This one's based off actual events! Thanks to my dear chum, Brittany for choosing the wrong moment to eat a cookie. Oh, happy days. Now, the hugging/choking front seemed to create some confussion. Let me just put it this way, for furture conversations like that, it's MUSH. May I direct you back to "He choked to death! Alone! And he was really, really OLD. Like, so old that he could have DIED from OLD AGE! ...Oh... that's right." And, because I know there are still some of you out there who are flabbergasted as hell, I explained it in the note.

Also, I thank you, dear readers and reviewers. Your lack of lives entertains me so! Oh, don't deny it, you know you don't have lives! (Mind you, I say this in a comical, ironicosity-filled voice because, hey, I don't have a life either!) Though I do find it funny that an update to this series is able to turn some of your days from complete crap to fabbity fab fab. Glad to be of assistance! Enjoy!

Newsie Notes

Math

Racetrack is in bold.

Hawkeye is in italics.

Mush is underlined.

Jeeze, Mrs. Rogers is in a bad mood today.

Oh man, I know!

RACETRACK! YOU SURVIVED YOUR SILENT CHOKING EXPERIENCE!

Er… pardon?


What silent choking experience?

Back in history, when Hawkeye strangled you!

…With her arms?

Hey, that's the same thing Blink said! But I knew better, I explained that you were choking, so you were obviously being strangled by our dear pal (even if she is a murderous, raving psycho), Hawkeye.

I was hugging him…

And I was laughing.

Nonsense! What was there to laugh about?

Because we fight over really stupid things, and to some twisted souls (like us), it's funny.

Even if you were being a jerk.

It's called sarcasm, woman!

Don't start with me, Mr. Italy!

Bring it on, Eye-of-Bird!

Hey, hey, hey, my children. Let's silence the violence and release the peace, okay?

…

…

Whoa, that was pretty deep. …Sweet!

Speaking of sweet, does anyone (meaning Hawkeye) have food to give me?

What do I look like, a walking grocery store?!

Well, you do tend to have an awfully large amount of food with you.

That wasn't directed at you, Wise Woman of the Forest.

Excuse me, but it's actually "Wise Woman of the WOODS."

And it isn't my fault if my mother over-packs my lunch. She's convinced that I'll starve if I don't eat something every hour.

I'll starve if I don't eat something NOW!

It's last block—the day's almost over! Can't you wait?


No!

Hawk, why aren't you the size of Texas?

Beg pardon?

If you're eating all that food, shouldn't you be very… overweight?

Nah, Race is the one who eats it all.

Hawkeye searched her bag, until she came across a bag of Chips Ahoy. She pulled out a cookie and handed it to Racetrack, who gladly took it.

Ain't that right, porky?

Hey!

Unfortunately, before Racetrack could respond (or eat), Mrs. Rogers called on him to answer the problem she had written across the board.

Race glanced from his cookie to Mrs. Rogers to Hawkeye to Mush, then back to his cookie.

Mush leaned over his desk to Race and whispered something in his ear, receiving a slightly disapproving look from Hawkeye.

Mrs. Rogers opened her mouth to comment, but as she did, Race happily shoved his snack into his mouth, now unable to answer the question without showering his desk with crumbs (and spit).

Mrs. Roger's scowled, "That was a poorly timed cookie, Anthony."

Racetrack shrugged and said something along the lines of, "Nmmf rrmm nrff," as she called on another student (a rather reluctant looking Itey) to answer the question.

How's that cookie taste, bud?

Up yours.

Thanks, chum. Mush, what'd you tell the little moron?

I said to him, I says, "Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix."

…-head desk-

Uh-huh. Can I have another cookie?

…