Chapter 19 – Life Goes On and On
Days, weeks, and months passed by. May was fast approaching, bringing with it Eliza's graduation from college. The thought terrified her, even though she did have a plan: she would get her master's degree, then work, and then maybe someday get her doctoral. But though she wasn't quite finished with school yet, somehow the idea that she was graduating college made her fully appreciate the fact that she was an adult now, fully independent and responsible for her own decisions. She was still living at home, a fact that didn't fully please her and something she hoped to rectify as soon as possible. Before graduate school started in the autumn, she hoped to get a job that would enable her to save enough money to perhaps move into the city soon, close to school.
On the day of her graduation, Eliza woke to find it raining torrents outside. Perfect, she thought as she slumped back against her pillows. Of course, the graduation could be moved inside, but the sight of the dull, gray day seemed to bode ill.
Jane had come to stay for the weekend, and she was sleeping peacefully in her old bed. She herself had saved enough money to start renting a small apartment in Manhattan; nothing compared to what she had had at the Gardiner's, of course, but the fact that she had her own apartment seemed to boost her confidence enormously.
Eliza rolled over onto her side and opened her nightstand drawer, rummaging around for a chapstick. Instead of finding it, however, her hand fell upon an envelope. Her heart racing ever so faster, she quietly pulled it out and opened it. Out fell Darcy's letter. Despite the jam-packed past few months, Eliza had every once in a while pulled out his letter, which would send her back into a tizzy of thoughts and emotions. She looked over at Jane, whose lips were forming a very small smile. Eliza sighed and ran her hand over the letter; she'd never told anyone of its contents, or of what had passed between her and Will Darcy. She felt as if, were she to say it aloud, it would become all too real to her that she would never see or talk to him again, and that was a little too painful to bear. Over the months, his letter, and the words he'd said that night, had become almost a source of comfort to her. Although she still felt his words had been completely condescending and haughty, she now looked back on them with a smile. It was quite humorous in retrospect, in fact; his going on and on about family and honor and tradition. But then she remembered what she had said and the smile fell off her face. If only he knew how much his letter had changed her…
Jane stirred and Eliza quickly threw the letter back into her drawer. She got out of bed and shook all thoughts of Darcy from her mind. It wasn't really worth thinking back on him, anyway.
To her great pleasure, her father was sitting at the kitchen table, as if waiting for her. She smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Good morning, Dad," she said as she busied herself making coffee and breakfast.
"Good morning, dear," he replied, putting down his paper. When she sat down with her eggs and reached for a part of the paper, though, he stopped her with his hand.
"Oh, Lizzie," he said slowly, and she noticed that he looked very sad indeed.
"What's wrong?" she said quickly, her stomach clenching. But then he turned his head and gave her a small smile.
"I remember when you were just five years old, and you used to come into my study all the time, just poring over all my books," he started to say, and Eliza eased. She hadn't exactly expected this, but it was not unwelcome. Her father sighed and then grinned.
"Who knew I was such a sap?" he said with a chuckle. She smiled and patted her father's hand.
"I did," she said.
"I never really thought you would grow up and leave me," he said. "I thought you would stay ten years old forever."
"Well, if it's any consolation, I still feel ten years old sometimes," she said. He laughed.
"I don't know if I can survive in this house without you," he said with a smile.
She smiled too, but suddenly what he was saying washed over her, causing her to be momentarily terrified: she was going to leave, be all on her own, for the first time in her life. The thought that she wouldn't be very far away did not console her.
"Dad… you'll come visit me, right? And I can come home whenever, right?" she said, hating her voice for sounding scared.
He smiled knowingly. "Every week," he said.
She took a deep breath and began to eat her eggs. She hadn't thought graduating college would be quite so stressful, but it was. She was leaving the last safety cocoon; from now on, her life was entirely her own.
The morning passed quickly. Her father was suspiciously absent as Eliza's entire family hurried about, getting ready to go to the ceremony. Eliza thought with a smile that half the auditorium would consist of just her family, as not only were all her sisters going, but her aunt and uncle as well. She was ready before everyone else, and as she stood by the door she couldn't help but feeling buoyed by the idea that she had so many people who loved her. That feeling died quickly when she was unceremoniously shoved out the door and into the car.
"Hurry, Lizzie, or we'll be late!" her mother screeched. The family filed into two cars and then left the driveway, a mini army of Bennets. Rain was still falling by the bucket load, and they barely went over 20 miles an hour as they inched toward Manhattan. Now Eliza was feeling panicked for an entirely different reason.
"We're not going to make it!" she cried, looking at her watch for the twentieth time. It showed 1:30; the ceremony was to start at 2:00. Eliza was supposed to be there by now.
"Not much longer!" her father said from the front seat, and then suddenly, the car took off at full speed. They had broken free from the crowds; by the looks of it, most New Yorkers were staying safely inside. Her father raced along the streets, while her mother shrieked and moaned. Eliza held onto the door for dear life, and when the car pulled up to the auditorium, she flung herself out of the car, not waiting to say goodbye. She heard the car screech off to the parking garage as she opened the doors and hurried in, shaking herself off. Taking out her graduation cap, she noticed with a sigh of relief that there were several other people who were late as well, including her friend Kate.
"Kate!" she shouted as she hurried toward her.
"Lizzie! Thank God you're late, too!" Kate said, who looked drenched from head to toe. "It took us three hours to get her," she moaned; Kate lived in Pennsylvania.
"It took us an hour," Eliza said, but before they could say anything else, they were being rushed into their seats. Once in her plastic chair, Eliza turned to try and see if her family had arrived yet, but the lights were dim and the place packed. She sighed and turned her attention forward.
The ceremony was lovely, if a bit long. Eliza clutched her diploma and her cap while the crowds nearly crushed her as they filed out. She waited off to the side, until the crowd had mostly subsided. Then she left the auditorium, and almost immediately saw her large family waiting by the stairs.
"Lizzie!" Her parents hugged her tightly; her mother was covered in tears. Jane hugged her as well, but her younger sisters were off to the side, looking bored and playing with their cellphones. Next came her aunt and uncle Gardiner, who hugged her, but couldn't say anything due to the deafening din of the lobby.
"Let's go home," her father shouted, and they all made their way through the lobby to the door to the parking garage. The rain had not let up, so it was almost 5:30 by the time they got home. Her mother immediately set about making dinner, while the rest of the family changed. Eliza was the first one to come back downstairs, and the moment she did, she was called into the living room by her aunt and uncle.
"First of all, Lizzie, we're very proud of you," Aunt Anne said.
"Thanks. It means a lot that you came," Eliza said.
"Well, we've been thinking a lot the past few weeks," Uncle John.
"Trying to come up with the perfect gift," Aunt Anne continued.
"Oh, you guys didn't have –" Eliza started, but they both held up their hands.
"Yes, we did," Aunt Anne said. "Although we have to admit, it's a bit of gift for me, as well."
Eliza raised an eyebrow, puzzled.
"We're taking you to England, for six weeks," Uncle John finally proclaimed.
Eliza's mouth fell open. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. We're going in July," Aunt Anne said; her face was glowing. "Oh, Lizzie, you're going to love it so much, I'm going to show you all the places I remember growing up."
Aunt Anne had spent much of her youth in England, so there was little wonder she looked so excited.
"I'm going to have you meet all my old friends… none of that touristy stuff, you know," she went on.
Eliza was still struck speechless. Uncle John smiled shrewdly at her.
"What, you don't like it?" he said.
"Are you kidding?" Eliza screeched. "That's… I mean… that's the best present ever!" she spluttered, flinging herself forward to hug her aunt and uncle.
They spent much of the rest of the evening talking about the trip; or, at least, listening to Aunt Anne go on and on about all the places they would visit. Eliza ended the day feeling quite contented; all of a sudden, the summer was looking very promising.
"And now I am honored to present the Distinguished Citizen award to the chief partner of Darcy & Darcy legal firm, Lord William Darcy!"
Will smiled a little sheepishly as he made his way toward the podium. He had only been told three days ago that he was winning this award, and so had scrambled to compose a speech as quickly as he could. Indeed, he was winning the award after only three months of donating half of his salary to local charities.
As he took his place in front of the microphone, he had to beam as he caught sight of his sister still clapping, even though everyone else had stopped. He cleared his throat.
"Thank you, Mr. Tibbs," he began. "It has always been the Darcy family's belief that with wealth comes the responsibility to do your share for others who do not have the same luxuries. About four months ago, after graduating law school and overtaking my father's place in the firm, I realized that I have not been doing my share."
You were the last man in the entire world I could ever be with…
"I decided then," Will continued, "that my salary was far more than I could ever need."
You have only proved yourself to be arrogant, conceited…
"And so I began giving it to those who need it much more than I do," Will said, his voice a little louder than it needed to be. "My entire life, I have been given whatever I want, and now it is my turn to give to others whatever it is that they need."
Selfish, and hold nothing but disdain for the feelings of others…
Will paused and took a breath, trying to get the voice out of his head. When he noticed the crowd of well-dressed ladies and gentlemen staring anxiously at him, he took a sip of water to account for the silence.
"The city of London has long been a haven of excellence in every field, from science to the arts. I am very proud to be counted as one who encourages that excellence, and strives to push forward with it."
Your rudeness and apparent inability to be a gentleman…
"And that is why," he continued loudly; several people in the front row looked slightly alarmed, "I am very pleased to announce tonight, that this year, the Darcy and Darcy legal firm will be donating 1.5 million pounds to the Royal London Hospital to go towards a new pediatric cancer care centre."
The crowd erupted into applause; Georgia even stood up. Will was relieved to notice that the voice in his head had silenced, and he smiled appreciatively at the audience as the applauded.
Following the ceremony, Will was introduced to dozens upon dozens of doctors, professors, and prominent businessmen. His photo was taken several times, and he was forced into recounting the details for the new pediatric center many times. But he didn't mind, at least certainly not as much as he would have a year ago. He graciously shook hands and exchanged pleasant chitchat until he noticed Georgia falling asleep at a table nearby. Excusing himself, he took her out of the large hall and they got into a taxi outside.
"So how was I?" he asked, a little nervously. He had not felt very confident about his speech.
"You were wonderful," Georgia enthused, who now seemed much more awake.
"Really?" he said incredulously; all he could remember was taking huge pauses between sentences.
"Yes! You seemed…" she trailed off.
"I seemed what?"
"You seemed yourself, is all," she said with a shrug.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said; she grinned and shook her head.
"You weren't grouchy," she said simply. "You actually smiled a few times. It was nice."
Will chuckled, but secretly felt relieved. Relieved that his sister thought that his true self was the non-grouchy, smiling Will and not the exact opposite.
"So the speech was really ok?" he pressed.
"Well, there were a few times where you paused and looked sort of lost, but I think I was the only who noticed," she said.
"Oh… yeah, I just lost my place," Will lied quickly.
"That's what I thought," she said.
They pulled up to their townhouse, and Will paid the driver. Georgia immediately went upstairs to bed, but Will sat down on the couch and poured himself some wine. Flipping through the channels, he found he still could not concentrate.
It was as it had been on and off for the past five months; suddenly, Eliza would take up every spare thought he had, her words from New Year's Eve repeating over and over in his mind. He had memorized every word she'd said that night, and he had found in January that he could not forget them. So he'd taken them and turned them into a tool, a motivation. If there was any chance in hell or heaven that he would ever see her again, he did not want to be that Will that she'd known. He wanted to be the Will that he knew he actually was, the one he was only with his family.
It certainly had not been easy, and indeed, tonight had been his first big test. He'd worked on little things before: giving his secretary a raise, walking instead of driving to work, getting to know his neighbors, talking to the cashier at the deli. But he'd not been at a function or a party yet, where he would have to meet and talk with large amounts of people, something he would have detested six months ago. But, he thought with a smile, he was sure he had passed with flying colors. He had been pleasant, shared some of his best jokes, and had even exchanged chitchat with Lord Tinsley, who happened to be the most contemptuously boring man on the face of the earth. He leaned back on the couch and settled in for a screening of Charade, content for the first time in many months.
The following morning found Will still on the couch, his tux now rumpled and wrinkled. There was a note on the coffee table from Georgia, saying she'd gone shopping with friends for the day and would call later. Will rubbed his eyes and sat up; a bad move, he quickly found out, as his back spasmed in pain. His sleeping position had apparently not been the most comfortable one and he fell back onto the couch with a groan. His back fell into a dull, throbbing pain, and he tried once again to get up. No such luck.
Groping for the phone, Will cursed silently to himself as he dialed his sister's number. Ring followed ring until her voicemail picked up. Cursing out loud this time, he furiously dialed Bingley's number, who picked up one the first ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Charles, it's Will," Will croaked into the phone.
"Will? You sound awful," Charles said.
"My back is going into spasms, I can't move."
"I'll be right there."
Before Will could say another word, Charles had hung up and was undoubtedly rushing out the door. He lived a mere five blocks away, so Will was not surprised when there was a knock at the door five minutes later.
"Will? Will!" he heard Charles calling from the hall.
"In here!" Will yelled, and soon Charles appeared in the room, dressed in jeans and an old t-shirt. He looked momentarily confused by Will's appearance, but then sat down on the table and looked at him.
"Here, put this pillow under your back," he said first, grabbing a fluffy pillow from another chair. Will gingerly lifted his back a little and Charles stuffed the pillow under.
"Alright, I'll go get water and aspirin," Charles said, and hurried into the kitchen. Will shifted uncomfortably as he tried to lift up his head a little. Charles quickly came back in, and Will gratefully took the medicine, and downed the glass of water in one gulp. He then settled back and tried to relax.
"Do you mind me asking how exactly you got here?" Charles said with a smile, gesturing to the couch.
"Well, I got home late from the award thing last night, and I ended up just crashing on the couch," Will explained, grimacing as his back throbbed.
"Oh right… how was it?"
Will shrugged. "Fine."
"Just fine?"
"It was pretty nice. Everyone was very pleasant."
Charles looked at Will in alarm. "Pleasant?" he repeated.
"Yeah," Will said defensively.
"You mean you actually talked to someone?" Charles said.
"Yes, I met a lot of people."
Charles stared for a second and then narrowed his eyes. "What's up with you lately?"
"What do you mean?" Will asked, averting his eyes.
"I don't know, but you've been acting kind of odd lately," Charles explained.
"Odd how?"
"Well, with strangers…" he trailed off, as if trying to find the right words. "You're just more yourself, I guess. That's not a bad thing!" he added hastily at the look on Will's face. "No, I'm happy for it. I was just wondering, is all."
Will stared at his feet and didn't answer.
"It's not… it's not that you've met someone, is it?" Charles asked.
Will loosened the top few buttons on his shirt. He had never breathed a word of what had happened between him and Eliza to anyone, nor was he about to. He shrugged and tried to appear normal.
"No, not at all," he said, and then looked over at Charles, who suddenly seemed lost in thought staring at the Oriental rug. "Charles?" Will asked. "What's wrong?"
Charles started and looked up at Will. "Me? Nothing." He paused, again resuming his gaze toward the carpet. "I just… can I admit something to you, Will?"
"Sure, anything," Will said, intrigued.
"I had a dream about her last night… Jane," he said. Will flushed and looked away quickly. This was not a conversation he wanted to have.
"Who?" Will asked, feigning forgetfulness.
"Jane Bennet! Remember, from Long Island… in the States?" Charles went on, his expression somehow wild now. "I dreamt about her last night."
"Oh right, her," Will said. She loved Bingley, and you tore them apart!
There was a long silence between the two friends. And then Will decided it was time to say something, before Eliza's voice drowned out all other thought.
"Listen, Charles…" he began. Charles looked up at him.
"Did you… did you love her?" Will asked. "I mean, really love her, not like you were in love with all those other girls."
Charles paused, staring at Will. Will felt distinctly uncomfortable, and suddenly realized that Charles had not been with a girl since they had left Long Island. He had never gone that long without a girlfriend before.
"I really think I did," Charles finally answered. Will nodded.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"What for?" Charles asked.
"For dragging you away from there. I probably shouldn't have," Will said, but Charles shook his head.
"But if she didn't love me, then I'd be in a worse position than I am now. I should be thanking you," Charles replied.
"If she didn't love you, Charles," Will said, with a sharp intake of breath; he had made a small movement that made his back scream in agony. "You don't know for sure."
Charles looked at him thoughtfully, but then shrugged and smiled, although it seemed very forced. "Ah well, it's all in the past, right? It's not like we'll ever see those Bennets again."
Will nodded and slumped back into the couch. God did he hope Charles was wrong.
A/N: Yay for new chapter! Please please please review! I love you all very much.
Just a note, I probably should have specified last chapter, but the bit at the very beginning of Chapter 18 was in fact part of the song We Can Work it Out by the Beatles, where, as you might have guessed, we get our title from! I happened to be listening to it one day while I was writing the very first chapter, and I was like, wow! These lyrics correlate very nicely to the story! So voila, I had a title.
So please review – I am over the moon about how many reviews this story gets. You are all fantabupendous! (my own word, which you can use anytime you like)
Love, luck, and flying Ringwraiths,
Emma the NazgulQueen