Disclaimer: I don't own Corpse Bride… it totally sucks…
Meanwhile at the scary headquarter place, Barkis was making a plan for the Anti-Paparazzi force. He was still cackling evilly when one of his evil paparazzi came in.
"Master," the annoying photographer said. "I just found something out about the people who are against us."
"Shoot," Barkis said.
"Okay," the paparazzo replied. He took a dart gun and shot it into Barkis' foot.
"I didn't mean it that way!" Barkis said angrily, obviously not in pain. "What I meant to say is that you can tell me."
"Oh, anyway, the enemy is going to use sock monkeys against us."
"SOCK MONKEYS?!" Barkis shrieked. "I BET THEY KNOW THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO SOCK MONKEYS!"
"You're allergic to sock monkeys?" the photographer said, trying to stifle a laugh.
"You find my pain funny?" Barkis snapped.
"No, I just find it a bit ridiculous that one could be allergic to sock monkeys."
"Well you're fired!" Barkis barked as he pushed a button that made the floor open beneath the paparazzo's feet and he fell to his doom.
Back at the vacant community center, everyone was doing their business peacefully when out of nowhere, Hermione cried out, "I CAN'T DO THIS!"
"What's wrong, Hermione?" Lady Tottington asked.
"I'm under too much stress!" The teenage witch lamented. "I can't handle pressure!"
"Is their anything we can do to help?" Victoria asked.
"Well…" Hermione said. "There is one thing."
The next thing they knew, they were all sitting around in a circle singing while Victor was at the piano playing the sheet music to this song: Joe Le Taxi.
Everyone sang in perfect harmony:
Joe le taxi
Y va pas partout
Y marche pas au soda
Son saxo jaune
Connait toutes les rues par coeur
Tous les p'tits bars
Tous les coins noirs
Et la Seine
Et ses ponts qui brillent
Dans sa caisse
La musique a Joe
C'est la rumba
Le vieux rock au mambo
Joe le taxi
C'est sa vie
Le rhum au mambo
Embouteillage
Il est comme ca
Rhum et mambo
Joe - Joe - Joe
Dans sa caisse
La musique a Joe resonne
C'est la rumba
Le vieux rock au mambo bidon
Vas-y Joe
Vas-y Joe
Vas-y fonce
Dans la nuit vers l'amazone
Joe le taxi
Et Xavier Cugat
Joe le taxi
Et Yma Sumac
Joe - Joe - Joe
Joe le taxi
C'est sa vie
Le rhum au mambo
Embouteillage
Joe le taxi
Et les Mariachis
Joe le taxi
Et le cha-cha-chi
Joe le taxi
Et le cha-cha-chi
Vas-y Joe
Vas-y fonce
Dans la nuit vers l'amazone
"I feel much better!" Hermione exclaimed. "I think I can go back to work now."
"I never knew that Vanessa Paradis' music could calm you down." Jack said.
"Well, ever since I heard this song maybe three years ago while taking a huge test, it seems to have a calming quality to it." She replied.
"Let's get back to work, everybody," Harry's Girl replied.
"Yeah," Nausicaa added. "If we want to get done by Wednesday, we have to start working right now." Everyone went back to business.
At the scary headquarter place, one of Barkis' henchmen had made a vaccine for sock monkey allergies.
"Master," he said. "I have made the perfect formula to solve your sock monkey allergies."
"Excellent," Barkis hissed evilly. Then his phone rang when the henchman was about to explain the concoction even further.
"Ma," Barkis said into the phone. "I can't talk right now; one of my evil henchmen is trying to explain the properties of a vaccine for my sock monkey allergies." When he hung up, the henchman had left to go stuff his face with Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Ice Cream.
End of chapter four... How was this one? Good? OK? Horrible? Let me know in your reviews and Mountain Dew, B&J's Ice Cream Cake, Gourmet Chocolate Bars from Wisconsin, and sock monkeys shall be sent your way!
-Harry's Girl 01031992
P.S. If you want the translated lyrics for "Joe Le Taxi", go to: http://www.vanessaparadis.info/Mots/lyrics/ljoeletaxi.html and if you want the music video, go to: Have fun singing en Francais!