Alrighty then…where, oh where did we leave off? Oh, yes! We have Grissom and Sara messing with the rest of the 'group' in Sara's apartment over Thanksgiving dinner. Catherine is getting pissed because she doesn't know what the hell is going on and normally she is the first to know. She is also pining over Warrick who is at this little shindig without out wifey because…well, because I didn't want her to be there. Nick is there with beer and his damn sexy good looks (tell me George Eads is not just damn fine!). Greg (also not ugly) is there with more alcohol and some type of food item that Papa Olaf taught him to make. Back to the story…
"And just what are you two whispering about down there?" Grissom asked.
Catherine and Warrick were too busy talking to pay attention to Grissom though.
"What do you mean 'you don't know'? You're Catherine! That means you know everything!"
"Normally I do, Warrick, but this is just…just screwed!"
"Uh, hello? Are you two going to be joining us anytime?" Grissom tried again.
"What, Gil?!" Catherine snapped.
"I was just wondering if we could join the conversation perhaps. Sorry to have interrupted, Catherine," Grissom said with a smart grin.
"Sorry, Gil. We were just talking about…"
"Tina," Warrick supplied.
"Yeah, we were talking about Tina." Catherine scowled at the mention of her name.
"Great, well how is she doing, Warrick?" Sara chimed in.
"Well, like I said earlier-"
Catherine cut in, "Subject change! How about we all talk about something that we all care about?" Ignoring the looks that she got from everyone, she continued, "Greg, what exactly are we putting in our mouths when we eat…whatever the hell it is that you brought?"
With that being the unanimous question from around the table, Greg replied, "Well, I really don't think that Papa Olaf would appreciate it too much if I were to give out that kind of delicate family information."
"Greg, what if one of us is allergic to something in…whatever it is?" Grissom asked.
"Grissom, you aren't even eating any of it." Greg pointed out.
Grissom turned to Sara who had some of…whatever the hell it was, on her plate. "Sara, do you mind?"
"Oh, not at all Griss!" She smiled and got a forkful of…it. She held…it out to him over a cupped hand. The others expected him to take the fork from her, but hell no. She fed…it to him! Around the table four jaws dropped as Sara withdrew her fork tantalizingly from his mouth with a grin on her face and as Grissom chewed with a grin of the same flirtatious magnitude on his face.
"Thank you, Sara. That is pretty good," he smiled at her. "I think I'll go get some for my self." He stood up to leave.
"I'll come with. I need to get some more since you just ate half of mine." She winked at him and they left the room.
"What the HELL was that?!?" Greg said first. "She…did…she winked at him!"
"I know, Greg, I know" Nick patted him on the back. "So much for your tunnel of love."
"Nick, this is not the time for joking! What the hell is going on here?" Warrick turned to Catherine.
"Like I already said, Warrick, I don't know! By and large I am the first to know anything, especially when it comes to relationships, but I know nothing about this. I know that they both like each other but, hell, who doesn't. It's only the most obvious thing in the whole damn lab!"
"Second most obvious, Catherine," Greg said as he looked between her and Warrick.
"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean, Greg?" she asked as she gave him the evil eye.
"Nothing, that meant nothing. Just ignore me," he laughed nervously.
"Anyway," Catherine started again. "We seriously need to figure out what the hell is going on here. There has to be something going on between those two. Good Lord they've been in that kitchen now for, like, six minutes. It doesn't take that long to load up on…whatever the hell that stuff is. Greg, does that stuff even have a name?"
"Yeah. It's called-"
"Whatever, man," Nick cut in. "Catherine, what are we going to do, just outright ask Grissom? If that didn't work on Sara, it sure as hell ain't gonna work on Captain Stoic in there."
"Cath, Nicky's right. It's damn obvious that something funky is goin down and there is no way they're gonna tell us so we need to play back at their whack ass game." Warrick chimed in.
'That's my man. All smart and stuff.'
"Cath?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just don't act bothered by whatever it is that they do. Ignore it, no matter how messed up it is," she said.
"What if they, like, start making out in front of us or something? Are you telling me that you guys are going to sit here and act unaffected by a sight like that?" Greg pretended to gag.
"Ew, Greg, seriously," Nick joined in the fake gag.
"Alright, boys, enough. We at least know them better than that."
"I hope," Warrick added.
"Are they really going out?"
"I don't know, Greg. Sara's been after him since she got here. They have a pretty long history together, no matter how rocky at times. I can tell when he talks about her that he really, really cares about her, you know. Almost like he loves her," Catherine said.
"Yeah and I have a kitten that poops rainbows. Grissom doesn't love people- physically impossible," Greg added with a scoff.
Nick punched Greg and agreed with Catherine. Warrick chimed in, "Look, I personally find it a little creepy, but hey, to each their own right? If it keeps Grissom off my ass-"
"And on Sara's," Greg cut in laughing until Nick punched him again.
"Anyway, Greg, if it keeps him off my case and she is happy, and not all depressed like she used to be, then more power to 'em. Besides, anything that pisses off Ecklie, and you know this will, pretty much makes my day."
"Mine too," Catherine said looking at her watch. "Twelve minutes for a plateful of goop?"
"A kitten that poops rainbows…how much do you think that would be worth?" Greg asked.
--
"You think we've been gone long enough?" Grissom asked.
"Well, you know Catherine is in there timing us all while thinking of Warrick. Nick has probably hit Greg at least three times by now. Greg has had at least one impure thought about me…wait, how long have we been gone?"
"Twelve, going on thirteen minutes," he said, looking at the clock on her wall.
"Make that two impure thought about me. Dirty enough to make the devil blush you know," she laughed.
"And how do you know this?"
"Oh, my God, Gil! He told me one!" she blushed.
"Really?"
"You interested?"
"My interest has been peaked by the blushing devil, yes."
She leaned over to whisper into his ear. Even having been together for as long as they had been, this was still embarrassing to say aloud. Had someone else been in the room though, they would have heard small bits about banana, strawberry and mango flavored lubes, chocolate sprinkles, rubber ducks, a completely hairless Greg, candles, whips, a fuzzy steering wheel cover, a blow up sheep, and a gallon of Captain Morgan. Grissom's face was growing in shock and at the mention of some ideas, a little consideration, as Sara continued her tale of complete filth as had been told by potty-mouth Greg. There were mentionings of a baby chicken, syrup (maple and chocolate, of course) handcuffs, false teeth, a nativity scene, and an inner tube as well.
"Oh…my…God…"
"I know," she sighed. "I know."
"When the hell did he tell you this?" Grissom asked in almost terror.
"Um, yesterday actually."
His eyes went wide and his mouth opened a little.
"What, Gil?"
"I…seriously?"
"Yeah," she said slowly. "I hear at least one tale of horror a week since I've been here."
"Oh, that kid is on the next five decomps!" he laughed as he gave her a quick kiss and headed back out to the dining room followed shortly by Sara.
"Nice of you two to join us again," Catherine said with a smirk.
"I dropped my plate. Grissom was just helping me," Sara explained.
"Yeah," Greg said in a non-believing voice.
"So, what did you kids talk about while we were gone? Anyone find out what was in Greg's…whatever the hell it is?" Grissom asks.
"Grissom, there is nothing in there that is going to kill any of you," Greg said.
"How do you know, Greg?" Nick asked. Catherine probably would have been the first to ask, but she was a little busy staring at the man candy sitting next to her.
"I may have accidentally checked out some personnel files."
"How might one accidentally check out a file, Greg?" Grissom asked.
"Very easily. But on to another subject…Nick, how are you and Mandy doing?"
"Great. Catherine, any new man in your life yet?"
Catherine wasn't paying attention to Nick. How could she be, Warrick was…well, he wasn't doing anything but sitting there, but really, that's all he had to do for her.
"Catherine?"
She snapped out of it. "Huh?"
"You okay?"
"Uh, yeah. I think the beer is getting to me. I'm fine though. What did you say was in this stuff, Greg?"
"Papa Olaf wouldn't want me to tell anyone. It's a family thing, you know, a secret."
Grissom smiled, "Ah, yes, Greg. A secret. I know a lot about secrets."
Greg just looked at him with a confused look on his face while the others started up their own conversations.
"Lube, sprinkles, and a nativity scene, Greg?"
Greg looked at Sara in sheer terror as she busted out in laughter at his discomfort. Sara's laughter got everyone's attention drawn to herself, Grissom and Greg.
"What's so funny down there?" Warrick asked.
"Nothing!" Greg answered quickly. "Nothing is so funny down here!" he looked at Sara and Grissom with pleading eyes.
"Nothing is funny. I was just thinking of something from a couple of weeks ago. Don't worry about it, guys. Sorry." Sara slowly calmed down.
Everyone went back to their conversations and eating. Greg couldn't make eye contact with Grissom for fear of, well, life in general. He couldn't look at make eye contact with Sara for fear of the thought about the lube, sprinkles and nativity scene coming back to him. Eventually Catherine stopped talking to Nick and snickered.
"Um, Sara…you got a little…" she said and motioned at the corner of her mouth as if she were wiping something off.
Sara quickly caught on and wiped at the corner of her mouth. "Did I get it?" she asked.
"No, dear. Here, I'll do it," Grissom cut in and he did. He took his thumb and wiped off some of Greg's…whatever the hell it is. But…did he wipe it on a napkin? Hell no, Grissom licked it off and he and Sara went right back to eating like it was nothing out of the ordinary.
No one else moved. What the hell had just happened? Did that seriously just happen? Did Gil Grissom just wipe food from Sara Sidle's mouth with his finger and lick it off? That did just happen? Okay, I thought perhaps it was just me hallucinating or something.
That was it. Yes, Catherine had said to act unaffected by whatever they did but come on!
"Excuse me. You two want to tell us just what in the hell is going on here?!" she nearly yelled.
Sara and Grissom casually looked up from their plates and placed their best confused looks on.
"Don't play that confused crap on us! We know better than that. What is the deal with you? We have been watching you all night!"
Sara was having too much fun with diner. She didn't want it to be over yet. Better change the subject then.
She cut in with "So, Catherine, what's this I hear about you screwing Warrick?"
The next shall be the last! I hope you liked this one!
thegreatbluespoon