Disclaimer: I don't own… stop bugging me about it!

It was the night of the battle with Barkis and everybody was having pre-battle jitters.

Victor V. was in the corner of the room in a fetal position, sucking his thumb, and rocking back and forth; Victoria was giggling nervously; Quartermaine, being a nervous farter, was farting up a storm; Jack Sparrow was guzzling down a bottle of rum; Lady Tottington was picking at her clothes; Wallace and Gromit were playing hamburger bun rugby to take their minds off of the jitters; Harry was singing "Die Another Day" by Madonna; Ron was bingeing on chocolate covered cherries; Hermione had a nervous habit of throwing veggie burgers at people so she was doing that; Harry's Girl was crying because she was so nervous; Nausicaa was randomly singing "Numa Numa"; Random was yelling at the wall for being lazy; Emily was holding on to a security blanket. Jack Skellington and Sally were the only ones who weren't scared.

"Come on, you guys!" Jack said, decked out in his armor. "The battle starts in fifteen minutes and you guys aren't pumped!"

"Shut up, you shkelleton!" Jack S. slurred drunkenly.

"What he means to say," Emily said. "Is that we're having pre-battle jitters."

"We need some motivation!" Hermione piped up.

"What more motivation do you need? Your motivation is that we're going to stop Butt-Face and his mindless henchmen!"

"Well… there is one thing…" Harry's Girl said.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…" Jack said.

The sun'll come out

Tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar that

Tomorrow

There'll be sun

Just thinkin' about tomorrow

Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow

'Til there's none

When I'm stuck with a day

That's grey

And lonely

I just stick up my chin

And grin

And say, oh…

The sun'll come out

Tomorrow

So ya gotta hang on 'til

Tomorrow,

Come what may…

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

I love ya, Tomorrow!

You're only a day away!!!

"I just love show tunes!" Lady Tottington exclaimed.

"Yeah," Victoria said. "They just tend to lift my spirits!"

"Same here!" Victor said.

"What was the point of that?" Quartermaine asked. "All that did was waste time!"

He was whacked upside the head by Jack Sparrow.

"I feel so much more motivated now!" Nausicaa said.

"Yeah," Ron replied. "Who knew that show tunes could be so motivating."

"Can we please go now?" Random asked. "I wanna get this over with!" Everyone got up, got the bait, bombs, and suited up in their armor.

Downtown, Barkis was waiting with his evil henchmen.

"I need that vaccine now!" Butt-Face barked at the henchman who concocted it.

"Mr. Barkis sir, there's something I need to tell you…" he said

"SHOOT ME UP, NOW!!!" Barkis snapped. The henchman did as he was told. Just then, Barkis spotted a bucket of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Ice Cream.

"Oooh!" Barkis exclaimed. "There's some Ben and Jerry's Phish Food over yonder! Go get it for me!"

A henchman scurried over to the bucket and he was pulled into the bush that the bucket was near. All of a sudden, sock monkeys started flying and unleashing their noxious gas.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The paparazzi exclaimed. "The Anti-Christ is coming! Take cover!" And they did take cover. Barkis started swelling up like a water balloon.

"Why isn't the vaccine working?!" Barkis hissed through an enlarged tongue at the paparazzi who gave it to him.

"Funny you should mention that," the paparazzo said. "The vaccine is supposed to be given twenty four hours before contact with sock monkeys." That paparazzo was immediately crushed by a giant sock monkey. Barkis ran away screaming because his enemies were chasing him.

In one corner of the street, Jack Skellington had the paparazzi in a corner. He came up to them, grinned evilly, and rubbed his index finger down his middle finger and said "Spooky!" All of those paparazzi fainted from fright.

In another part of downtown, Jack Sparrow was chasing the paparazzi tipsily brandishing a sword. "I'm gonna get you, you shlime bagsh!" he slurred.

Victor, Victoria, and Emily were making threatening karate poses that made the paparazzi cry for their mommies.

Harry's Girl, Random, and Nausicaa were whacking some paparazzi on the heads with various wind instruments.

Lady Tottington, Wallace, and Gromit were throwing expired hard-boiled eggs at the evil photographers.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron were casting hexes, spells, and curses at the "annoying insects" like there was no tomorrow.

Sally was making her limbs beat the photographers on their heads.

Victor Quartermaine, being the dummy he is, was randomly run over by a Clydesdale horse that was randomly escaping from the glue factory.

About two hours later, the battle ceased and paparazzi waved their white flags in surrender.

"Three cheers for team-work!" Everybody cried. They gave one "huzzah", one "woot", and one "hurrah!" Just as they finished, Emily's cell-phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered. It was the cute cashier. "Hi! I was wondering when you might call." There was garbled speech on the other line. "Dinner? Tomorrow at 7? Sounds great! I'll see you then." She hung up. Victor found Barkis writhing on the ground in pain from allergies.

"Someone get this guy an Epi-Pen!" Victor exclaimed. He was tossed one by Harry's Girl, who kept an Epi-Pen in her purse even though she didn't have potentially deadly allergies. Victor injected the villain with the medicine and the swelling immediately went down.

"Call Scotland Yard," Wallace said. "They're gonna need to put this one in the criminally evil cell block." Victoria pulled out her phone and called the foreign police-force and they immediately rushed to the scene even though they live on a separate continent than the U.S. which is scientifically impossible and they put him in the cop-car.

"Come on, everybody!" Random said. "Let's go back to the community center and celebrate by drinking excessive amounts of Mountain Dew and get hyper!" And so they did… well that is… except for Victor Quartermaine because he was as flat as a pancake.

End of Chapter! This isn't my last chapter, but it's my second to last one... find out what it is when I update. Review and I shall give out Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cake, Hubba Bubba Max bubble gum, and pomegranate juice. Happy reviewing!

-Harry's Girl 01031992