Disclaimer: The puppies aren't mine; I'm just toying with their emotions for a bit…I know, I'm awful...

Everyone, there's a lot of scene switches in this chapter, sometimes the PoV doesn't change…I put some names in there to help you, so stick with me, here…and let me know if it get's confusing, and I'll fix it, in later chapters.

Chapter Two—One of Those Guys…Who Likes Guys?

I think on it all night, but not one of my feeble plans seems good enough for Remus. I need…something special for him, because I love him, more than I think anyone else in the world loves someone.

And I still can't have him.

It's been years, oh brain of mine, and I'm finally cracking. Listen to me, talking to myself…

Point is, every moment he's not in my arms is…like that time when Darling Prongsie "accidentally" hit me in the bollocks with a Bludger. Only a million times worse.

See? Whoever says Sirius Black is not a romantic, poetic type is a liar.

Okay, back to my brilliant plan…

I just forgot…I have none.

Back to brainstorming a brilliant plan…

You see, I know everything there is to know about Remus Lupin. EVERYTHING. So I should be able to mix my superior brainpower with my arsenal of Remus-related knowledge and come up with a brilliant plan to seduce Remus.

That's just it, though. I don't want to seduce him. I certainly don't want a one-night-stand. That would be worse than just being his friend. No, I need to come up with a way to get him to feel about me the way I feel about him.

Maybe if I ask James to think of one…He does, after all, know about my infatuation with Moony. He'd know what to do…

I head downstairs, and there's Prongs, talking to Peter, Lily and…Rachel Thompson…the swamp thing.

"Prongs, come to the kitchen with me," I say, and James stands up, smiling obligingly to Wormtail, Lily and Bitchface. Now he has a crush on…on…her. Well, if she has to sleep with one of us Marauders, thank Merlin it isn't Moony. Or me…

Or James…but then maybe Lily would murder her…there's an upside.

But then she'd dump Prongs…and he may get slightly suicidal if he lost his Lily…

"What do you need, Pads?" he asks.

"Just…stuff." I can tell from the look on his face that he knows what "stuff" translates to.

"Is Remus going with you?" she says (go on…guess). Even his name from the mouth of such a foul creature makes me jump. I just scowl at her and we run out.

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"Merlin, Pads, Moony again?" James asks me as soon as we reach the kitchens. I nod.

I tell him about my brilliant plan...he laughs. I slap him.

"You're not kidding, then?" he asks.

"Prongs, I've never been more serious." he smirks, opening his mouth. "Don't even THINK about it!" It is my policy to hex anyone who makes that pun on my name.

"What if you…like, randomly kissed him?"

"WHAT?!"

"Well, hear me out. Kiss him, and if he kisses back, that's good…and if he's all grossed out…just say you…tripped."

"And landed on his lips?"

"Now you're getting it!"

He's forgetting one thing, though. If I knew Moony was disgusted by me…well, even thinking about it makes me shiver.

"Tell him."

"What's that, Prongs?"

"Tell him…you're…you know…one of those guys…who likes guys?" Such a way with words, this one has. Though, he does have a point. "You're going to have to wait until tomorrow, though. Now he's probably either doing homework or sleeping."

Hmmm…Tell Moony I'm gay…I like it…

Of course, I could have thought of that.

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"Peter…where are they?"

"I don't know, Moony…for the millionth time!"

Sirius and James are gone. Missing. Lost forever.

Well, probably not the last one. I get really nervous when it's raining this hard. Lots of rain means thunder.

That's why, right now, I'm curled up under the sheets of my bed, willing the thunder not to come.

CRACK!

Oh, right…I'm Remus…things don't go right for me.

I'm terrified of thunder…it was raining when I was five…on the night that…and then the thunder…it was horrible.

There's another crash, but this one isn't thunder. It's the door banging open…James and Sirius!

"Wormtail and Moony asleep already?" James' voice asks.

"Looks like it…though; I'm surprised Moony isn't awake, with all this." I peek out from my bed curtains, not enough so that they can see me, but enough so that I can see Sirius jerk his thumb in the direction of the window.

Sirius and James get changed and ready for bed, and the lights in the room flicker out. I think everyone's asleep…and there's no more—

CRACK!

Figures. I grab my pillow tight. I guess I must be whimpering loud enough for one of them to hear me, because I can hear footsteps heading towards my bed.

The curtains around my bed open. "Moony? Rem, are you okay?" Sirius. The only one I really didn't want to see me like this. I'm really too scared to care at this point…did I mention how much thunder terrifies me?

I can't even speak, that's how scared I am. I can barely breathe…I shake my head, not quite realizing that he won't see me because I'm under the sheets.

Suddenly, I feel his arms wrap around me. I don't know what possessed him to do it, but then again, I'm not thinking straight at all. I do know that the shiver that runs down my spine has nothing to do with the thunder.

I bury my head in his chest before I realize what I'm doing…I just want to drown out the thunder. It isn't until I'm fully hit with the smell that's spicy and delicious and just so…Sirius…that I realize what I'm doing.

Strangely enough, I can't bring myself to pull away, no matter how much I try.

Then I feel his hand on my head, in my hair. I blush and grin, which he thankfully can't see. "It's okay; I won't let anything happen to you…trust me, Moony," he whispers, still running his hand gently through my hair. I feel my eyelids get heavy, and within minutes, I fall asleep. The last conscious thought I have is that thunder isn't that bad, really….

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The sunlight hits my eyes, and I force them open. This is odd, because I don't think this is my bed…in fact, isn't that my bed over there?

Then this bed must be…

Crap! What am I doing in Remus' bed? I try to jump out, but I can't. Something heavy is sitting on my chest. I look down, and there's…

Remus. I don't know what to do, because…oh, gods, if only you could see it…he's so beautiful, it almost breaks my heart.

Plus he fell asleep on top of me. His mouth is about ten inches away from mine…how can I find even his morning breath alluring?

Before I can stop myself, I move my lips closer, closing the gap between us. This is as close as I'll get to ever kissing him, right?

Merlin, it's amazing…Remus' lips are softer than anything…

Then it hits me. I pull my lips away from his I just…SHIT! I just practically raped Remus! Well, you know, mouth-rape. I jump out of the bed…anything to get away, to clear my head…

"Pazzfug?" Remus says, yawning. I pray it was my jump that woke him up, and not the kiss… "Whushgoinon?"

I realize I'm standing in a quazi-ninja stance from when I jumped out of his bed. I stand up straighter, and he turns to look at me, rubbing his eyes adorably…his amazing eyes…

"Hi Moony…morning," I say, unable to stop looking at him.

"Morning, Pads," he says, smiling at me. He looks happy. Happy is a good emotion to confess things at, I hope…because I can't turn back now…

I take a deep breath. Have you hear I'm and impulsive person? Now or never, that's my life's motto…

"Rem, I have something to tell you…"

A/N- Got over my writer's block…finally. So many random ideas, though, I crammed them all into this one chapter. Let me know if you want me to put in more dialogue…I keep trying, but it's harder in first person. Oh, and please tell me if you liked it!

Random factoid of the day: Well, I don't have one...but have you ever wondered why the H/Hr ship is called "Pumpkin Pie?" It's like the weiredst ship name...if you know what it signifies, tell me...

Pumpkin effing Pie...well, review!