Leave

Okay guys I am working on Chapter 13 of Pleasant Surprises as we speak but as always thoughts of future stories plague my head and I heard this song from Matchbox 20 – Leave – and suddenly I knew that I had to write a short today and post it.

Setting is in 2009 and Mark and Meredith are together, happily married...so yes this is another Mer/Mark story. What can I say? They consume me at this point. They are happy and very much in love. Derek is observing them and thoughts, regret and loss is the only thing that he can feel at this point, that is until Meredith approaches him and has a heart to heart with him.

Derek walked into Joe's and cringed inwardly. There they were on the dance floor, dancing so closely together that they couldn't fit a needle in between the two of them. He wondered when it was going to stop hurting – seeing Meredith with Mark and not with him. He knew they were married. He had actually seen their church wedding ceremony – even though they didn't see him. He had never seen Meredith more beautiful than that day and he had never seen Mark happier or giddier than when he saw her walk down that aisle and when he muttered his vows to her, pledging his life, his love and his fidelity to her with no preambles.

He never thought that walking away from her a few years ago would bring what was staring him in the face. Derek thought that she would be happy with Finn and he had been the better person for giving her what she so desperately needed: happiness and peace. But never in a million years did he imagine that she had let Finn go right before he walked away. Meredith never did tell him about that. She had been so hurt and so consumed by anger that she didn't want him to know that she had chosen him and since he had no knowledge of that fact; he went on being polite to her and cordial but it never escalated to another level and she never pursued it either. She was done with him, his wishy-washiness and his insecurities. Everything that was happening to him today he had brought on himself, it was just so hard to accept the fact that he had lost her because he wanted to be the better man and give her happiness and now he was married to the one guy that crippled him, not once but twice.

He sat down on a bar stool and smiled at Joe. "Give me a shot Joe." He exclaimed rubbing his face with his hand and putting his elbow on the counter top. "Thanks." He replied as he downed the shot. "I needed that."

"You haven't gotten over her have you?" Joe asked as his eyes went to Mark and Meredith on the dance floor smiling at each other and oblivious to anyone else in the room. It had been a tough road for those two but now they were solid. It was an unfortunate situation for Dr. Shepherd but he had never seen Meredith happier than when she was with Dr. Sloane. That man made her glow and for that he would like him and never treat him with disrespect.

"No." he admitted freely. "But that seems to not make a difference. "Do you know that I have lost the two women that I have loved most in the world to that man." He said, bitterly. "I wanted to kill him when he slept with Addison but I knew that it had been more than a one-night stand but less than love – at least for him -- and for some reason that made it a little bit better. I know it makes me a terrible person but so be it. But with Meredith…" he stated. "Well look at them. They are in love and I have never seen Mark so…" What was the word he was looking for? "So…"

"Whipped?" Joe offered, shrugging his shoulders and raising his eyebrows. He called them like he saw them and Dr. Sloane was more than whipped, he was in love but he wasn't going to tell Dr. Shepherd that.

Derek smiled in spite of the situation and affirmed: "Yeah you can say that." He agreed. It was true. Mark had always been a ladies man. He was the one that always got the most beautiful girl as they were growing up; he was the one that the ladies chased after, pined over and made a fool of themselves. Derek had always been lucky but he was considered the nice guy, the one that finished last -- until Addison came along. She had fallen in love with him and married him. Well that had not gone according to plan and now neither did this! It was unbelievable but apparently he was destined to be second best in any woman's heart next to Mark.

In that same moment – oblivious to Derek's thoughts -- Meredith turned towards the bar and felt a twinge of guilt; if only for a second. She was so happy at this moment and she wanted everyone to be happy. She had been with Mark for the past two years and she had never in her life experienced a love so pure, so overwhelming, so scary; yet so beautiful. Mark truly was everything to her. She had no desire to seek anyone else; Mark was it for her. "I love you." She whispered into his ear. She was so glad that they were married. Waking up to him every morning for the rest of her life made her smile with giddiness every day.

Mark looked down at her and inched her closer to him. "I love you too." He said, and smiled as her eyes glowed up at him. "So much." He confirmed. Marriage was not so bad; actually, it was the best thing next to…well, nothing really. Mark – the eternal bachelor – had decided to do the unthinkable, get married. He had not hesitated the day he asked Meredith to marry him. He still remembered it. He had gotten up from bed in the morning, took a shower and as he came out he saw her laying naked on his bed, sound asleep; so peaceful and trusting in him that she was splayed all over her side no reservations. He saw her and it dawned on him, he wanted to propose to her. He had kissed her softly on the lips, told her he had an early surgery, and made his way to Tiffany's. He had bought her an engagement ring after seeing about 50. He knew it was the one as soon as he had seen it. It reminded him of her and he could see her finger in his mind with that ring on.

Meredith put slight pressure on the back of his neck, bringing him back to reality. "Derek is here. Do you want to go?" she asked him. She was so sick and tired of this game that the three of them were playing. They all felt guilt but no one actually voiced it out loud. Her feelings for Derek were non-existent. She did want him in her life but only because she knew that Mark wanted him in his. That was the extent of it. Mark would welcome Derek's friendship back with open arms

Mark turned towards the bar and saw him. He still felt some guilt as to what had happened between the three of them. He had taken from under him the woman that he loved but he couldn't feel guilty about it for long. His betrayal had given him the woman that he could truly not live without. "Lets try to talk to him." He told her. "If he wants us gone then we're gone but we have to try honey, don't you think?"

"He talks to you at the hospital." She pointed out as they still swayed to the music. "I think eventually he will get past this. I know that you miss him honey." She said, soothingly. "I know that it's partly my fault that he is not talking to you yet."

"It's not your fault." He said, as he kissed her lightly. "Even if that were true I still would choose you over him. I have lived without Derek, I can't live without you – you got under my skin, you took over my heart and there is no room for anyone else but you." He said, truthfully.

Derek turned to look at them once more and felt a stirring in his heart. They were happy, truly happy.

It's amazing
how you make your face just like a wall
how you take your heart and turn it off
how I turn my head and lose it all

He knew that they had gotten close and fallen in love because of him and his lack of affection towards her. It wasn't that he had not loved her it was that he had been tainted and was damaged goods and he didn't know how to deal with that. It was that he had been burned and he didn't want to go through that again, even if at that time he didn't recognize it.

"Let me talk to him." Meredith told Mark as she turned to look at Derek one more time. "Go to the back, to the bathroom, wherever. Just give me about ten minutes. He is cordial to me but I need him to let go of me so he can be happy and maybe if we talk he will be." She said, as she saw Mark nod his head and kiss her forehead lightly.

"Good luck." He said, as he squeezed her hand in reassurance. He had no doubt of her love for him so her talking to Derek did not faze him in the least.

Derek was too into his own thoughts to see Meredith approach him.

It's unnerving
how just one move puts me by myself
there you go just trusting someone else
now I know I put us both through hell

"Hey." She said, trying to get Derek's attention. "Is this seat taken?" she pointed to the chair next to him.

He turned back to see if Mark was there and when he didn't see him, Derek turned to her and asked: "Where is your husband?"

"He stepped out for a bit but I was wondering if you had a few moments to spare." Meredith replied. She knew it was time that they all sat down and tried to figure this out because even though her husband tried to spare her feelings she knew that deep inside he still missed Derek.

I'm not saying
there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying
we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

"What can I do for you?" Derek asked, noncommittally. Seriously. What could they possibly talk about? He just wanted to stay as far away as possible from them but at the same time he was caught between missing Mark and even missing her. He didn't know if they would ever be able to be friends but for now he could at least listen to what she had to say.

"I want us to talk Derek." She said, trying to keep her emotions in check. This was the main problem between her in Derek those many years ago…they never did talk after he had left her hanging. She had come to terms with that many years ago and had managed to move on with Mark. Derek had no clue how grateful she was of his action. She had met the true love of her life and she had never been happier. She truly wished that he would find happiness as well.

But if that's how it's gonna leave
straight out from underneath
then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out

"What do you want to talk about?"

"How you and Mark can get back to being friends. How you can manage to let go of all your anger and move on. How you can be happy again." Meredith stated, without any preamble. "My husband misses you and quite frankly I want to see him completely happy."

"Are you shitting me?" Derek questioned, surprised. "After everything that he has put me through you want me to what, just forgive him? Let bygones be bygones?"

It's aggravating
how you threw me on
and you tore me out
how your good intentions turn to doubt
the way you needed time to sort it out

"I understand you hate him because of what he did to you and Addison but Derek that was a long time ago and they both have paid for it. You still talk to Addison, hell even Mark and I talk to Addison. You forgave her, why can't you forgive him?"

"Because he took you away from me as well."

"No Derek, he didn't."

"Yes, he did."

"No. He didn't. You walked away from me leaving me to Finn. Things with Finn were already done but you didn't want to hear me or what I had to say. I can't help what happened between Mark and I but I didn't go out with him or sleep with him while I was dating or while I was with you. You need to put things in perspective Derek. You want to hate him for Addison go head; you don't get to not forgive him for me. Because they way I see it we were through." Meredith finalized, more serious than she had ever been.

Tell me is that how it's going to end
when you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
and the one you're leaving out

"You're right." Derek finally said. "I have been blaming him for you and it was me all along." He stated finally able to admit it even to himself. "It was me that pushed you away from me and into his arms."

Meredith chose to not confirm or deny his thoughts, instead she replied: "Derek he loves you. He is so sorry about Addison not because he hurt her – that has something to do with it – but mostly because he lost you: his brother, his confidante. Do you know that not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me a story about you two?" she said, as she smiled at Derek. "There are times that he has me on the floor, laughing so hard. I have heard them all I think…twice over. He misses you Derek and if I had to venture out a guess, I would have to say that you miss him as much. How could you not?" Meredith stated.

"I was the slighted one so it's easier for me to hold on to the anger." He clarified. "But I have forgiven him for Addison. I forgave him years ago. I just can't believe that it's been so many years that I have been holding on to this anger. I think it has consumed me." Derek pointed out.

"It has." She said, gently putting her hand on his arm. "Forgive him Derek. It's time." She finalized as she got up from the bar stool and made her way to the back of the bar. She knew that Mark would be anxious to know what the conversation had been and she did not want to leave him waiting more than he had to.

She spotted him playing a game of pool with Alex and George. "Hey I didn't know you guys would be here."

"Well we needed a place to unwind and here we are." Alex said. "So we invited your hubby to a game of pool. I slaughtered George so now I'm trying to slaughter your husband but he's a lot better than George." Alex said, as he laughed.

"Everything okay?" he asked, as he took his shot and sunk the ball in. He would not let the guys know that he was nervous but he knew that Meredith knew exactly how he felt. What had they talked about?

"Yeah." Meredith stated. "Do you mind if we get out of here sweetheart? I really am tired. George can take over."

"Sure." He replied. Thank God for her and the two of them being in sync. "Don't lose my game O'Malley." He said, as he smiled and handed him the pool stick. "Oh what am I talking about? I'll give you some classes soon. It's not fair that you lose all the time." He joked and approached Meredith and grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Hey I don't lose all the time." George defended. "Just most of the time." He mumbled.

At that they all laughed and Meredith leaned over and kissed Mark on the cheek. "He's almost ready to forgive you I think. I just hope that you guys can be friends again."

"I hope so too." He responded as his hand encircled her waist and started walking towards the door.

Derek stopped them almost as they were at the door. Both Mark and Derek stared at each other without talking. Meredith wanted to say something but she just stood next to Mark, wishing that someone would take the first step and talk. It was Derek. He held out his hand to Mark and stated: "You can thank your wife for making me see the light. She is an extraordinary woman and right on the ball. We should let bygones be bygones. Lets have a drink later on in the week."

For the first time in years Mark felt hope that Derek and him could come to some type of resolution and their friendship could start over. He knew that it would not be perfect by any means and that they both had to build trust again but this was a definitely a good start.

"You're on." He said, as they both smiled at each other.

Meredith and him walked out the door and as soon as the door shut behind them, Mark picked her in his arms and twirled her around. "You are amazing, absolutely magnificent! What did you tell him?" he said, as he hugged her to him, as tight as he could.

"Honestly?" she replied as she laughed at Mark not letting her out of his embrace. "I told him to get over himself and to place blame where blame lay – on the both of you and even me. It wasn't fair honey that he only blamed you. Besides, I told him that you did not steal me away; he gave me up. I think he chose to believe that you were the culprit to be able to sleep at night."

"Wow." Mark said, impressed.

"I love you Mark. I want you to be happy and I know that you would not be completely happy until thing with Derek is rectified." She said, as she leaned in and he lowered his head to kiss her.

"I love you Mrs. Sloane." He uttered reverently. "I really meant it when I said I could live without him but not without you."

"I love you Mr. Sloane." She said back as she kissed him one more time and linked her arm through his. "Lets go home."

FIN