Chapter 33

That night, Eliena slept alone. For some reason, it didn't feel right to have Leo back in the palace and to have Neal in her bed. If she didn't know the premise was ridiculous, she might've thought that it was because she still loved Leo.

At around midnight, someone knocked on her door. Eliena groaned softly and slipped on her dressing robe. She went to the door and opened it a crack. "Who is it?" she whispered. The person held their candle up to their face.

Leo.

Eliena felt her heart skip several beats, but she scolded herself for it. "What do you want?" she demanded quietly, leaning on the door.

"To apologize," Leo replied. Eliena rolled her eyes.

"Well, you can't stand in the hall I suppose." She opened the door wider—only because she had manners, she told herself—and let him in. Once the door was shut, Eliena lit the room with the brilliant violet fire of her Gift. Leo blew out his candle. Eliena could see that Leo wore breeches and a shirt, but both were wrinkled. It was almost as if he'd been sleeping in them. Leo couldn't help but admire the way Eliena looked. It was midnight, and her black curls were mussed from sleep, but the violet dressing robe she clutched around her body showed the graceful curves that so many men admired—but few got to see up close. She pulled her robe tighter. "Get to it, Leo, I'm exhausted."

"I'm sorry I got so mad at you, Eliena," Leo said. "I had no right, and I'm sure it was a mistake."

"If this is a ploy to get me back, Leo, it isn't going to work," Eli informed him. "Because, you see, I love Neal—" Leo shut her up by pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss. Eliena's palms were on his chest and she struggled to push him away, but Leo was stronger than she was. Finally, she managed to rip her mouth from his and slap Leo across the face.

"Ow! What was that for?" Leo asked, holding his face where she'd slapped him.

"You can't just go around kissing girls like that!" Eliena hissed. "I'm a proper woman—" Leo snorted.

"Since when do proper women sleep with men when another is courting them?" he wanted to know. Eliena narrowed her eyes.

"That was a mistake," she said, "and I apologized for it."

"Come on, Eliena." Leo's eyes were serious as they held hers. "You can't honestly tell me that you don't still love me." Eliena searched his hazel eyes, biting her lip. "If you honestly tell me that you don't love me anymore, I'll find someone else. I'll find someone who makes me feel the way you do…eventually. You can't tell me that you've really changed your affections that quickly." (AN- yes, I know, that sounded quite like that scene in "Another Chance" with Alanna and George.)

"I—I—" Eliena dropped her head. When she brought it back up, her eyes were unreadable. Leo kissed her again. This time, Eliena barely struggled. Instead, she transferred her push to a pull, bringing his face down to hers. He helped her jump, so she could wrap her legs around his waist. She felt his brown hair in between her fingers and smiled to herself. No matter what she told herself, Neal was no match for Leo when he kissed her. Eliena pulled back. "Leo…" she murmured. He nuzzled her neck.

"Eliena. My Eliena." Eliena smiled.

"Really?" she asked. He looked at her.

"Forever and ever," he swore. Eliena kissed him deeply as he lowered her to the ground. He broke their kiss and searched her eyes. In response to his silent question, Eliena's dressing robe seemed to fall off her shoulders into a puddle of silk.

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The next morning, Eliena woke with Leo's body wrapped around her. She smiled and rolled over, stroking his jaw line. He was so handsome. Then her heart caught. Neal. She chewed her lip. She couldn't hurt Neal again. He'd all but told her how broken up he'd been after the first time she'd broken his heart. Could she break Neal's heart again?

But could she break Leo's? Leo, who she'd known her whole life. She couldn't live without him. Whether he was her husband or her friend, she needed him like she needed air. She couldn't be happy with Leo as just one of the many knights dutifully serving her. Leo loved her, and he always would. No one could replace her in his heart—or him in hers.

Eliena rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. It didn't, of course, but she wished it did. There was only one person she could talk to. Her mother would accuse her of being foolish. Alanna the Lioness hated flirts almost as much as she hated Roger of Conté. She couldn't talk to her father, because he would either get very angry with her, or be gentle and tell her, "Whatever you want, sweet." Talking to Numair would be embarrassing, especially after Carthak. Thayet wouldn't offer much help, either. Thayet knew the burdens of being a princess, but not having to marry for the good of her country. Buri was wonderful for physical stuff, but, love? Eliena couldn't imagine Buri being romantic! There were no other women she could talk to. And talking to a man would just be embarrassing. What would they know about the workings of a woman? No, the only person Eliena could talk to was Daine. Wonderful Daine, who never made judgments on her best friend, even when she probably should. Eliena resolved to see Daine first thing after getting up.

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Eliena knocked on the door with the plaque "Master Numair Salmalín & Veralidaine Sarrasri." Numair opened the door, looking disheveled, with his shirt only half-laced. Eliena couldn't help but smile. Numair was sweet, if scatterbrained. And he was in quite nice shape for a man of thirty. But she still preferred Neal or Leo.

"Eliena?" Numair asked, scratching at his stomach, tugging up on his shirt as he did so. "Why are you here?"

"To steal you away from Daine," Eliena teased. "I love you, Numair, and I want you for my own." Numair raised an eyebrow, and Daine laughed. Eliena brushed past him and into the room, laughing along with her friend.

"Morning, Eliena. Isn't it a little early?" Daine asked. The girl was dressed, but brushing out her unruly curls.

"No. Want help?" Eliena offered. Daine nodded.

"I could've helped," Numair supplied. Daine rolled her eyes.

"You pull too hard. Eliena brushes gently," Daine told him. She smiled at her lover. "But I still love you, Numair."

"Good." Numair grinned and kissed her nose. "I have to check in with the king and queen before breakfast. See you both there." He left, shutting the door firmly behind him. Eliena quietly shielded the room from listeners.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" Daine asked as violet fire filled the corners. "Is it about Neal and Leo?"

"I knew you'd guess," Eliena said.

"It's the only time you ever ward the room," Daine reminded her. Eliena nodded.

"Right. Anyway." She explained the events of the previous night. Daine listened, nodding once in a while. Eliena finished brushing her friend's smoky brown curls. Daine turned to look at her. "Well?" Eliena asked. "What do you think?"

"I think you're confused," Daine replied.

"Well, I could've told you that!" Eliena said.

"Let me finish. I think you're confused on the outside, but your heart knows what you truly want," Daine finished. Eliena looked confused.

"Explain," she commanded.

"OK." Daine took a deep breath. "When you came back, Neal was wonderful solace. Leo had broken your heart—don't look at me like that, Eli, you know its true!—and Neal was here, willing to mend it for you, however temporarily. When Leo came home, you felt the break again. That's why you didn't sleep with Neal last night. When Leo came in and kissed you, all those feelings you'd been hiding when you were with Neal came forward, but you didn't want them. What I think, El, and don't bite my head off for it, is that you want Leo, but you're afraid that he's not right for you."

"How did you know?" Eliena asked, awed. "How do you always know?"

Daine shrugged. "This is the advice my ma gives. I suppose I inherited it." Eliena groaned and fell face down onto the bed.

"I love Leo. I really do. But he likes to ignore my flaws. I feel like I have to be perfect with him, to convince him that those flaws aren't there. But, Neal… Neal and I think the same. I don't have to pretend that I'm not perfect, because he's like me. Leo's so perfect… Neal knows that he isn't and is proud of it." Eliena looked at Daine. "But are Neal and I too similar? We're both flirts, that's what drove us apart in the first place. And, Leo… Leo's so tender, so loving. He truly cares about me, Daine. He does."

"Neal cares about you too, just differently," Daine offered. "He hides it better." Eliena frowned.

"So what do I do?" she asked.

"Maybe try being with Neal. Try just being with Neal until…let's say two weeks before Beltane. Then, you'll jump the embers on Beltane with whoever you choose," Daine replied. Eliena nodded.

"That sounds right," she said. "But what if I can't just be with one of them?"

"I think that's a risk you have to be willing to take."

Author's Note- I love it when I get to make Daine be all smart like that. Daine basically just told Eliena all the things in my head about why Eliena did what she did. Now, don't start going on about who's ending up with whom, because I don't know yet. We'll wait it out and see, all right? REVIEW.