Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters... if I did, I'd be pretty darn rich. (ponders about it but keeps on typing the story)

It was three days until the battle between the Anti-Paparazzi force and Barkis and his men. At the vacant community center, all heck was about to break loose: EMILY, BEING THE SHAMELESS FLIRT SHE IS, WAS FLIRTING WITH JACK SKELLINGTON WHO WAS ALREADY SEEING SALLY!

When it first happened, he didn't even notice that the dead bride was flirting with him, but as the days went on, Jack S. got even more freaked out when Emily's flirtatious ways got even lustier.

Sally heard about this when she was shopping in Halloweentown one day. She immediately went to the deserted community center via magical portal and confronted Emily right away.

"What the (bleep) are you doing, you dead broad?!" Sally hissed.

"Who are you and what's up with your limbs?" Emily hissed back.

"My name is Sally Finklestein and I'm an experiment of Doctor Finklestein. I heard that you were flirting with my man!"

"Your man?" Emily questioned. "I don't see 'Property of Sally' anywhere on him."

"Jack, bend over!" Sally commanded.

"Why?" questioned Jack Skellington.

"DO IT!!!!!" She shrieked. And so he did. On the seat of his pants, there was a stamp in big, bold letters that said "PROPERTY OF SALLY FINKLESTEIN".

"How 'bout we fight for him?" Emily proposed.

"Winner gets Jack; loser has to run around the city in a Barney suit screaming 'I HAVE HEMMEROIDS AND THEY BURN AND OOZE LIKE CRAZY!!!!'" Sally replied.

"How should you guys fight for him?" Nausicaa asked.

"I got it!" Random exclaimed. "You'll both listen to Paris Hilton music for as long as you can stand it while drinking sour llama's milk."

"Okay… that was random." Harry's Girl said.

"Is that why they call you Random Little Writer?" Lady Tottington asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." Random replied.

"IT'S ON!" Sally said. Victor V. then got a boom box out popped the CD from heck into the player thing-er while Jack Sparrow plugged his nose as he poured the expired llama milk into shot glasses. The competition then started. Gromit winced as Emily chugged down her milk like there was no tomorrow. Victoria gagged as Sally didn't seem fazed by the demonic music. This continued for five hours until both girls were on the floor nauseated and putting their hands to their ears to prevent themselves from going insane from the satanic songs.

"I forfeit!" Emily cried. "You two look good together and I already have a love interest!"

"You were a good sport, Em." Sally replied.

Everybody came from out of the bathrooms after a session of trying not to vomit.

"Is it over?" Victor Q. asked. "That was one of the most nauseating things I've ever seen."

"Oh, yeah! Like killing living animals is much less nauseating than that!" Victor V. said.

"I've always wondered what spoiled llama milk would taste like as a cheese…" Wallace pondered.

"I hope you guys don't get food poisoning from that spoiled llama milk." Hermione said.

"Yeah, I've heard that can be torture on your bowels." Ron added.

Sally then got up and kissed her bony boyfriend. Everybody went "Aawww!" like every clichéd romance movie.

"Now," Jack Sparrow said. "Let's focus on combat so we can be ready to take down that man with the face shaped like an a…"

"Yes, we get your point! There's no need for profanity, my darling." Harry's Girl interjected.

"So..." Random Little Writer said. "Are we gonna see you running around in a Barney suit screaming about your hemmeroids?"

The next thing Emily knew, she was running around in a purple dinosaur suit screaming about her fictional hemmeroids while everybody laughed hysterically.

End of chapter! How did you guys like this one? Review and I shall send B&J's ice cream cake, brownies, and the video of Emily running around in a Barney suit your way! Happy reviewing!

-Harry's Girl 01031992