Chapter 3: The Show Hosting Mew of the Christmas Present
Brian sat on the comfy chair while Mew sat on hers behind a desk. The audience were finishing off their applauding. "(Ah, Brian)," Mew cooed. "(So good to see you here)."
"Beg to differ," Brian mumbled settling down.
"(You've been having issues with Christmas, right)?"
"Of course."
"(I could ask you what's been happening recently but we have been doing some 'filming' on you)," Mew cooed, twitching her fingers like speech marks when she mentioned 'filming'.
"Really? That's a surprise," Brian said sarcastically.
"(Only on one particular moment. Have a look at this)."
They both looked at the screen that placed on the desk, showing a clip.
The clip showed Brian was in his mansion, walking towards the door after hearing the doorbell ringing. With Tony not being there to open the door, Brian had no choice but to answer. Upon opening the door, he met with a man dressed with a white buttoned short sleeved t-short, a black pair of trousers and a black tie. The man was carrying a leaflet.
"Hello, sir," the man said politely with a bright smile.
"What do you want?"
"I want to wish you a merry Christmas!" the man said happily.
"Bah! Bumhug… I mean humbug!" Brian said, feeling slightly startled when he said the word 'Bumhug'. "Billions of years too late."
"Wait! Wait!" the man said, stopping Brian from slamming the door on him. "Christmas is a time for cheer and goodwill. Not only it's about spending time with your loved ones, it's also a time for giving!" He finished as he held out his small red charity box.
Brian gave him a glare with his trademark frown as a moment of silence followed. "You interrupted my boredom for that?" he said. "Wasted five minutes of my life already. Don't knock on my door again unless it's important."
He attempted to slam the door on his face but the man held the door open to get more of his attention. "Wait! Have you ever read the bible? The part about having to help others in need?" the man said pleadingly.
"Well, it is a big book. If I remember correctly, and I quote, 'thou shalt not let idiots near thy mansion's door'," Brian replied as he finally slammed the door shut.
After everyone finished viewing the screen, everyone started booing at Brian. He narrowed his in an arrogantly fashion. "I haven't started," he said.
"(Naughty, naughty! What were you thinking when the guy was giving you tips about the joy of Christmas)?" Mew cooed, starting to feel miffed.
"I was thinking about playing Scrabble by myself," Brian said. "It would be nice for me to play against someone intelligent for a change."
Getting what he meant, the crowd booed him again while Brian motioned them to keep them coming.
"(Have you no shame? You say that you're the only person who has a hard time during those Christmas days)?" Mew cooed. "(Let's take a look)."
The screen showed a family sitting at a table eating their dinner. The father had tattoos on his arms, and long black hair; he was wearing a tight t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and a pair of sunglasses. His name was Fuzzy Tuskbourne. His wife, Karen, was wearing a black long sleeved t-shirt and pair of black trousers. The daughter, named Maggie, was a chubby teen, also wearing the same clothes as her mother. Another chubby teen, Mack, their son, was wearing a orange and blue sporting jersey and a pair of white baggy trousers.
Brian recognised them immediately. "Why, it's the Tuskbournes," he said in a sarcastically pleasing tone. "How nice to see their chubby faces again."
"Shh," Mew whispered, placing her finger on her mouth. "Listen."
At the Tuskbourne residence, Fuzzy mumbled and gibbered a number of things in which only his family could understand. Karen's eyes widened with excitement.
"That's a (WHEE!)ing good idea, Fuzzy!" she said delightfully. "We can get (D'OH!)ing Maggie to write a (BONG!)ing Christmas song and we can all (BEEP!)ing sing it together like the (EE-HE!)ing Cosbys."
"But mom, we're not black," Mack said before showing a puzzled look on his face. "Are we?"
"Mack! Why don't you just shut up!" Maggie complained. "You're such a Muk bag!"
"Fat Miltank!" Mack yelled back, not liking that comment.
"Muk bag!"
"Fat Miltank!"
"Muk bag!"
"Fat Miltank!"
"Muk bag!"
"Fat Miltank!"
"Uh… Muk bag!"
"Fat Miltank!"
"Shut the (BAD!) up, the both of you!" Karen cried angrily before a doorbell rang. "Maggie! Go get the (NO!)ing door!"
"I (SNORK!)ing hate Christmas!" Maggie yelled, getting up from her seat and turning to get the door. She evilly looked back at her brother for a brief moment. "Muk bag!" she muttered.
"Fat Miltank," Mack muttered back.
When Kelly reached the door, she grabbed and turned the handle, opening the door to reveal a number of children in warm clothes singing Christmas carols.
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year…
"Aw, would you look at that," Maggie said, feeling slightly emotional. "A bunch of young (MOO!)ing brats (BA-AH!)ing disturbing us!! We're having a (UH-UH!)ing dinner here and you're (PAF!)ing ruining it!!" she screamed angrily, scaring the little innocent kids. She crouched down towards them, putting a coin in a charity box one of the kids was holding. "But you guys have AMAZING voices," she said calmly with passion in her voice. She waved them goodbye, calmly wishing them happy holidays before shutting the door. "(FENIT!)ing (OI!)s," she snarled before making her way back to the dinner table.
When she did, another doorbell rang. "(PEACH!) sake!" she yelled, rushing towards the door.
When she reached the door, she opened it revealing a group of baby pokemon, like Pichus, baby mouse pokemon, Teddiursas, bear cub pokemon, Smoochums, baby kisser type pokemon, and others. They were cutely singing their Christmas carols but in their own language.
(Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright)...
"Oh, look at them. A bunch of baby pokemon," Maggie said, admiring their cuteness. "Why don't you lot just shut the (YAHOO!) up!" she yelled, suddenly getting extremely angry. "You (SIKE!)ing lot think you can just (DUDE!)ing walk around people's houses, (HADOKEN!)ing knock on their (BONG!)ing doors, just to (BOING!)ing sing a (BLEEP!)ing Christmas (CENSORED!)ing carol and get some (BARNEY!)ing change!! Well…"
She rummaged through her pocket and took out another coin and placed it inside their charity box. "By the way, I think you lot are SO cute," she said happily.
Sometime later, as soon she went back to the dinner table, the doorbell rang again. "Not (FORE!)ing again!" she yelled angrily startling her parents and brother. "I feel like a (WHOOPEE!)ing yo-yo here!"
While Maggie continued her non-stop complaining, Fuzzy decided to head for the door. After he opened the door, a man dressed in a sparkling attire. "Ee-he! Check your bad self, Fuzzy!" he said in a falsetto voice as he held up plastic bag full of wrapped up presents. "I just got you a bunch of pressies, ya bad man! Now dat I'm seeing you, I don't whether to laugh or cry, live or die, or…"
"Jack (PAF!)ing Michaels!!" Maggie yelled angrily. "Who (SIKE!)ing invited you in here!!"
"Just payin' a little visit, baby! Ow!" Jack said, doing a small hip thrust after saying the last word. "Cos you are not alone cos I am here with you, sha'mone!"
"I (FLIP!)ing hate you, you (BLEEP!)ing (LEDIANX!)!! You just want to (PLAYA!)ing get in his (BREEZY!)ing good books!! Why don't you just (BOBBY!)ing get the (MISTY!) out of here…!"
As she continued on, threatening to call the mental institute, Jack took his leave while dancing away. "…I (FLARE)ing hate you! With a (911!)ing vengeance!!" she yelled, pushing her father back in. "But you're funny though and your music's awesome," she cried in a calm and passionate tone before closing the door.
"Well, I'm not surprised that she was feeling that way," Brian said after the clip finished. "I get a lot of people knocking on my door."
"(See, you're not the only person who had bad times)," Mew cooed. "(What you're also showing is that you always think about yourself and not about the feelings of people and pokemon, plus the fact that you never give away anything, especially on this special season)."
"On the contrary, Oprah, I did give away a penny to those three idiots today."
"(But you did enjoy watching them get squashed by a huge crate)."
Brian let out a small sigh of bliss after remembering that moment. He always finds pleasure in other people's misfortune, much like his friends who mostly were bent on world domination.
"(You may be smiling now but you're going to have to change your ways and how you feel afterwards)," Mew cooed, which the audience applauded to.
"Fat chance," Brian grumbled while the audience continued applauding.
"(It's a funny night here tonight. Brian Powell here everybody)!" Mew cooed loudly. As expected, the crowd booed at him instead of cheering for him.
"Do you have Jennifer Anniston on the guest list?" Brian asked Mew in a slight hopeful tone.
Mew's response, having Brian thrown out of that part of the studio by security, much to the crowd's delight. He landed face first onto the floor. "I was just joking," he mumbled with his face still on the floor. He slowly picked himself up, momentarily dazed and then dusted the dirt off his shirt. "I wonder where the exit is?" he asked himself, wanting to get this adventure over with. He looked around and spotted a piece paper stuck on the wall with an arrow pointing in one direction and had the words 'It's over there' underneath the arrow.
Taking in the information he slowly walked into the corridor the arrow pointed to. Soon he spotted another arrow, pointing upwards towards the stairs with the words 'It's up there' written underneath it. He took that direction to get to the exit.
It took several arrows to get him to the exit… or so he thought. He spotted another arrow that pointed to a door with the words 'It's here' underneath it. Brian showed a confused look on his face seeing that had no exit sign on it. He opened the door and found a tall muscular goblin with red and black colours painted all over his head. On one hand, he was holding a stick with smoke emitted from the top part, on the other he was holding a bell. He was wearing a pair of the black jeans and Christmas hat on top of his head. With a bewildered and disgusted look in his, Brian asked, "Who… the heck… are you!?"
"Silent night, holy night," the goblin started singing in a slow and spooky voice. "All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild…" He laughed an evil laugh. "I'm da Boogeyman!" he yelled in a monstrous voice. "And I'm comin' to getcha!"
He finished his evil laughter mouthing Brian slowly closed the door on him, mouthing the words, "What the heck…?" To make sure that he wasn't seeing things, he opened the door again, seeing the Boogeyman again.
"Sle-eep in heavenly…" the Boogeyman sang before slamming the bell on top of his head. After receiving the impact, the Boogeyman laughed evilly again, much to Brian's bewilderment as he closed the door.
After closing the door, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Feeling rather annoyed, Brian slowly turned around and saw a tall figure wearing a cloak. The face was deeply hidden by the shade of the hood. "What do you want?" Brian asked bitterly.
The cloaked figure removed the hood, revealing his face, which appeared of a mutated cat creature, and identity. "Ah! Mewtwo," Brian said. "Liked you in that first movie and you were doing a good in that Return movie. But I do have one criticism, for a guy is trying to be evil... you're distinctly average."
"Silence!!" Mewtwo said using his telepathic ability, glaring at Brian with a frown of his own.
"Ow!" Brian said, feeling his head getting hurt from within. "I'm probably gonna more than aspirin after this. It's like listening to flipping G4 on volume level ten."
"I am the Mewtwo of the Christmas future," Mewtwo said.
"I thought that you don't anything, except sit and think all day after those movies, unless the other fanfic writers are using you..."
"Come," Mewtwo said, turning his back towards him. "Let me take you to our next destination and your future."
Brian, who never believed in any other this, turned the other way, only to find the psychic type standing in front of him, much to his unpleasant surprise. "Was I talking to myself?" Mewtwo asked, now glowing vigorously blue showing his anger.
"Yes," Brian replied simply.
Mewtwo stopped glowing and a frying pan suddenly fell on Brian's head, making a banging thud upon impact. He was knocking down, now flat on his back. "Why a frying pan?" Brian said while rubbing his aching head.
"I do have a humorous side," Mewtwo replied with an arrogant smirk.
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More coming! Reviews please!