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ANAKIN'S REDEMPTION

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To the Mace fans: Get over it.

Padmeonpaper: SLAP! Ok, I slapped Leia for you ;)

VFSNAKE: Your comments crack me up every time! LOL! You are hilarious!

Triss33: Well at least YOU get it! ;)

Arie: ROFLOL that little scene would fit PERFECTLY into this story! Can I steal it? LOL.

Darthrevan: Ok here's more but only because you've been good hehehe :)

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CHAPTER NINE - Training

"Luke, I didn't tell you earlier but I had another visit from Obi-Wan," said Anakin in the med center, having his shoulder bandaged and repaired with synth-skin.
"You did? What did he tell you?"

"He had…a special project for me."

"A project?"
"Yes…Obi-Wan would like me to continue your Jedi training. I'm not sure –"
Luke's face broke into a huge grin. "He said that? That would be great!"
"Really Luke?" Anakin was still uncertain. "I just think it might be a bit risky. It hasn't been all that long since I was still under the dark side's influence. And you yourself came quite close. I'm worried – "
"But Father, who better to train me? You are the only living Jedi that remains. You are my father. And you're the only one who can truly teach me how to avoid the dark side."
Anakin looked at him curiously. "Funny, that's exactly what Obi-Wan said. You haven't spoken to him by any chance?"
Luke shook his head. "No Father, I have not seen him since the night of the party. Why, what did he say?"

Anakin paused. "Obi-Wan believes that the Jedi did not fully understand the dark side, and that is – in part – to blame for their downfall. I have to say, perhaps he is right. All I was ever taught during my training, was that the dark side is dangerous and to stay away from it. I didn't understand it, and so I didn't fully recognize it when it was near me."

Luke looked troubled. "But does Obi-Wan want me to train under the dark side?"

"No, that is what I asked too. He wants me to train you in the light, but to help you to recognize and know the dark side. And how to conquer it if you ever find yourself being drawn into it. Though…you already did that quite well yourself."

"Thankyou," said Luke. "But where do we start?"

"Well, before we begin, I need a new lightsaber," said Anakin. "I hadn't really given much consideration to a new one, but after the incident with Leia today, I realized how much I need one. Can you help?"
"Of course, Father. I can help you get the parts and crystals you need. Though I don't think that should be too difficult here on Coruscant…didn't you have parts here in the Emperor's palace?"

"Yes," Anakin confirmed. "The Emperor has an entire stockpile of lightsaber equipment. Though I'd prefer to build my own from scratch. I don't want to even touch something that has been near the dark side."
"I understand," nodded Luke. "We'll find the parts in no time."

The med droid finished up dressing Anakin's shoulder. "Well," he said, standing up. "I can thank that attacker for one thing."
"What's that?" asked Luke.

"He got me out of Leia's boring senate meeting."

Luke laughed. "Would it be that bad?"
"I hate politics. Aside from being dull, you can't trust senators."
"But we can trust Leia!" said Luke.
"She's so much like her mother it scares me."

---

Anakin pressed the button, igniting his new lightsaber. It shone a brilliant aquamarine. He swung it back and forth, getting a feel for it.
"It works fine," he called to Luke. "Those corusca gems you found made a great colour."
"Well, should we test it out?" challenged Luke, igniting his own saber and positioning himself in a fighting stance.

"Hmm, where have I seen this before?" laughed Anakin. "Okay son, show me what you've got!"

Luke swung at Anakin. "Last time we did this, I seem to recall I was winning."
"I also seem to recall that you were using the dark side at the time." Anakin parried and brought his saber in a sideways slash towards Luke.
"Touché," said Luke, swinging back. "But I turned back just in time."

"Yes son, but don't let that make you overconfident. It's not a matter of turning the dark side on and off. The dark side was flowing through you when you attacked me. I felt it flowing through you, the sudden power. It was…exhilarating, was it not?"

"Yes Father." Luke twirled around and brought his saber down in a chopping motion. "I was suddenly so strong, invincible. But it was also frightening. I felt so out of control. I was just swinging at anything. I only wanted to destroy you. I didn't care how."
"Exactly." Anakin leapt as Luke swung his lightsaber under his feet. "Your rage made you powerful but it also made you weak. You were prepared to kill your own father. If you had, your guilt would have made you vulnerable to the Emperor. Guilt is one of the quickest paths to the dark side that there is. Once you feel you have done something terrible, it becomes easier to do more terrible things rather than accept the shame of what you have done. Remember that."

"Yes Father."

"If you find yourself responsible for something - death, a failure, you must forgive yourself. Don't let your guilt overwhelm you, like it did me."

"How Father?" Luke thrust his saber forward.

Anakin sidestepped and swung around. "I killed a Jedi Master to protect Palpatine. Once I did that, I pledged myself to him. I thought I had already done something so evil, that I had nowhere else to go. Now I know better. I could have accepted responsibility for my actions, but I turned and ran from it, and hid behind the Emperor's robes. Don't make that mistake."

"I won't, Father."

"Sometimes you may be tempted to use the dark side as a means to an end. It is the quicker, easier way to defeat your opponent. But remember, even using the dark side for a moment will change you."

"Yes Father."

"You must remember to be mindful of your attachments – to people, to things. Under the old Jedi Order we were forbidden to have attachments of any kind. I am not sure that they were correct, but I do see their point."
"What do you mean Father?"
"Yoda used to say, attachment leads to jealousy, which will lead to suffering. He was right."

Luke parried and Anakin sidestepped, easily blocking him. "So what are you saying Father? That I should block my feelings for my friends, for Leia, for you? Will it be dangerous to me?"

"Yes and no," replied Anakin, counter attacking Luke, who spun around and brought his lightsaber down on Anakin's. "Your love and compassion for them can be a great thing, a strength, as it was for me there on the Death Star. But your love can be a danger – look how easily I could use them against you, more than once. You must never rush in headfirst when your friends are in trouble, as on Bespin. You only make matters worse and put yourself at risk."

Luke sighed. "That's what Yoda and Obi-Wan said."

"I'm sure they did," remarked Anakin. "Always think before you act. Meditate on it if you must. Let go of your fears. As Yoda once said – 'Train yourself to let go of all that you fear to lose.' It's very important. As hard as it is, you must accept the fate of your loved ones to the Force. It is not always up to you to save them."

"Okay Father." Luke deflected a blow from Anakin. "But how do I stop myself from caring so much?"

"Attachment can be good but it can also be a path to the dark side. I have come to understand that there is more than one form of attachment. There is healthy, selfless love for your friends and family. But the one to beware, is possession. When you feel like you own someone, when you feel like you cannot live without them, then that is dangerous."

"I think I understand," said Luke through gritted teeth as he warded off a strike from Anakin's lightsaber.

"I thought I loved your mother, but I now understand that my love for her was conditional and possessive. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to control her. The minute she didn't agree with me, I turned on her. It happened many times, even before I became a Sith. Remember that when you love someone, you accept who they are, and never try to control them to be what you want. That also means not trying to control their destiny, by rushing to prevent something you think to be bad for them. Including death."

Luke nodded and dodged a blow from Anakin.

"Padme was the love of my life," he continued. "I adored her. I would have died for her. Yet I used my anger to choke her. Does that tell you something about the dark side? How it can turn you against even those you love? I turned to the darkness thinking it would give me the power to save and protect her, yet I ended up hurting her. So you must always remember, there is never a reason for the dark side, even an honorable one."

"I take it you have been thinking about Mother alot?"

Anakin did not answer. He blocked a strike from Luke and followed with his own.

"Stupid question, I guess."

Anakin still did not reply.
"Are you going to try to see her again?"
"I don't think that decision is mine to make," Anakin finally said. "I must wait until Leia trusts me enough to tell me."
"She said she's on Naboo," Luke reminded him. "Why don't you just go there? You'll probably sense her through the Force."
Anakin was silent for a moment, pausing in their battle. "I could," he said. "I would very much like to, after all these years. But I can't. I have to wait until the time is right. Rushing in is something Vader would do. This is exactly what we have been talking about, Luke. Never rush into something that you are unsure of."

Luke nodded. "Okay Father."

"What about you?" Anakin countered. "Don't you want to meet her?"

Luke slashed back and forth with his lightsaber. "Yes," he sighed. "But like you, I don't want to rush in after all these years."

"She's your mother," said Anakin. "You haven't wondered about her?"

"Of course." Luke ducked as Anakin swung over his head. "But I have to wonder, why she never came looking for me. She kept contact with Leia all these years, why not me? Surely she kept contact with Obi-Wan, she must have known where I was?"

"I don't know," admitted Anakin. "But I know Padme, and I know she would never have abandoned you. She must have had a reason. From what Leia said, she has been hiding from me. Perhaps it was not possible for her to visit you."

"I don't know," mumbled Luke, looking down. Anakin used Luke's momentary distraction to his advantage. He swung unexpectedly, catching Luke by surprise and severing his mechanical right hand. Luke screamed and clutched his arm.

"My HAND!"

"How do you feel?"

"Mad as hell!"

"Exactly…feel it, experience it. What does the anger do to you?"

"It makes me feel…stronger…more powerful. I want to take revenge. I feel…like I'm standing on an edge. I could fall into it."

"Exactly. Now center yourself in the force. Feel it flow through you. Feel the anger flow away."

Luke took a breath, let the force flow through him.

"How do you feel now?"
"Calm."
"Good," said Anakin.

"But now I only have one hand."

Anakin laughed. "We'll get you a new one. It's about time you upgraded anyway. Now, keep fighting. You can't run away like you did the first time you lost your hand. Focus. Move through the pain."

Luke composed himself. He raised his lightsaber, then attacked Anakin again.

"Calm, Luke, calm," advised his father. "Use the pain to your advantage, but not for anger or aggression." Luke followed through, striking back and forth, letting the force control his movements. He swiped suddenly, almost taking off one of Anakin's arms before his father jumped back just in time.

"Impressive!" he laughed. "Most impressive. You controlled your anger. Well done."

"What the hell are you doing?"

Luke and Anakin turned to see Leia, her face one of pure horror. Luke hastily hid his severed hand behind his back.

"It's okay, Leia. We're just training," he told her quickly.
"Training for what? How to kill each other?" Leia's tone was scornful.
"Father is continuing my Jedi training"
"Please tell me you are joking. Jedi training from Darth Vader?"
"Jedi training from my father, yes."
Leia sighed. "Oh this just keeps getting better and better." She turned away.

"You should train with us Leia," Luke called after her. Leia responded with a look of disgust.
"With him?" she sneered towards her father.
"I don't know. But you should. It could help you."

"I have survived this far without using the Force or any other power. I don't need it and I don't want anything that could make me like him." She shot a hateful glare at Anakin. "Look what it did to him! Why would I want to mess with that?"

"But Leia – "

She was already walking away. Luke started to follow her.

"Don't," warned Anakin, pulling him back.

"But shouldn't we start training Leia in the Force? If her life is in danger, she will need it."

"Now is not the right time, Luke," said Anakin. "She is so full of anger and rage at the moment. She could be a danger to herself. In time, if she calms down and learns to control her feelings, she would make a very powerful Jedi. But not yet. Besides, she would not accept me as a teacher, and your training is not yet enough to take on a student."

"You're the one who kept saying my training was complete. Why can't I teach her?" Luke protested.
"You are a fine Jedi Knight. But you are not ready for an apprentice. When I became Obi-Wan's Padawan learner, he had only just finished the trials to become a full Jedi himself. He was a great mentor, but I was a difficult student. And I have a feeling Leia would be equally difficult...if not more so. I don't want you to take on something you are not ready to handle. Now, come let's get you a new hand."