Chapter 11

Sansa Stark POV

Arya, Myrcella and I are going shopping for Halloween costumes today. Arya thought Gendry should come if they're dressing up together, but that seemed a little weird if it's just going to be us girls. Arya is going to text him and send him costume pictures.

"What are you thinking you want to dress up as?" I ask Myrcella as we're looking around the costume shop.

"Do you think I should go for sexy or pretty?" She asks.

"Maybe a little of both," I say. "But more pretty, you don't want to come on too strong. Just give him a little tease." Arya looks uncomfortable.

"So glad I don't have to worry about this," she says. "This seems way too stressful."

"You may have to worry about it soon," I say. "I have a hard time believing Gendry just wants to be friends."

"He definitely wants more," Myrcella says. "No guy that just wants to be friends would hang out with you this much or ask you to a dance."

"He didn't ask me," Arya says. "It wasn't like that. He said he would go if I was going and didn't want to feel awkward tagging along with you guys."

"Arya," I say, chuckling. "I know you're smart, you can't actually believe that."

"We'll have to see what happens at the party," Arya says. "I'm not convinced."

"Do you like him?" Myrcella asks her. I hope their starting to feel more comfortable together.

"Maybe," she says. "I wouldn't turn him down, I'll say that."

Gendry already has a pirate costume, so Arya found a female version to get. I had to roll my eyes that she got the version with pants rather than the dress, but it makes sense for her.

Myrcella got this mermaid-like dress that she looks really pretty in, and it shows just the right amount of cleavage to be tasteful. I got a vampire dress, I'm going to put fake blood down my chin. I think it'll look really cool.

We're getting a snack after shopping, and Myrcella got one too. That's good, it seemed like she was having a hard time with food again recently.

"What alcohol is Gendry bringing to the party?" I ask Arya while we're eating.

"I don't know," she says. "You think I knew what to tell him to bring?"

"Tell him to get cheap vodka and margarita stuff at least," I say. "He'll probably know what's good to get if he has a fake."

"You guys got me nervous now," Arya says. "I really didn't think he likes me, but what if he tries something?"

Myrcella and I chuckle. "I could never see him making the first move," Myrcella says. "If anything, he'll just imply that he likes you and wait for you to do something."

"Yeah," I say. "Plus, even if he did try something, he knows you'd beat him up if he went too far. He's also not that type of guy, like Myrcella said."

Arya might deny it, but I can tell she still likes him. He looks even better than he did a couple years ago, and I know her crush on him didn't just disappear.

I'm actually really excited for this party. I thought I'd be more nervous, but I'm sure Joffrey will understand that I don't want to have sex right now. If he doesn't, I can handle myself. Plus, there will be other people there to defend me. I'm not letting myself get into another situation like I was with Ramsay. Jon was right, I need to stand up for myself no matter what.

Myrcella Baratheon POV

I'm so nervous for the Halloween party, I want to talk to Podrick more and I really want him to like me. Sansa and I are hanging out in her room after shopping since I still had some time to hang out, Arya had to get ready for fencing.

"Do you think Podrick will like me?" I ask Sansa.

"If he doesn't, he's a fool," she says. "I'm sure he will. Gendry is friends with him, he seems like a sweet guy."

"Thanks," I say. "I'm just worried he'll think I'm fat."

"You're not," Sansa says. "And trust me, I've learned that guys don't think about that kind of thing as much as we think."

There's a pause, I want to open up to her but I'm still nervous about doing that. "I've just been struggling a lot," I say. "I've been restricting a little again."

"Have you lost weight?" She asks me.

"I don't think so, but I can't say for sure," I say. "My dad hid the scales, my therapist said that's what he should do."

"Yeah, my parents did the same thing," Sansa says. "They found out where I hid the one in my room."

"I just still think I'm fat," I say. "I see a therapist online, but I'm not sure it's helping."

"You're skinnier than me at this point," Sansa says to me. "Do you think I'm fat?"

"No," I say. "I don't think that at all."

"Then why do you think you're fat?"

"Because I'll never be skinny enough," I say. "Even right before I was hospitalized I thought I could lose more weight."

"Do you want to go back to that?" Sansa asks me. "It sounds like you were miserable, I know I was and I didn't even realize it."

"Sometimes I miss it," I say. "It felt good when people noticed how skinny I was, it felt like my hard work was getting recognized."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," she says. "If I miss it, I try to push that thought out. I definitely don't ever want to go back to treatment."

"Yeah, it was awful," I say. "But at least I met you there. I feel like that was the only positive."

She smiles at me. I'm really glad I have Sansa, I feel like I definitely would've relapsed at this point if I didn't. She's really helped distract me from everything, and I feel like Joffrey even treats me better now that Sansa and I are friends and he's dating her.

Sansa's smart, and I hope she can eventually see Joffrey for who he really is. I really don't want her to have another toxic relationship like she did before, that one sounded really bad. Either way, I can't lose her as a friend so I have to support her regardless. It's a tough situation to be in because I want to give her advice without pushing her away, it seems like she does that when people try to help her in ways she didn't ask for.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

Jaime and Bronn are hanging out in our apartment while Cersei is in class, even though Jaime is still mad at him. I think he's also just aware that Cersei will always do what she wants whether Bronn is there to help her or not.

"I still can't believe you're giving Cersei drugs," Jaime says to Bronn. "You know how bad that is for her and how much it upsets me."

"We've been over this," Bronn says. "Better she get the right thing from me than some mystery pill from someone else."

I'm pretending to be reading, but I can't really focus with them talking. I'm trying not to get too much into this conversation, but I agree with Bronn more. Not him giving Cersei the pills, but him acknowledging that someone else could give her something way more dangerous.

"I still don't know why you're doing it," Jaime says. "She had a drinking problem, she doesn't need to add this to it."

"Does she really even have a drinking problem?" Bronn asks. "I'd be stressed too if I had to deal with you guys being on me all the time."

"Yes, she does," I chime in. I can't stay silent much longer. "I've come home and she's passed out on the couch with beer spilled everywhere, almost unconscious from the pills that you gave her."

"That's not just about drinking," Bronn says. "Does she have an issue with drinking on its own?"

"Yes!" I yell.

"I've come home and she's passed out on the ground, covered in her own vomit," Jaime says. "She doesn't take care of herself anymore, and she can't stop drinking when she starts."

There's a pause, I can tell Bronn is thinking about what we've said.

"I still think you guys might be overreacting," Bronn says. "Everyone parties in college. Plus, even if you are right, she can make her own decisions."

"Do you have some weird motive?" Jaime asks him. "I can't think of a reason you'd blatantly go against what I'm telling you is best for Cersei. I thought you cared about both of us as a friend."

"I do," Bronn says. There's a pause. "Cersei's just… persuasive."

Jaime and I make eye contact. "Oh, God," Jaime says, burying his face in his hands. "Did you hook up with her?" I can tell he's afraid to hear the answer.

"No," Bronn says. "Definitely not."

"But you want to." Jaime says it as more of a fact than a question.

"You know I'm attracted to her," Bronn says. "I've told you that before."

There's another pause. "Bronn," Jaime says. "Are you hoping she'll be down to hook up with you if you keep giving her drugs?"

Bronn just looks at Jaime. "I wouldn't turn it down," he says. "But only if she wanted to."

"Bronn!" Jaime yells. "You promised me you wouldn't!"

"If Cersei wanted to, you can't exactly stop her," Bronn says. "Unless you tell everyone the truth about you two."

There's a really uncomfortable silence, you could hear a pin drop. Jaime and Bronn are just staring at each other, neither knows what to say at this point. I can't believe he said that.

"Get out," Jaime says. Bronn packs up his stuff and leaves. Jaime turns to me once he's out the door. "Dany, I have no idea what he's talking about. He clearly just wants to get under my skin in any way he can."

"I'm not asking," I say, getting up. "Or judging, you don't have to worry about me."

I get up and go into mine and Cersei's room, shutting the door. I wish Bronn would just respect Jaime's wishes and stop giving Cersei drugs, but now his motives are very clear. I can't believe he's giving her drugs in hopes that maybe she'll want to hook up with him eventually, that's such a dickhead thing to do. He clearly doesn't care about her.

It still upsets me that Cersei and Jaime still push the idea that I don't know about them when I grew up with them. Cersei told me when she lost her virginity. She didn't say it was with Jaime, but by then I knew it was. Maybe things would be easier on them if they just told the truth. It would be embarassing, but it would make things a lot less stressful.