was unstable. After the accident, my written report came up missing and my commanding officer said he did not remember me making a verbal report. That was what that second inquiry was about. As there was no evidence except my word against Sgt. Hargraves' word, the inquiry was dismissed. I think the transfer came through so quickly then to defuse the situation between me and him."
"So no one believed that you reported the unsafe conditions?"
"I am not sure, Allie. What I am sure of is that my written report had gone missing and no one else had heard the verbal report. I had no proof to back up my claim, though neither did Sgt. Hargraves."
"That is so unfair."
Nathan nodded. "Life can be unfair at times. But then you know that first hand. As does Mrs. Thornton. Her husband was one of the Mounties killed in that landslide, Allie. In fact, he was the one who replaced me."
"Is that why things are so awkward between the two of you right now?" Allie asked, looking from the water to him.
"It is a good part of the reason," Nathan said. "However, the incident with the prisoner transfer has also brought up memories and fears for her. My admission to my connection to those events has only complicated things."
"But it wasn't your fault," Allie protested. "You did nothing wrong but still lost the assignment, though part of me is glad of that now." Allie paused, as if realizing what those words meant. "Not that I don't wish Mrs. Thornton's husband had not died on that assignment."
"I know what you meant, Allie." Nathan assured her.
"Does Mrs. Thornton blame you?" Allie asked.
"No," Nathan replied. "She told me she does not. However, she still has things to sort through, and I need to be patient while she does that."
"Do you blame yourself?" Allie asked. "Is that why you wanted to come to Hope Valley?"
Nathan met his niece's gaze. Not much got past her. He nodded his response. "I guess I question if there was more I could have done. Perhaps I could have spoken to Constable Thornton directly. I couldn't change what had already happened, but when I found out that Constable Thornton's widow had given birth to their child, I felt an obligation to come watch over them."
"Are you in love with Mrs. Thornton?"
Nathan felt a surge of panic. That was a topic he was not quite ready to discuss with his niece. Thankfully, he was spared trying to answer it right then as there were bites on both lines. By the time two good-sized fish were reeled in and on a string, Allie had forgotten about asking the question and their conversation turned to lighter subjects.
Elizabeth couldn't sleep that night. Her conversation with Nathan played over in her head, as did his brush with death, their embrace in the street, and their conversation about Fort Clay. It all jumbled together in her mind, making sleep seem impossible. When she finally did drift off, strange dreams consumed her mind.
She held tightly to Nathan after he trudged into town. The knowledge filled her that he might have been the one shot, that he might not have come home. Elizabeth shook all over. Nathan pulled back, looking down at her with a little frown.
"Are you alright?"
No, she was not alright. Elizabeth's mouth opened and closed as she stared up into his eyes. Dread poured through her entire being. She couldn't do this, not again. She'd already lost Jack. She couldn't lose Nathan as well.
"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Nathan. The risk is too high. I can't love another Mountie."
Nathan began to protest, but Elizabeth pulled out of his arms and clamped her hands over her ears. She didn't want to see his disappointment or hear his arguments. The truth was simple. She couldn't be with him.
Turning, she ran. Nathan called after her, but she ignored his pleas. Turning a corner, she ran straight into another person. Stunned, she stared at her late husband. "Jack?"
He was frowning, looking in Nathan's direction. "What was that, Elizabeth? Since when are you a coward?"
She gasped, stung at the rebuke. She took a step back. "I can't love him, Jack. I can't risk that pain again."
Jack's gray eyes pierced hers. "I'm disappointed in you, Elizabeth."
Gasping, Elizabeth sat upright in her bed. Tears wet her cheeks. It took her a moment to remember that she had been dreaming. She shuddered at the memory of the pain in Nathan's eyes and the disappointment in Jack's.
"It was just a dream," she murmured to herself. Feeling a little queasy, she settled back onto the pillows. It took her another half hour to fall back asleep, only to find herself in the midst of more disturbing dreams.
Elizabeth sat on a blanket, laughing as a flute of champagne rested in her hand. A lavish spread of food sat before her, and Lucas was at her side. They talked about many surface-level things. Lucas was attentive and kind, but Elizabeth found her heart wasn't stirred. Still, she laughed and flirted, knowing this to be a choice that would protect her heart. Lucas wasn't Nathan. She would be safe from deep feelings with him.
Thunder rumbled and a downpour began. Elizabeth shrieked and raced for Lucas' car. They huddled there to wait out the rainstorm. As she turned to him to say something, she realized just how close they were. Lucas' eyes dropped to her lips. Elizabeth's stomach clenched. No, she didn't want that. Not from him. But if she couldn't be with Nathan, maybe she should allow Lucas to come closer. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She swallowed and leaned toward him.
A flash of lightning lit the forest around them, making her blink. As it faded, Jack appeared behind Lucas, staring directly at Elizabeth. His face was severe, his eyes unforgiving.
"I'm disappointed in you, Elizabeth."
She yelped, pitching backward. She fell through the car door and down into a yawning chasm with no end. Falling head over heels, she had no concept of space or time. Eventually she landed with a plunk in a love seat. Frowning, she looked around the unfamiliar surroundings. It was an office, one she'd never seen before.
"Are you alright?"
Lucas' smooth voice pierced her thoughts. She glanced up, seeing him leaning against the desk. This must be his office. He moved toward her, sitting in the spot beside her. "I've been wanting to talk to you."
"Go ahead," she managed, still reeling at the sudden change in location.
He took her hand, looking at her with earnest brown eyes. "I want to be with you," he said. "I want us to be together forever." He pulled a box from his vest pocket. Opening it, he revealed a huge diamond surrounded by sapphires. "Will you marry me?"
She stared at the ring, a symbol of the easy, comfortable life she would have if she married him. Though she didn't love him, at least she would be cared for. At least she wouldn't have to worry about having her heart broken.
She nodded, holding out her hand. Lucas smiled and slipped the ring onto her finger. The weight of it dropped her hand to her lap. Elizabeth continued to stare at the ring. Her life was about to change.
She felt nothing.
Giving Lucas a nod, she stood and walked out of his office. She ran into Jack yet again. He glared at her, accusation in his eyes. He gripped her hand, one finger over the ostentatious ring. "You don't love him," Jack growled. "You love Nathan."
Elizabeth jerked her hand away. "At least I know he won't leave me like you did!" she retorted.
Jack frowned. "I expected better from you, Elizabeth."
Hot tears filled her eyes. Turning, she blindly ran.
For the second time that night, Elizabeth woke suddenly. This time, she was drenched in a cold sweat. For a few dizzying, terrifying moments, she couldn't remember what was reality and what was dream. The fingers of her right hand groped for the ring finger on her left. She felt the rings resting there. Whose rings were they? Jack's or Lucas'?
Elizabeth fumbled with her bedside lamp. It took her a minute to switch it on and sit up. She raised her trembling hand. A sigh of relief escaped when she saw that she wore Jack's rings. Looking around the room, she slowly relaxed. She was in her own home, the one she had shared with her husband. She was not engaged to Lucas. She wasn't even in a relationship with him.
Relief flooded her, but the confusion lingered. She leaned back against her pillows. Why were these dreams becoming a constant? Was it because she couldn't figure out her own heart? She needed to sort that out. She had to answer the question Nathan had posed. Elizabeth had a feeling that held the key to moving into the future.
The question was, what did that future hold … and was she brave enough to embrace it?