Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I didn't own Harry Potter. I'm SO cool, though, it might've just happened when I wasn't looking. HA!

In a rare burst of generosity, I've decided to post a new chapter a little earlier. It usually takes me about a week, though.

Flame Alert!

Let me just say that this is just out of order...

I think YOU'RE the one who needs to go take the "ice cold shower"!Gays and lesbos go to hell for being that way. But of course, the fantastical imaginings are only the products parallel to the author's mind. ARE YOU GAY?

See, Rache and I don't even know what to say, here. This is just so completely uncalled for...

Slash warnings are there for a reason, to keep predjudiced jerks like this OUT. Okay, I really have no problem with people who don't like HP slash (though you probably shouldn't be reading this), but anyone who wants to make remarks such as this about homosexuals are NOT OKAY BY ME, AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. I just CAN'T STAND people like this.

Rachel is speechless with rage.

Well, as I think I've commnicated it well enough (asshole), here's a rather abrupt segway into the next chapter:

Chapter One—How?

Let it be known to all of you that I'm just bad at this kind of thing. You know, love, and all. When I first realized I was in love with Sirius, I was dating a girl named Rachel Thompson. I felt so terrible about my sordid little unrequited love epiphany; I dumped Rachel on the spot.

I didn't exactly give her a reason, I just told her it was because of house elves and ran off. She probably thinks I molest the elves in the kitchens now.

Rachel was a great girl, too. She wasn't bad looking, and she was really nice. She's one of the five girls in their seventh year here in Gryffindor Tower.

One of them is Lily Evans, my friend James' girlfriend. Then there's Alice, who's engaged to last year's head boy, Frank Longbottom.

The other two girls…their names are Jessica and Rose. I don't know anything else about them, and I don't care. They both should drop dead.

Sorry, I don't normally talk like that. You see, Jessica and Rose are Sirius' only actual more-than-twenty-minutes-in-the-broom-closet girlfriends. He dated Rose for two weeks in our fifth year and Jessica for a month right after that.

And they both should die for it.

Anyway, I go down to breakfast, and I see someone with really long, dark brown hair talking to my Sirius.

Some of us prefer illusion to reality, you know. Especially when your reality sucks as hard as mine.

So, the snot-faced brunette is Jessica. What she's doing talking to him, I don't know. I barely register that I'm oh-so-casually leaning against the wall, gaping at my gorgeous best friend and his obnoxious ex.

"What'cha looking at, Moony?" James asks, leaning next me.

"Sirius…he's beautiful." I blurt it out before I can stop myself. SHIT. I DID NOT really just say that.

"HA! I KNEW—" James said, but I cover his mouth with my hand and pull him into the broom closet right next to us. I've always wondered why there's one in the Great Hall. Emergency mopping issues, possibly. Someone spills some pumpkin juice, and Filch must clean it up before it…soaks into the wood floor, causing water damage.

Yeah. That's it.

Once we're safely away from the rest of the population of Hogwarts, except for the possible horny, sleazy Slytherin couple that may occasionally inhabit this closet, I remove my hand from James' mouth.

"—IT!" James is grinning madly, pointing at me. "You fancy Padfoot!"

"Prongs, that's not entirely true." If I'm going to say the thing, I should do it right. "I…I love him."

So much is carried in those three words, it's unbelievable. I don't think anyone loves anyone as strongly as I love Sirius. For instance, I bet you anything nobody else has noticed that Sirius has exactly twenty-one different smiles, and how each one makes my heart melt and shatter at the same time. Has anyone else noticed the way he holds his fork, or the way his eyes shine in this breathtaking way whenever something bad happens to a Slytherin?

I stare at James' dumfounded expression.

"Prongs—James. You have to SWEAR not to tell Sirius. Ever."

"Moony, I won't tell him."

"thanks, mate." I run out of the broom closet, accidentally slamming James inside, though I'm to anxious to let him out again. I just bolt back to Gryffindor Tower without looking back. James knows. I'm in deep shit now.

I'm willing to bet anything that I'm the only person in this school who's really, truly, eternally in love with Sirius Black.

And it's so unfair I almost want to scream, or cry, because I'm the only one who can't have him.

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SLAM!

That's the door in my face, in case you can't tell. It's not like Moony, either, to slam doors in the faces of handsome Quidditch stars.

I don't care, though. Moony loves Padfoot, and I'm grinning like a fool in the darkness. I can't believe I'm actually not going to tell the boy who's practically my brother his love isn't unrequited.

Lily's rubbed off on me, you see. She's my amazing, beautiful, feisty girlfriend, and she's a complete romantic. I bet that if she knew about this, she'd envision Padfoot finding Moony's love confession on a letter, or whatever, and then he'd run upstairs, kiss Moony, and proclaim his undying love. Just off the top of my head, there. See? That's me: Brilliant.

Shortly after that, they'd end up getting it on. Probably on my bed, or something like that. I'll remember to wash my sheets daily once they get together.

And they will, too. Or my name isn't James Harold Potter.

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After my morning routine, I'm downstairs eating breakfast. I can barely eat, though, because I'm thinking about Moony.

From the corner of my eye, I see Jessica walking up to me. She's my ex-girlfriend, by the way…one of them. I dated Jessica for the longest, though. Probably because she looks so much like Remus, but…a chick. Her eyes are light brown, but they don't even compare to his.

You see, I dated Jessica for her quick wit, and to get my mind of Remus. That part didn't work. Jessica's likeable enough, I guess.

Except for the fact that she's friends with Rachel Thompson. That bitch. How could Rem even THINK she's good enough for him?

"Hey Sirius." Jessica sits down next to me.

"Hi, Jess." I sigh dramatically. Jess and I are still friends, especially when she senses something's wrong with me.

As I fall deeper into the "I Love Moony" hole, she talks to me more and more often. I haven't yet decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

"What's wrong?" See. I told you.

"Nothing, I'm just…" I'm still not telling Jessica about how I love Remus. Only two people know that, Lily and James. James had to be an arrogant prat and go telling his girl about it.

We talk for a while about whether or not I'm all right. In the end Jess reasons that I'm depressed because I failed an essay in Potions, which I did not, and even if I did, I wouldn't care.

My eyes suddenly flick to the door of the great hall, drawn unconsciously to the shaggy, golden brown head of one Remus Lupin. He's running out of the Great Hall, and before I even register it, my feet are pulling me after him.

He runs all the way to Gryffindor Tower, more specifically, to my bed in our dormitory. I don't think he realizes that it's not his own. Still, with my dog-like sense of smell, the chocolaty scent that is Remus will linger on my pillow for days. That'll make my dreams a lot more…interesting. Now I just have to remember to use a silencing charm before bed. Merlin help me if he hears me moaning his name.

"Rem, are you okay?" I stutter.

He jumps. He looks at me. "I'm fine, Sirius."

He doesn't look fine to me, but I don't press him. After what happened with Snivellus and the willow last year, I fear that he still isn't ready to confide in me. It breaks my heart, but I need to regain his trust.

I wonder what he's so upset about. I feel a surge of anger towards whoever caused it, then a surge of sadness. If Remus is sad, I'm sad…it's always been like that, and I think it always will be.

I'm aching to put my arms around Remus. His tragic beauty is nearly overwhelming.

That's it. I love him so much I can barely stand it…it almost hurts. I need to find out if he feels the same way, somehow…

But how?

A/N: I had writer's block, so this isn't my best chapter. I don't even know if this counts as chapter one or just another part of the prologue, because nothing happens. However, now I'm actually staring with the plot! And there will be a lot more dialogue, though I'll still do the first person thing.

Don't worry; what's coming up isn't as cliché as it sounds!

Random Factoid of the day (people liked the last one): Slytherin, in French, is Serpentard. It's kind of funny, in a mildly offensive way, so feel free to make your own joke...

Anyone who doesn't think Sirius and Remus should be together should stop drinkning Drano.