Chapter 14
She had never seen her father in this condition. Craig was always so strong, it seemed like nothing could ever break him. But here he was, lying in a hospital bed, so fragile, so different.
''Daddy…'', she whispered into his grey hair. ''Daddy, please wake up''. She looked at him through her tears searching for a sign that he could feel her presence but he remained still. ''Please, forgive me. I never intented to harm you. I didn't know…''. The sobs didn't allow her to continue. She kept crying for several minutes, until she was able to speak again. ''I never imagined this would happen. I know I am the one to blame. But please, don't punish me like this. Please, come back to us and I'll do whatever you ask me to. But above all, you should get well, you hear me?''. Giving him a kiss, she got up and left the room crying. Renée stood at the hall and the minute she saw her daughter, she came close and opened her arms to embrace her.
''You took the right decision, my girl. Your father will be very proud of you. One day, you will see that this is for the best''. Deirdre remained silent and left her, heading to the exit. She needed to stay away from all those who didn't feel for her. She would do what they asked but she couldn't stand Renée's fake consolations. She walked for a long while and by the time she reached her destination, it was almost dusk. She knocked on the door and wished that no one would open it. Her wish, though, did not come true. The door opened and behind it his face appeared.
''Deirdre!'', he said with a sweet kiss, which only made her feel worse.
''Paul, we need to talk'', she said seriously.
''What's wrong, honey?'', he asked noticing all of a sudden how different she looked tonight. Sad, depressed, it seemed like she had given up. There was a shadow in her eyes that made them dark and distant.
''Paul… This can't go on…''
''What? I don't understand. Come inside'', he said stepping back to let her enter.
''There is no need. I can tell you what I want from here''.
''Well, what do you want to tell me exactly?''
''That we can't be together anymore''. For a few seconds he looked at her thinking that she was joking.
''Deirdre, you're not serious, are you?''
''Believe me, Paul. I've never been more serious''.
''But you can't be asking me to break up with you. What happened?'', he asked trying to make a meaning of this.
''It shouldn't come to this. I was wrong to think that this relationship could work. I want you to know that I don't blame you. I blame myself. I was overwhelmed by the excitement and I made you believe that I love you but…''
''But what, Deirdre? You don't? Is that what you're trying to say?''
''Forgive me'', she said with tears running down her cheeks. ''I sincerely care about you but all those plans you make for the future can't come true, Paul. We don't belong together''.
''You knew that from the start!'', he said hitting his hand on the wall. ''Why are you doing this now?''
''Paul, I cannot abandon my family, don't you understand? I can't leave everything behind and follow you to the unknown. I'm sorry, I can't. I know that I disappoint you but this has to end''.
''You don't really believe what you're saying, right? All these feelings you said you had… They didn't just vanish!''
''These feelings you say...'', she said stretching her arm to touch his hair, ''were the feelings of a naive, immature girl. Now everything is different. I must do what's best for my family, Paul. I know this hurts and trust me, I would never think to hurt you this way but… It's over. Also, I should tell you that… I'm getting engaged soon''.
''What… What are you saying? I have tickets for us to leave together. I have taken care of everything and now you tell me that you're getting engaged?''
''I'm sorry. I shouldn't let you spend so much''.
''Is that all you have to say?'', he asked her devastated and she took a wallet out of her bag and gave him some money.
''Please, take it! You lost your job because of me and you spent a lot of money for us too''.
''Really?'', he said laughing and crying at the same time. He held it in his hand and then put it in hers. ''Keep your money, Deirdre. I don't need it. I don't need money neither from you nor your father''.
''I'm truly sorry'', she said not daring to look at his eyes.
''You're sorry? You? I'm the one who is sorry, Deirdre. You're getting married''. Those were the last words he said to her. Then, he closed the door and she was alone. Alone. Shattered. Just like him. And it wasn't even his fault. It wasn't his choice. Deirdre made the choice for both of them. She had sealed their fate and Paul was now obliged to take the only path that was left for him.